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    Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 104, February 18, 1893
    Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 104, February 18, 1893
    Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 104, February 18, 1893
    Ebook89 pages41 minutes

    Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 104, February 18, 1893

    By Various Various and F. C. (Francis Cowley) Burnand

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    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherArchive Classics
    Release dateNov 27, 2013
    Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 104, February 18, 1893

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      Book preview

      Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 104, February 18, 1893 - Various Various

      The Project Gutenberg eBook, Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 104, February 18, 1893, by Various, Edited by Francis Burnand

      This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with

      almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or

      re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included

      with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org

      Title: Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 104, February 18, 1893

      Author: Various

      Editor: Francis Burnand

      Release Date: July 24, 2007 [eBook #22133]

      Language: English

      Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1

      ***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI, VOL. 104, FEBRUARY 18, 1893***

      E-text prepared by Matt Whittaker, Juliet Sutherland,

      and the Project Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team

      (http://www.pgdp.net)

      PUNCH,

      OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

      VOL. 104.

      February 18, 1893.

      PHANTASMA-GORE-IA!

      Picturing the Various Modes of Melodramatic Murder. (By Our Off-his-Head Poet.)

      No. IV.—The Over-the-Cliff Murder.

      It may be this—that the Villain base

      Has insulted the hero's girl;

      It may be this—that he's brought disgrace

      On a wretchedly-acted Earl.

      I care not which it may chance to be,

      Only this do I chance to know—

      A cliff looks down at a canvas sea

      And some property rocks below!

      You say, perhaps, it is only there

      From a love of the picturesque—

      You hint, maybe, that it takes no share

      In the plot of this weird burlesque;

      But cliffs that tremble at every touch,

      And that flap in the dreadful draught,

      Have something better to do—ah, much!

      Than to criticise Nature's craft!

      The cliff is there, and the ocean too,

      And the property rocks below.

      (These last, as yet, don't appear to you,

      But they're somewhere behind, I know.)

      The cliff is there, and the sea besides

      (As I fancy I've said before),

      And yonder alone the Villain hides

      Who is thirsting for someone's gore!

      And now there comes to the Villain bold

      The unfortunate Villain Two.

      He's here to ask for the promised gold

      For the deeds he has had to do.

      But words run high, and a struggle strong

      Sends the cliff rocking to and fro,

      And Villain Two topples off ere long

      To the property rocks below!

      The scene is changed. The revolving cliff

      Now exhibits its other side.

      The corpse is there, looking very stiff—

      Even more than before it died!

      The crime is traced to the hero Jack,

      Notwithstanding the stupids know

      Deceased was thrown by the Villain black

      To the property rocks below!

      RHYMES FOR READERS OF REMINISCENCES.

      If the day's (as usual) pitchy,

      Take up Anne Thackeray Ritchie!

      If you're feeling quisby-snitchy,

      Seek the fire—and read your Ritchie!

      If your nerves are slack or twitchy,

      Quiet them with soothing Ritchie.

      If you're dull as water ditchy,

      You'll be cheered by roseate Ritchie.

      Be you achey, sore, chill, itchy,

      Rest you'll find in Mrs. Ritchie!

      May her light ne'er shine with slacker ray,

      Gentle daughter of great Thackeray!

      Words! Words! Words!—The decision in the Missing Words (and money) Competition is, in effect, No more words about it, but hand over the £23,628 to the National Debt Commissioners. Advice this of Stirling value.

      You Fall, Eiffel!

      Are the Panama sentences rather hard?

      So Monsieur Eiffel pro tem. disappears.

      To walk round about a prison yard

      Is the Tour d'Eiffel for a couple of years.

      Evident.—The little song for Mr. Harry Lawson to sing on reading Mr. Charles Darling's letter in the Times of Thursday last—"Charley is my Darling!"

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