The Journey of Love and Healing

By Dan Boudreau

When Clarence and Olga Boudreau left Prince George to return to their home in Penny on December 27, 2011, they couldn’t have known how radically a head-on motor vehicle collision would change their lives. This book is a compilation of communications that reveals how miracles arise when individual resolve is matched with love and support from family and friends. It’s a true story of late-life transformation and the power of love in the healing process.

The first miracle of that cataclysmic day was that both victims lived long enough to get to the hospital, where a throng of family and friends had already begun to gather. The second blessing was that they lived through the day, though it was impossible to tell if they would survive or for how long. The Boudreau’s didn’t know then that they would practically live at the hospital for the following few months.

Shortly after the accident, it became obvious that the Boudreau family had a communications nightmare on their hands. With Clarence and Olga on life support in the Intensive Care Unit, the waiting room was crammed with family and friends. Amid the symphony of ringtones was an explosion of people texting and talking on their cell phones, spreading the word to all the concerned folks who couldn’t be there. It was like a WIFI version of the moccasin telegraph, on steroids.

Adding fuel to the communications beehive was the rumour mill. From the start it was difficult to get accurate information without going directly to the nurses and doctors. Even the stories that started out in reality were quickly blown into a state of fantasy as they were told, texted and re-tweeted person to person to person. While the accuracy suffered, the family’s relationship with the nurses was becoming strained as more and more people attempted to get information.

With family and friends stepping up to take on different tasks, eldest son and author Dan Boudreau began sending out regular email updates to keep all interested parties informed. Dan sent the first message on December 29, 2011 to a handful of concerned people who then circulated the message to their friends. Within a very short time the mail list grew to more than 130 contacts.

For Clarence and Olga the auto accident triggered a chain of events that culminated in them leaving their life-long home in Penny and moving into Prince George to set up residence closer to family and the amenities. Though it hasn’t been an easy transition for them, the gut-wrenching business of leaving Penny has been trumped by the miracle of both parents surviving the ordeal. Although they may never return to pre-accident condition, both have recuperated to the point that they can continue their journey while enjoying a reasonable quality of life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Dan Boudreau
• Release date: Feb 17, 2013
• ISBN: 9780973066661

Dan Boudreau

Dan Boudreau has devoted the last 20 years to coaching and mentoring regular people into the captivating world of entrepreneurship. He authors and leads lively, transformative workshops for business owners, entrepreneurs, and leaders. Launching into his first venture in 1979 with no background in business, he has embraced and survived the wide spectrum of business ownership, from single owner home-based enterprises to ventures employing dozens of workers. Armed with the business planning process as a teaching tool, he empowers ordinary men and women to create the financial stability and lifestyle they dream of. He is proudest of being acknowledged and appreciated by peers and friends for his ability to bring ideas to fruition with a nod towards his warm, personable style. In 2006, Dan bundled his knowledge and bruises into his first book, Business Plan or BUST. In writing the book, he combined his practical experience as a business owner with his expertise as a lender for an economic development agency, and tossed in his unique brand of wit. Dan’s fresh perspective and practical style led to seven years as a business columnist for a local newspaper. When Dan takes time out from business and writing, you will find him crammed into a floating toothpaste tube sometimes referred to as a kayak (occasionally right side up), or coaxing disturbing sounds from his guitar. From bungled attempts to outsmart fish in the rivers of northern British Columbia to flopping around in the waves or practicing applied inertia on tropical beaches, his leisure time usually incorporates fresh air, clean water, and sandy beaches. Dan lives in Prince George with his wife Britta.

Book preview

Introduction

Our lives changed dramatically on December 27, 2011. I’ll never forget Jen’s distraught phone call or the frantic ride down to the hospital. All we knew for certain was that Mom and Dad were in a head-on collision, both in bad shape and being transported to the hospital in separate ambulances. Separate ambulances!

From the moment we arrived at the hospital, our lives and energies were completely focused on Mom and Dad. The first miracle of that cataclysmic day was that both parents lived long enough to get to the hospital, where a throng of family and friends had already begun to gather. The second blessing was that they lived through the day, though it was impossible to tell if they would survive or for how long. We didn’t know then that we would practically live at the hospital for the following few months, but in retrospect, it was the best outcome, because both parents have survived and are now able to enjoy relatively normal lives (with the exception of Dad’s jokes of course), together, as they have done for more than 60 years.

