I have never faced this level of radical honesty until now. I was introduced to the concept of Existential Kink by Carolyn Elliott and it blew my mind. The truth is, most of us secretly benefit from the pain and suffering in our life, we're just aware and not willing to be honesty about it. For example: if we are chronically sick, we are probably filling the emotional need of love, attention, and being cared for, so in all honesty, being sick, brings us many benefits. In this episode I discuss the shadow work I have been doing and sharing the insights, like... how could I be benefiting from "infertility?" I discovered that I actually do benefit! I also discuss how what we desire we also fear and that we all have thresholds, "ceilings" on how much money we think is appropriate to make.