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Do yourself a big favor. Invest in your ability to say no masterfully. Vanessa Patrick's research illuminates why we say yes when we really want to say no. She offers valuable practical tips on how to say no gracefully, but firmly, using what she calls empowered refusal. She advocates clarifying your purpose and your priorities, setting Personal Policies around them - and being mindful of the words you choose when you do say no. In retirement, saying no at the right times can set you free - so you can invest your time on the things that truly matter most to you.

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Bio
Vanessa Patrick is the author of The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No that Puts You in Charge of Your Life.

Dr. Patrick is a Professor of Marketing and the Associate Dean for Research at the Bauer College of Business at the University of Houston. She has a PhD in Business from the University of Southern California and an MBA in marketing and a BS degree in microbiology and biochemistry from Bombay University in India. Patrick has published dozens of research articles in top-tier academic journals in psychology, marketing, and management, and popular accounts of her work have appeared in the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, NPR, Los Angeles Times, Business Week, Fast Company, Forbes, Huffington Post and Washington Post. In her research, she investigates strategies to achieve personal mastery and inspire everyday excellence in oneself and others and is a pioneer in the study of everyday consumer aesthetics. Patrick lives with her family in Houston, Texas.

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For More on Vanessa Patrick

The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No that Puts You in Charge of Your Life

Website

Research Study: 'I Don’t' versus 'I Can’t': When Empowered Refusal Motivates Goal-Directed Behavior by Vanessa Patrick & Henrik Hagtvedt

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Podcast Episodes You May Like

The Joy of Saying No - Natalie Lue

Chatter & Your Inner Voice – Ethan Kross

Retire Happy – Dr. Catherine Sanderson

How to Live a Values Based Life – Harry Kraemer

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Wise Quotes

On Why We Say Yes When We Really Don't Want To



"In my research, I identify three main reasons as to why we say yes, when we want to say no. One is a concern for the relationships we have with others. So when people ask us to do something, they're usually our friends, our family, people who are colleagues and acquaintances, and we want to have a good relationship with those people. We want to maintain that good relationship. The second reason ties into our reputation. We want to be seen positively in the eyes of people. We want to be seen as capable, as confident, as able to handle the things that are thrown our way. And the third thing is we have never really learned how to say no effectively throughout our lives. We've kind of tried to accommodate people's requests and be cooperative and helpful, and [we're] givers more than takers. And society in many ways, kind of shapes that sort of behavior and rewards that sort of behavior. And so we have never really learned to look inwards and think about how do I say no to the things that are not aligned with what I want to do or what I want to achieve."

On Choosing the Right Words



"So, in my research, I actually focus on what are the words that we can use to communicate our refusal, that implicate the identity? And the way you implicate your identity is you ground your refusal in your identity is by choosing your words carefully. When you say, I can't,