How to Love Commuting

By M. G. Clementine

How to love commuting is a tongue-in-cheek look at the funnier side of the journey we all love to hate.

We all have to move from A to B. That's life, right? For those of you for whom A is your bedroom, and B is a poolside sunlounger, I am indeed very happy for you. Sincerely, I am. The rest of us, for whom the daily journey involves some sort of public transportation, would no doubt agree, that we often spend this time pretending that we are not in transport. Whether we’re plugged into our I-pod, focussing our attention on reading material, or simply dozing off to dream about other things altogether, the A is where we've been, the B is where we need to be next, and the interim is simply a banal in-between phase.

This humorous travel companion takes a look at the funnier and potentially entertaining side of commuting. This perspective may make that journey we all love to hate slightly more amusing. If anything in this book makes you smile, and brings back your own humorous anecdotes to mind, then I have succeeded.

However, if it's your sunlounger journey that's getting you down, this may not be the book for you!

• Language: English
• Publisher: M. G. Clementine
• Release date: Nov 15, 2012
• ISBN: 9781301682188

M. G. Clementine

M. G. Clementine's work is a reflection of a keen eye kept on the world around, calling on themes that can be appreciated by all, delivered with wit and a touch of playful cynicism. M. G. Clementine lives and works in London.

Book preview

How to LOVE commuting

M. G. Clementine

Copyright 2012 by M. G. Clementine

Front Cover by Georgina McIntyre

Smashwords Edition

CONTENTS

1. SPEEDWALK

2. BOTH SIDES OF THE ESCALATOR (PLEASE)

3. OH BELOVED SEAT

4. FLYING

5. LOUD MOBILE PHONE CONVERSATIONS

6. TROUBLE AT THE TOP

7. SERVICE (REGULATING AND GOOD)

8. RUNNING FOR THE BUS

9. MAKE-OVER TIME

10. COLLISION COURSE

11. FAMILY REUNIONS

12. SECRET DICTATOR

13. SHARING IS NICE

14. NOVELTY COMMUTERS

15. GREEN MAN DODGE

16. MOUNTAINEERING

17. T.G.W.E.T.T.A.S.A.L.O.H.D

18. VOLUNTARY SHAME

19. PEOPLE IN PUBLIC

20. SPOT THE DOG

21. LANGUAGE SCHOOL

22. KEEP IT TO YOURSELF

23. DRIVING MAD

24. TACTICAL DODGING

25. TRAIN RACE

26. WRITING ON TRANSPORT

THANK YOU FOR TRAVELLING WITH US

1. SPEEDWALK

We've all been there. You’ve left home with exactly (no more, no less) the minimum time required to make the appointment. To be on time, only a personal best will do. Speed-walking down the road like an Olympic competitor. And happily, yes, we might just make it there on time. But wait. What do we have here?

OK - so not everyone is running (or speed-walking) to the same tight schedule as I am. But could you move any more SLOW - LY? My mind screams out these words, but I fear the answer is ‘yes’ so won't express it verbally. Seriously, though, if someone is fortunate enough to have the luxury of engaging in slow-walking during rush hour, let it be known to them that they are in the minority, and therefore, they should...I don't know, pull over to the slow lane (?)

Time is passing quickly and all previous efforts to be speedy may now prove to be in vain. So