[E136] The Danger of Over-Responding: New Content from Dr. Karyn Purvis

[E69] The Flight Stress Response: "I'm Out and You Can't Stop Me!": The Stress Responses - you know - Fight, Flight and Freeze...well, you may be surprised to learn that there are actually 4 stress responses ("Fawn" is the fourth - don't worry, we'll cover it in great detail in a few weeks). We'll look at how you can support both yourself and those you love IN those responses! Today, we dive into the "Flight" Response. Those who experience a flight stress response have learned to avoid conflict to protect themselves. They may physically run away, attempt to change the subject, deflect with humor, or lie. The flight stress response can also be associated with over-achieving or obsessive compulsive tendencies. This instinctive reaction makes people want to flee to escape danger (real or perceived). The flight response is a helpful automatic reaction for self preservation and fleeing harm. How do we support ourselves or our people when they're in flight mode? You'll have to listen in by Empowered to Connect Podcast

54 min listen

[E73] Breaking Cycles and Raising Babies with Lisa Jean-Francois!: We step back from our earlier series today for a conversation with a young mom we've admired from a distance for a while now! Lisa Jean-Francois, better known to 61,000+ Instagram followers as @lisaalamode joins us today to tell the story of her journey from experiencing trauma as a child to now parenting her kids based on knowledge of connection and attachment, something she often refers to as "gentle parenting" or "conscious parenting." Lisa is fascinating and has an incredible story to tell - you're going to love getting to know her! A Heads Up: Lisa's story contains some honest and real moments of abuse battling suicidal thoughts, so this is an episode to use discretion on before turning it on with kids around. To learn more about all that Lisa's got going on check out her website - to follow her on Instagram, you can do that here! To learn more about Empowered to Connect, check out our website and follow us on Ins by Empowered to Connect Podcast

49 min listen

[E83] Seeing the Need Behind the Behavior with Mo and Tona Ottinger: Today, we go back to an episode from Season 1 of the show that can be particularly helpful in the throes of Spring parenting. Lets face it…sometimes our kids' behavior is perplexing. We have no idea why they are doing what they are doing. We have no idea how to make them stop and we can walk away feeling confused, defeated and even like a failure. We have behavioral expectations and if we're not careful we can allow our children's behavior to determine whether we see ourselves as a good parent or not. We can measure our success by their behavior… Why do we do that? How do we get to the root of what's ACTUALLY happening? Glad you asked - tune in today to hear how we look to see the needs being expressed behind the behavior and meet those needs to build trust and attachment. In this episode we reference several fantastic books (you should buy them all immediately): The Whole Brain Child, and Beyond Behaviors To learn by Empowered to Connect Podcast

37 min listen

[E76] Attachment: A Two Way Street in Relationships: Mo & Tona Ottinger join JD to talk about the huge shock we all felt as new parents learning that attachment is a two way street, not a finite 'start and finish' interaction. Why do our own histories and patterns of attachment matter in parenting children? How does that affect our kids and their attachment patterns and styles and what if it's too late to form a strong attachment with my child?? (Spoiler: it's never too late) Hear Mo and Tona share powerful stories from their early parenting journey, marriage and relationships in this episode of the ETC Podcast! To learn more about Empowered to Connect, check out our website and follow us on Instagram, Facebook and YouTube! by Empowered to Connect Podcast

40 min listen

[E78] Changing Systems: Trauma Informed Education with Becca McKay: How do educational systems change? How can educators, administrators and parents/caregivers partner together to help meet the unique needs of every child in school? We've asked Becca McKay, long time school social worker and Dean to come help us begin to unpack some big picture and practical ways to start the trauma informed journey in your school. Tune in to hear some practical advice for anyone working in education and stay tuned in as we turn the conversation toward parents and caregivers to share how they can effectively advocate for their children's needs to be met in appropriate and compassionate ways To learn more about ETC, check out empoweredtoconnect.org and follow us on Facebook, Instagram and YouTube! by Empowered to Connect Podcast

38 min listen

[E71] The Fawn Response: I Will and You Can't Stop Me!: The Fawn Response! The least known of all the stress responses! We relied on the work of Pete Walker from his incredible book: PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving as we crafted this episode. Stela Sinanaj, Clinical Therapist from the Memphis Family Connection Center and Becca McKay, Program Director of the ETC Institute join us to explain the ins and outs of the fawn response as well as how to better support the loved ones in your life who identify with this stress response! To learn more about Empowered to Connect, check out our website and follow us on Instagram, Facebook and YouTube! by Empowered to Connect Podcast

