The Atlantic

Dear Therapist: My Sister Constantly Complains, but Won’t Do Anything to Change

I want to have a good relationship with her, but I feel overwhelmed by her negativity.
Source: BIANCA BAGNARELLI

Editor’s Note: Every Monday, Lori Gottlieb answers questions from readers about their problems, big and small. Have a question? Email her at dear.therapist@theatlantic.com.

Dear Therapist,

My adult sister is a thoroughly unhappy person, but according to her, it is because no one in her life treats her well: Her children don’t call and visit enough; her friends don’t want to spend enough time with her and talk too much about themselves when they visit; she is a widow and is lonely, but none of her friends will fix her up with a man; her boss treats her poorly, etc.

When we get together, her “conversation” with me is a litany of complaints about her life, and I’m concerned that this is the case with others, as well. Needless to say, suggestions from me about changes she can make

You’re reading a preview, subscribe to read more.

More from The Atlantic

The Atlantic4 min read
Your Phone Has Nothing on AM Radio
This article was featured in the One Story to Read Today newsletter. Sign up for it here. There is little love lost between Senator Ted Cruz and Representative Rashida Tlaib. She has called him a “dumbass” for his opposition to the Paris Climate Agre
The Atlantic5 min read
The Strangest Job in the World
This is an edition of the Books Briefing, our editors’ weekly guide to the best in books. Sign up for it here. The role of first lady couldn’t be stranger. You attain the position almost by accident, simply by virtue of being married to the president
The Atlantic8 min readAmerican Government
The Most Consequential Recent First Lady
This article was featured in the One Story to Read Today newsletter. Sign up for it here. The most consequential first lady of modern times was Melania Trump. I know, I know. We are supposed to believe it was Hillary Clinton, with her unbaked cookies

Related Books & Audiobooks