Running After Maria

By Eddie Gubbins

This is the story of one man’s Love and descent into depression after tragedy strikes, his anger at other people trying to help and his redemption in the arms of somebody who admired the dedication of other people who try to help. It explores the question of whether a person can really be saved after a devastating loss especially of somebody that person loves deeply?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Eddie Gubbins
• Release date: Sep 9, 2010
• ISBN: 9781452329215

Eddie Gubbins

I left school at sixteen and became a cadet with he Shell Tanker Company. In all, I spent 12 years as a ships officer in the British Merchant navy. That is where my Tales from the Sea posted on www.theoldun.blogspot.com come from. Actually I used to put what happened while I was at sea in some sort of literary context while walking up and down the bridge of ships in the middle of the night. Though it can sound exciting travelling the world’s oceans, at times it can be very boring spendin four hours staring at the sea. I never wrote these stories down at the time just composed them in my head. After leaving the sea, I graduated and became a university lecturer in Transport management. I had my first taste of writing seriously when I published a text book entitled Managing Trandport Operations. While lecturing years if my students appeared to get bored with my what I was teaching them, I kept them awake by relating my experiences while at sea! It was these students who encouraged me to write the stories down and post them on the web. over a number of years I wrote a novel entitled Running after Maria loosely based on aperiod in my life. In this novel I explored the effect of great loss and heartbreak and how the kindness of others can lead to redemption. As a first novel I could not find a publisher though I am thinking of publishing this as an ebook. Since retiring four years ago, I have signed up for Creative Writing classes at the local college. The Tutor ( Debbie Tyler-Bennett) is a poet and makes me write very bad poetry as well as short prose pieces. She has encouraged us to send our writing off to publishers. One of my short stories has been published as the runner up in a competion in an anthology “ islands in mind”. I have written or am in the prossess of writing a fantasy novel called The Return of the Exiles. I can remeber exactrly when the ideas for this started. It was 1972 and my wife had gone to look after her terminally ill mother. She left me with a copy of Lord of the RIngs and an Album Rambling Boy by Tom Paxton. I read Lord of the Rings in a very short time. It occurred to me that this was a genre in which certain ideas could be explored. Over the years i thought about this made notes and wrote isolated incidents in the story. Since starting Creative Writingclasses some of the other participants I have read some of these incidents to the class. they encouraged me to write the whole novel the result of which is The Return of the Exiles which looks as though it is now growing into two books. On my other web site: www.eddiegubbins.blogspot.com I am posting my fantasy novel The Return Of The Exiles a chapter a week. I have published under a grant scheme two novels An Ordinary Life and A Ceremony of innocence. I have for a long time been interested in how people see themselves and justify their actions. An Ordinary Life explores this concept in that the hero thinks he always acts for the best of motives. A Ceremony of Innocence explores the 1980’s and how many people grabbed what they could and hang the consequences. They did not consider how their actions impacted on other people.

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Running After Maria

By

Eddie Gubbins

Published by:

Eddie Gubbins on Smashwords.

Running After Maria 2010.

Coppyright © by Edmund J Gubbins.

All rights reserved. Without limiting rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication maybe reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system or transmitted, in any form or by any means ( electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise) without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of the book.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media and incidents are either the product of the author’s mind or are used fictitiously. The author acknowledges the trademark status and trademark owners of various products referenced in this work of fiction which have been used without permission. The publication/ use of trademarks is not authorised, associated with or sponsored by the trademark owner.

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By the same author:

The Shipping Industry

Managing Transport Operations

An Ordinary Life

A Ceremony of Innocence

Brotherly Love

Chapter 1

Henri and I had walked through the rest of the summer of my troubles, hand in hand, Helen, Alice and all the others forgotten. Close together, we had strolled along beaches by the sea, across fields and through the woods of England's green and pleasant land. The warmth of the air and the brightness of the sunshine, for that is how I remember that summer, resulting in warm sunny days and clear warm nights, making our senses tingle and the blood run excitedly through our veins. We had lunch whenever we could in some isolated country pub or picnicked by the sea. For both of us, time appeared to stand still or go very slowly as we focused all our attention on enjoying each other’s company.

