going full tilt

STAY UPRIGHT, PLEASE BY DEIRDRE FIDGE

Have you ever sat on a plane, preparing for take-off, while an advertisement for the airline plays on a screen in front of you? It’s always the same scene: a handsome pilot calmly beaming, muscles rippling under his suit while beautiful women offer similarly attractive passengers incredible-looking meals. It’s a wild juxtaposition to what you’re literally experiencing, which is more along the lines of a tired voice apologising for the delay while exasperated airline staff bark at a person in soiled tracksuit pants to fold up their tray table. And also… you’re the person in the soiled tracksuit pants.

Before I sway too far into ‘what’s the deal with aeroplane food’ territory, it’s not revolutionary to declare that