How to Make a Girl Come

By Carlin Ross

As editor-in-chief of D&R.com, we answer 10-20 sex questions from the web every day. What became clear is that most men want to please women sexually but they don't know how.
I decided to write this book and cover the basics while sharing some of my personal experiences. This is the manual on how to pleasure a woman the way I like to be pleasured.

Sex is a skill...a skill that must be learned.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Betty A Dodson Foundation Inc.
• Release date: Jan 30, 2013
• ISBN: 9781467564557

Carlin Ross

Everyone wants to know how I met Betty - I interviewed Betty 8 years ago and less than half way through the interview she looked me dead in the eye, reached her hand across the table, and said, "we're going into business together. Shake on it". I didn't hesitate for a moment, grabbed her hand, and "shook on it". I knew we would work because that's exactly how I would have handled it. Then throw in my commitment to feminist ideals and we were are a perfect match. The women in my family were suffragettes. My great aunt was one of the first female physicians in New York (when she signed on to a hospital in 1898 nineteen male doctors resigned on the spot). They fought for the right to vote and my grandfather was featured in Gerber baby food ads because "suffragettes feed their babies Gerber". I grew up in a Christian Fundamentalist home (I know from feminism to the Moral Majority). My father was a minister and I was taught at home. There was no radio, television, and no sex before marriage. My personal experience taught me that sexual repression is used to control and manipulate others. Betty and I believe that the next phase of feminism is sexual liberation because without sexual freedom there can be no self. We are visually stimulated...we are sexual creatures...and we deserve pleasure.

Book preview

How to Make a Girl Come

Carlin Ross, J.D.

Copyright 2013 Carlin Ross, J.D.

Smashwords Edition

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever including Internet usage, without written permission of the author.

This book is dedicated to Betty Dodson – my business partner, mentor, confidante, and best friend. Without her, I would never have become the woman I was destined to be…

And I also thank all of the wonderful lovers I’ve met along the way for each taught me something new and each left their imprint on my life.

Contents

Introduction

Chapter 1 The Slut Stigma

Chapter 2 The Importance of Touch & The Pussy Test

Chapter 3 Eating Pussy

Chapter 4 Sex Toys

Chapter 5 All Things Penis

Chapter 6 The Cock in the Hole

Chapter 7 Safe Play

Chapter 8 Advanced Skills

Conclusion

Introduction

I’ve always known that men want to give women pleasure. They just don’t know how. Our bodies are complicated…our minds are complicated…and our sex organ is even more complicated.

Sex is an equal act between equal people. I know…I titled my book How to Make a Girl Come but that’s because it’s the top search phrase people use to find D&R. Sorry for being a shameless educator.

What I’m trying to say is that partner sex is about sharing orgasms not making her come. This is where we need to start if we want to be good lovers.

I will teach you how to support a woman’s orgasm – you’ll learn how to stimulate a woman’s body, what are the best sex products to buy, how to deal with common complaints, the importance of foreplay, how to eat pussy, everything you need to know about your penis, how to be safe and some other advanced skills.

This is the manual on how to fuck me the way I like to be fucked (and the way other women like to be fucked). I’ve had a lot of sex in my life – had my first threesome in my teens, bisexual sex, group sex, affair sex, and just about every other type of sex you can have in life. Some people are sex voyagers and I fall under that category. After reading the same sex questions from men on D&R day after day, I decided to pen this book and share my information including my triumphs, failures and pet peeves.

And let me add that I love men and I don’t blame you for any of the bad sex I’ve experienced. Sex is a skill….a skill that must be learned. Let’s start the journey together.

Chapter 1

The Slut Stigma

The ultimate turn off is a man who doesn’t appreciate a sexual woman. You’ve been conditioned to think that any woman who initiates sex or enjoys her body is the other kind of woman. It’s the fabled Madonna – whore complex. You fuck whores and marry a Madonna.

When it comes to sex, you want us to say no…you want to cajole and chase us before we submit. This thinking has created the rape culture we live in because all good girls say no…at first. If we accepted women as sexual beings, we would accept that no meant no and yes meant yes. The line would be clear.

I’ve had two long-term relationships where my partner shared they’d never marry me because I was too sexual. Yet they loved me…I could see it in their eyes. They couldn’t reconcile the culturally proscribed desire to own me with my sexual agency. I’d even agreed to be monogamous but that wasn’t enough. I still had to be punished for my wanton ways. In the end, they punished themselves.

This all boils down to sexual repression. If all women are virgins, then who are men having sex with? Women want sex just as much as men. We get aroused in the same time frame you do – about 10 minutes. The only difference is that we need about 30-60 minutes of stimulation to orgasm. The national average of penis/vagina penetration before ejaculation is about 3-4 minutes. Therein lies the great impasse between male and female satisfaction. More on this later.

Letting go of the sexual double standard (men can fuck but women must be virgins) may be your greatest challenge. It can be as simple as not asking questions you have no right to ask:

Men have questioned why I stimulate my clitoris during intercourse(because that’s how I get off). Men have questioned if I always have sex on the first date (no, but it felt right). Men have questioned if I’ve been tested (yes, but shouldn’t you have asked me that before we had sex).

Ultimately, if you want to have great sex you’re going to have to create a new ideal for your sex partners. I was raised in a Christian fundamentalist home – taught at home and raised to believe that if I had premarital sex I’d go to hell. It took some time but I was able to change the way I perceived sexual expression.

When I caught myself judging someone or feeling