Zombie Apocalypse: Survive and Thrive in Corporate America

By Perry Hurtt

A humorous look at Self Improvement for the Zombie Apocalypse written by, for and about a self described Corporate Drone and self improvement fanatic. No real self improvement books were harmed in the making of this one.

Learn how Zombies think in "As a Zombie Thinketh"

Read about Zombie Tzu, the ancient philosopher

Understand that what you're looking for is right in your own back yard in "Acres of Zombies"

Limit the hours you put in every week in "The Zombies for and a half Hour Work Week"

Study Mack-Ya-Velli, the Zombie Prince and learn from his hard taught lessons.

This and more - all meant to make you giggle a little and see the absurdity at work every day in Corporate America.

Enjoy!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Perry Hurtt
• Release date: Jul 25, 2013
• ISBN: 9781301341368

Perry Hurtt

Hey all! I was born in Hillsboro, Oregon in 1965. I joined the Marine Corps as soon as I graduated Lower Lake High School in 1983 and spent the next 16 years traveling the globe and working in whatever capacity the Marine Corps saw fit. In March of 2000, I was honorably discharged, having gained the rank of Gunnery Sergeant (E7) and decided to throw my hat into the Corporate America ring and see what could happen. Since then I've worked for a few different companies but always keep my eye on my writing.

Book preview

Survive and Thrive in Corporate America

During

The Zombie Apocalypse

Perry Hurtt

Published by Perry L. Hurtt at Smashwords

Copyright 2012 Perry Hurtt

Forward

I’d like to start by saying that this book was written on a whim – a whim that turned into quite an effort in terms of both time and research. I’m a devoted fan of self-improvement material so although the following pages harpoon some of the greats, rest assured I have nothing but the ultimate respect for every work that is abstractly referenced.  I own and have read every one of them more than once – this is something I’m quite passionate about but also something that I thought was ripe for a spoof given the current Zombie Apocalypse material that is floating around.

I’ve tried to weave some actual advice throughout this book as well, so although most is nonsense and meant to be nothing but entertainment, there is a great deal of actual advice to be found.

Additionally, you may detect some thinly veiled ire towards Corporate America.   I hope you enjoy it.

On becoming the best Zombie you can be

I’m going to make an assumption:  You know the Zombie Apocalypse is coming and you want to prepare.  You understand that once you become a Zombie, everything is a clean slate, so the better prepared you are to lead, the more chance you’ll be even more successful as a Zombie than you are now as a corporate employee.

There’s a very good chance that some of you, if caught up in Corporate America silliness, already feel like a zombie but we’re not talking about feeling like one – we’re talking about actual, real-life, serious, no shit Zombies.

The Center for Disease Control has done an adequate job of letting you know how to survive the Zombie Apocalypse (hereafter referred to as ZApoc), but they’ve stopped short of letting you know how to thrive and get ahead in the new Zombie populated world.  That’s where this book comes in.  Oh, and read fast because nobody is sure yet if Zombies can read, so if you get Zombiefied before you finish this book, you may lose out and we don’t offer refunds to Zombies…sorry.

First a little background on the Zombie thing itself.  If you’ve seen the movies, you know that being bitten, or, as some opinions would have you believe, just getting a little Zombie ooze in your eye, will turn you into a Zombie.  There is no cure, there’s no reversal, there’s no do-over.  Once you’ve been Zombiefied, you’re a Zombie for life, so to speak, so you might as well make the best of it.

It’s important to take note of and memorize the symptoms of Zombie-ness, so you can tell them apart from living folks.  For the most part, Zombies will present a messy, dirty and possibly smelly appearance, they normally won’t respond to any forms of communication, they have no concept of personal boundaries, and they seem to have a strong urge to eat the brains of the living. On second thought, that description probably doesn’t help as it could easily be mistaken