Is your perception of BDSM and kink informed by the infamous Fifty Shades of Gray?   Even though the Fifty Shades franchise does a lot to bring BDSM to the mainstream, it also get a lot of things wrong. Particularly one of BDSM’s key principles, negotiating consent.   Sara and co-host Kat sit down with Jannus of KinkBites — a veteran kinkster, community organizer, and Hong Kong dungeon manager — to lament the Fifty Shades effect, and the myths and misconceptions around BDSM that it perpetuates.   We talk about how the “church of kink” is full of variety (and not all about pain) and how kinky people come from all walks of life. Jannus’s shares his own personal introduction to kink – when his desire to learn how to do better drag resulted in a fateful encounter with Mistress Decima, Hong Kong’s “Godmother of Kink”.   Jannus provides recommendations to beginners and newbies who want to get started with BDSM. He sheds light on common BDSM terminology, what toys one can start with, dating as a kinky person and how to introduce a vanilla partner to your kinks. All in a fun, non-threatening, consensual manner.  --- How confident a lover are you? Take the quiz For more sex-positive resources, visit Sarasense Or follow us on Instagram Detailed show notes for this episode here. P.S. If you’ve gotten value from this podcast, I’d really appreciate it if you subscribed and left a review. :)