He Did What??!!?!

By Michael Leggero

Mike Leggero is one of the most interesting people around. His adventures impact people all over the planet. This book is a collection of short stories that will make you laugh, and shake your head in disbelief all at the same time.
Warning, some things in this book will offend people, some will be accused of being untrue. Every story is true however and they detail the life of someone that just enjoys living
From childhood all the way to present day everyone has stories, some people just have better ones than others.
Part storytelling, part self help, and part opinion on life, from cover to cover you can't help but smile and wonder.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Michael Leggero
• Release date: Feb 26, 2013
• ISBN: 9781301144860

Michael Leggero

Lucky for you i wrote a book all about my life and my adventures, go read the book and find out all about me. Enjoy!

Book preview

He Did What??!!?!

Michael Leggero

Published by Michael Leggero at Smashwords

Copyright 2013 Michael Marshall

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Table Of Contents

Preface

Chapter 1 Off Road Driving

Chapter 2 Disney World

Chapter 3 Heavy Equipment

Chapter 4 Antarctica

Chapter 5 Chile

Chapter 6 Tattooing

Chapter 7 Hunting

Chapter 8 Hoaxes

Chapter 9 Alaska

Chapter 10 Childhood

Chapter 11 Popularity

Chapter 12 Drunk Driving

Chapter 13 The Army

Chapter 14 Family

Chapter 15 Immortality, Death, and Dying

Chapter 16 Iceland

Chapter 17 Hawaii

Chapter 18 Death Valley

Chapter 19 Cruising

Chapter 20 The Amazon

Chapter 21 Airlines and Air Travel

Chapter 22 Farming

Chapter 23 Tolkien

Chapter 24 Above and Below

Chapter 25 Listen to Others

Chapter 26 Jobs

Chapter 27 Men vs. Women

Chapter 28 Old Age

Chapter 29 Life

Preface

Warning, right in the beginning here, it is possible something in this book will offend you. Living a whole life without offending someone is impossible.  If you have done that then you are a better person than I am and I’m proud to have someone that perfect reading my book and I’d love to meet you, 100% honest.  I want you to look on this book with humor in your heart.  Some parts will amaze you; some will make you laugh and some you probably won't believe.  All that I write is true and I’ve left out names and places on many things to preserve the privacy and mystery of those who would get grumpy if I named them.  

I’ve been told that I have one of the most interesting lives around.  People tell me my stories are legendary and amazing.  Who knows, maybe they are.

I live my life with the simple theory that I want to see and experience as much as possible in my short time here.  And the way I experience things it probably won't be much longer anyhow. I’ll probably be found at the bottom of a 1000foot gorge or stuck under a boulder or something.  However it happens, hopefully it won't be too painful.

As I look back, I suppose my adventures started at an early age.  I was blessed with living in the country, away from the business of large towns or cities.  I had one younger sister and we got along well but never really shared the same interests.  

Most of my early memories come from adolescence and before that I can't remember much. Probably from getting hit in the head by a car has something to do with that.  So for the sake of the story lets say that my experiences best evolved from the age of 12 or so onward.  I played a lot of role-playing games and they really expanded my imagination.  I think that imagination is the cornerstone to leading a great life.  If you are just plodding along day after day then you will never truly experience everything that this planet has to offer. And your short life gets a lot shorter since these frail human bodies can only be active for a limited amount of time.

Imagination really unlocks the opportunities that are before me.  I have always wondered what is over the next hill, and how many people get to see it.  Who knows, over the next hill could be a hidden alien civilization, an entrance to an abandoned mine, a new species of animal, or simply a new friend.   Not knowing what comes next is the greatest mystery and experience and I truly believe that taking that next step allows you to go out and experience life in a way that few people ever can or will.

I have a lot of crazy beliefs and I think that gives me a very open mind to new things.  I want to see new cultures and ideas and like everyone else in this world I judge these cultures and people.  Anyone that tells you that they don't judge others is a liar. Now, while Ido judge them I really love seeing them and I try to live right along with them and do things that are traditional to their ways.  For example, when I was in Africa, everyone carries things on their heads.  I made the attempt to balance stuff on my head and carry it with them down the trails.  Even though I failed miserably and all the locals laughed at me it was a great experience and brought me closer to them as a friend.  The first time I went to Cozumel, Mexico I tried to speak Spanish, I did ok but it was bad enough that the guy just said ok, you shut up now, we'll switch to English.  And the rest of the day we had a great many laughs at the tourists as we watched them buy souvenirs and worthless t-shirts.

