Raising Digital Families For Dummies

By Amy Lupold Bair

Get on the same online playing field as your children withthis helpful resource

The youngest generation will never know life without iPhones,iPods, and Facebook, and while their parents have witnessed theevolution of technology, it is still a challenge to keep up withthe pace at which things change. This easy-to-understand guidehelps you get up to speed on everything you need to know NOW inorder to keep up with your children's online and gadget activity.The book offers invaluable guidance for managing mobile devices,social media, and the Internet before it manages you! Also featuredare tips and advice for establishing family rules for technologyuse and how to best handle situations when rules are broken.

• Covers monitoring software for computers and mobiledevices
• Offers advice for handling cyberbullies and introduces safesocial networks for children
• Addresses how to guide children who want to blog orpodcast
• Provides information on helpful sites that you may want toexplore for more issues on various issues that relate to the futureof technology

Whether you want to control mobile device usage or monitorsocial network activity, Raising Digital Families ForDummies will guide you through acquiring a better handle onthis important part of your children's lives.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Wiley
• Release date: Apr 10, 2013
• ISBN: 9781118485101

Book preview

Introduction

As the mom of two elementary school-age kids, I understand that parenting digital natives — that is, children born into this digital age in which we live — can be overwhelming at times. The technology that your children and their friends use daily may be unfamiliar to you. Even if you dive right into technology as quickly as your children do, you may not be aware of how your children experience the same platforms and devices. You also may not be familiar with the challenges and dangers associated with these technologies — dangers that are often unique to them.

Still, understanding current technology — from mobile apps to tablets — is about far more than safety. Raising a digital family also means monitoring access to seemingly unlimited resources online. Educational websites guide children in learning and practicing necessary skills, while family resource sites allow family members to stay connected. Apps help parents remember everything from when to buy milk to directions to play dates. If embraced and understood and monitored, today’s technology offers fabulous tools to help you raise your digital family.

This book will equip you — as a digital parent — to become the head of your digital family, protecting your loved ones from online pitfalls and guiding them to make the most of this amazing and ever-growing world of technology.

Here are some of the things you can do with this book:

check.png Change browser settings to protect your family’s privacy.

check.png Identify hidden online advertising aimed at your children.

check.png Manage Facebook privacy settings.

check.png Plan meals with the help of online tools.

check.png Help kids find fun yet safe entertainment sites online.

Foolish Assumptions

In writing this book, I assume that you have a home computer, at least one member of your family has a smartphone, and you know the basics of using today’s technology devices (such as web browsers and Wi-Fi). I assume that you’re interested in creating rules and guidelines for your family’s use of digital devices, but you may not know where to start. I also assume that you have an e-mail address and are familiar with social media, even if you don’t have a Facebook or Twitter account.

Conventions Used in This Book

When you see a term italicized, look for its definition in the context of raising a digital family. I sometimes give step-by-step instructions that direct you to enter specific text onscreen, and that text appears in bold. Website addresses (URLs) and e-mail addresses are in monofont. I sometimes refer to your children as digital natives because they've been born into a world of mobile devices, touchscreens, and Wi-Fi, while we as parents were born before the invention of many of the technologies we use today. I also refer often to the digital family, which is composed of the members of your nuclear family.

How This Book Is Organized

Raising Digital Families For Dummies has six parts. You don’t have to read the book sequentially, and you don’t even have to read all the sections in any particular chapter. You can use the Table of Contents and the index to find the information you need and quickly get your answer. Here is what you’ll find in each part.

Part I: Living in the Digital Age

Part I introduces you to today’s digital family, exploring some of the pros and cons of raising children in today’s digital age. This part guides you through creating a Digital Family Policy, which is a tool to create and manage the digital rules for your family. For example, how much screen time are your kids allowed on a weekday? Are they allowed to have a Facebook account? It also dives into the safety concerns that many parents face, such as online predators and cyberbullying. This section also lays some ground rules for basic online etiquette, empowering you with the tools you need to talk to your children about what’s appropriate online.

Part II: Navigating the Digital World Kids Live In

In this section, I introduce some of the digital gadgets that kids use daily, such as game consoles and social media games. This part tackles the issue of cyberbullying as well as online chat platforms and privacy settings. Not only does this part of the book guide you to change search engine filters to protect your family, but it also helps you identify online advertising targeting your children.

Part III: Grasping Social Media’s Effect on Your Family

Part III dives head-first into social media, exploring not only the most popular social media platforms for teens and adults, but also taking a close look at social networking sites created specifically for children. This section also walks you through creating a YouTube account, giving you access to both privacy settings and filters. Finally, Part III delves into the world of online entrepreneurship as it relates to kids, including kids who blog.

