Butterflies At The Edge of Forever

By Austin P. Torney

Those who quest for the knowledge of everything have found much of it, and so they are pursued by their local intelligence agencies for this information. They take retreat in an up and coming World Intelligence Agency, into which some of the other organizations eventually merge, wherein they train, which experiences turn out to be grand adventures within themselves.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Austin P. Torney
• Release date: Feb 16, 2012
• ISBN: 9781465812940

Austin P. Torney

Austin began writing for real around the age of forty, a respite from working as an Information Engineer in the field of Computer Science, doing programming, an art, as it turned out. He calls himself a humanist, and is one who enjoys the liberal arts, utilizing science, for it pervades every discipline. He is currently retired and lives in the mountains of Poughquag, NY, near the Appalachian Trail. He enjoys tennis, writing, fun, humor, thinking, sleeping, poetry, music, dining, travel, romance, reading, swimming, and life.

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Butterflies At The Edge Of Forever

By Austin P. Torney

Copyright 2012 Austin P. Torney

Smashwords Edition

Dedication

Farewell, Old Friend

Poor Pluto’s been banished to the underworld,

Charon rowing him to the Land of the Forgotten.

Schoolchildren petitioned for his return,

But, he was voted off of the solar island.

Butterfly Effect Reference

The butterfly effect is a phrase that encapsulates the more technical notion of sensitive dependence on initial conditions in chaos theory. Small variations of the initial condition of a nonlinear dynamical system may produce large variations in the long term behavior of the system. So this is sometimes presented as esoteric behavior, but can be exhibited by very simple systems: for example, a ball placed at the crest of a hill might roll into any of several valleys depending on slight differences in initial position.

The phrase refers to the idea that a butterfly’s wings might create tiny changes in the atmosphere that ultimately cause a tornado to appear (or prevent a tornado from appearing). The flapping wing represents a small change in the initial condition of the system, which causes a chain of events leading to large-scale phenomena. Had the butterfly not flapped its wings, the trajectory of the system might have been vastly different.

Recurrence, the approximate return of a system towards its initial conditions, together with sensitive dependence on initial conditions are the two main ingredients for chaotic motion. They have the practical consequence of making complex systems, such as the weather, difficult to predict past a certain time range, approximately a week in the case of weather. (Wikipedia)

Chapter 1: On the Edge of Forever

The Great Extinguisher

Our planet is very good at promoting life,

But it is much better at extinguishing it.

Of the billions upon billions of living things,

99.99% are no longer around here living.

The human race had been degenerating, for the CMBR antenna that broadcasts our universal reality show had long been out of whack, as had been discovered by ToeQuestors as part of the true Theory of Everything. So, some funding was obtained from a top-secret government organization and a poll was held. Member Nobody was chosen as the no one most likely to succeed in whacking the transmitter back into adjustment, for he could operate with scarce a trace of not being there.

Background: The corrupted DNA of the Universe:

No one yet fully understands the irreducible complexity of the DNA double helix, which is the template for all carbon based life. It is so complex that the slightest change along the myriad of interrelated ladder of events causes the total collapse of the organism. DNA is made of 4 nucleotides arranged in such a way that a large number of perfectly cascading events form a living thinking life form. Now, what about the DNA at the universal level?

*** TOP SECRET *** EYES ONLY *** TOP SECRET ***

Likewise, a much more complex universal DNA template is the common thread of a much greater type of exponentially encrypted digital code of Everything which forms our entire universe, generating it in a virtual holographic way, that is:

The Infinite radiates through a DNA matrix,

Using Information or Energy to create

The Cosmic Microwave antenna, which broadcasts

Interference patterns of virtual reality.

The problem was that the celestial music of the spheres had fallen out of tune.

Butter flies like a banana, so Nobody quickly prepared to step into the past, through the Guardian of Forever, a means of getting closer to the workings of the Cosmic Background Radiation (CMBR) in order to fine tune it at the very source. This was not an attempt to revise human history, per say, for that mess was but a fairly typical happening that had way too much dumbness in it to be salvageable. The whims of fate would only create new fools, for wild and uncontrolled emotions had proved to be all that there was to say about all the miseries and follies that had been sadly written into the human chronicle. Yet, there was always a danger of even more negatively affecting the past, and so Nobody wore a light-bending suit that made him invisible, and furthermore contained most of his emanations. This would minimize most of his effects on the past and on the future that arose through interaction with the past, even that eventually magnifying of merely being seen with name brand clothes on. The microwave background radiation was the source interference pattern of the Holograph in which our reality exists. Behind it, a light radiance passed through a very complex matrix looking somewhat like DNA.