Traveling with me is difficult.  I give a great deal of respect to those who can travel alongside me.  I don't like to go see tourist sites, I don't go on guided tours and I seldom eat on a regular basis.  I mix with the locals; I take chances with danger and probably break quite a few laws in the process (mostly trespassing.)

Trespassing can definitely get you into trouble, but it also gives you the best way to see things that you would never find otherwise.  As I drove through Mexico with my wife and another couple we came across a dirt road.  Of course I drove down it with my normal theory of what might be down here?  Well as I drove down the road the visual elements turned from starving cows and farmland to another type of crop.  Most people would be terrified to drive through cocaine and marijuana fields, but as I looked from side to side I thought, This is so neat! Unfortunately I wasn't paying attention to the looks of terror from my passengers. Eventually we came across a couple farmers and I waved hi and just told them hi, I’m Mike, I was just exploring this road I talked with them like they were normal people and if I didn’t' have to get the rental car back on time I probably would have had lunch with them or something."    They even gave me directions through their compound for a shortcut to get back to the main road!  Maybe it was stupid (and anytime I tell this story my wife tells me that it was) I just thought it was a cool day and despite driving up to the guys holding AK-47's I never really was afraid or worried.  I think they were happy to have someone to talk to on a hot boring day.  When it comes right down to it, no matter whom you meet, they are just people and every person likes the chance to meet others.  It could have ended a very different way but if you just treat everyone with kindness then usually you get kindness in return.... usually.

As you read the stories in this book you have to remember, I am not politically correct.  Many of the stories will probably offend someone somewhere.  To those people I say knock off your judgmental lives and take the pole out of your ass.  Just read the story and laugh at it.  If you can't laugh at the crude humor that happens everyday in life then I feel bad for you.  Sometimes it's ok to let go of what should be and just enjoy how things really are and laugh at them.  There is no particular order to these adventures and stories, I could probably make them chronological, but they don't really get crazier as I get older, they were crazy from day one.  

In the words of Mark Twain, and I paraphrase, this book is not meant to be analyzed as a way to change the world.  These are just my stories and I hope they entertain you and possibly motivate you to explore your life further and treat others better.  Hmmm, maybe that would be a way to change the world.....  Ok, go ahead and analyze it a bit, but please don't make kids sit in school being forced to read this and write reports on how did the author make you feel or did the author convey his true emotions of the event just enjoy the damn book and laugh at it.

A brief description of my years so you can maybe put some sense to a timeline.  I was raised from a small child in Western New York, outside of Buffalo in a small country town. My graduating class was around 180 people.  I attended college in Rhode Island for photography.  I started working part time jobs at the age of 16 and never really had anything I would call exceptional in any of them.  

I joined the army shortly after college and stayed in for two years until I was injured in a car accident and honorably discharged.  I settled in Northern New York where I began working as a tattoo artist and photographer full time for both career paths.  While attending more college and receiving several degrees I became married, and am continuing to raise wonderful children who will always be wonderful no matter how much they try my patience and cause me to lose my hair.

Chapter 1 Off Road Driving

Off road driving has always been fun for me. And logical as well.  How can anyone not have fun when they take a normal everyday jeep and modify it so you can put on tires that are almost four feet tall?  Now often you'll see people who use their 4x4 for what's commonly called muddin.  That's not my thing; I took it to a much more extreme level and pursued the rock crawling method.  Rock crawling is where you drive straight up mountains and boulders that mountain goats would go around instead of tackling themselves.  

My first four wheel drive vehicle was a Chevrolet Blazer, it was small, underpowered and always falling apart after every trip, but I still loved it. I got it out of the shop, It had new tires, was modified so it was higher off the ground, shiny new paint, and a big off road decal on the windshield, true redneck! I couldn’t wait to take it through some terrain, I climbed over rocks, drove around trees, and plowed through a swamp! Unfortunately my imagination of flying through the swamp conflicted with the truck wanting to sink. As the tow truck pulled it out with the winch the driver laughed, off road sticker. My next stop was the car wash where the high power water nozzle made short work of that sticker.

I soon found out that to tackle the extreme obstacles on the trails I drove, a larger stronger machine would be required. I had gone through several jeeps, two blazers, one