Part IV: Left to Their Own Devices

This section focuses on handheld devices, such as video game systems and tablets. Part IV introduces tablets created with kids in mind while also taking a look at how your tablet can easily become the family tablet. Considering a mobile phone for your child? See how to decide whether the time is right — as well as how to keep your child safe.

Part V: Utilizing Online Family Resources

Navigating the world of digital parenting is not only about understanding terms of service and privacy settings. There are also amazing resources available online. Many cool apps are available to help parents balance family budgets, create weekly meal plans, and more. Part V looks at the educational resources available online for kids as well as the parenting tools available on the Internet for parents.

Part VI: The Part of Tens

Familiar to For Dummies readers, these Parts of Tens chapters include basic tips for digital parents, a closer look at online locations your teenagers may frequent, and also some of the most popular websites for kids.

Icons Used in This Book

As a guide, look for those little pictures in margins that point you in the direction of useful information, things to remember, or warnings to heed.

tip.eps The Tip icon points out helpful information that may make something easier or point out something you may find useful.

remember.eps This icon notes a piece of information that you may want to use later.

warning_bomb.eps The Warning icon highlights lurking danger. When you see this icon, pay attention and proceed with caution.

technicalstuff.eps When you see this icon, you know that there’s techie material nearby. If you’re not feeling very techie, you can skip this info.

Where to Go from Here

You don’t have to read this book sequentially, and you don’t even have to read all the sections in any particular chapter. You can skip over sidebars and just read the material that helps you complete the task at hand. Your first stop might be to read the Table of Contents and find the sections of this book that you need.

You may want to read just the chapters that apply to you now, or jump right into the Part of Tens for some quick tips. Chapters can be read in any order you choose. When you’re ready to create your Digital Family Policy, see Chapter 2 — the policy, however, doesn’t have to be completed before you read Chapter 3. I do recommend reading the chapters that apply to your family before finalizing your family’s digital guidelines, though.

Each chapter stands on its own and can help you tackle specific tasks. For example, if your child has asked for his first mobile phone, you probably want to head to Chapter 17. If your child recently opened a Facebook account and you’re concerned about privacy settings, check out Chapter 12.

This book is accompanied by a companion website that includes a Digital Family Policy template as well as other material to help you raise your digital family safely and smartly. To access this additional content, point your web browser to http://www.dummies.com/go/raisingdigitalfamilies.

Part I

Living in the Digital Age

9781118485088-pp0101.eps

pt_webextra_bw.TIF For Dummies can help you get started with lots of subjects. Visit www.dummies.com for more great content online.

In this part . . .

check.png Meet today’s digital family and explore what parents face as they raise digital natives, including some of the pros and cons of growing up in the digital age.

check.png Create a Digital Family Policy for your own family, addressing issues ranging from device usage rules by age to creating a smart phone contract for your children.

check.png Become familiar with some of the top safety concerns of parents raising children in the digital age including online predators and identity theft.

check.png Gain an understanding of basic online etiquette and how to talk to your children about appropriate online behavior.

check.png Get to know more about hidden screen time and the surprising places where kids are spending time plugged in.

Chapter 1

Meeting the Digital Family

In This Chapter

arrow Understanding digital natives

arrow Exploring areas that concern parents

According to the U.S. Census, the average American family has 2.6 children, 3 televisions, and at least 1 home computer. Most kids receive their first mobile phone by middle school, and with nearly one-quarter of American adults owning a tablet device according to Pew Research Center, many children are growing up with access to digital applications nearly from birth. We cannot deny that we live in a digital age with everything from our phones to our kitchen appliances connected to the Internet. Many parents have begun to feel like it’s impossible to keep up with the ever-changing digital landscape and that their plugged in children speak a different language. There are also vast possibilities for learning, growth, and entertainment that we did not experience in our own childhoods.

As parents, even if we don’t understand every nuance of the digital world that our children (and we) live in, it’s important to set rules and parameters to help our kids navigate this brave new world. This book is chock-full of nuggets to help you become the digital parent you want to be for your digital native children, creating what I refer to as the digital family. This book covers the places where kids of various ages spend the most time online or otherwise enjoy technology as well as the basics of the most commonly used devices. All throughout this book, I show you how to use online resources for education, entertainment, and even family management.

Whatever concerns you had before picking up this book worry you most, being the parent of a digital native can be overwhelming. The technology that your children are growing up with may be unfamiliar to you. Even if you dive right into technology as quickly as your children, you may not be aware of how your children are experiencing the same platforms and devices and the challenges and dangers that are unique to them.

This book will equip you, though, as a digital parent, to become the head of your digital family, protecting them the best you can from online pitfalls to guide them to make the most of this amazing and ever-growing world of technology. Feel empowered! This is a brave, new world you are living in, and there is so much that it has to offer today’s parents and children.

