Scattered Brain

By K. A. Wyant

Trying to find your place in high school can be a challenging time in a young girl’s life, even more if you have a brain disorder.

After being diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome, Chloe deals with the difficulties of trying to fit in with the right friends. Wanting to please them she gets into some
situations leading to many disappointments.

Chloe doesn’t see the destructive path she’s made for herself or care about the consequences. With the end of the school year coming to a close, can Chloe change things in time to graduate high school with her classmates? Or has she destroyed any chance of getting her diploma on time?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Write Words Inc.
• Release date: May 15, 2013
• ISBN: 9781613861363

Book preview

Chapter 1

Chloe sat at her dining room table staring at the book in front of her. Why can’t I figure this out?

Chloe had struggled with schoolwork since the beginning of high school. She had trouble keeping her mind focused on homework. Her concentration span was limited and her mind easily wandered.

When reading, Chloe’s eyes jumped around the pages not being able to finish sentences. Even when she tried to read one word at a time, her brain processed things slowly or tricking her mind into seeing words that didn’t match what her eyes saw on the page. Everything was just a bunch of jumbled words on paper. Concentrating so hard sometimes made Chloe’s head hurt. It felt like someone clenched their hands on her head, squeezing hard, until her brain hurt.

Chloe often wondered if other kids had issues with their brain like she did. Her thought process didn’t always seem to make sense at times, even to her.

Chloe went back to her assignment. The pressure began to build up inside her head. She couldn’t think straight and became frustrated. I can’t do this, she cried.

Chloe, why are you yelling? Mom asked, as she entered the room.

Chloe looked up at her mom. This homework is stupid. No matter how many times I read it I don’t know how to figure it out. Nothing makes any sense.

What are you working on? Mom asked, taking a seat.

None of it. I quit. Chloe threw her pen on the table in frustration.

Chloe, don’t get smart with me. I just asked a question, Mom said.

I’m sorry, I just don’t get this. Why do I even have to know any of this stuff? How is this going to help me after I finish school? This is all just a waste of time. I’m never going to get this. I hate schoolwork. I hate school. I hate being so stupid, Chloe cried.

Are you finished? Mom asked.

Chloe saw a look on her mom’s face which said you’re old enough to know better that we don’t throw tantrums. She had seen this look many times before. It wasn’t as though Chloe tried to be difficult, but when she got frustrated she didn’t know how to control her feelings. Tension would build up when these episodes occurred. Mom had talked to Chloe about her outbursts before.

Chloe felt bad blowing up at her mom. She could feel the frustration building up but had nowhere to release it.

Chloe, I don’t like hearing you say you’re stupid, because you’re not. You’re a very smart girl, Mom said.

Then why can’t I understand this? There’s too much to remember. Even after I read it I still have no idea what I just read, Chloe said.

And you think throwing tantrums is going to help you? Mom asked.

Chloe shrugged lowering her eyes from her mom’s. Why couldn’t her mom get how hard this was for her?

What are you reading? Mom asked.

Chloe sighed heavily before speaking. We’re talking about the presidents in history. We have to write a report about one of them. I chose Abraham Lincoln, she answered.

Why don’t you try breaking it down? Read one or two paragraphs then pick out what you think is important. Write down in one or two sentences what stands out then move on to the next paragraph, Mom said.

Why can’t I just write what the book says? Chloe asked.

Because those wouldn’t be your words. Besides, once the teacher read it, they would know you copied it right from the book, Mom said.

Chloe sat slouched in the chair staring at the book in front of her. She wondered how her mom was able to come up with solutions so easily. When her mom tried to word things, they seemed to make some sense to Chloe, most of the time.

Sit up and wipe that frown off your face. Read this first paragraph to me then tell me if you think there’s any importance to it to start your report, Mom said.

Chloe rolled her eyes as she sat up and began to read. Once she finished she went back over the paragraph trying to find any significant parts.

Abraham Lincoln was our sixteenth president. He was born February 12, 1809 in Kentucky.

