77: Hit It With Something Wet

FromHello Dysfunction

Start listening View podcast show

77: Hit It With Something Wet

FromHello Dysfunction

ratings:

Length:

96 minutes

Released:

Apr 22, 2020

Format:

Podcast episode

Description

Our brains are getting bored and we’re all dreamers. Home school is stressful. Health over capitalism. Must see show/film recommendations. Frankenstein is freezing and it’s a shitty time for a money scam. Crystal takes us down a dark path about cleanliness and if you don’t want to barter w your landlord don't ruin it for everyone else.

Enjoy.

Released:

Apr 22, 2020

Format:

Podcast episode

Titles in the series (100)

Childhood best friends, Pata Fria and Crystal share the personal dysfunction in their lives, view on news, gossip, politics and so much more. Nothing is off limits, and everything is funny.

Skip carousel

2: Dark Web: This episode requires a trigger warning. Serious issues are discussed including domestic violence, sex work/safety, murder, child abusers, and child molestation. The duo also touches on lighthearted subjects; The slut walk, favorite podcasts, birth cha... by Hello Dysfunction
87 min listen
29: I Like To Get Stretched: After an interesting weekend episode 29 covers it all. Pata Fria had a panic, Crystal Barbie and family keep things interesting. Some info and details about kink life, sugar daddies are just older boyfriends, a few celebrity news stories, Planet Fitn... by Hello Dysfunction
103 min listen
1: Purple Taser: For episode one, Pata Fria and Crystal Barbie come out with a bang. The girls start off discussing Pata Fria's recent BBL (Brazilian Butt Lift), crazy Florida stories, the infamous purple taser, mental illness, medication and Crystal accidentally seein... by Hello Dysfunction
118 min listen
12: The Playboy Club: Mental health, toxic relationship behavior, and why Crystal should never enter a church kick off this week's episode. The girls also talk about period sex, shitty celebrities, pervy friends, and Pata Fria's love of shock sites. The holidays, childhood ... by Hello Dysfunction
89 min listen
3: Tether Ball: In this tell all episode Pata Fria and Crystal Barbie open up and share everything about themselves. Secrets are spilled. They discuss mental health, why we (women) settle for the bare minimum, and the difference between pedophiles and cougars. ... by Hello Dysfunction
109 min listen
6: Gas Station Salad & Dirty Sanchez: The dysfunctional duo is back, and unapologetically unfiltered while discussing sex dolls, g-spot location, open marriages, liars, and prison relationships. They are breaking it down and dissecting so listen up. Subscribe to our mailing list for upd... by Hello Dysfunction
99 min listen
18: Foreskin & Pepper Spray: This week's discussion includes circumcision, pubic hair preferences, parental enablers, the new abortion law, birth control tips, war on sex workers, views on Future and Chris Brown, how to avoid being roofied, and why you should always double check y... by Hello Dysfunction
136 min listen
15: Stay Outta The Creek: Dog rescues, R. Kelly's bullshit, disturbing childhood stories, bullying, some parenting tips, and dirty creek rendezvous. Trigger warning- sexual assault, grooming and other sensitive issues are discussed. https://hellodysfunction.com Instagram... by Hello Dysfunction
111 min listen
9: Weird Sex: The holidays are here, and so is the dysfunction. This week the duo are talking about weird news, the online attack on sex-workers, favorite porn, a mirror ghost, and penis size. The girls close out with some listener questions, crazy sex, and a few fu... by Hello Dysfunction
111 min listen
4: Grandma Candy & Pocket Cheese: This week the deviant duo return with even more dysfunction. Vaginal hygiene, loving people while they're here, Halloween, ghost stories and superstitions. Later in the show they answer some listener questions, talk about male hygiene and a Dom story t... by Hello Dysfunction
108 min listen
7: I'm A Doctor: From chemtrails, to California fires, to Pata Fria's burn unit vagina story, this week the girls are on fire, literally. The duo also goes over premature ejaculation, tampons vs. diva cups, racism, and a ghost story. This episode is packed with self-lo... by Hello Dysfunction
104 min listen
10: Parental Advisory: This week the dysfunctional duo are offering up parental advice of all sorts. From the Hawaiian Pine-sol event, apologizing to your children, walking the parent/friend line, and teaching your children gratitude. The girls also touch on dick pics, "porn... by Hello Dysfunction
105 min listen