Guiding Your Digital Natives

Children today are digital natives, born into the world of smartphones, touchscreens, and connectivity like never before in history. You, the parent, must learn about this technology and the risks and rewards it holds for your children to help them maximize its benefits as well as mitigate its dangers.

In Chapter 2, I walk you through creating a Digital Family Policy, which is a comprehensive document covering everything from online requests for credit card information to where your family stores devices while charging. Chapter 19 provides you with even more tools as you visit platforms and apps created specifically to help today’s busy digital family manage their constantly changing needs.

Of course, different ages of children shape your choices and rules. Throughout the book, I discuss devices, apps, and family rules by age group whenever possible.

Birth to preschool

Children from birth to preschool age typically experience technology in the arms of their parents through applications on tablets or smartphones or time spent viewing television programming selected by their parents. At this stage, parents have far less to worry about in terms of outside influences through technology or difficulties limiting access and screen time. Some parents may opt out of this early exposure entirely, but the popularity of apps and products aimed at the age 3 and younger set suggests that most have not. For those parents looking to regain control of their tablets, see Chapter 16 for my discussion of tablets created specifically for children, some with a suggested starting age of birth.

Elementary

After children reach the preschool to young elementary age group, the variety of products available geared specifically toward them expands significantly. Many of the handheld gaming devices that I cover in Chapter 15 are created with this age group in mind, and many kids in this age group also enjoy the game consoles described in Chapter 6. This is the age when hidden screen and Internet time begins to become a concern for many parents as kids begin to take part in play dates in friends’ homes and are given a bit more freedom to choose their own activities within the home. In Chapter 5, I deal with parents’ struggle to fully understand where kids are plugging in to help you locate that often overlooked digital time. This is also the age group when you will need to begin discussion about online etiquette (Chapter 4), exposure to advertising (Chapter 9), and participation in social media created just for this age group (Chapter 11). There are also a vast number of educational websites perfect for this period of childhood, and Chapter 18 will help you make the best of those.

Tweens

Children who have reached the tween years will begin to enjoy a digital freedom for which their younger siblings are not quite ready. This means access to more websites, tools, and devices — potentially, including their first smartphone! It also means more interaction online with strangers and the danger that comes with that. In Chapter 3, I walk you through some of these dangers, including online predators and other potential consequences of oversharing from this age group. Likely to be interacting online with peers they know — and perhaps some they don’t — tweens will need guidance regarding online chats (covered in Chapter 7), as well as the issue of cyberbullying (discussed in depth in Chapter 10). Should you decide that your tween is, in fact, ready for a smartphone, be sure to read Chapter 17.

Teens

After your child is age 13, the Internet becomes his oyster with online platform restrictions lifted on access to everything from Facebook to blogging platforms. Part III walks you through your child’s entrance into the world of adult social media platforms as well as blogging and other opportunities to catch the entrepreneurial bug. Before cutting your kids loose on Google or Bing, searching for information they need, check out Chapter 8, helping you help them navigate search engines. And with access to smartphones now essentially a must-do, stop by that smartphone chapter again to find tips for talking to your teens about both texting and driving and the topic of sexting.

Fighting Foes You Know — And Those You Don’t

Every parent worries about their children’s well-being, and the constant connectedness of the digital age provides many more opportunities for parents to be concerned. Most parents agree that such issues as offensive material, digital overload, and the costs to keep a family digitally plugged in are concerning, but parents should consider other issues — some highly dangerous — when creating their Digital Family Policy. Throughout the book, I cover the following concerns that all parents should have.

Inappropriate content

Graphic images, inappropriate language, and adult content are only a click away, and most kids with unsupervised online access have stumbled upon this inappropriate content at least once in their online experiences. Children are naturally curious and can easily locate inappropriate content while searching for something else for a school project or to answer a question. Links to inappropriate content appear in confusing spam e-mails, and sometimes friends will text or message unsuitable material without parents knowing.

In Chapter 8 (on navigating search engines), I walk you through some ways to prevent this type of accidental access to inappropriate material. Using software and parental controls on home computers and other Internet-enabled devices can also help to protect your children from accidentally viewing inappropriate content. Some options for these types of controls are discussed in Chapter 3 as well as Chapter 17, which covers mobile device monitors specifically. Remember to discuss content guidelines when creating your Digital Family Policy, which I cover in depth in Chapter 2.

Screen time overload

Many families set guidelines for the amount of screen time their children can consume during the day. Even so, the typical teen and tween consume more than seven hours a day of entertainment media, from devices with screens from television viewing to smartphone texting to internet browsing on the home computer.

And although monitoring screen time in your own home is fairly easy, children also receive quite a bit of additional screen time at school, in friends’ homes, and in less-obvious places, such as doctor’s waiting rooms. In Chapter 5, you can read about some of the locations where kids may be plugged in without you realizing it, as well as strategies to limit this additional screen time. With so many opportunities for kids to stare at a screen, it’s easy to see why screen time overload is a common concern for parents. Screen time rules are a critical piece of the Digital Family Policy, which I show you how to create in the next chapter.

