Hunt, Gather, Parent: What Ancient Cultures Can Teach Us About the Lost Art of Raising Happy, Helpful Little Humans

Written by Michaeleen Doucleff

Narrated by Michaeleen Doucleff

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER

The oldest cultures in the world have mastered the art of raising happy, well-adjusted children. What can we learn from them?

“Hunt, Gather, Parent is full of smart ideas that I immediately wanted to force on my own kids.” —Pamela Druckerman, The New York Times Book Review

When Dr. Michaeleen Doucleff becomes a mother, she examines the studies behind modern parenting guidance and finds the evidence frustratingly limited and often ineffective. Curious to learn about more effective parenting approaches, she visits a Maya village in the Yucatán Peninsula. There she encounters moms and dads who parent in a totally different way than we do—and raise extraordinarily kind, generous, and helpful children without yelling, nagging, or issuing timeouts. What else, Doucleff wonders, are Western parents missing out on?

In Hunt, Gather, Parent, Doucleff sets out with her three-year-old daughter in tow to learn and practice parenting strategies from families in three of the world’s most venerable communities: Maya families in Mexico, Inuit families above the Arctic Circle, and Hadzabe families in Tanzania. She sees that these cultures don’t have the same problems with children that Western parents do. Most strikingly, parents build a relationship with young children that is vastly different from the one many Western parents develop—it’s built on cooperation instead of control, trust instead of fear, and personalized needs instead of standardized development milestones.

Maya parents are masters at raising cooperative children. Without resorting to bribes, threats, or chore charts, Maya parents rear loyal helpers by including kids in household tasks from the time they can walk. Inuit parents have developed a remarkably effective approach for teaching children emotional intelligence. When kids cry, hit, or act out, Inuit parents respond with a calm, gentle demeanor that teaches children how to settle themselves down and think before acting. Hadzabe parents are experts on raising confident, self-driven kids with a simple tool that protects children from stress and anxiety, so common now among American kids.

Not only does Doucleff live with families and observe their methods firsthand, she also applies them with her own daughter, with striking results. She learns to discipline without yelling. She talks to psychologists, neuroscientists, anthropologists, and sociologists and explains how these strategies can impact children’s mental health and development. Filled with practical takeaways that parents can implement immediately, Hunt, Gather, Parent helps us rethink the ways we relate to our children, and reveals a universal parenting paradigm adapted for American families.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Simon & Schuster Audio
• Release date: Mar 2, 2021
• ISBN: 9781797118291

Michaeleen Doucleff

Michaeleen Doucleff, PhD, has reported on children’s health for NPR’s science desk for more than a decade. In 2015, she was part of the team that earned a George Foster Peabody Award for its coverage of the Ebola outbreak in West Africa. She has a doctorate in chemistry from the University of California, Berkeley, and a bachelor of science from the California Institute of Technology. Before joining NPR, Doucleff completed a postdoctoral fellowship at the National Institutes of Health. She lives with her husband and daughter in Alpine, Texas, and is the author of the New York Times bestseller Hunt, Gather, Parent and Dopamine Kids.

[Christine Enid Nieves Rodriguez · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Life changing book. Wow. I am grateful for reading this now at this time when I am raising two toddlers

[DH Kimzey · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

The best parenting book I’ve ever read! I will pass this around to everyone I know.

[natalie · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Absolutely the best parenting book! I will never have to read another one. I hope there is a follow up.

[Anise Washington · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

This is the best parenting book I’ve ever read. This book succeeds where every other parenting book especially “gentle/positive parenting” book has failed. This book gives real practical advice. It also does not make you feel awful for parenting mistakes you may have made in the past.

[Livia Hollosy · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

If I had to pick one parenting book, this is it!!! Amazing insight and techniques how to raise a kind helping and confident child!

[Carol Perry Studio Sostegno · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

The content was excellent and very manageable to listen to. My husband and I learned a lot and really enjoyed Dr. Doucleff’s research and observations.
My only complaint is that the author’s (American?) accent and lack of any formal speech training (despite a career on NPR) made for a somewhat distracting listen. I generally dislike books read by their authors though. In the future I would much prefer to read a book by Dr. Doucleff than hear her narrate it, or perhaps I’d choose to have a professional audiobook narrator do the job next time.
I liked the book so much I will likely purchase a hard copy to have on hand in my home for future reference. Especially the section on Tools!

[Karla Alvarez · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I have read so many parenting books, and I can honestly say this one was the most eye opening! I loved it

[mbfunctionalfitness · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Really great for those looking for parenting outside the norm!

[joey · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I’ve read many books on parenting this is by far the best parenting book. Thank you!!!

[Jennifer Belton · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Such an amazing, informative and insightful book! We loved it!

[Sonya Paulin · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Absolutely one of my favorites. Much better than most parenting books definitely recommend.

[Kaitlin Senter · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

This book put into words everything I have ever felt was missing from parenting advice. Ever time I've encountered advice & thought "but HOW do I do that?" Or "but WHY?" This book answers. I simultaneously learned what I was doing "wrong" while gaining confidence in the parts of already gotten "right". Fabulous listen. Will listen again.

[Victoria Lockard · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

This is my parenting bible now! This changed my mind about so many things.

[Jessica VandeVusse · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

An amazingly elegant and fresh perspective on child behavior with a simple and practical application. I wish I read this ten years ago when my son was born.

[Kristen Elliott · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

This is hands down best parenting book ever! So many things that make sense in western culture like giving children choices when they have little power, but choices (aka decision fatigue) are bad when children have so much Agency over their lives. We get so many things wrong and then do the wrong things to try to fix it

[gilly · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

It changed my relationship with my son, and my view of the world. It makes so much sense. I am so much happier, it seems unreal. Give yourself this gift, and read this book

[Elena · Rating: 1 out of 5 stars]

I couldn’t finish the audiobook, the voice was so WEIRD

[Amer Khalid · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Great book. Wish there was more research data but still not too bad.

[mitchw8 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

This was so eye opening as a parent. It really sheds a light on ways we parent from the western culture that seem fine and dandy, yet when you pick it apart and look at the long term results, show a different picture. It also gives practical steps for creating a better parenting experience with kids that are respectful and that you have a great relationship with. I’ve implemented several of the tips given and so far, so great!

[Lex Hansen · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Incredible! The most helpful and refreshing book on parenting ever. It gives hope that there is a better, more calm and supportive way to raise our children without letting go of all rules and structure. Wish I had found this sooner and will definitely reference many times in the future. Entertaining, informative and well organized. A must read for parents who want happy, helpful, kind and confident children!

[Aryten · Rating: 1 out of 5 stars]

This woman is unhinged and this is one of the worst parenting books I’ve ever read. She gets some good advice from those people she interviews, and then takes it in some nonsensical directions. She’s very behavior-correction focused, in a detrimental way. She advocates shaming a kid into compliance, and making up monsters to scare a kid into compliance, just to list a few. How will either of those things not come back to roost later? This book is the perfect example of why highly educated in one field doesn’t mean any sort of authority in another. Why should I look for anthropological information from a chemist, much less parenting advice? Pass pass pass. If you want to read a helpful parenting book, try ‘Good Inside’ by Dr Becky Kennedy (a clinical psychologist) instead.