Making Toast: A Family Story

Written by Roger Rosenblatt

Narrated by Roger Rosenblatt

“A painfully beautiful memoir….Written with such restraint as to be both heartbreaking and instructive.” —E. L. Doctorow

A revered, many times honored (George Polk, Peabody, and Emmy Award winner, to name but a few) journalist, novelist, and playwright, Roger Rosenblatt shares the unforgettable story of the tragedy that changed his life and his family. A book that grew out of his popular December 2008 essay in The New Yorker, Making Toast is a moving account of unexpected loss and recovery in the powerful tradition of About Alice and The Year of Magical Thinking. Writer Ann Beattie offers high praise to the acclaimed author of Lapham Rising and Beet for a memoir that is, “written so forthrightly, but so delicately, that you feel you’re a part of this family.”

• Language: English
• Publisher: HarperAudio
• Release date: Sep 3, 2019
• ISBN: 9780062972873

Roger Rosenblatt

Roger Rosenblatt  is the author of six off-Broadway plays and eighteen books, including Lapham Rising, Making Toast, Kayak Morning and The Boy Detective. He is the recipient of the 2015 Kenyon Review Award for Literary Achievement.

Reviews for Making Toast

[spiritedstardust · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

I found this book was more about the author than his deceased daughter or the family she left behind. I didn't really get to know her or her husband or her kids, but by the end of it I knew all about the author's written works, accolades, likes, dislikes, politcal views etc. It felt a touch 'self-centered' to me...

[readingfiend_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Roger Rosenblatt's daughter Amy, a wife and mother of three small children died one day while on her treadmill from some type of oddity in her heart that is not supposed to kill you. Roger and his wife move from their home on Long Island to live with their son in law and help take care of the children. It covers the first 18 months as well at looking back at Amy's life growing up with her two brothers. Although I tired a little of the perfectness of all the people mentioned (no one was ever just a little bit selfish?), it was a loving tribute to his daughter - I hope everyone in the family is doing well 3 years later.

[fitrun77 · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

Sad he lost his daughter. Not a good read though

[rascalstar · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Touching, honest, sweetly sad, and yes, funny at times. I didn't think I'd like this book as much as I did. It was read by the author on CD, and the author isn't the most exciting reader I've heard, but he got the job done. His words resonated with reality and the emotions behind the vignettes.

The book is about his grown daughter's untimely death and the aftermath when the author, a writer, and his wife go to live with their son-in-law and three young children. It's a simple book about daily routines, thoughts, small revelations, and choice moments. It's about every grandparent ever in this position and yet it's a personal story about a lovely family, simple and complex, and how they cope.

Lovingly crafted, the story is a beautiful tribute to a young mother and those she held most dear. The writing is spare and not meant to bring tears. It's uplifting and also down to earth. Bravo to the author.

[katya0133 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

I give Roger Rosenblatt 4 stars for a touching series of vignettes on grief, loss and love. (Others have complained that the book doesn't really have a plot or narrative arc, but I didn't mind that.)I deduct one star for the classism, name dropping, and unchecked privilege.

[cherybear · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Have tissues handy. This is not a book of fiction. The author and his wife move in with his son-in-law and three children after the untimely and unexpected death of their daughter. The author makes toast for the children every morning. The morning after his daughter died one of the children asked "how long are you staying?" and he answered "Forever." It's really a collection of essays. Their daughter, Amy, though deceased, still lives in many of those essays. Many of them are about death and loss. But many are about re-creating a family, albeit a new kind of family. And love, always love.

[froxgirl · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

This is a tender story of the aftermath of the sudden death of a beloved daughter, wife, and mother of three at a very young age, due to a non-symptomatic genetic heart defect. A tragedy like this can hardly be imagined, but the entire surviving family weathers the tempest by creating new routines and by caring for each other. Sad, true, and well told.

[bookconcierge · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Audiobook read by the author

From the dust jacket When his daughter, Amy – a gifted doctor, mother, and wife – collapses and dies from an asymptomatic heart condition, Roger Rosenblatt and his wife, Ginny, leave their home on the south Shore of Long Island to move in with their son-in-law, Harris, and their three young grandchildren: six-year-old Jessica, four-year-old Sammy, and one-year-old James, known as Bubbies. Long past the years of diapers, homework, and recitals, Roger and Ginny – Boppo and Mimi to the kids – quickly reaccustom themselves to the world of small children … Roger attends each day to “the one household duty I have mastered” – preparing the morning toast perfectly to each child’s liking.