38 min listen

[E64] Throwback Episode: Self-Awareness is the Key to Empowered Families [E27 Replay]: We spend a lot of time on this show talking about examining self - looking at adult attachment styles, considering how to offer ourselves as co-regulators to our children, even talking about self-compassion as the true and better version of self care. Why, then, do we now look at self awareness!? We're glad you asked! Earlier this year, we asked Larissa Gregory to come join us to explain. Larissa is the head of LG Educational Consulting and works with individuals, teachers, administrations and families helping create safe, empowered spaces for children and families. After years in academic leadership, she joined us to talk about why she believes that Authentic Self Awareness is the Key to Empowered Families. Larissa gave several concrete, practical tools for us to walk away with to help restore relationship after conflict, to help restore our own mental spaces as self doubt and stress invade and more by Empowered to Connect Podcast

40 min listen

[E67] Special MLK Day Throwback Episode: How We Got Here with Dr. Charles McKinney [E2 Replay]: Today, in honor of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr Day, we felt it would be appropriate to bring back one of our favorite episodes, our episode with Dr. Charles McKinney from Season One. How did we get here? College Professor, Author and Civil Rights Historian Dr. Charles McKinney joins us to discuss the history of the civil rights struggle in America, being a black parent in 2020 and advice for transracial adoptive parents with their children of color. A word to our majority culture (white) listeners: as many have noted over the past few years, there is a deep need for listening and learning about the plight of our black and brown brothers and sisters. This conversation with Dr. McKinney is not the end all be all - rather a starting point for many of us as we journey together to bring healing and peace to our families, our communities and the systems that govern them. To connect further with our by Empowered to Connect Podcast

40 min listen

[E77] Throwback Episode: Repairing What We've Ruptured with Carissa Woodwyk [E30 Replay]: We've all done it. We've lost our temper, checked out, popped off, said something we shouldn't have or didn't say something we should have in a moment of weakness. If you're like us, you've probably already had a moment (or several) moments like this today - it's ok. Take a deep breath and let Marriage and Family Therapist Carissa Woodwyk and ETC's Tona Ottinger walk you through how to repair when you've ruptured something with yourself, your partner or a kiddo. Special heads up - be sure to listen all the way to the end to hear Carissa's perspective on this as an adoptee when she shares an intimate moment of self discovery related to her own story - you don't want to miss it. To learn more about Carissa and her work, be sure to check out her first appearance on the show here or follow her on Instagram or Facebook! To learn more about ETC, check out empoweredtoconnect.org and follow us on Faceboo by Empowered to Connect Podcast

71 min listen

[E81] Changing Systems: Trauma Informed Youth Outreach with Philip Walkley and Ally Velderman: One of the toughest things to do in the midst of running a youth outreach program is to change course - especially when it means re-training everyone involved. Despite the intense level of difficulty, however, Philip Walkley and Ally Velderman of Service Over Self in Memphis, TN knew they needed to make a change. They weren't equipped to walk with the kids they were working with through life. Hear how they made the jump to a trauma informed approach, the transformation that happened and the changes on staff on today's episode! Also don't forget to check out our friends Ryan & Rose! The team at Ryan & Rose have been big supporters of our work at Empowered to Connect for years. They make beautiful products for everyone in the family including pacifiers, pacifier clips, bottle holders, bags, journals and so much more and they've got an exclusive discount JUST FOR LISTENERS OF THE SHOW! Use code by Empowered to Connect Podcast

32 min listen

[E66] Throwback Episode: Therapy Redeemed with Cam Lee Small [E55 Replay]: One of the most highly commented on episodes of the year featured a guest we admire greatly. That person is therapist, speaker, teacher, advocate and so much more - Cam Lee Small. We've long admired his work on social media (@TherapyRedeemed on Instagram) and after meeting him for this conversation our respect and admiration of him has skyrocketed. Cam takes us into the world of mental health and adoptees and how his work both counseling and advocating for adoptees has shone light on his own story. You won't want to miss his candor and insight! You can learn more about Cam's work on his website, Instagram or Facebook page! To learn more about Empowered to Connect, check out our website and follow us on Instagram, Facebook and YouTube! by Empowered to Connect Podcast

36 min listen

[E72] Let's Talk About Lying with Robyn Gobbel: Let's talk about lying. It's time. Every time we mention lying there are exponentially more shares of content, comments, questions, dm's - all of it - so it's time to talk about it! And who better for us to talk about it with than our good friend Robyn Gobbel?? Robyn joins us to talk about ALL OF IT - why do our kids (and you and I, let's be honest) lie, how do we deal with it, what are we missing here and how can we restore connection after a break in trust due to lying? We cover all of it and more in this week's episode of the Empowered to Connect Podcast! To learn more about Empowered to Connect, check out our website and follow us on Instagram, Facebook and YouTube! by Empowered to Connect Podcast

