What the F****?

By Jana Leigh

There is no redeeming value to this book other to laugh. I will not apologize or change anything that is written in this book because all of it is true. For my fans, buy it so I can get a glass of wine, for family, we are totally going out to dinner with this money, and for friends, party at you know who's house!
This book is a culmination of the last several years with my dear friends, we are very dysfunctional and decided to write this diary of sorts to make sure that when we are old and forgetful we have something to read.

I realize this is not everyone's cup of tea, please don't judge us too harshly as we all have psychological disorders which will seriously go into relapse.

• Language: English
• Publisher: JK Publishing LLC
• Release date: May 21, 2012
• ISBN: 9781476184852

Jana Leigh

Jana Leigh lives in Colorado surrounded by her family and friends. She loves writing and meeting new people!

Book preview

What the F***?

Three Women’s Survival Guide to Life, Love and Laughter!

By

Jana Leigh, Crystal Chanda Leir and Anita Mann

No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

This is a work of fiction. Names, places, characters and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, organizations, events or locales is entirely coincidental.

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then, please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

This is a work of fiction. Names, places, characters and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, organizations, events or locales are entirely coincidental.

© Copyright 2012 Jana Leigh. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Intro

Yes, I did say, What the Fuck! Although I realize that this is a strange title, you will come to realize as you read that there is no other phrase that will truly grasp the life lessons and funny anecdotes that are included in this tale. The first thing you have to understand is that we are not normal women, and in no way is our life ordinary. How could it be and still have enough information to fill these pages?

Let me first introduce you to the people who are the main characters in this never-ending saga we refer to as life. Jana is the individual who is penning this book. That being said, please realize nothing is written in here without the express consent of the other two involved in this project. (Well, that is until the end when they sign their approval, and then I go back and write a few more embarrassing facts that they will not want revealed!)

Jana is the wife of a retired Air Force member, yes, they are only 43, but she likes to make people think they are older.  She has three lovely children who will also be mentioned in this book because the oldest is a smart ass, the middle child has no verbal filters, and the youngest is just funny.  Her mother also lives close to her family and is often a witness. Jana keeps her in line by threatening to put her in a nursing home.

Jana got her degree in Social Work many years ago at Iowa State University, the land of corn and cows, before realizing that she was really too much of a bitch to help people and quit to fulfill her dream of being an author. She has written two books and is supposed to be working on her third. When her best friends called and said they thought they could make a million dollars writing this crazy-ass book, she decided she needed a break and decided to humor them. (Fortunately, at this point I realized that there was actually enough to fill more than thirty pages.)

Crystal Chanda Leir is a married woman who serves in the United States Air National Guard. She is 28 and is never going to have children because she borrows Jana’s and after having them for more than three hours, she realizes they actually have to be fed and clothed. Her husband works out of the country about half of the year, and since she lives down the street from Jana and her family, she spends a lot of time with them.

Crystal and her husband have two dogs and three cats, although most days she has more than that because she runs a doggie day care for our friends. She has two sisters, Shirley Stacked who is a Veterinarian (which will be explained later) and Mea Hem (also explained later), who are as blonde as she is; Jana and Anita often wonder if Crystal, and her sisters are having a competition that they know nothing about, that is until they met her mom. I feel it must be said that Crystal’s father loves to go fishing, a lot.

Crystal also has a degree in Social Work which she obtained at Colorado State University. She wants to use her degree in the future, but has found that working in the job she has now provided a lot of fodder for this legendary account.

Anita Mann is a single, not quite 30, woman.  She used to live in the same vicinity of the other two best friends but decided she needed to spread