From the book The Lost Art of Listening. Empathy is part intuition part effort. It takes two people to share an emotion: one to tell and one to listen. Being listened to shapes us and not being heard twists us. Intent=impact. Beware Transference. Less well not poorly. Suspend self. Arguments are like ping pong games- it takes two to keep them going. We don't restate so that we can show we understand rather we restate so that we can try to understand. It's not differences of opinion or hot topics that can cause challenges with us, rather the emotions that it causes. It's the way hard things are said that determines if they're heard. Speaking with emotional chargedness ensures that your audience will not listen. If you interrupt then make sure it's to get them to talk more. Feelings are facts to those experiencing them. Tell me more. changing your relationship with your parents doesn't mean changing them but rather changing your reactions to them. Accept people for who they are and you will not have to keep changing them. Accept that this is the way they've always been and you're not going to change them. Accept them. Self restraint not self-denial. Your parents are your final exam.


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