Throughout this publication you will find that many of the messages are addressed to me. I must point out that this is only because I was the one sending out the updates and therefore received the landslide of communications that came back to us. In no way was my role more important than the efforts of the many family members and friends who devoted time and energy to supporting Mom and Dad, including those who supported those of us who were directly involved. I have never been at the epicentre of such a generous outpouring of love, graciousness, and selflessness.

Shortly after the accident, it became obvious that we had a communications nightmare on our hands. With Mom and Dad on life support in the Intensive Care Unit, the waiting room was crammed with family and friends. Amid the symphony of ringtones I could see an explosion of people texting and talking on their cell phones, spreading the word to all the friends and family that couldn’t be there. It was like a WIFI version of the moccasin telegraph, on steroids.

Adding fuel to the communications beehive was the rumour mill. From the start I found it difficult to get accurate information without going directly to the nurses and doctors. Even the stories that started out in reality were quickly blown into a state of fantasy as they were told, texted and re-tweeted person to person to person. While the accuracy suffered, our relationship with the nurses was becoming strained as more and more people attempted to get information.

With family and friends stepping up to take on different tasks, I decided that I could best contribute by putting out regular updates to keep all interested parties informed, locals and those from afar. On December 29, 2011, I sent out the first update to a handful of concerned folks, who circulated the message to their networks of friends. Within a very short time the mail list grew to just over 130 contacts. There is no way to know how many people eventually received the updates, but when you include those who had the messages forwarded to them by those on our list, it’s fair to say that our parents have touched the lives of many people, and that they have a truly impressive number of friends.

Grammarians beware! In this compilation of emails and Facebook updates, grammar took a rollicking good mugging. Syntax is the first casualty of this age of Internet slang, 140 character digital communications, and emoticons. Collectively, we invest much less time crafting grammatically perfect messages, frequently resorting to missing punctuation, misspelled words, incomplete sentences, lots of dots, and a smattering of smiley faces. We have taken the liberty of correcting as much as we dared, while maintaining the integrity of the original communications. The writers of the messages found herein could not have known I would cobble them together into this ebook; I didn’t imagine it myself until December 27, 2012. Had any of us realized we’d be publishing this book at this time, we all would have put more time into crafting our messages and Mom and Dad would have withered away from neglect. Any glitches you find in the following pages are the result of busy people with big hearts and pristine priorities. We thank you for your patience in these matters and welcome any feedback you wish to share.

I hope this book inspires you to give the special people in your life a big hug and tell them how much they mean to you. It’s such an enormous privilege to be able to do so, too often overlooked until it’s too late.

Prince George Citizen: Article by Arthur Williams

Reprinted with permission of Prince George Citizen

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Four people were injured following on a head-on collision on Highway 16 approximately 10 kilometres east of Prince George.

At approximately 11:30 a.m., a westbound pickup truck lost control, crossed the centre line and crashed head-on into an SUV, Prince George RCMP spokesperson Cpl. Craig Douglass said. The crash occurred on Highway 16 between the intersections of Tabor Lake Road East and Giscome Road.

Four people were injured in total, Douglass said. All are believed to be relatively minor injuries. One [person] took a while to be extracted from a vehicle, which was hanging over an embankment.

Three people were taken to hospital immediately, Douglass said, and the driver of the pickup truck was taken to hospital after being extracted from the truck. No other people were in the vehicles at the time of the collision.

Highway 16 was reopened to traffic by 1 p.m. on Tuesday.

Taking Stock

Update 1: December 29-11 10:10 PM

Hi All

Here's an update on Mom and Dad. As most of you will know, they were involved in a head-on collision on Highway 16 near the Upper Fraser turnoff on December 27th just before noon. Seat belts and airbags did their job and kept both alive, but both have suffered a number of injuries, both are in critical but relatively stable and improving condition in the ICU at PG Regional Hospital.

Mom - has fractured vertebrae in her neck, which is stabilized by a neck brace at this point. The surgeon is not planning to operate on the neck injury at this point and it seems it should heal with the neck brace over time. She has several broken ribs, I think mostly on her left side. This affects the stability of the entire left chest cavity. Medical staff is not planning to operate on the ribs at this time, as apparently ribs heal themselves without surgery - this will likely take several weeks, probably 6 or 8 or more due to Mom's age. She also has a broken knee, two fingers with compound fractures and a broken wrist on the other hand (the one that she just healed up from a fall a few months ago). Mom's heart rate and blood pressure are fairly stable and the surgeon expects to operate this evening (we think) on the fingers, wrist and knee. It's important to know that Mom is sedated and responds when spoken to - no head injuries, which is important. She is on a ventilator, has a catheter, and although her kidney (only has 1) was shut down the night before last, it's back up and working and she's able to pee now.

