In this insightful episode, psychotherapist Tonya Lester helps listeners understand the difference between being mean, rigid, or impossible, and being the good kind of "difficult". She discusses the importance of self-expression, standing for one's needs, and making clear one's life goals. Tonya teaches us how to better manage our thoughts and emotions, build respectful and supportive relationships, and approach decision-making with courage and clarity.We delve deep into the challenges we face when experiencing emotional struggles - from endless worrying about the future, ruminating over the past, to second-guessing our social interactions. Tonya explores common coping mechanisms that often fail to provide long-term relief, highlighting the common misconception that our struggles make us uniquely burdened.Addressing those who may have previously had unsuccessful therapy experiences, Tonya explains that finding a dynamic, relational, and interactive therapist could make all the difference. She discusses the importance of constructive feedback in catalyzing change and stresses the need for active engagement in therapy as opposed to unconscious rumination.Questioning the idea that we should be able to figure everything out on our own, Tonya underscores the challenges of anxiety and depression and how they can negatively affect self-perception. She provides tangible tactics that we can implement immediately such as attaining enough sleep, healthy eating, daily exercising, setting up daily meditation practices, and efficient time management.Pushing beyond the idea of baseline functioning, this episode encourages listeners to envision a life driven by their strengths and values, rather than fears and worries. Tonya underlines the necessity of therapy as a support for achieving a fuller, more satisfying life. To finally ask the question, "What do we want our one life to look like?"Support the show