This is a tender and loving memoir of one family’s efforts to recover from a devastating loss. How do you explain to a toddler that Mommy won’t be coming back? Where do you find joy? What small events trigger memories, both painful and joyous? As Boppo and Mimi learned which was Jessie’s favorite jacket (the blue, although pink is her favorite color), how Sammy liked his cereal (with REAL milk), and where Bubbies liked to hide the car keys, they were reminded of their own daughter’s childhood. At one point he relates an interview with Alice McDermott about her novel After This about a couple whose son is killed in Vietnam. McDermott says, “Even as we face unbearable sorrow, small things happen that make us able to bear it.” This book is about those small things.

The love is so evident in these pages. Rosenblatt is restrained where he could have been sentimental, and the book has all the more impact because of that. What might have been difficult to read, what might have seemed like an invasion of privacy is transformed by his simple recording of the everyday events that helped this family get through a seemingly impossible year of grief.

I usually prefer that audiobooks be performed by skilled voice artists, but Rosenblatt does a fine job narrating the audio himself.

[bookczuk · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

a gentle, sad, funny, insightful memoir. No parent wants to outlive a child. Yet, the author speaks openly about his grief, anger, and his unfailing love for his daughter and her children. Two things that struck me over and over was the fame of the people in the author's circle of friends, and his incredible sense of humor/playfulness. Bopo the great, indeed.

[ownedbycats · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Won this on Goodreads (thank you!!!). The book is slim, but nonetheless tells the story well. You can feel the loss the family went through. I lost my dad when I was 11, so I know how the death of a parent (looking at it from the child's side) can affect a small child. Your world is upside down. At least the grandparents were able to step in and become part of the household.
Small complaint, since the characters aren't fleshed out much it can be hard to follow who is who in the book. An extra 20-50 pages may have helped with this. Or even a list of who is who at the beginning.

All in all, a nice story to read.

[elizabethandrew-1 · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

Disappointing. More a journal of grieving a daughter than a constructed memoir. I found Rosenblatt's reflections emotionally shallow and wasn't at all sure why he expected me to read on.

[nmele_4 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

A beautifully crafted memoir of grief and its impact on the author's family.

[suefitz1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I’m so glad I didn’t read this story any sooner (since my dad died in Feb 2010) I’m not sure that I could have taken it. It’s amazing what can happen when a parent dies for the kids or a child dies before their parents. This is a story about both. Amazingly Roger and Ginny Rosenblatt live close enough to help their son-in-law Harris and their 3 grandchildren after the sudden death of their daughter, wife, mother.

It’s amazing what love can do to help you overcome anything. Grandparents become surrogate parents, aunts and uncles become new friends to help the children adapt. The most lucky thing is the children are young so that it might be easier to adjust.

Family seems to be the story of the day as they all deal with Amy’s death differently. Mom Ginny tries to help out and take her place whenever possible. Dad Roger struggles to find his place in the process. Husband Harris struggles in his own way. In the end they all do come through, but with many trials and tribulations along the way.

[pidgeon92_1 · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

Thank goodness that's over. There's no story here. Just daily details about a family.

[bookswoman · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

What happens when a world renowned author loses a daughter? Usually only friends and family will hear about it. But, for Roger Rosenblatt that wasn't what he needed. He needed to try and work through the first year plus a few months by writing about his feelings and the changes in his life that occurred when middle-child, and only daughter, died from an undiagnosed heart defect. Amy was a married doctor, mother of three and loved by anyone who met her. When she died with her oldest child being only six Roger and his wife Ginny moved in with their son-in-law and the three children to try and fill a hole that broke apart the families world.

I managed to read the whole book in one day, which isn't that remarkable since it was originally written as an essay, but I also managed to read it without tears. Those came as I finished the book and realized that those three children and their father, aunts, uncles, and both sets of grandparents still struggle daily to understand what happened and to try and move forward.

The book isn't written as a history or as a biography but as a stream of remembrances. How Amy was at six, then as a teen, the as a toddler, then as a college student. The memories are triggered often by her children. They will say or do something that reminds Roger of something Amy did that was similar or how she handled it with the oldest but that the youngest will never know.

The children play a central part in the story, from trying to help them cope with the loss of a mother to learning their day to day habits and trying to help a father who feels lost without his mate. But it is also a story about how two grandparents learn to cope with the loss of a daughter and the sudden responsibility of caring for three small children (not alone but they do take on a whole new lifestyle).

A touching, heartbreaking story and one that I'm very glad I took the time to read.