Cost to stay connected

According to an iYogi survey, the average American family now spends more on monthly technology bills than on monthly utilities. Don’t forget to include such topics as device replacement and updating of equipment into your Digital Family Policy to deal with requests for the latest and greatest before they occur. Explaining the family policy for replacing broken devices may also encourage the members of your family to be more careful with their gadgets. Chapter 2 covers planning where you would like your family to stay connected — in your home, that is — including appropriate placement of the home computer and an approved charging location for devices.

Online child predators

Many parents believe that their children are interacting only within their safe circle of friends when online, but the startling fact is that according to the Crimes Against Children Research Center at the University of New Hampshire, one in five U.S. teenagers who use the Internet has reported receiving an unwanted sexual solicitation while online. Even more frightening, many children don’t understand the importance of not sharing their personal information online.

Online predators go where the children are online. For example, they may visit the same celebrity pages on Facebook or fan forums that are popular with young teens. They often pretend to be teens themselves and find ways to gain the trust of children online, messaging them privately and Friending them on social media platforms. Some experts have found that predators use social gaming, which I cover in Chapter 6, as a way to connect with potential victims through video and chat.

Despite the prevalence of online child predators, many parents aren’t aware of the threat because only about 25 percent of children who have been approached by an online predator reported this encounter to an adult according to the Crimes Against Children Research Center. In Chapter 3, I cover the topic of online predators at length, providing you with tips on how your children can avoid them and also providing you with options for monitoring and protecting your children on your home computer. Your Digital Family Policy should include a section with procedures for reporting these encounters to adults — and if necessary, the appropriate authorities.

Cyberbullying

Cyberbullying occurs when one child targets another child using interactive technologies, such as texting, e-mailing, messaging, or social media platforms. The cyberbully may use hateful language or even post threats or warnings. At times, cyberbullies befriend the victim to gain personal or embarrassing information or photos, which they then share publicly as a way to harass or shame the bullying victim. Cyberbullying in extreme cases involves the creation of hate sites or even the hacking of victim e-mail or social media accounts.

As of this writing, 49 U.S. states have laws about bullying, and many states have updated these laws to include cyberbullying. Forty-five states have specific laws regarding electronic harassment making cyberbullying not just a family issue, but a criminal issue.

When creating your Digital Family Policy, set aside time to discuss cyberbullying with your children, including rules for reporting cases of being bullied as well as consequences should your child participate in online harassment. Be sure to read Chapter 10 during the creation of your Digital Family Policy because that chapter covers the topic of cyberbullying at length, including tips on how to speak to your kids about the topic.

Your children’s digital footprint

A digital footprint is essentially a digital trail left every time you appear online, interact online, search online, and more. It may include tracking of your home computer’s IP (Internet Protocol) address or your Internet browser’s search history. It also includes saved chat message, e-mails, and shared digital images of you or your children. Most people understand that Facebook profiles and blog posts are part of their digital footprint, but they might not realize that comments on blogs, product reviews on retailer sites, and photographs in which they are tagged also leave a digital footprint.

Most children will have a digital footprint attached to their name before they really understand the implications of this digital footprint. Future employers and even colleges may search for the digital footprint of a candidate before making a decision about hiring them or accepting them into their school.

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technicalstuff.eps The ’Net’s no invisibility cloak: IP addresses

Many people erroneously believe the Internet offers them a level of anonymity. After all, how can anyone see your true identity? However, just by connecting to the Internet, you share information about your computer, your geographical location, and the websites you visit because of your IP address.

An IP address is a string of numbers unique to your computer that identifies your computer on the Internet. Websites can tell when your computer visits that site based on this unique identifier. So don’t be lulled into thinking you or your children are invisible while surfing the Internet. Technologies exist that can track your online activity and potentially expose your personal information to others.

If you’re curious to see your computer’s public IP address, simply type What is my IP address into the search field at Google. Your computer’s IP address will display above the search results!

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When discussing online etiquette and rules as part of the creation of your family’s Digital Family Policy, also take time to discuss not only the facets of a digital footprint, but also the future repercussions. I discuss your child’s digital footprint in more detail in Chapters 3 and 4.

Identity theft

Most every adult has heard of identity theft, but very few parents realize that their children can also be the victims of identity theft. Children’s Social Security numbers and other personal information are very enticing to identity thieves because kids have a financial clean slate. Predators then use this information to do everything from opening credit cards to purchasing homes.

Kits, software, and protection plans are available to help protect your family’s identities online. And you can take steps to make your family less at risk for identity theft. Chapter 3 helps