52 min listen

[E70] The Freeze Response: I'm Out and You Can't Thaw Me!: I'm OUT and you can't thaw me - the Freeze Response is one of the toughest to handle as a parent, friend or caregiver. It can disguise itself in lots of ways, but don't worry, we're here to help! Expressive Arts Therapist Jill Stockberger and ETC Staffer Becca McKay join us to discuss how we can support ourselves and those we love when they freeze by Empowered to Connect Podcast

32 min listen

[E74] Brain-Body Parenting with Mona Delahooke!: In case you've missed the exciting news, one of our favorite authors on planet Earth, Mona Delahooke, has a new book that comes out NEXT WEEK (March 15th, 2022)! Mona joined us to tell us all about the new book and walk us through what she calls the 'bottom-up' approach to understanding the nervous system-brain connection. We talk about behaviors as indicators of needs being expressed and how when we (along with our kids) understand these dynamics, we can help them to thrive in life. Mona is one of the most brilliant, engaging and compassionate voices in the parenting world and you will LOVE listening to her talk about this stuff. To preorder 'Brain-Body Parenting' click here - to check out all of the other incredible work she's done, check out her website here! You can learn more about ETC by checking out empoweredtoconnect.org, following @empoweredtoconnect on Instagram or liking our page on Facebook! by Empowered to Connect Podcast

47 min listen

[E99] We're all Human: Rethinking How Trauma Impacts Us All: We talk about the effects of trauma a lot on the ETC Podcast - in fact - it's woven into almost everything we talk about at Empowered to Connect. One question, though: what IS trauma? How and why does it infiltrate humanity the way it does? We brought Becca McKay and Tona Ottinger on the show today to discuss that very thing and you're going to love this episode. An introduction to trauma and all that goes with it, today on the ETC Podcast. We also recently launched our monthly donor program at Empowered to Connect - listen to the intro to the show to hear all about it and head over to our donate page to become a monthly donor and score our super soft new ETC Tee for your monthly gift of $20 or more! To learn more about ETC, follow our Youtube Channel, like us on Facebook or follow us on Instagram! by Empowered to Connect Podcast

44 min listen

[E65] Throwback Episode: How to Change Social Systems with Daren Jones [E54 Replay]: Happy New Year! We're so excited to bring you one of our favorite episodes of 2021 with one of our favorite humans on earth, Daren Jones! Daren works with the Karyn Purvis Institute of Child Development (KPICD) at TCU and is passionate about seeing the systems that are INTENDED to keep our children safe - actually do so. For YEARS now, he's worked in, on and around systems that care for/protect society's most vulnerable children and has been a pivotal part of TCU's work helping bring trauma informed, compassionate, brain-science based practices into use in these systems. Hear Daren talk about everything from working in group homes to seeing infamous lockup-first family court judges become trauma-informed allies on today's episode! To learn more about Empowered to Connect, check out our website and follow us on Instagram, Facebook and YouTube! by Empowered to Connect Podcast

68 min listen

[E75] Why Attachment is So Important with Dr. Jamie DeLuna: We're beginning a brand new series on building attachment and as we prepared for the series with our team we just couldn't think of a better way to lay the foundation of understanding than to throw it back to one of our favorite episodes with Dr. Jamie DeLuna from the Karyn Purvis Institute of Child Development (KPICD) at TCU. In today's episode, one of the best researchers in her field, Dr. Jamie DeLuna from the Karyn Purvis Institute of Child Development, explains why understanding your own attachment style may be the most important thing you can do for your parenting. We talk about the neuroscience behind attachment, the different adult attachment styles, how they form and how you can 'earn' secure attachment, no matter what your childhood was like. To check out the book Jamie recommended ('How We Love') and more resources like it, you can click here. To learn more about Empowered to Connect, check out our website and fo by Empowered to Connect Podcast

48 min listen

[E82] Trauma Informed Parenting with Mo and Tona Ottinger: We've talked for weeks now on the show about how Trauma Informed Care and a Trauma Informed Approach is changing systems and societies across the globe. Today, we return to where it all started for us - Trauma Informed Parenting. We asked Mo and Tona Ottinger to share their story of moving from traditional parenting to a Trauma Informed Approach and what they shared will blow you away. Spoiler alert: it changed everything. To learn more about ETC, check out empoweredtoconnect.org and follow us on Facebook, Instagram and YouTube! by Empowered to Connect Podcast