Henri’s mother and father had welcomed me into their home and Henri had come home with me to meet my mother. I was so relaxed, I had visited the college library, something I had not done since starting the course of study for my Master’s Certificate in the spring. Often during those days, I would return home with an armload of books to find Henri waiting for me, sitting talking to my mother. When we were alone together, we seemed to be talking all the time but I cannot now remember what we talked about. Under the calming influence of Henri and the approving gaze of my mother, my studies progressed to the point where I had reached the place in the syllabus I should have reached by the end of term, weeks before. Then Henri and I had even more time for each other as I left my books until the start of the next term and so the summer passed and I hardly thought anymore about Maria and Karl.

Thinking about that summer, I was standing in the church where Henri worshiped every Sunday, waiting for her to arrive and then pledge to be my wife. It still astonished me that she had agreed to marry me with my depressed moods and my selfishness. Looking round the church, I glimpsed the people sitting waiting in the pews behind me, many of whom I knew, some unfamiliar but all there for Henri and me. Sitting beside me in the polished wooden pew at the front of the church was Percy, my bestman, trying to look worldly wise but secretly nervous, as shown by the way he kept feeling the wedding ring through the cloth of his jacket. He grinned at me when I glanced in his direction as though I needed reassurance.

Smiling back at Percy, sitting there at my side as the bestman at my wedding, brought back to me the time I had walked into the local pub after returning from a voyage to Australia. There, I had found my best friend, Percy, sitting at the bar nursing a pint of beer. He had blinked at me through his glasses in his earnest way when I greeted him and ordered a pint for me without asking if I wanted one, an automatic gesture between friends. His rather chubby face was glistening like I had never noticed before and he seemed nervous and excited at the same time. A girl came through a door at the side of the bar and took his arm.

June, he had said, a grin spreading all over his face. Meet James.

The girl, round faced, dark brown hair, brown eyes and a great figure had stood looking at me with that open smile which I found she always presented to the world and told me how much she had been looking forward to meeting me. I had thought then, as I grinned back to match her welcoming smile, that I could really get to like her and we had been friends ever since. They told me, holding tightly to each others hand, that they were going to get married and June had showed me the engagement ring, sparkling in the overhead light. Then Percy asked me if I would be his best man. I remember smiling like an idiot and flinging my arms round their shoulders in pure pleasure.

Sadly, I never had been the bestman at their wedding. It had proved impossible for me to arrange to be home on leave at time their wedding took place, sailing as I recall on an oil tanker the other side of the world. Oh, they sent me some cake and some of the photos but this was scant consolation for not being with them on the day. Since that day they were married, we had made a point of meeting whenever I was on leave and had sat long into the night swapping stories of what had happened to us since we last met.

There was a stir in the church and, with a shuffling of feet and papers, everybody stood. The organ started to play and I could not resist a look over my shoulder. There was Henri clinging to the arm of her father walking slowly down the aisle towards me, face hidden behind a veil but undoubtedly Henri. Seeing her there brought back to me in a rush the night we had first met.

That night, I had had an argument with my mother about study, college and my attitude to life especially my drinking and had stormed out of my home looking for a drink. The Royal George pub, where I usually met my friends, was crowded but for once there was nobody inside who I knew. I had a quick drink and left to go on to the Jack of Diamonds nightclub, in the hope of meeting somebody I knew once I got there. The bar inside the club was crowded and I found a corner and propped myself up before ordering a drink. As my drink was being served, there was a tap on my shoulder and when I turned round, Percy was standing there with a big grin on his face.

James! I heard you were home but I never seemed to catch you in when I phoned. Your mother said you were studying hard, he made a face as though he did not believe her and put his arm round my shoulder. " Come on over and join my friends and me. It's June's birthday today and we came here to celebrate.

I was about to say no to joining them but Percy was dragging me through the crowd towards the table where June was sitting. Before I could pull away, June spotted us approaching through the crowd and waved, making me realise there was no turning back.

Percy introduced me to the faces sitting round the table and June indicated an empty chair next to hers. How have you been keeping? she asked, giving me a dazzling smile. Percy told me you were home and I have been waiting for you to call but you never did. Your Mum reckoned you were at the college a lot of the time and then with some of the other students in the evening. She gave the impression you were working hard. Do you work so hard you have no time to come out with me James?

I ignored the obvious invitation in her words and growled, I am doing fine. Are you enjoying you birthday?

Yes thank you. It was Percy's idea to come here for the evening. She waved to somebody I could not see behind me. You are sitting in Henry's chair. There is another over there. Go and get it and you can sit here again.