Good. Breaking it down that way makes it easier to understand, doesn’t it? Mom asked. Chloe shrugged but said nothing. Now do that with the rest of the article until you’ve finished. If you can’t figure anything out, make a note on your paper to come back to that after you’re done. Let me know if you need any help.

Mom got up from the table leaving the room as Chloe sat there thinking. She still didn’t understand how this was going to help her in the ‘real world.’ What good was it writing a history paper on something she would never use? Chloe moved on to the next paragraph and began to read.

Over the next hour, Chloe came up with almost a full page of notes to start her history report. Now she needed to write it out so it didn’t sound like a bunch of notes put on paper.

Chloe had done that in the past for written reports. Her teachers talked to her about making her reports sound as though they flowed. Words don’t flow. Water flows. How does that even make sense? Chloe wondered at the time.

Chloe wondered a lot the way people talked using words that had nothing to do with things, yet people talked like that all the time. She didn’t get that, becoming confused in their conversations. Her thoughts were interrupted.

How’s it going? Mom asked, on her way into the kitchen.

Chloe shrugged. Okay, I guess. She got up, taking the start of her report, following her mom into the kitchen.

After Mom read it she said, This is a good start, Chloe. Good job.

Chloe smiled slightly then went back to the table and continued working on her report until dinner was ready.

* * *

So, Chloe, your mom told me you’re working on a report about Abraham Lincoln, Dad said, after dinner.

Chloe nodded.

How’s it coming along? Dad asked.

Slowly. I don’t know why I have to write about something that happened over a hundred years ago. That’s not going to have any impact on me after I graduate, Chloe said.

It’s an important part of history. It’s amazing to look back and see how things have changed over time. Life has had many changes since Abraham Lincoln was growing up, Dad said.

I bet he never had to write a report on someone two hundred years before his time. I don’t even know if he had to go to school, Chloe said.

Everyone has to go to school otherwise they wouldn’t know how to read or write. Although back then some kids only went to school up to a certain grade then worked at home on the farms. Some people even self-educated themselves because they couldn’t or weren’t able to go to school. Abraham Lincoln might have been one of them, Chloe’s sister, Nicole, chimed in.

Chloe rolled her eyes. Nicole was always throwing out her thoughts and ideas whenever Chloe talked about something she was working on at school. It bothered Chloe when her parents brought things up while her sister was around. Nicole could never keep quiet and would always add her opinion to the conversation.

Here we go again, Chloe said.

Chloe, that’s not necessary, Mom said.

Well, why does Nicole always have to butt in when I talk about school? She thinks she knows everything and has to rub in how smart she is and say how I’m so stupid, Chloe said.

I never said you were stupid, Chloe. I was just making conversation, Nicole said.

No, you weren’t. You were doing what you always do when something comes up about what I’m working on for one of my classes. I don’t want to hear what your encyclopedia brain has to offer, Chloe said.

Chloe, there’s no reason you need to start fighting with your sister. You’re turning this into something more than it really is. I’m sure Nicole didn’t mean anything by that, Dad said.

Well, she doesn’t need to prove she’s a know it all. She always gets straight A’s and never even has to study. But when it comes to me I have trouble just to get passing grades. I just want her to keep her mouth shut, Chloe said.

Everyone became quiet staring at Chloe. Chloe felt uncomfortable. She hated the feeling of making things awkward with her family. But sometimes she needed to get her point across and didn’t know how else to make them understand how she felt.

Chloe, what did I say? I’m giving you a warning. You need to stop this right now, Dad said.

Chloe felt tears forming. Then she needs to stay out of my business. I’m sick of her, she said.

Chloe, Dad said, in a stern voice.

Chloe saw the angry look on her father’s face. You don’t need to bother sending me to my room. I’ll do it myself.

Chloe got up from the table and stormed off to her room. She didn’t understand why she was getting in trouble. Everything she had said was true. Why did it feel as though everyone was making her feel like she had done something wrong?

Chloe lay on her bed. Her brain felt heavy. Why couldn’t she understand things better? Why wasn’t she as smart as Nicole? Chloe had so many things running circles through her mind. It was like she had a traffic jam in her head continuing to fill up with cars. The road was getting clogged just like her brain.