[jules72653 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Tiny little gem of a book that packs an emotional punch. My only complaint was the name dropping by the author of all the folks that helped or sent condolences after the death of his daughter. I get it, you are "somebody" who knows a lot of other "somebodies." Get over yourself.

[nancyjak · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Roger Rosenblatt's daughter Amy, a wife and mother of three small children died one day while on her treadmill from some type of oddity in her heart that is not supposed to kill you. Roger and his wife move from their home on Long Island to live with their son in law and help take care of the children. It covers the first 18 months as well at looking back at Amy's life growing up with her two brothers. Although I tired a little of the perfectness of all the people mentioned (no one was ever just a little bit selfish?), it was a loving tribute to his daughter - I hope everyone in the family is doing well 3 years later.

[timbazzett · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I have already written a letter to the author of MAKING TOAST, attempting to tell him what a beautiful book it is and how much it meant to me. I'm not sure I succeeded. But it is a brave book, wonderfully written, about family tragedy, about loss and grief. It's also very much about carrying on in the face of these things, about a family coming closer together, about sacrifices and major life changes made, all in the hopes of filling sudden empty places in a young family's life. Roger Rosenblatt is a writer who has mastered his craft, but he is also a still angry and grieving father and grandfather. MAKING TOAST is his testament to a life cut short - his daughter's - and a record of how he, his wife and his sons stepped in to help with the raising of his young grandchildren. This is a ten-star read that you will not soon forget.

[bookish59 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

A personal roadmap to deal with the horrendous loss of a daughter, and to continue to not only function but to step in and help raise her 3 young children. Roger and Ginny Rosenblatt were thrown back into the roles of parents when Amy, their daughter, a doctor, wife and mother suddenly died probably due to a heart anomaly. While the family mourns Amy, with the help of friends they heal by remembering her life with love. Though Roger and Ginny were involved in Amy's life, they lived hours away in Long Island and came for visits. After her death, they learn just how much she meant to her friends and patients. This strong family come together, despite their grief and anger, allowing each other time to remember and grieve while also living a very full and busy life. Roger, Ginny and Harris take the children to school, after-school activities, friends' homes, birthday parties, and vacations. The children also receive counseling. Their father and grandparents meet with the counselor to get status reports on the kids, and to discuss any of their own concerns. Roger is surprised that many of those friends who comforted him lost children of their own. Rosenblatt has written a wonderful tribute to his daughter, and how time, and love of family helped him work through his grief and anger.

[suzieqkc · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Life is short and none of us knows if we will even have tomorrow let alone next year. That was certainly true for Amy Rosenblatt Solomon, pediatrician, wife, mother of three young children. Her unexpected death made it impossible for her husband Harris to continue his career as a hand surgeon and father to their three children. Consequently, he enlisted the help of Roger and Ginny Rosenblatt, Amy's parents and his in-laws. They moved into the Solomon home in Bethesda,MD, and picked up the slack. Known as Boppo, Roger Rosenblatt, the granddad and nationally known author, became adept at 'making toast' for breakfast in whatever style each child wanted. His wife, Ginny, a former kindergarten teacher, took on her daughter's role as caretaker for the children, homework helper, cook, etc. Between the two of them, Roger and Ginny helped the family to get through the first year without Amy. In turn, the children and Harris helped them work through their grief. The book is such a heartbreaker in parts, but is also such a wonderful picture of how a family can come together and heal. Rosenblatt is very honest about his feelings. The book was so good that I was sorry when I got to the last page.

[tcrutch_1 · Rating: 1 out of 5 stars]

I think his fans like this out of sympathy...very boring & elitist.

[bobbieharv · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

I loved the excerpt I read in a magazine, and was excited to discover Rosenblatt's book in my library. I've always loved his writing, but the whole book was a disappointment. It's a very poignant story - Rosenblatt and his wife moving in with their son in law after his wife, their daughter, dies, to help care for the grandchildren. And I feel bad commenting on the writing, when what they did was so magnificent, but it fell flat for me. I think something like this is too hard to write about until it's long in the past, if ever.

[thornestaff · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

An unexpected and tragic death, a family grieving, the everyday life that goes on after disaster strikes - "Making Toast" has the potential to help those who face similar heartache; tragically, the author has no relationship with a loving God who weeps with the brokenhearted, which might have made his move through grieving easier, or less life-long, but his real honest raw emotions are muted and understated - poignant even.