I got to my feet and turned round expecting to find a tall man standing behind my chair ready to push me out of the way. To my surprise I found a girl. She was only about five feet tall and very slim with brown hair, cut short such that it framed her face but showed her ears. Pretty ears I remember thinking. Her face was heart shaped with high cheekbones, a small nose, red lips smiling at my astonishment and a pair of brown eyes creased at the comers with laughter. The white sweater and dungarees hid a very slim body such that her breasts made hardly any impression on her clothes. In another situation, I could have taken her for a boy. When I did not move, standing almost open mouthed in front of her, she raised one eyebrow higher than the other as a question mark.

You seem surprised at finding a woman standing here, she said unable to keep the amusement out of her voice or the smile off her face. I suppose this lot only told you that Henry was coming back and waited for your reaction when you found out it was a girl. She waved her arm theatrically at the group and bowed deeply before sitting in the chair I had just vacated. Looking up at me, she winked outrageously.

To hide my embarrassment and confusion, I hurriedly went in search of another chair. When I returned, I found Henri had made a space for me to sit beside her.

Sorry about the way I stared at you just now, I said to her as I sat down by her side. I didn't expect to find a woman standing behind me.

Don't worry about it. I am used to people reacting that way when I first meet them. She was laughing at what she found was my obvious embarrassment. Percy takes great delight in letting people think that I am a man and then watching their reaction when they meet me and find I am a woman. You, I suppose must be James, the friend of June and Percy who goes to sea and turns up in their lives and in their conversation every so often.

I must have looked rather wary because she smiled some more and carried on speaking as though she did not want an answer. Very smooth I remember thinking at the way she got passed my defences. Oh it is no big deal knowing who you are. Every time you are on leave, which hasn't been for a long time I must say, June has late nights and struggles into school the next day hardly able to keep her eyes open. That is how I know about you, June telling me why she is so tired when you are home. I suppose you leave her and Percy early in the morning and then sleep in until lunch time?

I take it you work in the same school as June? I asked innocently, though wanting to turn the conversation round to her and away from me. I was too close to my argument with Mum for me to be able to hold a civilised conversation about myself.

Yes, I take the youngest class, the little horrors, she replied in such a way that it was plain she really, despite what she might say, loved them all. Do you know? Robin locked Tracy in a cupboard today and wouldn't let her out until she gave him a kiss. They are only five years old.

Henri was off and I had succeeded beyond my wildest dreams getting her away from the subject of my life story and me. She was talking about her pupils in such a way she soon had me laughing at their antics and wondering how they ever got any work done in the class she taught. Even so, without seeming to change the subject, without seeming to pause in her account of her work, she was asking about what life was like on board ship and how I managed to survive living with the same people for such long periods. Despite my mood and the need I had for hiding my life away from other people, I found I was attracted by her open nature and I was soon matching her stories of her pupils with those of my own about the characters I had sailed with and some of the funny incidents which had happened to me at sea.

For one long moment, I had forgotten that we were not alone at the table so immersed had I become in the flow and brightness of Henri's happy talk. For that brief moment it was as though the sun had broken through the dull depression of my mood and I had been transported back to a time before Maria when life had appeared so much simpler. When I looked round to see if anybody else was listening, I found we were truly alone. All the other people were dancing. I hastily took Henri's hand and pulled her onto the dance floor in the hope that nobody would see we had been sitting talking, ignoring the other friends of June. Henri and I danced for a while and then, when we resumed our seats, June asked me to dance with her. June insisted on remarking that I looked and sounded much more relaxed than the last time we met and I could not help inwardly cringing at the hidden meaning I seemed to catch behind her words.

As Percy and I stepped forward to meet the vicar, I thought about my relationship with June and the time we had met before the night of her party. I was at home from the sea on sick leave with a broken leg and depression. During the time I had been home, Percy and June had come round to the house at every opportunity to keep me company and try to cheer me up. When the doctor had more or less ordered me to get out of the house and start testing the strength of my leg, they had encouraged me by taking me to town for drinks and short walks in the park. On the way back to my house after one of these outings, Percy had asked me if I would like June to take me to the seaside one day over the next weekend. He had said he would be away at a conference in Scarborough and June would be on her own and thus free to take me out. Rather reluctantly, still feeling I wanted to be left alone to wallow in my own self-pity, I had agreed to go.

