Survival of the Thickest: Memoir of a Young Single Mother From a Third World Country

By Karen Santos

“You are now a second-rate woman,” my Uncle said when he found out that I was pregnant.
I was just 19 then, still in college, jobless, and most especially, unwed. In this country where I live in, those are the perfect recipe for social suicide. My only means for survival was to have a thick-face; and I knew I was strong enough to do that. Though, there seems to be a very thin line between childishness and maturity; and it took some time before I realized which side I was actually in.

This book, then, is about a young, single mother’s journey so far – her thoughts, her decisions and justifications, the lessons she learned, and the way she handled herself as she tried to move on.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Karen Santos
• Release date: May 8, 2012

Karen Santos

Karen Santos lives in Southeast Asia with her family, and had just started to publish her first eBook - a memoir about how she dealt with her teenage pregnancy and how she handled motherhood in general.

Book preview

Survival of the Thickest:

Memoir of a Young Single Mother

From a Third World Country

Karen Santos

Copyright © 2012 by Karen Santos

Smashwords Edition

All rights reserved.

No part of this publication may be copied, reproduced in any format, by any means, electronic or otherwise, without prior consent from the copyright owner and publisher of this book, except for BRIEF quotes for review purposes only.

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For J.I.. I will always be by your side.

Author’s Note

All the names, dates, events, and characterizations here are all true except for the author’s name. The author feels that the content is more important than her identity.

In no way does the author intend this book to be used for propaganda.

It is a memoir. A life. A form of self-expression. And, a collection of thoughts.

I hope you enjoy reading this as I have poured my heart and soul into it.

Table of Contents

Author’s Note…………………………………………………………………….1

Table of Contents…………………………………………………………….....1

Where do I start?.........................................................................................2

So, what now?.............................................................................................7

Balloon me up!...........................................................................................14

It’s Coming out!..........................................................................................21

Cry baby, Cry…………………………………………………………………..25

Leaving on a ship………………………………………………………………29

What matters most?................................................................................. 32

Where do I start?

I watched Juno a few years ago and I liked the film. Well, actually, it’s the lead character that I find amazing. She was like, yeah, I’m pregnant, so what? Why do you care? I love that attitude. She was fearless and thick. I know, it sounds weird to use the word thick to describe a person, but in my country, it makes sense. See we have this expression that can be literally translated as thick face. People usually see it as a negative description and I guess the closest English translation of it that I can give is – gutsy. Those who have a thick face have that strong character which can be arrogance, condescension, chauvinism, or basically anything that can make people say, Who do you think you are?

I both love and hate that characteristic because it takes courage and confidence to be like that especially in a society like mine. See, with my social status right now, I have to be thick in order to survive. I guess in some countries aggressiveness is applauded, and you can go places with that kind of attitude. Unfortunately for me, I am in a place where you have to kiss some pompous asses to get a little respect or acceptance.

So, there it is, I am a single mother in a third world and patriarchal country. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I do love my country, it’s just that its beauty is overshadowed by corruption and its infamous exportation of human labor. Both my parents work odd jobs overseas to support me, my child, my brother, and my sister. For most people here, having a parent working overseas makes you a lucky child, having both of them out there makes you even luckier.

Well, I’ve never felt that way. I felt like at least one of them should have been here with us. But, that’s what you get when you are in a country where finding a decent job is as difficult as, to use a famous American expression, finding a needle in a haystack.

To get a job, either you have a very impressive resume, or you have a powerful relative to get you in. Plus, as I’ve mentioned earlier, you need to kiss a pompous ass or even more; and my parents didn’t have any of that. Though, they were hard working, I can tell you that. They were able to have a good business, but, unfortunately, bad investments and betrayals crashed and burned them before I even reached my teens. And that’s when they started to break up.

I was the eldest in the family, and it sucks because it equates to bigger responsibilities and obligations. There’s no divorce here and annulment is very expensive. Plus, the disadvantage of keeping in touch with your relatives and other extended family members, is that they don’t understand the word privacy. No couple here can’t split silently. There will always be rumors that will surely spread, and people won’t care much if the couple’s children will be affected by it or not. They will also arrange for reconciliation of the couple, and if that fails, they’ll nag the children to