Graybeard, RascalPuff, Profpat, Fredrick, and others were in contact with Nobody through a video phone that was hooked up to the Hubble telescope that was in turn trained on the display screen of the Guardian of Forever. Austin was on a secondary line from New Jersey while surfing on the ethereal waves, though sometimes he was merely scraping along on the particulate matter of the beach. Crowds logged onto ToeQuest, ready to view the latest posts from everywhere and nowhere.

Nobody, knowing very well that time was Nature’s way of keeping everything from happening at once, took one small step for man into the past and found himself back standing right back in front of the Guardian again, and so he took a giant leap for mankind. Nobody stood in noplace during nowhen in the middle of nowhere, although space really has no center, as he navigated solely by the landmarks of his imagination towards the control panel of the CMBR antenna. He had butterflies in his stomach and flew like a bee.

It was like taking the chance of betting the entire company on either red or black in roulette, but more like Russian roulette in that really bad things could happen; however, the human race was quite desperate for clearer thinking, having really had enough of pettiness and silliness. Not to mention (which I will) that the angels of insight didn’t appear as often anymore, and that many humans even dozed off while good fortune passed right on by, nor had they recognized Lady Luck except in lotteries. Furthermore, as Flip Wilson once said, The cost of living is going up and the chance of living is going down. In addition, many were living a TV sitcom life. True, genius has its limits, but stupidity… (unknown author)

Many people even wasted no time reading ToeQuest forum posts. Even more said that some things, like ESP, had to be believed to be seen. Others, the types who quickly became bored on rainy Sunday afternoons, invented gods to grant them eternal immortality. Even worse, after all was said and done, more was always said than was done. Signs in subways said There is no gravity. The earth sucks. Everyone was only looking out for #1, not realizing that this often caused them to step in #2. And Ghandi, when asked what he thought of Western civilization, said I think it would be a good idea. And lots of people said eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we diet, since the waist was a terrible thing to mind. Yes, there were more horse’s asses than horses. Some even put Horace before Descartes (Donald O. Rickter).

Well, truth is more of a stranger in this story than fiction, so Nobody was well on his way to the early days of oblivion…

How’s it going, asked Rascal of Nobody.

It’s raining, answered Nobody.

Hardly? inquired Puff, the better side of the plurality of he and himself.

It’s hardly raining hardly, answered Nobody.

What does that mean exactly? asked Rascal, along with many others.

Never mind, said Nobody. I have an umbrella!

Austin piped in that the English language was becoming slightly affected, via the interruptions of in past, but encouraged that the journey go on, and so it continued as it progressed and went on.

By the way, what’s the antecedent of it in It’s raining?" posted WiseGuy, thinking he had posed quite a tough question.

Nothing, said Nobody, in the form of reverse gravity and forward light, the ultimate antecedent, of our time dilation called reality. I’m getting damp.

Rascal added that A little rain never hurt Nobody, a new and original saying that suddenly appeared in the book of the 2501 greatest sayings ever.

I hope the rain keeps up, said Nobody.

Why? inquired Profpat.

So then it won’t come down!

How’s it going, Nobody? asked Rascal again, figuring that Nobody’s watch was fast from relativity and that some hours had passed.

Nobody replied, I heard that the universe was a free lunch, so I’m having it in a restaurant on an asteroid.

How is it?

The food is great, but there’s no atmosphere.

There’s always someone who interrupts threads with off the wall stuff, so ChickenMan tried to catch Rascal unawares with Why did the chicken fly across the road? and Did the egg cross into God’s universe before the chicken?

Rascal, taking all this in stride during a lull, replied, As allowed by Einstein’s relativity, the road moved to the other side of the chicken, then, the chicken didn’t land so much as the road rose meet the chicken, as it extended in 4D, much like the baseball field rises to meet the pop up, since All is expanding. Furthermore, chickens can’t fly! Also, the chicken came first, for I can’t really picture God sitting on an egg to hatch it. Now, we’re trying to better tune in the universal DNA here, so no more chicken shit posts please!

Hold it, warned Graybeard. Some critical atoms must have been disturbed by Nobody’s journey. Now the Ace, a new name for the formerly bottommost playing card, the lowly one, is now higher than the King in many kinds of card games; this is a sacrilege and a travesty! Wait until London hears about this.