It was like a breath of life giving oxygen to me when I actually saw the sea again after all this time cooped up at home. With sight of the Isle of Wight lying off the coast, June and I had walked slowly along the path above the beach, breathing deeply of the sea air. Well as I remembered, June walked, I staggered forward on my limping leg. Ships could be seen passing along the Channel, way out on the horizon and they reminded me that soon I would have to make a decision about what I was going to do after the doctor decided I was fit to resume work. I was able to walk now much easier than I had feared when leaving the hospital, the leg giving me very little pain. At times the leg was stiff but it had become fairly usable. The fresh air cleared the lingering cobwebs from my mind, the accumulated cobwebs of my inactivity over the last months. I had felt myself relaxing as I took in large drafts of the salt laden air and smelt the familiar smell of the sea. For the first time since I had returned to the Otter from the hospital in Finland, my hand did not feel empty without a glass. As my yearning for alcohol to deaden the pain, to stop me thinking about Maria seemed to diminish, I began to wonder whether the memory of Maria and my sense of loss was also fading? Was my time with Maria only one of the passing incidents of my life? Would it sink back, like other parts of my life, into the background, a fond memory but only a memory? The pain started to return so I breathed deeply of the air and walked on.

June walked beside me, slowing her pace to match mine. She was almost as tall as me, rounded of figure with dark brown hair falling half way down her back. Every so often, the breeze lifted her hair and it flowed away from her neck like a curtain with a sheen straight out of one of those television commercials. Her face I noticed once again was rather thin but she had big brown eyes and rather full lips that were always breaking into a smile. The white tee shirt she wore contrasted with the golden tan of her skin and the jeans covering her legs were like a second skin. At the time, I was surprised I noticed how attractive she was. Maybe, I had thought, I am returning to normal.

The feeling of belonging to the real world, of being almost normal again, had faded fast on the way home in June's car. Very soon after getting into the car, I began yearning for a drink. The need for a drink grew so much on the drive home, I did not pay much attention to what June was saying to me. All I could see from behind half closed eyes was the drinks cupboard in the lounge of my mother's house. It was almost real, as though I could stretch out my hand and open the door. I swear I could hear the gurgle as the liquid went into the glass as I imagined pouring my first drink after I arrived home. June had stopped her car outside her own house before I realised where we were and I had to make an effort to pull my thoughts away from home and whiskey to understand what she was saying.

Coming in for a cup of coffee? she was asking me. I expect you could do with a drink after all that exercise.

I would prefer a whiskey, I replied sharply, though I did not particularly want to go into her house especially without Percy being there with us. Besides, I wanted to get home, to be back in my own familiar surroundings with the drink in my hand.

You should cut down on the amount you drink, June admonished as she helped me out of the car. You will make yourself ill. I know, I know. It is your life and I am only a friend. We have a bottle in the cupboard. For emergencies Percy says aping what his Dad always said when it came to having spirits in their house. I expect even Percy’s Dad would agree that this is an emergency.

Sitting in one of their armchairs sipping my second drink, the feeling of depression dropped over me like a mist from the sea rolling ashore and covering the land. The whiskey did nothing to disperse the gathering fog of depression, only provided a warm glow in my stomach. June kept up a constant stream of small talk about her work and a few of our mutual friends. It was as though she was scared of silence and was desperately talking to fill the void into which my mood was plunging us. She sat with her long legs dangling over one arm of the chair, her mug of coffee cradled in her hands. With every movement of her head, her long hair shook and glistened in the light from the window. Something stirred inside me as I watched her movements but I was irritated at her continual chatter.

Without thinking, I burst out. Are you going to take me to bed or are we going to sit here looking at each other for the rest of the afternoon. It was the first time in my life I had ever spoken to June in that manner and my tone of voice startled me. Then what felt like a glow of satisfaction came over me and my anger at the way my life was going had a focus. June's eyes opened wide at what I said and I could visibly see her struggling with the shock my words had caused. It was as though she had not even thought about our making love when she had invited me back to her house for a coffee. For one brief moment my conscience flared at the hurt I had caused her but then it was gone and I was looking at her with hard eyes.

Why do you ask like that? she almost whispered, not looking in my direction but at her hands clasped in her lap. She sat on the arm of the chair still and rigid, no longer swinging her legs or tossing her head.