Dad - also sedated and responds when spoken to. Nods head for yes and shakes head for no. He has a couple broken ribs. Is quite swollen right now - I believe this is partially from the trauma from the impact and partially from the liquids they are putting into him intravenously. He has a bit of a fever, which they have been treating with ice packs and lower room temperature. He had a collapsed lung and wasn't able to breath when they brought him in by ambulance. He also has a compressed vertebra in the lumbar region (lower back). No surgery is planned for Dad at this time.

The overall strategy at this time is to wean Mom and Dad off the medications and ventilators. Some reduction in the level of medication was achieved from yesterday to today. Both are improved over yesterday, but have a long road ahead. Each small increment of success, in this situation, is a big step forward. Perhaps the biggest challenge is the folk's ages, but both are displaying a strong will to live.

Several members of the family have been at the hospital over the past two days. With everyone's help, we have family members with Mom and Dad around the clock. Equally and perhaps even more important, the ICU medical staff are amazing, with designated nursing staff camped right at the doors to both rooms 24/7.

Please feel free to pass this message on to those who know Mom and Dad. Your kind thoughts and prayers are truly appreciated and helpful. If you have any questions, please feel free to call me at 250-612-9161.

Sincerely, Dan

**Love and Support**

Richard Duval

Thanks for this thorough update Dan. At the right time, please extend my affection to your parents. Richard

Deborah Lloyd

Love and prayers to you and all of your precious family. I am truly heartbroken over this!! I love them both dearly. Take care, dear brother! Love from both of us!

Keith Westfall

I am so thankful that both your Mom & Dad are getting better each day. Jody has been great in keeping me updated (which I appreciate so much!) and I want you to know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and for them, in these trying times. Our prayers are for the doctors to have clear minds and steady hands as they work to deal with their injuries.

If possible, please tell them that I'm thinking of them hoping for a speedy recovery. Keith

Stacey Herlehy

Praying for your family and letting you know you can count on me for anything at the drop of a hat. No matter how small or big, if I can do anything that will help, you know that you can trust me. Take care of yourselves, you're in my thoughts. No pleasantry or acknowledgement needed, just know I’m on standby.

Mandy Newcomb

Sorry to hear about your mom and dad. We are sending well wishes. Please give them a hug or blow them a kiss....hug might be out of the question right now. Mom said that the hospital is quite busy now but please message me if I can pop up later tonight or tomorrow. I will wait for your response as I don't want to overwhelm them with visitors. Also, you can let them know that Jenna will go over this afternoon and as much as necessary to check on the warmth of the house and empty or deal with the fridge. She also sends well wishes. I don't always have the computer on so you can just message my cell or leave a message on the land line.

Sending hugs to you all, Mandy and Family

Helen Leckie

Firstly Jen ... Love and healing prayers sent to your parents.

If there is anything I can do to help, let me know and I'll do my best!!!

Hugs. Just ME

Baby Steps

Update 2: December-30-11 9:13 PM

Happy December 30th

Hey All… today this Update email list has grown from a few who received yesterday's message to more than 40.

Although most of the folks hanging out in the ICU waiting room have bags under their eyes, today has been pretty much good news so far, with both Mom and Dad improving in baby steps.

Mom - generally moved forward today. She was moved to the operating room around 3:00pm today, underwent surgery on her broken fingers, her wrist and her knee - she was moved back into ICU sometime around 7:00pm. They used a general anaesthetic, and currently she's not on any other kind of medication. Her blood pressure and heart rate are reasonably stable and she's resting peacefully, sporting casts on each hand/wrist and a knee brace. I guess we can feel good about her progress today, we worried about the impact the surgery might have on her, but she appears to have navigated that just fine. Now, just a lot of healing to do, including a whole mess of broken ribs.

Dad - improved a good deal today. He's trying to talk a lot but of course is still not able to because of the tubes in his mouth and throat. Medical staff took him off the respirator for about an hour today - this is the start of weaning him off the respirator. He will have an extra challenge getting off the respirator because of his