Mkirkpatrick somehow got into the conference call and said, Just heard, but relax. The All is the One; the A on the card really stands for All, for this is what gave rise to the monarchy. And of course the one is the One.

It’s okay, Fredrick said calmly, being an expert on numbers and on playing them, the play and strategy of all affected card games has not been altered in any way. Keep on going, Nobody.

While some old times passed, Graybeard stood around looking at the man in the moon and watching the grass grow. Fredrick checked his watch to see if he was wearing it and then counted to five on his left hand. Fine. On the other hand, he still had five fingers, so, all was still going well in the good old days. Profpat sharpened his pencil until it got down to the eraser.

Rascal interjected, Some sort of high stakes poker mania called Texas Hold ‘em has broken out in some countries. Googling now. It’s even replacing baseball on many TV channels!

It’s okay, reassured Fredrick, No harm done. We’ll pass it off as another fad.

Nobody was heading billions of years into the past, having left the asteroid before he got a polaroid from sitting on it too long, and was passing many frolicking Dodo birds, along with the beginnings of such ancient notions as alchemy and astrology. (Hey, why are hemorrhoids not called asteroids?)

A rickety old rope bridge of rotting planks finally led Nobody past many antiquities such as one-cent stamps and on to the control panel of the ancient broadcasting station of CBS.

Be careful, advised Profpat. Be so very delicate with any adjustments. Remember, on Earth, how the tiniest minute adjustment of a shower knob of even a millionth of an inch causes the shower water to become totally steaming hot! No plumber in the universe has ever been able to resolve this problem. It has something to do with quarks, quicks, and quacks.

Don’t worry, answered Nobody. I’ll be gentle; I’ll just breath on it slightly. We want clarity in the universe’s DNA and ours, as in improving the reception of a TV set, not unproving it back into the stone age of 3 channels, of all baseball games, and weather with snow and static on the others. I’ll do my best, come hell or hot water.

Nobody sprayed a few atoms toward the antenna and waited. His data/video link soon improved but then overloaded from the high transfer speed and burned out. Nobody’s cell phone soon rang, but it was only a solicitor trying to sell him some time-share condos; but, Graybeard finally got through and said Great, the stars are becoming clearer and I can even see some galaxies with the naked eye, but take it slow; we don’t want to upset the balance of nature by making it too bright at night. It’s good to tighten a screw, but tighten it too much and we’re screwed. Wait, hold it! I can see Venus, the goddess of love and passion all too well. Yikes, I didn’t know she was that old! Plus, I now have x-ray vision and can see into all the apartments, but the worst thing is that I can hear everything they are saying. Some things should be obscene and not heard! Also, I’m getting something called cartoons on my TV set, and they’re really weird, very unreal looking and everyone in them is doing silly things.

Nobody took out a hand held ‘vacuum’ cleaner and brought a few atoms back in as a fine adjustment.

Good, cheered Graybeard, that’s a good balance. Try something a little higher up and let’s see what happens. I am reading some fluctuations out of kilter around there.

Notions of up and down were useless in space, so Nobody picked a direction at random.

No, said Graybeard. Not that way; use your other ‘up’.

Okay, I’m switching. Back in kilter?

Graybeard answered, I don’t know; I’m seeing another goddess.

Suddenly, the Chicago Cubs, which had finally made it to the World Series of baseball, were swept in 4 straight games, while the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, and other unbelievables in attendance looked on in horror. Then Michael Jordan gave up basketball for baseball and then switched back again. Global warming picked up as an ice age began. Jesus, born a Christian, became Jewish, then converted back again. Hell froze over and then thawed out again. The same with the River of Forgetfulness; everyone was walking on water for a while and running like Hell from Hades.

Profpat warned Watch that shower knob, Nobody; the River Styx just boiled away and a bunch of dead people drowned after many more escaped!

Where are they going? inquired Nobody.

Profpat replied, They don’t know; they say they have CRS disease.

What’s CRS stand for?

Can’t Remember Shit.

OK guys. A little upper, Nobody requested Graybeard. That other direction was a downer.

Nobody reached up and out, but the bridge creaked and groaned, causing Nobody to slip a bit as a rope frayed, and all the TOE researchers feared that his adjustment time was now quite limited.