46 min listen

[E104] We're All Human: How to Surround Your Family with the Community You Need: Today we welcome on Angie Grant and Jess Aaron, two of our newest ETC Cultivate Connection Facilitators! Angie and Jess join us to talk about the absolute non-negotiable importance of finding people to have community with as parents. They share personal stories of the moment they knew they needed help, how they began finding people to walk with and even the importance of seeking out therapeutic/professional help as you navigate parenting challenges. Necessary listening - we hope you enjoy it! To learn more about ETC, follow our Youtube Channel, like us on Facebook or follow us on Instagram! by Empowered to Connect Podcast

42 min listen

[E68] The Fight Stress Response: “I Won't - And You Can't Make Me!": The Stress Responses - chances are, you've heard of them - Fight, Flight and Freeze...well, you may be surprised to learn that there are actually 4 stress responses ("Fawn" is the fourth - don't worry, we'll cover it in great detail in a few weeks) and we are taking the next several weeks to do deep dives into each of them! We'll look at how you can support both yourself and those you love IN those responses! Today, we dive into the "Fight" Response. Those who identify with a fight stress response have learned to step up to the plate to protect themselves. This instinctive reaction often sends them into an aggressive, sometimes attack mode to fend off the danger they face - real or perceived. What's the best way to support someone with a fight response? You'll have to listen in to find out! JD, Becca and Tona walk through everything from what a stress response is to how to support those you love in the middle of those by Empowered to Connect Podcast

73 min listen

[E79] Changing Systems: Trauma Informed Children's Ministry with Paula Powell: We continue our conversation about trauma informed systems today with a look at children's ministry. Mo Ottinger and Paula Powell served together on staff at a church for years and we asked them to tell the story of transforming the child care system at their church into a trauma informed environment where every child could feel safe. You won't want to miss this episode - listen for practical applications for those working in the children's ministry field and encouragement for those who may feel the challenge is too daunting to begin! To learn more about ETC, check out empoweredtoconnect.org and follow us on Facebook, Instagram and YouTube! by Empowered to Connect Podcast

36 min listen

[E88] Connecting Practice: Balance Nurture & Structure: Today's episode is a foundational one. In the world of connected parenting, one of the primary ways we give our kids what they need is to balance the amount of nurture and structure given. Stereotypically, 'traditional' parenting tends to rely on an intense amount of structure, but can lack on nurture - while 'new age' parenting tends to rely on very high nurture, but lacks boundaries and structure in place to help give kids predictability. We all tend to go to one side or another naturally, so today we asked Jesse Faris and Becca McKay from the ETC Team to help us with some practical strategies and ideas for how to balance giving structure when needed and nurture when needed. To learn more about ETC, follow our Youtube Channel, like us on Facebook or follow us on Instagram! by Empowered to Connect Podcast

47 min listen

[E89] Connecting Practice: Meet Sensory, Emotional and Physical Needs: Has it ever felt to you like you just couldn't figure out what your kid needs in a moment? If this is you, today is your episode. We gathered some brilliant therapeutic minds to ask them what we need to know about meeting our child's physical, emotional and sensory processing needs! Hear from Speech Pathologist Annie Cornell, Occupational Therapist Luz Wolfe and Clinical Therapist Stela Sinanaj why this is so important and how to meet these needs in our kids (and just as importantly - ourselves). To learn more about ETC, follow our Youtube Channel, like us on Facebook or follow us on Instagram! by Empowered to Connect Podcast

53 min listen

[E85] The Link Between Eating Disorders, Body Image and Trauma with Whitney Trotter: Did you know that between 62%-92% of people with eating disorders have experienced trauma in their past? The research is alarming and for those of us with kids who may have experienced some kind of food insecurity or have what we might see as 'out of the ordinary' food habits, it can be paralyzing. That's why we wanted to have our friend Whitney Trotter on the show. Whitney is a registered nurse, mother and advocate and is a part of the BIPOC (Black, Indigenous and People of Color) Eating Disorders conference happening July 20-22 virtually. You can learn more about the conference and register here Whitney teaches us about eating disorders, their origins in trauma, body image issues and what to watch for in our kids when it comes to issues of food. We talk about how marginalized people groups are at higher risk for disordered eating and how transracial adoptive parents can be better prepared and inform by Empowered to Connect Podcast

