Finding Your Own North Star: Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live

Written by Martha Beck

Narrated by Karen White

"The North Star—Stella Polaris—is a fixed point that can always be used to figure out which way you're headed. Explorers and mariners can depend on Polaris when there are no other landmarks in sight. The same relationship exists between you and your right life, the ultimate realization of your potential for happiness. I believe that a knowledge of that perfect life sits inside you just as the North Star sits in its unaltering spot. You may think you're utterly lost, but brush away the leaves, wait for the clouds to clear, and you'll see your destiny shining as brightly as ever; the fixed point in the constantly changing constellations of your life." —Martha Beck



As the creator of Life Designs, Inc., Martha Beck has helped hundreds of clients find their own North Star and figure out how to fulfill their potential and create joyful lives through her lectures, seminars, and one-on-one counseling. In this book, she shares her step-by-step program that will guide you to fulfill your own potential.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Tantor Media, Inc
• Release date: Jul 12, 2016
• ISBN: 9781515979005

Martha Beck

Martha Beck, PhD, is a life coach and longtime contributor to Oprah Daily. She is a Harvard-trained sociologist and New York Times bestselling author. She has published nine nonfiction books, one novel, and more than 200 magazine articles. Her book The Way of Integrity is a recent Oprah's Book Club Selection.

Reviews for Finding Your Own North Star

[Tori Tramel · Rating: 1 out of 5 stars]

This review is for the audiobook. I couldn't get through the first chapter. Karen White sounds like she needs a glass of water or to clear her throat the whole time. I'll be reading the paper version as it comes highly recommended. and I'd hate to let a bad voice person ruin a great resource.

[starsister12 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

This book saved my life. I’m only slightly exaggerating when I say that. I was deep in the grip of depression when my onii-san, David, let me borrow his copy of "Finding Your Own North Star: Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live" by Martha Beck. I was in pain, confused, and trying desperately to claw my way out of a hole I had only recently realized I was in. I needed to make sense of what was happening to me, why I was so unhappy, and what to do about it. Listening to other people doesn’t help me much because I often find it hard to relate to someone else’s thought processes. But books…a book I can read. A book I can understand and apply to my own life and experiences. And "Finding You Own North Star" helped me do just that."Finding Your Own North Star" helps you make sense of your life and find sources of unhappiness and happiness around you through self-examination and gentle suggestions. Exercises are present throughout the book to help you along. Most of all, "North Star" tells you to listen to your own body. Too often we override our emotions, our instincts, our gut reactions in favor of cold, hard logic or doing what we have to do, regardless of the damage it may cause us. We each have an internal north star, a sensation that tells us when we are getting close to something that is good for us, and the deep-set sickness that comes when we are on a course counter to our inner star. Since I’ve been trained to delay or deny my own needs in favor of the needs of others, I’m still working on sorting out and pinpointing these feelings. But at least I pay much more attention to my body and reactions to people, situations, and choices in my life. If I’m aware of what’s making me happy or unhappy, I can take steps to change my external life to more closely match what Martha Beck calls, my “essential self.” If you suffer from depression, unhappiness, or dissatisfaction with your life, I highly recommend this book.

[Bongani77 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I first came across this book as an excerpt. It took me 15 years to read it. It feels, in some ways, it came 15 years to late and in others, that it came 15 years too soon. That's how I know it came at just the time I needed it. Thanks Martha. I will most probably read it again in a year or 2.

[A Boyd · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

A solid primer on listening to your deepest and truest self. Read beautifully.

[kmbrwhit · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Martha has a wicked keen sense of humor and her observations about how life works are brilliantly articulated in this wonderful book.

[colie77 · Rating: 1 out of 5 stars]

For 2017 I was trying to complete a reading challenge. One of the books I needed to read was a self-help book. I chose this book because my parents gave it to me several years ago.

I think this book could be half the size if she didn't constantly repeat herself or give example after example. I started to lose interest when she said that people in abusive relationships feel false fear. I'm pretty sure people feel real fear when they've been repeatedly physically abused. The next part that threw me off was in Chapter 10 and she started talking about psychic abilities. I skipped that chapter. After that, I skimmed the rest of the book. The final straw was when she said, "Here my decision to keep a baby with Down's syndrome..." Um what other choice would you have? To give up the baby? I read the beginning of the rest of the chapters and paragraphs here and there. Again, most of it was a repeat of what she had already gone through previously.

[mandochild · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I am increasingly impressed by Martha Beck. While not every single thing she says rings true for me, I find that she brings together a great many concepts, familiar and unfamiliar, in ways that make total and immediate sense. Even things that should be obvious to me suddenly make more sense and have more context after reading her anecdotes. I find her refreshing, funny, thought-provoking and practical. I will be reading more of her work.

[danajean_1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

This is my favorite self-help book (fortunately or unfortunately, however your glass is filled, I've read a lot of them). Martha Beck packs a tremendous amount of information and guidance into this book, and along with her sense of humor, I found so much support and strength in its pages.

Definitely a keeper, I will continue to refer back to it as I waiver in my journey to find my own North Star. Intelligent, supportive--I need all the help I can get to be the best possible person and sometimes I have to find that help outside of myself. She makes a person see their situation for the truth it is and what it isn't, and work towards a fulfilling life.

Very much recommended to everyone.

[clueless_1 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

I bought this book a few years ago and scanned it at the time. For some reason I knew then wasn't the right time. Someone mentioned it so I picked it up again.

Here are some of my favorite passages:

...when you relax the thinking mind, the rule-bound, anxiety-ridden social self, you are not simply stopping everything. Taoists believe that there is an immense benevolent force flowing through all reality, and that each of us—at least our essences—are parrot of that force. Once you’re aligned with this force (The Tao, or “Way”), you’re like a surfer on the perfect wave; you move forward with tremendous, power, but the only thing you have to do is go up when the water goes up, and down when the water goes down.

This may be my favorite all time quote:

Babies show up knowing the truth: Each of them is an utterly lovable, beautiful creature, with a unique mission in life and all the equipment necessary to fulfill that mission. If the people around them support and nourish their essential selves, their social selves never have to disengage from this reality to serve the social group. This can be true for anyone, even people who appear to have a lot going against them.


We talk about what people will think, well who ARE those people?


The social self will turn virtually anybody into a generalized other, given two conditions: exposure and repetition. This is how you got the Everybody you have today. At some point, you were exposed to conditions and people that sent a powerful message about you. Then this message was repeated over and over and over. Sometimes the repetition came from outside the self:…Whether or not this happened, at some point your own social self took on the job of repeating insults and discouragement.

…I say that just because your broken arm isn’t as serious as someone else’s gut wound, that doesn’t mean your injury isn’t excruciating or doesn’t require attention. If you want to help the Indian children, or make the world a better place in any other way, you have start by becoming whole yourself.

People have a much harder time understanding your actions when you go back to school at forty-three because your mind is starving,

As long as a treat is scarce and forbidden, you’re going to feel compulsive and greedy about it.

[rayette_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Corny but undeniably life changing. Helped me find direction during a long winter in a new town.