If Not For You

By Amarinda Jones

“I need her now, seer.” Connor Malone bunched his hands into fists as the frustration of his existence once more slammed into him. There was a gnawing ache of loneliness within him that almost nothing could assuage.
Old Katie nodded. “I know.”
He didn’t doubt that. Old Katie knew everything—past, present and future. She was the one person who had managed to keep him from straying off track and misusing his gift. Connor shook his head. Gift. Sometimes he wondered about that. It was more a curse than a gift to be a Celtic warlock who could command nature at will for the aid and benefit of his countrymen. It was harder to contain the tornado of need and wanting inside him than the one created by nature’s fury. Sometimes his own needs surged so hard and rough that he felt powerless to stop the emotion from spilling over onto the land he’d promised to honor and protect when he turned thirteen and had come fully in control of his powers.
“When will she come?”
“Soon Astrid will cross the ocean to meet you.”
Astrid. It was a good, century’s old name meaning ‘divine strength’ in Old Norse. She’ll have to be strong to put up with me. Connor knew he wasn’t the easiest person to be with. The need to control and create often pushed him to the point of obsession. He needed a foil to counteract that intensity. I need my woman.
“And she is the one?” No one but other warlocks, who were, sadly, a dying breed, understood the crushing pressure they were under, and even then, his own kind tended to keep to themselves in order to guard their emotions.
“Yes, she will answer to the part of you that no other can.”

• Language: English
• Publisher: Scarlet Harlot Publishing
• Release date: Jun 29, 2012
• ISBN: 9781476245188

Amarinda Jones

Amarinda Jones believes anything is possible and sometimes just asking for the impossible will surprise someone enough that they will give it to you. Writing is like that. Put it out there and wait for a response. There is always the possibility you may fall on your arse, but after all, that's what cellulite is for. Amarinda believes in taking chances, speaking her mind and aging disgracefully. Twenty years from now she plans on being the neighborhood witch that all the kids are scared of. But then, everyone has to have a hobby.

Book preview

Published by Amarinda Jones at Smashwords

www.amarindajones.com

Copyright© 2012 Amarinda Jones

Cover Artist: Amarinda Jones

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

WARNING: The unauthorized reproduction or distribution of this copyrighted work is illegal. No part of this book may be used or reproduced electronically or in print without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in reviews.

This is a work of fiction. All names, characters, and places are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

If Not For You

Amarinda Jones

Prologue

Six months ago

I need her now, seer. Connor Malone bunched his hands into fists as the frustration of his existence once more slammed into him. There was a gnawing ache of loneliness within him that almost nothing could assuage.

Old Katie nodded. I know.

He didn’t doubt that. Old Katie knew everything—past, present and future. She was the one person who had managed to keep him from straying off track and misusing his gift. Connor shook his head. Gift. Sometimes he wondered about that. It was more a curse than a gift to be a Celtic warlock who could command nature at will for the aid and benefit of his countrymen. It was harder to contain the tornado of need and wanting inside him than the one created by nature’s fury. Sometimes his own needs surged so hard and rough that he felt powerless to stop the emotion from spilling over onto the land he’d promised to honor and protect when he turned thirteen and had come fully in control of his powers.

When will she come?

Soon Astrid will cross the ocean to meet you.

Astrid. It was a good, century’s old name meaning ‘divine strength’ in Old Norse. She’ll have to be strong to put up with me. Connor knew he wasn’t the easiest person to be with. The need to control and create often pushed him to the point of obsession. He needed a foil to counteract that intensity.  I need my woman.

And she is the one? No one but other warlocks, who were, sadly, a dying breed, understood the crushing pressure they were under, and even then, his own kind tended to keep to themselves in order to guard their emotions.

Yes, she will answer to the part of you that no other can.

Connor closed his eyes for a moment. The thought that there was a kindred soul out there just for him made his body tense in anticipation. Aye, there was the sexual need, but it was more than that. He wanted one person who could walk beside him and know him, the good and the bad, and accept him as a whole person.

Will she understand me?

No, not at first. Your intensity will confuse her, but she will come to realize your love for her.

Connor didn’t doubt for one second he would love her. Although he was hardly a monk when it came to women and sex, he knew, as every warlock did, he had one great love destined to come into his life. Unlike other people, warlocks knew some things instinctively. It was the inability to time events that drove them crazy. By his own will and the past lore of those warlocks who had come before him, Connor could help heal the earth after plague and pestilence, but he couldn’t foretell the coming of it. He was merely an instrument to be used to cure and restore the fury nature bestowed on mankind.

I need her.

I know, Old Katie responded.

I can’t continue on with my work without her.

Well, he could. It was more that Connor wanted to rest in the arms of the one person who would understand the passions that raged within his soul and the weariness that descended on him when he helped others.  I need my woman to mend me when I start to tear apart. And it was like that sometimes. What nature ruined and wrecked in a fit of pique wore him out trying to fix. And Connor couldn’t always fix everything by touching or willing problems away. The frustration of failure, after intense effort, was sometimes so wounding that he staggered until the weight of it made him feel like he would buckle under the pressure.

You can and you will because you must. Old Katie’s eyes were hard on his. Astrid will strengthen you when you tire and love you like no one else can.

I fear I may hurt her. Sometimes need was so overpowering it ruined everything. Connor wanted to love and be loved. He felt a tremendous need to share his heart openly with another. Will she understand me for who I am?

Yes.

And that I have no choice but to be the man I am? A warlock at the beck and call of nature’s whims?

Yes.

Two simple answers to complex questions. I’m tired.

I know but have patience. Astrid will arrive soon.

Chapter One

Present Day

The door was open. Astrid Hammond wasn’t surprised. Not many people would