17: Are You International?: This week's episode wishes a happy birthday to MLK, touches on some current political dysfunction, the raising of older kids, the effects of drugs and mental illness on a family. Crystal's unhealthy ice cream addiction and bizarre eating habits, pledge... by Hello Dysfunction
103 min listen
8: Curing Rickets: Crystal’s father Big Billy is here and the dysfunction is outta control. "I didn't do drugs before I was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia, I just smoked pot, did acid and rode my motorcycle." Buckle up motherf$^#*s…. Subscribe to our maili... by Hello Dysfunction
97 min listen
11: Gramma's Heart Attack: This week the dysfunction gets a bit serious. The girls are discussing kaiser's strike, losing virginity, relationship advice, holding grudges, a few very personal stories, and more crying (what's new). Of course the mood is lightened with some of Pata... by Hello Dysfunction
94 min listen
13: "Cheese Sandwiches": This week the chaos of Christmas, vintage tips on how to snag a husband, Karma and a false birth control method are all discussed. Crystal shares some family dysfunction and we find out why you shouldn't tell Pata Fria you own a restaurant. Happy Holid... by Hello Dysfunction
83 min listen
14: God's Well: It's New Year's Eve and in this final episode of 2018, Pata Fria and Crystal discuss the new year, white parents w mixed children, repairing your credit, being a submissive Christian wife, how Pata Fria got scammed on craigslist and having foul-mouthed... by Hello Dysfunction
92 min listen
16: So Fuckin Majestic: The following are Rob's guy notes: 1\. Range rover white girl curves 2\. Pata watched netflix and been on her meds 3\. Back page and cryptocurrency 4\. Minimalism 5\. Documentary disagreements 6\. Sexworkers 7\. Good karma moments ... by Hello Dysfunction
102 min listen
$16: So Fuckin Majestic: The following are Rob's guy notes: 1\. Range rover white girl curves 2\. Pata watched netflix and been on her meds 3\. Back page and cryptocurrency 4\. Minimalism 5\. Documentary disagreements 6\. Sexworkers 7\. Good karma moments ...$
5: The Stolen Car: It's episode five, and the dysfunction continues. This week the girls are talking about adults that don't do oral, scissoring, pegging, and the time Pata taught Crystal how to drive a stolen car. The girls take some listener questions, give a PSA about... by Hello Dysfunction
98 min listen
41: They're Definitely Neighbors by Hello Dysfunction
93 min listen
20: Two for Twomp: This week starts off w some celebrity drama, blackface fashion becoming an intentional trend, it's Black History Month, grey sweats are for bachelors only, pathological liars, Pata shares an unfortunate incident (trigger warning: a sexual assault is di... by Hello Dysfunction
113 min listen
27: YOU WEAR FAKE TOES??: Episode 27 is full of random subjects and theories...we revisit chem trails, the effect hairstyles can have on a person, STRONG animal love, sex workers tend to steal, Crystal doesn't eat food or wear panties, Pata Fria completely misunderstood an eBay... by Hello Dysfunction
113 min listen
37: Piss over ice by Hello Dysfunction
134 min listen
19: Everything Is Gay: This week there's some talk about problematic celebrities, the beginning of Black History Month, our shitty government, how the internet really can be great, interesting animal facts, listener questions and a story about bikers undoing their pants. ... by Hello Dysfunction
109 min listen
25: Would You F*ck My Dead Body?: This week is episode 25 and the dysfunction continues with an array of interesting subjects. Some advice is offered to their younger selves, astronauts get a lot of herpes, some women really love dick pics, the French appreciate gross smells, can you r... by Hello Dysfunction
96 min listen
50: There IS a limit to a mother’s love by Hello Dysfunction
94 min listen
33: "I Murdered Alicia Keys": Episode 33 kicks off with a recap of Crystal's hectic week, a ghost joined the Dom session, weird sex laws, uncomfortable dreams and more. Enjoy. rate us on iTunes Instagram @Hellodysfunction www.facebook.com/HelloDysfunction Twitter @dysf... by Hello Dysfunction
93 min listen
21: Stop Petting The Cat and Finish: This week opens up with a Valentine's Day recap, some parental stress and a warning about Love Potion. Weird news, a 3D printable death chamber and interesting poop preferences are also shared. Some listener questions are answered followed by a disturb... by Hello Dysfunction
127 min listen
56: “Two Live Crew” by Hello Dysfunction
78 min listen
The Yee Yee Girls (bonus Episode) by Hello Dysfunction
19 min listen