26 min listen

[E95] Connecting Practice: Give Voice: Today we talk about the importance of giving our kids voice. For all humans, knowing how to negotiate to get needs met, to express to others what we need and when is a VITAL skill for survival as a human being. That is a learned skill - one that takes time, nurture and lots of practice with a trusted adult. For those of us and those of our kids who have experienced trauma, adversity and toxic stress at a young age, it can be insanely challenging and today Stela Sinanaj and Tona Ottinger join us to explain why that is and walk through exactly how to do this with our kids. To learn more about ETC, follow our Youtube Channel, like us on Facebook or follow us on Instagram! by Empowered to Connect Podcast

50 min listen

Don't Make Your Child's Race a Field Trip with Jocelyn Lee: Today we hear from one of our favorite people and recurring guests, Jocelyn Lee. Jocelyn is a Licensed School Social Worker and joins us today to elaborate on a statement she made at an ETC event years ago. We'd invited Jocelyn to give her perspective as part of a panel discussion on Transracial Adoption and she shared this thought: Don't make your child's race a field trip. Hear the reason Jocelyn said this, ways she suggests transracial adoptive parents take steps toward embracing their child's culture and so, so much more in today's episode! To learn more about ETC, follow our Youtube Channel, like us on Facebook or follow us on Instagram! by Empowered to Connect Podcast

51 min listen

[E93] Connecting Practice: Be Present!: 'Being there' matters as a parent. It's a principle that transcends parenting styles and advice - 'showing up for your kids' is on everybody's list of important things to do as a parent. What if just 'showing up' isn't enough, though? What we know as humans is that it is possible to be physically with someone without feeling like they're emotionally present. THIS is what we're talking about today when we talk about 'being present'. We brought ETC's own Anteelah Love and Becca McKay in to talk about being physically present, emotionally present and what it means to be 'attuned' to your child. This episode will give you life! To learn more about ETC, follow our Youtube Channel, like us on Facebook or follow us on Instagram! by Empowered to Connect Podcast

32 min listen

[E86] Connected Parenting: Why We Believe In It: If you're choosing to parent differently - you're going to hear about it. Friends and family have questions, onlookers give you free advice - it can be overwhelming to say the least. It's helpful, therefore, to pause every now and then and ask yourself: Why do I do this? After over 3 years of research, writing and editing, the ETC Team has completed a re-write of our 9 week Parenting Course and we can't wait to tell you all about it. We thought we'd take some time, however, and re-establish the 'why' behind this way of parenting. Tona Ottinger, Becca McKay and JD Wilson pause to talk about they 'why' in connected parenting. Join us as we examine the paths that brought us here and the connecting practices that guide us in parenting in this episode of the ETC Podcast! To learn more about ETC, follow our Youtube Channel, like us on Facebook or follow us on Instagram! by Empowered to Connect Podcast

50 min listen

[E84] Brain-Body Parenting with Mona Delahooke!: Long time friend of the program Mona Delahooke is a Pediatric Psychologist and the author of her NEW book Brain-Body Parenting as well as the groundbreaking Beyond Behaviors and several other books. If you've ever read Beyond Behaviors, you know how brilliant she is! Mona joins us today to talk about the Brain - Body - Behavior connection and why it is absolutely essential for parents and caregivers to understand. Struggling with perplexing behavior in your home? This may be the episode you've been waiting for. Wanna learn more from Mona? Buy her book Beyond Behaviors here, sign up for the Beyond Behaviors course Mona teaches here or head on over to her website to learn more about her there! To learn more about ETC, follow our Youtube Channel, like us on Facebook or follow us on Instagram! by Empowered to Connect Podcast

43 min listen

Together: A Conversation with the Adoption Triad: We are throwing it back to one of our most impactful episodes of the year for this moment. It's National Adoption Awareness Month and the perfect time to revisit this conversation between a Birth Mother (Ashley Mitchell), Adoptee (Carissa Woodwyk) and Adoptive Mother (Tona Ottinger). What if instead of being separated into our corners of the triad focusing on what makes us different we found ourselves drawn together through our similarities? Join us on this episode where Tona is joined by her dear friends Carissa Woodwyk and Ashley Mitchell. Together they represent the three parts of the adoption triad in all of its brokenness, beauty, pain and possibility. This conversation is courageous, bold, heartfelt, and raw as it invites us to reimagine moving TOGETHER towards connection, hope, healing and wholeness. To learn more about Empowered to Connect, visit us on our website, find us on Facebook, follow us on Instagram or check out all o by Empowered to Connect Podcast

107 min listen

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[E136] The Danger of Over-Responding: New Content from Dr. Karyn Purvis

[E136] The Danger of Over-Responding: New Content from Dr. Karyn Purvis

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