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Ministering to Individuals Who Lose a Child | An Interview with Julie Cluff
Currently unavailable
Ministering to Individuals Who Lose a Child | An Interview with Julie Cluff
ratings:
Length:
70 minutes
Released:
May 29, 2021
Format:
Podcast episode
Description
Julie Cluff is a speaker, author, international grief coach and the owner of Build a Life After Loss, where she helps those who are grieving to rebuild their life after loss. She hosts the Build a Life After Loss podcast, and she is the author of the book Miracles in the Darkness, in which she shares her experiences with grief, including the death of her two youngest children in a car accident on Mother’s Day in 2007, and the journey back to hope and healing. Julie currently serves as the Relief Society Activity Coordinator and has previously served as a Stake and Ward Primary Counselor, Young Women’s president, Relief Society Counselor, and Stake Public Affairs Director. Julie and her husband Ron have 6 children and 10 grandchildren.
Highlights
3:55 - Julie’s Background
Felt compelled to support others who experience loss and grief after significant personal losses: brother died by suicide, divorce, and two children died in an automobile accident
5:20 - Recounting automobile accident
Our lives were changed forever
We have had things we have had to overcome because of the accident
Healing from our Savior is available
10:20 - How she processed and moved forward post-loss
It is a long process and not an overnight experience
Painful experiences and discomfort led to healing (the weight and heaviness of the darkness began lifting)
Healing happened when the timing was right for her to appreciate what the Savior did for her
Everyone’s healing doesn’t come in the same way or instantaneously
She was given a unique and miraculous experience so that she could testify of healing and where it comes from
Ultimate healing comes from the Savior
15:45 - The difference between grieving and healing
Grief is the path to healing, it is part of the solution not the problem
Grief is the pain we experience that tells us we have experienced an emotional injury and we need to take care of it
19:05 - The process of grief and healing
Emotional pain is painful for those around us, we want everyone to be okay
Trust the process of grief and healing and do not rush it
21:15 - Getting trapped in the grief cycle
Going online to find support can contribute to getting stuck in our grief and pain
Richard G. Scott - It is crucial that we be active participants in our healing
Most of us know very little about grief and the process or effort required to heal
We grieve and then we pile on shame and guilt as we don’t know what to do
As a leader, the challenge is to honour their grief path and the pain they’re experiencing
25:55 - We’re not responsible for someone’s healing but we can be there to support
Support looks like accepting the pain
Sympathy = more pain
Empathy = that must be so hard
Instead of telling the person what they need, ask them how you can support them in their healing process
27:50 - Show up and answer their questions
Our presence says I love you and I care about you
No need to fear saying the wrong thing, we don’t have to have the right words
35:10 - Avoid overreacting to their emotions and concerns
Everyone’s reaction to grief is unique and different and we should not judge or dictate their healing
Whey they ask questions, that’s when we get to answer their questions rather than asserting information
41:05 - Don’t be overwhelmed trying to say the right thing
The overwhelm comes from thinking that somehow we can make it better or that there is the perfect thing to say (and there isn’t)
Just show up and it will become more comfortable the more willing you are to sit with the discomfort
46:10 - Set up a support structure
Coordinator efforts to address both the emotional needs and the physical needs
50:45 - Being sensitive to the ongoing impact of grief
The emergency situation vs. the ongoing impact of grief and loss
The ongoing impact is where the spiritual support is most needed
Stay engaged so they have someone to go to answer their questions,
Highlights
3:55 - Julie’s Background
Felt compelled to support others who experience loss and grief after significant personal losses: brother died by suicide, divorce, and two children died in an automobile accident
5:20 - Recounting automobile accident
Our lives were changed forever
We have had things we have had to overcome because of the accident
Healing from our Savior is available
10:20 - How she processed and moved forward post-loss
It is a long process and not an overnight experience
Painful experiences and discomfort led to healing (the weight and heaviness of the darkness began lifting)
Healing happened when the timing was right for her to appreciate what the Savior did for her
Everyone’s healing doesn’t come in the same way or instantaneously
She was given a unique and miraculous experience so that she could testify of healing and where it comes from
Ultimate healing comes from the Savior
15:45 - The difference between grieving and healing
Grief is the path to healing, it is part of the solution not the problem
Grief is the pain we experience that tells us we have experienced an emotional injury and we need to take care of it
19:05 - The process of grief and healing
Emotional pain is painful for those around us, we want everyone to be okay
Trust the process of grief and healing and do not rush it
21:15 - Getting trapped in the grief cycle
Going online to find support can contribute to getting stuck in our grief and pain
Richard G. Scott - It is crucial that we be active participants in our healing
Most of us know very little about grief and the process or effort required to heal
We grieve and then we pile on shame and guilt as we don’t know what to do
As a leader, the challenge is to honour their grief path and the pain they’re experiencing
25:55 - We’re not responsible for someone’s healing but we can be there to support
Support looks like accepting the pain
Sympathy = more pain
Empathy = that must be so hard
Instead of telling the person what they need, ask them how you can support them in their healing process
27:50 - Show up and answer their questions
Our presence says I love you and I care about you
No need to fear saying the wrong thing, we don’t have to have the right words
35:10 - Avoid overreacting to their emotions and concerns
Everyone’s reaction to grief is unique and different and we should not judge or dictate their healing
Whey they ask questions, that’s when we get to answer their questions rather than asserting information
41:05 - Don’t be overwhelmed trying to say the right thing
The overwhelm comes from thinking that somehow we can make it better or that there is the perfect thing to say (and there isn’t)
Just show up and it will become more comfortable the more willing you are to sit with the discomfort
46:10 - Set up a support structure
Coordinator efforts to address both the emotional needs and the physical needs
50:45 - Being sensitive to the ongoing impact of grief
The emergency situation vs. the ongoing impact of grief and loss
The ongoing impact is where the spiritual support is most needed
Stay engaged so they have someone to go to answer their questions,
Released:
May 29, 2021
Format:
Podcast episode
Titles in the series (100)
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