More Episodes from Hello Dysfunction

Skip carousel

258: White Death Paste by Hello Dysfunction
85 min listen
257: Hide The Crack by Hello Dysfunction
87 min listen
256: It's Still About Me by Hello Dysfunction
86 min listen
255: I'm Gifted by Hello Dysfunction
76 min listen
254: The Rodeo Raper by Hello Dysfunction
98 min listen
253: Leave William Alone by Hello Dysfunction
128 min listen
252: Freak Show Menu by Hello Dysfunction
79 min listen
251: Sophia by Hello Dysfunction
109 min listen
250: Don't Doorbell Ditch by Hello Dysfunction
85 min listen
249: The Truth Ain't in You by Hello Dysfunction
104 min listen
248: Cement Shoes by Hello Dysfunction
94 min listen
247: Why Aren't We Purging? by Hello Dysfunction
76 min listen
246: Young Sicko by Hello Dysfunction
83 min listen
245: Rigamarole by Hello Dysfunction
94 min listen
244: Donald Duck Setup by Hello Dysfunction
101 min listen
243: Manipulative Bowel Movement by Hello Dysfunction
80 min listen
242: Professor of Rats by Hello Dysfunction
74 min listen
241: It's GOODNIGHT by Hello Dysfunction
78 min listen
240: My Dad's Dick by Hello Dysfunction
101 min listen
239: I'm Sorry Officer by Hello Dysfunction
89 min listen
238: Watermelon and Hammer Pants by Hello Dysfunction
84 min listen
237: A Product of a Sex Appointment by Hello Dysfunction
87 min listen
236: Another Horny Scorpio by Hello Dysfunction
72 min listen
235: Thank You White People by Hello Dysfunction
103 min listen
234: Happy Halloween by Hello Dysfunction
61 min listen
233: It's My Birthday by Hello Dysfunction
92 min listen
232: Insatiable by Hello Dysfunction
81 min listen
231: Funky Clown by Hello Dysfunction
79 min listen
230: Happy Birthday HD by Hello Dysfunction
75 min listen
229: Possible Meteor by Hello Dysfunction
95 min listen