Meanwhile, Barry Bonds had broken the home run record, but, of course, steroids would be blamed for it. Mount Rushmore had briefly turned into Presidents Nixon, Ford, Carter, and Reagan, but just as soon returned back. However, the Boston Red Sox still won a World Series for the first time in 100 years.

Also, it turned out that someone named Yogi Berra had said many sayings that seemed to make sense, but really didn’t, like That restaurant is so crowded that no one goes there anymore, It gets dark early out here, If people don’t want to come out to the ball park, nobody’s going to stop them, It’s deja vu all over again, I didn’t really say all of the things I said, and many more unsayings.

Silly signs appeared on highways, like Road Works (it doesn’t work well during construction), and Speed Zone (meaning slow down). Something called rap music had become ever-present, as well as a new word, oxymoron, which was probably a related event. A funny thing happened to President Clinton, but he wasn’t impeached for it. He neither inhales nor has sex.

This one may be hard to explain, lamented Fredrick, but we’ll chalk it up to human nature.

Nobody did some fiddling of some knobs that he wasn’t supposed to touch, twiddling More of This-ness, and as a result some people on Krypton started to make every shot in basketball games, even from 50 miles away, being really IN THE ZONE, plus doing many other superhuman things. All the viewers from Earth were cheering this, but Fredrick warned them that total perfection might take all the fun out of life.

Better hold off, Graybeard suggested.

Nobody dialed the knobs back a little.

RascalPuff interjected, Some people are now reporting that they can fly like superman in some new thing called ‘sleeping hallucinations’ or ‘dreams’.

Also, zeroes began to look like the alphabetic letter ‘oh’, causing much confusion, along with ‘one’ looking like ‘el’, and some words began to have the same sound, called a ‘homonym’ but not a ‘homonim’, some with similar meanings; something called a ‘synonym’, although it had none itself, and some words now had multiple meanings. And how come ‘monosyllabic’ wasn’t? Nor was ‘phonetic’ spelled the way it sounded. And why was ‘abbreviation’ such a long word without any? Also, ‘love’ was reduced to having only the two good rhymes of ‘dove’ and ‘above’, which soon became overused and stale, frustrating many poets.

Austin reported that a part of Hawaii had sprung up in Wildwood, NJ, named Sunset Bay and that it had had big fat singers, torches, palm trees, waterfalls, tropical flowers, a half-ship at the end of a pier that served as a bar, good food (ordering raw oysters well done), although it consisted of only waves and fields (lucky that his brain turned the noumena into phenomena), and sand all around as a floor. Also, he said that many more ‘o’s had appeared in the word ‘Goo…ooogle’.

Fredrick suggested that the sleeping visions were harmless and probably helped us in some way, that homonyms gave poets even more rhymes, that synonyms and words with multiple meanings would enrich the language, that zeroes could have a slash added through them for differentiation, that typewriters were obsolete, that we could get used to the odd words, perhaps some day getting even, that the word ‘of’ now rhymed with ‘love’, that Hawaii in New Jersey would be seen as a planned tourist attraction, and that Google’s extra o’s would probably get used in a marketing ploy as denoting the internet page ranges of interest. Just about then, the moth-eaten walkway began its collapse, and all the cell-phoners quickly warned Nobody, for they could see the whole scene unfolding before their eyes knew about it.

Run! they all said in unison, and with text messages, as well. Run for your life. Get out of there. The bridge… All contact was lost, for Nobody’s cell phone roaming charges had become astronomical and overdue, causing his account to be canceled.

There was now nothing but nothing under Nobody’s feet, an impossibility, of course, for nothing can’t exist, but it was there, never the less; however, Nobody didn’t begin to fall right away, as in cartoons when no one falls until they realize through consciousness that there is nothing holding them up, and so he gained a precious second and leapt, just in time, back onto the falling bridge, having had the presence of mind during that split second of warning to attach a piece of tin foil to the antenna, a last ditch attempt to help humanity progress beyond TV sitcoms, Lindsey Lohan, and Paris Hilton. He moved quickly and soon accelerated to the speed of light, which was a lot faster back then, on the bridge that was literally (or virtually) crumbling as he ran across it.

No one knew where Nobody was or if he did nothing or didn’t do nothing. Concern set in. Worry followed. Despair appeared. Woe rang the doorbell. Grimness sat on the front steps. A bill collector drove up. Rascal saddened, but kept Googling to keep his mind busy, while Graybeard stopped ogling the virgin super clusters of Virgo with both