[joemmama · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Roger Rosenblatt has written a love story to his daughter, his wife, his grandchildren, is in-laws, and his friends. Snippets of a life, without its light, make for a beautiful story of love and loss.When their daughter Amy dies suddenly, leaving her children and her stoic husband, Roger and his wife Ginny move in to help. Roger feels his only job is to make toast. A skillful writer, he makes the everyday magical as they navigate a new reality, one without Amy. Accepting the unacceptable is their new life.I really liked this book, and the people in it. I want to know how it all turns out. I wish them only the best!I read this on my e-reader while traveling and recovering, and I got it from the library. I love this thing!

[jocraddock_1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

A moving, forthright account of a family dealing with the sudden death of their daughter, wife, mother. How we respond, how we go on living, and loving, in a tender, real story. Rosenblatt has chronicled how his life changed with the death of his daughter, a young and vibrant wife, mother and doctor, and he and his own wife stepped in to provide -- and receive -- some stability during a painful time.

[stephaniechase_1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Very touching -- it would be a perfect little memoir of love, loss, and family if it weren't for the name dropping.

[knitwit2_1 · Rating: 1 out of 5 stars]

It was a very sad thing that happened to this family. But in reading the book it felt like I was just listening to a stream of consciousness. There seemed to be little continuity from one section to the next. Also the name dropping got old.

[novelbookworm_1 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Making Toast by Roger Rosenblatt is dedicated to his daughter Amy. When Amy suddenly dies, she leaves a busy medical practice, a loving husband, three small children, friends, siblings and parents. Her sudden death illustrates for us all the fragility of life and is written as a joyful reminder of what love can accomplish.I really enjoyed reading about the interaction between the children and their grandparents. There was a lot of sadness, but it was often interspersed with humor that only children can guarantee. So…that being said, how terrible of a person am I that I didn’t much like the book? Yep…I’m a terrible person. I sympathized with the family, I felt a lot of empathy for the pain and difficult situation they found themselves in, and yet I found the book really awkward to read. It seemed to contain too many names, and occasionally I would have to go back to figure out who was being mentioned. I thought the way it was written, while mostly chronological, did go back and forth a bit too much and I was confused by the timelines. And to me, it read much more like a personal journal of a grieving father. I felt like I was eavesdropping on aspects of a family that were frankly none of my business. But if it was going to be published as a memoir, I thought it could use some more editing.Okay…that took me a good three weeks to get the nerve to write. (Talk about kicking someone when they’re down…I’d probably be out beating up second graders for their lunch money soon…..)

[copperskye · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Roger Rosenblatt writes a tender, touching memoir chronicling his family’s life after the sudden death of his daughter. He and his wife move in with their son-in-law to help with their three young grandchildren and tells their story in a series of thoughtful, sometimes abrupt, sometimes heartbreaking vignettes. It’s a loving tribute to his daughter. Highly recommended.I had read the original essay which was published in The New Yorker a couple of years ago. This book expands on that story. HarperCollins/Ecco kindly provided the ARC.

[tibobi · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

The Short of It:Making Toast, although touching at times, lacks the emotional punch that you’d expect from a memoir.The Rest of It:As a reader, we are given brief snippets of information about the family. What the children like for breakfast, what they like to wear…their favorite color, you get the idea. This information is given to us in a very friendly, casual way. My problem with this is that it was so casual in the telling that I didn’t feel as if the author was really letting me into his life.I’ll explain. This was obviously a very painful loss for the entire family, but I didn’t really feel that the author wanted me to know how truly painful it was. I felt as if he was sharing this information with me but with filters in place. As if he didn’t want me to know how he truly felt. There are moments where he mentions his anger but I never felt his anger coming off the page.Also, it would have helped to know a bit more about Amy, his daughter. He touches on memories of her childhood, and a bit about her work but it wasn’t enough for me to really get a feel for her, and I really did want to get a feel for her as a person.The significance of the title is very touching. Rosenblatt finds comfort in making toast for his grandchildren. Such a simple act. One child likes it buttered, another likes it with cinnamon, etc. I was moved when I read this part because Rosenblatt went into why it was special for him.Rosenblatt’s story covers a year. Perhaps it would have been better to focus on the first six months as I’m sure there was a lot of adjustment taking place during that time. I would’ve liked to have heard more about Amy’s relationship with her dad. The bond between a father and a daughter is usually quite strong.Overall, it’s a touching story but I never really got to know anyone within it, so it sort of left me with an “unfinished” feeling. I can only imagine how horrible it would be to lose your daughter so suddenly.The back of the book states that Making Toast was originally an essay that was published in The New Yorker back in 2008. I may look for that essay to see how it differs from the book.Source: This ARC was sent to me by HarperCollins/Ecco.