Trying to clear her mind, Chloe gathered some stuffed animals from one of her shelves setting them on the floor.

Chloe loved stuffed animals, having almost every kind of animal in her collection. Her walls were filled with shelves of over a hundred of them, grouped in what type of animal they were. She liked playing games and making up stories with the animals.

Mom asked Chloe one time if she hadn’t grown out of the animals by now. Chloe told her mom no matter how old she was she would never grow out of them. Those animals were like a family to her, even though they weren’t real. She had her make-believe family made up of her stuffed animals and her real family, which included her parents and sister.

Chloe sometimes wished she could be one of the animals feeling like they were friends to her.

The animals were never mean to her or thought she was stupid. They never made her write history reports and school was never a topic brought up in their make-believe world. Chloe felt she could fit into their world much better than her own where nothing went wrong and no one got angry. She wished it could have been true. It would have been a better world than the one she lived in.

Chapter 2

Chloe sat at her desk staring at the worksheet in front of her. She was working on a math paper. Sometimes she could look at a problem and the answer would just pop into her head. Other times she would sit staring at it and her brain would just freeze.

Chloe picked out the math problems she could solve. Now she had to show how she came up with the answer. Chloe didn’t understand why she had to write everything out, step by step, when she already knew the answer. It was a waste of time. Sometimes, even though she knew the answer, she couldn’t come up with an explanation so she left those blank. Once she finished Chloe went up to her teacher for help.

Mrs. Simmons, I need some help. Chloe put the paper on the teacher’s desk.

What seems to be the problem? Mrs. Simmons asked.

I’m stuck. I don’t understand how to show the steps, Chloe said, pointing to the math problem she was working on.

Mrs. Simmons glanced at the paper noticing several blank spaces. What about the rest of these? she asked.

I’ve already finished those, Chloe said.

All I see is an answer. I don’t see any of your work written out, Mrs. Simmons said.

I already figured those out in my head, but I don’t understand these other ones, Chloe said.

You can’t just answer the math problem. I need you to write out all of your work step by step, to show the process, not just the answer. This seems to be a habit with you, Chloe. You take too many shortcuts. The worksheets you’ve turned in, along with your tests, have only been partly completed, Mrs. Simmons said.

Chloe knew she had a history of turning in uncompleted work. When she would get stuck on something and couldn’t figure it out she would leave it blank.

I don’t always know how to explain the answer, Chloe said.

Well, I need you to try, so I know that you understand the problem, Mrs. Simmons said.

Why? If I already know the answer I shouldn’t have to write it out, Chloe said.

It’s part of the assignment, Mrs. Simmons said.

It doesn’t make sense why I should have to explain how I came up with an answer. Sometimes I just look at the problem and the answer comes to me. You’re the one who grades the papers. If I have the right answer I shouldn’t have to write everything out, Chloe said.

Mrs. Simmons leaned forward. There’s no reason for you to get smart with me, Chloe.

I wasn’t. I was just stating the obvious. You’re the teacher so you already know this. You would know if my answer was right. I wasn’t being rude, Chloe said.

I think you need to watch your tone, because the way you just came across sounded exactly like you were trying to be confrontational, Mrs. Simmons said.

But I’m not, Chloe insisted. She could see a look of disappointment on her teacher’s face. Chloe didn’t understand why Mrs. Simmons’ attitude had changed so quickly.

It’s part of the assignment to show the steps. It counts for part of your grade. If you don’t write your answers out, I have to grade you lower because of it. Not only that, I need to know you understand and can do the work. I believe you can do the work, Chloe, you just need to put a little more effort into it, Mrs. Simmons said.

Chloe was becoming frustrated. Why couldn’t her teacher just help her with the problem, instead of turning the conversation into whatever she forgot to show?

I do try but I get stuck, Chloe said.

What is it you get stuck on? Mrs. Simmons asked.

Everything, Chloe said.

Chloe, that’s not an answer. I need you to be more specific if you want my help, Mrs. Simmons said.

I know in my head what I mean, but I don’t know how to explain it to you, Chloe said.

