The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Pattern of Intimate Relationships

Written by Harriet Lerner

Narrated by Harriet Lerner

The renowned classic and New York Times bestseller that has transformed the lives of millions of readers, dramatically changing how women and men view relationships.

Anger is something we feel. It exists for a reason and always deserves our respect and attention. We all have a right to everything we feel—and certainly our anger is no exception.

""Anger is a signal and one worth listening to,"" writes Dr. Harriet Lerner in her renowned classic that has transformed the lives of millions of readers. While anger deserves our attention and respect, women still learn to silence our anger, to deny it entirely, or to vent it in a way that leaves us feeling helpless and powerless. In this engaging and eminently wise book, Dr. Lerner teaches both women and men to identify the true sources of anger and to use it as a powerful vehicle for creating lasting change.

For decades, this book has helped millions of readers learn how to turn their anger into a constructive force for reshaping their lives. With a new introduction by the author, The Dance of Anger is ready to lead the next generation.

• Language: English
• Publisher: HarperCollins
• Release date: May 11, 2004
• ISBN: 9780060774134

Harriet Lerner

Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., is one of our nation’s most loved and respected relationship experts. Renowned for her work on the psychology of women and family relationships, she served as a staff psychologist at the Menninger Clinic for more than two decades. A distinguished lecturer, workshop leader, and psychotherapist, she is the author of The Dance of Anger and other bestselling books. She is also, with her sister, an award-winning children's book writer. She and her husband are therapists in Lawrence, Kansas, and have two sons.

Reviews for The Dance of Anger

[Alex · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Great tools and examples on how to deal with anger

[mmaat_2 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

good on over-functioning and under-functioning and triangulating

[kaitye2409 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Very good. Her book allowed me to apply some of her methods into practice for my household. I recommend this book to those who wish to work on their relationships with their love ones.

[thesmellofbooks · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

An incredibly helpful book, if used and not just read through, in restructuring relationships of all kinds into positive and healthy ones. Not so complicated as we might expect!

[dancingwaves · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

A really good (though sometimes cheesy) look at relationships and how to change some of the patterns we find ourselves in within those relationships. Highly recommended.

[disneypope · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I have referred many people to this book over the years to help learn about basic systems theory. Most helpful.

[Cristina Negrariu · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Very powerful and on point! It s very helpful because lots of people, specially women, have those barriers. Thank you!

[Latrice Tynes · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Narration was boring to follow and the case studies were mediocre.

[Yi · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Brilliant! Concrete and solid processes to analyze and process anger to advance relationships and relationship with ourselves.

[sonorandreamer-1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

This book is full of useful insights into how relationships work and how our behavior can change relationship cycles. My only disappointment is the lack of discussion of abuse. The assumption in this book seems to be that the relationship is not an abusive one and so is worthy of rescuing.

[Sami Downing · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Absolutely loved it! So much good and helpful advice in here.

[Kimberly Gutierrez · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Amazing! Definitely gave me a lot ti think about !

[maryh10000 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Lots of good stuff, but also lots of generalizing about "we women" that I could have done without. However, if you read it as gender neutral, all the advice seems to be spot on.

[herebedragons · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

This is a great book for helping to unlock the reasons we hold onto anger, an emotion which is so, so damaging to our health and relationships.

[Lindsey Norberg · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

So great! I will probably have to listen to it a second time but, it was an easy audiobook to listen to. Would recommend :D

[cmbohn · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

I was in therapy this summer briefly, but long enough for my therapist to recommend this book. I read through it and several times spotted some things that I do sometimes, but I can't say it was life changing. Mostly it reminded me that I need to be honest about my feelings and I need to set clear boundaries and stick to them.