I had laughed harshly. Look June. The opportunity for me to screw you is here now because Percy is away in Scarborough. If you had wanted to, you could have taken me straight home from the seaside and I could have had a drink when we got to my house. As you must know, my mother likes you and would have fussed over you, got you tea and made sure you knew what a splendid person she thinks you are to have taken me out today. You would have loved that part, playing the heroine and basking in my mother’s praise. However, you didn't take me straight home even though my home is closer to the beach than where you and Percy live. You brought me here on the excuse that you would like to get me a drink before we went back to my house and to get me to talk to you. To me, in my present mood and from my experience, that could only mean you want me on my own, away from prying eyes. It is only logical to assume you want to go to bed with me. Look, if I am wrong, just take me home. If we leave now, we will still be in time for tea.

June climbed out of her chair and came over to where I was sitting. Like a statue, she stood in front of me, close enough so that I could see her expression but far enough away so that I could not touch her. Looking into my eyes, she stood very still, a look of loss and sadness in her eyes. As though she could not stop herself but did not really want to do what she was about to do, she almost fell forward and buried her head in my shoulder.

I should tell you to get lost, she almost whispered, her words muffled by my shoulder. For some reason, which I do not understand, I have wanted to make love with you for a long time. I don't know when this longing first started but it has been there for a while now. Every time you came on leave and you came back here with Percy and me, I dreamed about ways of getting you to come here during the day when Percy was at work. Somehow, I never seemed to get the chance to talk to you alone. I can't analyse my motives but I suppose as soon as Percy suggested taking you out for the afternoon on my own, I subconsciously thought this would present me with the opportunity to get you back here alone. I wanted you here on your own so that I would have a chance to at least try to entice you into my bed. After the way you just spoke to me, I am not too sure I want to go any further anymore. Why do you go out of your way to upset people who are only trying to help? You either want to withdraw into your own little world or you want to lash out at the nearest person. I don't understand. It has always been a pleasure when you come home on leave. Percy and you would chatter non-stop about football and life, while I would be able to sit and dream my dreams. Light heartedly we could flirt, not too far but just far enough so that the interest remained. Now it is as though you want to alienate every person you come into contact with. Just now you frighten me more than I like to admit. What has happened to you James?

I have lost my patience with life, I replied bluntly pulling her head away from my shoulder by the hair so that I could look into her eyes. Ignoring the half-suppressed look of pain, I went on. I want things to happen when I want them to happen, not when circumstances dictate. It was obvious to me that you brought me back here so that we could go to bed and have sex. Therefore, my mind says, why not get on with the sex. Why go through this silly ritual of sitting down here and having a drink first if what we both want is sex? There is no future for you and me, we both realise that a future for us is impossible. Whatever happens, what we do will only last this afternoon. I have no desire, especially since Maria, to get into complex relationships with other people. So, if sex with me is what you want, why are we hanging about here? Let us either go up to your bed now or you can take me home.

Let us go on up to bed, she said, taking my hand and leading me up the stairs.

We made love in the bed she shared with Percy every night, with his photo staring out from the bedside table at our every move. It was fierce love making, with none of the shared caring that I had found with Maria. It was as though we both had a need to push the other into submission. For me it was as though June represented all the frustration I felt and the barrier that separated me from the rest of the world. I pounded away, having no regard for her feelings or for any pain I was inflicting. She responded, racking my back with her nails and crying out for me to push harder. The physical roughness of our passion left the bed in disarray and in the end we both lay exhausted amongst the wreck of the bed covers. Even then I could not settle. I pushed June's bruised, naked and unconscious body away from its position across my chest and went down to the lounge to find a drink.

On the way home from her house, June and I did not talk. I had realised as we were dressing, that though I was tired, I was not relaxed and satisfied. After our rough love making, I had an even bigger sense of loss despite June's efforts to help me to forget. After making love to Maria, I was always relaxed and satisfied when I had to leave to go back to the ship. Now it was as though I had not been making love at all. Oh I could feel the bruises and the soreness but there was not the soft warm glow of satisfaction. Lost in thought in the seat beside June, I asked myself whether it was always going to be like this. Would I ever again find a soft warm place to lay aside my cares and concerns? Already, my time with Maria seemed so long ago. It was at times like a half remembered dream, softened by the passage of time and at other times, I had difficulty focussing on what it was like to lay beside Maria. Now however, after the fierce love making with June, I could remember vividly what I had felt when making love to Maria.