A look of disappointment crossed Mrs. Simmons’ face. Chloe, you’re a smart girl, but I don’t think you put in all the effort you can. I think you’re using this idea of getting stuck as an excuse, she said.

Chloe was frustrated with Mrs. Simmons. What was the point of trying to talk to her teacher if she wasn’t going to listen? Chloe wasn’t in the mood to explain how difficult this was for her. Mrs. Simmons didn’t seem to believe her, so she didn’t figure there was any point in continuing the conversation. Chloe went back to her seat without saying a word. Glancing up at the clock, she noticed there was still twenty minutes of class left.

Chloe felt this burning sensation inside of her wanting to explode. She was hurt and angry and didn’t know how to deal with it. Chloe wanted to scream out to Mrs. Simmons, telling her that she was doing the best she could. Maybe then her teacher would listen and realize she was telling the truth.

The ringing of the bell brought Chloe out of her thoughts. She hadn’t finished her paper so would have to do it for homework that night. Shoving the paper into her backpack she quickly left class, pushing past the kids in the hall making her way to her locker.

Hey, watch where you’re going, a boy said, who Chloe ran into.

Chloe began to feel pressure inside her head and could feel the anger growing inside her body. Her hands were shaking, but she just mumbled sorry to him and continued on her way.

Still furious, Chloe reached her locker without any other incidents. After gathering her books for the next class, she slammed her locker as several kids nearby looked her way.

What’s going on with you? someone asked.

Chloe looked up and saw a group of kids staring at her. Nothing! Just leave me alone.

Chloe saw a girl she knew step back. Her expression changed from concern to hurt and suddenly Chloe felt sick inside. Even though Chloe was still angry it bothered her she just upset this girl. Just because she was upset with her teacher didn’t mean she had to take her anger out on someone else. She looked at the girl and tried to smile.

I didn’t mean to snap at you. It’s better if you don’t talk to me right now, because I’m not in a very good mood, Chloe said.

The girl just turned away as Chloe headed off to her next class.

Chloe walked into class just after the bell rang. She was still burning up inside because of what had happened in math class.

Nice to see you made it to class, Miss Davis, Mr. Parker, her history teacher, said.

All eyes were on Chloe.

Chloe’s face felt warm. I’m sorry I’m late, she said.

Mr. Parker nodded. Take your seat, he said.

Chloe tried to ignore the kids staring at her as she sat down.

I hope you all studied for your test. Clear your desks and I’ll hand out your test papers, Mr. Parker said.

Chloe took a test before handing the rest to the kid behind her.

Once you’ve finished with your test you may bring it up to my desk and do some free reading until class is over. You may begin, Mr. Parker said, then returned to his desk.

Chloe looked over the test before starting. She tried to get control of her feelings, cleared her mind of the anger, and began the test.

Chapter 3

Chloe sat in the back of the room in science class. She liked that, because she could draw or daydream without the teacher noticing. Chloe liked this class, but hated when the teacher did lectures. She would rather do lab experiments than listen to the teacher talk about the day’s lecture. Today they were going over the periodic table.

Chloe thought it was interesting having all these different chemicals made up of three letters and numbers. It was a clever way of writing them instead of spelling out the whole word, but she had trouble memorizing them.

During the lectures Chloe fidgeted and had trouble sitting still. She tried to take notes, but after a while got bored. She was easily distracted and would start drawing.

Chloe liked to draw but she wasn’t very good. She would start drawing on her book covers which were covered with drawings she had been working on. She was running out of room so made a note to put a new paper cover over the books so she could make more pictures. Chloe was lost in one of her daydreams while drawing, when suddenly she realized the room had become very quiet. She looked up and saw several kids nearby staring at her as Chloe’s gaze reached her teacher. He was looking right at her.

Chloe, are you with us today? Mr. Patterson asked.

Chloe nodded.

Then come up and fill in the next group of elements on the chart please, Mr. Patterson said.

Chloe’s heart started beating fast. She felt her face becoming warm and her stomach getting tied in knots. She hated going in front of the class. It