Behind My Smile: The Words I Never Said

By Kittie Kat

The poetry I wrote as I grew up. This was my medium for communication while I struggled to stay afloat in my own crazy life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Kittie Kat
• Release date: Sep 28, 2012
• ISBN: 9781301159451

Kittie Kat

I have used writing my entire life to express inner emotions as a way to communicate and to escape reality.

Book preview

170

Published by Jenna R. Katlik

Smashwords Edition

ePub ISBN: 9781301159451

Behind My Smile: The Words I Never Said

Copyright 2012 Jenna R. Katlik

All Rights Reserved.

Cover art by Jenna R. Katlik

This book is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual locales, persons, living or dead, or events is entirely fictional.

BROKEN HOME

Nowhere to go,

The broken home,

I'm lost in despair,

Can't begin to imagine,

The pain, the screaming,

There's no repair.

Distorted images are what I see,

Everywhere I go,

The violence seeps in,

Numbing every aspect,

Turning reverse of what I was,

There's nothing worth saving within.

I don't know why you're smiling,

But it looks pretty nice,

Yet it makes me so jealous of you,

I want that string of happiness,

I want to have what you have,

But we both haven't a clue.

I don't want to be here,

There's too much going on,

So much hate is what I feel,

I must've been awful,

To have karma give me these sins,

I'm losing track of what is real.

I'm in the walls of a broken home,

Help me, before I'm no more.

MY EVERYTHING

Look at me and love me,

And I'll hold onto you tight,

Don't leave me and I'll do the same,

For you are my white light.

You are my everything,

My Prince; my Savior; my True Love,

I'll hold on and you do the same,

Then we'll soar like a graceful dove.

We've both bled out pain,

Yet you've recaptured your prized joy,

Before I felt I had no reason to live,

Yet I found it in the innocence of a boy.

I can't believe I've found you,

After everything that's ever been,

Are you here to rescue me?

Will you always be my friend?

Thank you for being there,

Thank you for not letting me cry,

Thank you for everything,

To us I refuse to say good-bye.

WE'RE IN THE WINTER TUNDRA

We're in the winter tundra,

The coldest of all places,

The bitter ice will freeze our heart,

And make us forget all the faces.

We're in the winter tundra,

And nothing ever seems to go right,

Every decision made is wrong,

So day is now the frightful night.

We're in the winter tundra,

But we're just too lost,

We don't know anything anymore,

So we've paid misery's cost.

We're in the winter tundra,

Please, God, protect me,

For I'm in the darkest of all evil,

For now I won't be happy.

We're in the winter tundra,

But we're so weak,

So what should we do?

For its happiness we seek.

We're in the winter tundra,

Death slowly takes our lives,

There's nothing to do to stop it,

Slowly we're freezing to strife.

We're in the winter tundra,

But they are no more,

Death has swallowed their soul,

So I'm alone forevermore.

I'm in the winter tundra,

Around me is darkest night,

My fingers are numb; I'm ceasing to write,

For it's time for me to say good-night,

For we're all in the winter tundra.

FRAGMENTED MEMORIES

You're on a journey,

God bless your luck,

You're out there living your life,

I hope you find what you're looking for,

Because I was looking for you,

But now you've left me all alone.

All that's left of us is

The fragmented memories,

But you won't even remember me,

Because there's only fragmented memories,

That only I'll remember.

I'm erased from your mind,

God bless you,

I hope you don't want me back,

Because you can't ever find me again,

Because I was looking for you,

But now you've left me all alone.

All that's left of us is

The fragmented memories,

But you won't even remember me,

Because there's only fragmented memories,

That only I'll remember.

What we had used to be whole,

But after that first lie,

I knew the shattered pieces

Would never be whole again.

All that's left of us is

The fragmented memories,

But you won't even remember me,

Because there's only fragmented memories,

That only I'll remember.

AN ANGEL IN MY EYES

You're an angel to me,

So beautiful in all your glory,

I know you were Heaven sent,

But were you sent here for me?

You're amazing to me,

Are you really mine?

I want to be with you every second,

Would that be fine?

You're an angel to me,

But with no wings or halo,

Bound by the laws of man,

Yet you let the pain go.

Your presence excites me,

Makes me feel okay,

Can you forever protect me?

Each and every day?

THE GOOD LIFE

Some people measure their life,

On the accomplishments they've made,

But life should be measured by the moments,

The memories can last; the glories fade.

This is when you made it,

It's not about the money and fame,

But the moments spent together,

With the laughs, the tears, the good and bad,

The irreplaceable memories.

A life spent without a lover,

Can be a lonely life to live,

Don't fear what a heart needs,

Maybe it's time for you to forgive.

This is when you made it,

It's not about the popularity,

But the moments spent together,

with friends, hanging out, the shenanigans,

The irreplaceable memories.

The moments you cherish,

Have nothing to do with the lime light,

It's all about the heartfelt moments,

You can always get more things,

But you can never get back your

High school years.

This is when you made it,

Material things won't ever make you happy,

It's being around those you love,

When you've finally made it,

To the good life.

THE FUTURE IS BRIGHT

All the times that I've cried,

It's left no room for happiness,

I've lived on the long, hard road,

Fighting for a future,

Better then my past,

I'm gunna get what I'm owed.

Tell everyone I'm leaving,

But don't forget about me,

I'll leave my past behind,

And find a better