"Just the Funny Bits"
()
About this ebook
Compiled excerpts from Yvette Price-Mear’s previous books;
“Your Mongoose Wants Re-Varnishing”
&
“There’s ALWAYS Time to Watch the Mice Dance”
&
“Would Tony Blair REALLY Have Invited Me For Tea…? If He Knew That I (Inadvertently) Took Photographs of Dead Friends”.
I hope you’re intrigued by the titles!
Just to give you an idea of the kind of (true) family yarns the book contains;
1; My littlest Granddaughter (aged four) said; “Nana, when I went to play at Evelyn’s we SNEAKED into her Mummy’s bedroom and got something ‘very private and special’ out of her drawers that we aren’t allowed to touch”.
I hardly dared ask…
“It was Lindsay’s machine to make sure that her baby’s heart is beeping”. WHAT a relief!
Related to "Just the Funny Bits"
Related ebooks
Everyone Worth Knowing Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5A Bit of Kissing Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSpirit Whispers: Autobiography of a Psychic Medium Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Mr. Undesirable Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBarry Loser: worst school trip ever! Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMinnie Pearl’s Diary Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWitchnapped in Westerham: Paranormal Investigation Bureau Cosy Mystery Book 1 Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Stand Up and Deliver: A nervous rookie on the comedy circuit Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMuscle Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings5,000 Great One Liners Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsLove in a Hopeless Place: Love in a Hopeless Place, #5 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Grown-Ups Wouldn’t Like It Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Pleasure Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsFire Basket Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsUpfront and Personal: The Autobiography Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Broken in the Break Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Reveller: Every Lie Has Eighty Percent Truth Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsLife's Curveballs Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsOkay, God... What Now? Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsStill Got It, Never Lost It! Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Competition Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBook of the Dead Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSynesthesia: A Memoir Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMother's Daze: A Hilarious Look At Family Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThere's a Bear in There: (and he wants Swedish) Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5My Breakaway Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Lies Our Fathers Told Us Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Sleepover Club Down Under Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Sleepover Club at the Carnival Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5How to Sell Your Family to the Aliens Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Humor & Satire For You
101 Fun Personality Quizzes: Who Are You . . . Really?! Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5I Will Judge You by Your Bookshelf Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Love and Other Words Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A Man Called Ove: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Don't Panic: Douglas Adams & The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Screwtape Letters Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Swamp Story: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Anxious People: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Best F*cking Activity Book Ever: Irreverent (and Slightly Vulgar) Activities for Adults Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5Killing the Guys Who Killed the Guy Who Killed Lincoln: A Nutty Story About Edwin Booth and Boston Corbett Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5My Favorite Half-Night Stand Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Soulmate Equation Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Farrell Covington and the Limits of Style: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Big Swiss: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I Can't Make This Up: Life Lessons Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5And Every Morning the Way Home Gets Longer and Longer: A Novella Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: the heartfelt, funny memoir by a New York Times bestselling therapist Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Go the F**k to Sleep Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Plato and a Platypus Walk Into a Bar...: Understanding Philosophy Through Jokes Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Mindful As F*ck: 100 Simple Exercises to Let That Sh*t Go! Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Solutions and Other Problems Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Britt-Marie Was Here: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Tidy the F*ck Up: The American Art of Organizing Your Sh*t Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Everything I Know About Love: A Memoir Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The 2,320 Funniest Quotes: The Most Hilarious Quips and One-Liners from allgreatquotes.com Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Everything Is F*cked: A Book About Hope Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Sex Hacks: Over 100 Tricks, Shortcuts, and Secrets to Set Your Sex Life on Fire Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5How to Be Alone: If You Want To, and Even If You Don't Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Related categories
Reviews for "Just the Funny Bits"
0 ratings0 reviews
Book preview
"Just the Funny Bits" - Yvette Price-Mear OLM
ISBN: 9781483504049
Whilst I was working as a Nurse in Out Patients at our local Hospital I was taking a history from a very quietly spoken patient who had a glass eye. I introduced him to the Consultant Dr Sands as; Mr H - who lost his eye as a child when he was attacked by a Pelican
.
Sorry to interrupt, Nurse
said the patient Mr H But it was with a pellet gun. We don’t get many Pelicans in Mansfield
.
Just The Funny Bits
~ Page 1
Words by Yvette Price-Mear OLM
Illustrated by Lindsay Devine
Whilst I was driving I saw a man sweating and swearing profusely re-loading vegetables that had fallen off his tractor-trailer. I said to him; Cheer up love; I’ll help you to pick all your turnips up – if you give me one for my dinner
.
We spent a companionable hour chatting and picking them all up and as I said goodbye he said; Don’t forget your turnip, I hope you enjoy it
.
When I got home and regaled my tale to my husband Tony he took the greatest of pleasure in telling me that the vegetable gift I had was in fact – a sugar beet!
Just The Funny Bits
~ Page 2
Words by Yvette Price-Mear OLM
Illustrated by Lindsay Devine
I wasted 35p on an edition of the Nottingham Evening Post when I misread the words on a sign outside the Newsagents. I was utterly intrigued when I drove past and saw the headline ‘Lap Dancing Bear Loses Its Performing Licence’ on the sandwich board.
I had visions of a grizzly bear wearing a diamante bikini and gyrating seductively around a sweaty middle-aged man. Only after I’d parted with my 35p did I notice that it actually said ‘Lap Dancing Bar loses its Performing Licence’.
I did ask for my money back - citing extenuating circumstances - but unfortunately my request was politely declined. Misers.
Just The Funny Bits
~ Page 3
Words by Yvette Price-Mear OLM
Illustrated by Lindsay Devine
When our daughter Rebecca was four-years-old she informed us that she was going to; Be a pincushion in the School Christmas Concert
. I measured her up ready to buy some brightly coloured, fluffy material which