James. You have to try to get over this feeling that the whole world is against you, June’s voice burst in on my thoughts above the soothing sound of the engine. At the moment you seem to resent anybody coming too close. I get the impression that you are trying to erect barriers between yourself and other people. There is the danger in what you are doing that in the end all your friends, having tried to help you, will give up and leave you to face the future on your own.

June, I want to be left to work out my salvation in my own way, I replied not looking in her direction. I realise you are all trying to help me in the best way you can but I don't need any help. I suppose I should be grateful for the attention I am getting but I don't feel grateful. Therefore I cannot let people know how grateful I am. I just want to be left alone to work out what I have to do. It is very hard to explain to anybody especially when they have not been through the experience of, at the height of love, losing that love.

Oh James but you are alive! June shouted this at me so passionately, the car swerved across the road and she had difficulty bringing it under control. You are alive and have to learn to live with all the people around you. Stop bashing all those who try to hold out the hand of friendship. I know you loved Maria and what happened was tragic but you have to go on living. Would she want you to go round acting in the way you are at the moment? June was trying to get me to talk but all I wished was she would drive me home in silence.

I don't need you or anybody else to tell me how I ought or ought not to behave, I shouted back at her. Why I was angry with June, I could not have explained at the time even to myself. I can go around feeling sorry for myself quite easily without anybody else to sharing that feeling with me. Why can't you all leave me to my bottle and my bad temper? If you want to help me, you will all have to put up with my drinking and my anger, not keep trying to change things.

I won't say much more, June said, smiling slightly as she spoke. Every word I say only seems to make things worse. When I came to pick you up, I was hoping this afternoon would not end like this. It may surprise you in your present mood but there are still some people in this world who care about you. They all get rather worried when they have to sit and watch you tearing yourself apart over something you do not appear to be able to control. Contrasting you now to what you were like the last time you came on leave, makes me want to take hold of you and shake you. I want to yell into your ear, telling you life is not dead. You may have lost a part of your life but it is not the end of the world. There are a few of us ready to give some of our time and share ourselves with you in order for you to get through this unhappy time. 0h, we know we cannot be a substitute for Maria but we can provide a shoulder for you to lean on when you may need it most. The trouble is, we cannot do anything if you insist on knocking aside all attempts by people to hold your hand.

Oh so that is why you took me to your bed was it? I said cruelly, knowing this was likely to hurt June more than anything else I could have said.

If that is what you really think, there is nothing I could say to stop you thinking like that, she said sadly. Her free hand played along my thigh for a brief moment and her tongue moistened her lips. I understood what she was saying but looked deliberately away.

Here we are, she said stopping the car outside my house. I won't come in now after what we have been through this afternoon. Remember what I said about trying to live the life you have now and not the one from the past. Tell your Mother that I had to hurry back home to get ready for Percy coming home. We'll be in touch.

I grunted and struggled out of the car. Watching the car disappear down the road, I wondered why I could not respond to her attempted kindness.

June, I thought to myself, Why are you so good to me when all I can do is abuse that friendship? What would Percy say if he ever found out what we had been doing this afternoon? Poor old Percy, my trusting friend from our school days. Do you know your wife tried to renew my faith in life by making love to me in the very bed she shares with you? Christ, what a way to repay the kindness of a friend.

Henri came to a halt beside me and through her veil I could just make out her smile. Percy poked me in the thigh to get me to pay more attention. The service rolled on and we exchanged vows and rings. We sang the hymns and listened to the homily on the sanctity of marriage. Going through to the back room, I stood and watched as Henri signed the register. Later at the hotel for the reception, I stood with a drink in my hand talking to Henri’s friends and family. Once more my mind wandered and I was back in the nightclub as the evening came to an end. Percy invited the group back to his house to have a nightcap but to my surprise Henri had refused.

You picked me up on the way here and gave me a lift so that I could drink with June, she said in explanation. If I come back to your house in your car with you, you will have to get the car out again to drive me home. That means you will not be able to have a nightcap when you get home. Besides, she added with a broad grin and wink in my direction, if you have to take me home, June will have lost all her passion by the time you get back to her bed and you will have to sleep cold. She made