Related podcast episodes

Skip carousel

Ep 57 - The Red Herring by The Deadly Dose
79 min listen
197: Couch Ham by Hello Dysfunction
78 min listen
Evolution of Dads w/ Duncan Trussell | Where My Moms At? Ep. 206: This week Christina P is joined by comedian and long time friend, Duncan Trussell. If there's anyone Christina talk to about her alien conspiracies, its Duncan. Christina and Duncan get philosophical about UAPs, default reality, Ram Dass, and dishwashing at Applebee's. The conversation takes a turn into worldly dangers that these parents are trying to protect their children from like creeps at Schlitterbahn and butthole hair removal videos. The internet is a scary place and what tops it all are the Instagram moms. They try to portray a perfect life, but Duncan sees right through it. The reality is that dads like Duncan and Tom are stressed from all the video games and war content they consume, among other fatherly duties. Equally, Christina relates to the stressed moms, especially the ones with toddlers. They wrap up the episode with the horrifying reality of doctors appointment for your genitalia. Christina and Duncan d by Where My Moms At? w/ Christina P.
83 min listen
Being Mortal: by Atul Gawande by What You Will Learn
32 min listen
Fatal Attraction (1987) vs Basic Instinct (1992): Episode 38 of Clash of the Titles is here! The podcast that pits two films with something in common against each other in a brutal fight to the death. Well, not death. We just decide which one is better. Or which would you rather watch with yo... by Clash Of The Titles - a movie podcast!
127 min listen
248: Cement Shoes by Hello Dysfunction
94 min listen
184: It's Ramen Time by Hello Dysfunction
75 min listen
Ep. 144 - Mad At Batman - Where My Moms At w/ Christina: SPOILER ALERT! Christina P is back for another episode and is excited to reveal she was able to sneak away from the kids and go hate-watch Batman in the theaters! We hear some follow-ups on participation awards, Wendy's Chili, and dips! We discuss the working girls of the internets, and Christina has a revelation about her mother going to dates at an adult theater. Christina reviews some Mom Hacks, contemplates getting herself an adult nanny, and talks music and life with Sad Chad. We brainstorm a water drinking solution and she figures out how her pajama bottoms are getting soaked! by Where My Moms At? w/ Christina P.
83 min listen
Ep. 38 - Quaranting w/ Katia Morton via Skype - Where My Moms At w/ Christina P.: WHERE MY MOMS AT!? It's the show by the Moms for the Moms. Hosted by everybody's favorite "cool mom" Christina P! Not only the most REAL show for moms, but the most interactive. An open place to admit no one really knows what they're doing. We're all quarantined up! It's crazy times in the world and we're doing our best to cope! Christina shares what she's been doing to calm herself down and even skypes with Kati Morton to see how a mental health professional is dealing with it all! We share mom hacks, mom fails, and follow up on all your submissions! Christina P. wants to hear from you since she is seriously lacking in cool mom friends. If you want to share a "Mom Fail" or "Mom Hack" please call into our voicemail (213)375-5184 and let Christina know! We want to talk to as many moms across America as we can. by Where My Moms At? w/ Christina P.
70 min listen
Crystal Flores of The Grateful Death - Embracing The Journey's End: Death Doula Crystal Flores of The Grateful Death joins us this week! by No Simple Road
97 min listen
Too Busy For Women - MTP368: Co-Host Julie Ferman (https://mountaintoppodcast.com/ferman) My guest is a well-known matchmaker who I should have had on the show ages ago, in large part because in many ways she's like my sister from a different mother. She's hilarious, unoffendable... by The Mountain Top - Masculine Men Get Women
51 min listen
PNTV - The Places that Scare You by Pema Chodron: We've all got places that scare us and in her great book, Pema Chodrön helps us shine a compassionate light on them. We'll explore some Brilliant Ideas including the fact that being mad at someone and holding a grudge is kinda like eating rat... by Heroic with Brian Johnson | Activate Your Best. Every Day.
11 min listen
Listener Q+A: Part 2 by The Yummy Mummy Podcast with Laura Conley
27 min listen
217: When a Man Loves a Woman by Hello Dysfunction
67 min listen
537. Romance Cliché Throwdown with Amanda: "Virginity smells like burritos." by Smart Podcast, Trashy Books: A Romance Novel Podcast
46 min listen
Opal & The Grandiose Narcissist - Narcissistic & Emotional Abuse Survivor: Brandon talks with Opal about her toxic relationship with a grandiose narcissist. It’s a story of push/pulls, enmeshed personal and business lives, the fear of failure, and putting your self worth into someone else’s hands. by Narcissist Apocalypse: Patterns of Abuse
110 min listen
let’s talk about pronouns, baby! by What Fresh Hell Is This? With Stanzi Potenza
21 min listen
209: Big Mama by Hello Dysfunction
61 min listen
Ep. 160 - I'm Being Heckled - Where My Moms At w/ Christina P: Needing some inspiration this week? Christina has plenty of that for you on this episode with the return of her That's Deep Bro segment. In it, you'll hear her thoughts on being broke at 30, keeping your dreams a secret while you incubate your ideas, and the problem with playing it safe. She also discusses some of the bad advice she's gotten over the years and why she doesn't like giving notes to young comedians. Finally, she reveals how being heckled by someone close to her pushed her to accomplish more. Remember, you don't need anyone's support other than your own, it's okay to be a loser sometimes, and eagles fly alone so be an eagle! Enjoy. by Where My Moms At? w/ Christina P.
70 min listen
Ep. 152 - Off The Clock w/ Kati Morton - Where My Moms At w/ Christina: Licensed therapist Kati Morton joins us this week! We discuss getting worn down by kids, having a safe space for yourself in your home, and codependency issues. Kati and Christina talk about the differences between men and women, how the definitions for mental health are always changing, and how much better it used to be back in the day. by Where My Moms At? w/ Christina P.
92 min listen
Mother Death (Intermediate): Having Death as your mother must be great! You'd never die. Right...? by Easy Stories in English
22 min listen
"Tell Her I'm Back" - Suriel Hotline by The Read Receipts
38 min listen
Not a regular mom, a cool mom: Today in Tishland, she learns that computers mirror you so your reflection is the opposite of what you think it would be. Your hosts also try to differentiate between Logan and Jake Paul, but whichever one created Prime, Tish thanks you. by Sorry We're Stoned with Tish & Brandi Cyrus
53 min listen
90 Day Fiance: The Other Way "The Glow Soon Becomes Ashes" by Tender Loving Care...?
57 min listen
A Hundred Years Ago... by Shortcomings
73 min listen
Ep 46: Nurses Shafted and Suella's Right Wing Jolly to Rwanda: Butlins or Detention Centre? by The Trawl
31 min listen
Yellowjackets - 207 Burial by Yellowjackets Buzz
112 min listen
S3E8: How To Survive a Quarantine Vol 1: Board Games: We're here to help you get through these crazy and uncertain days. Our first quarantine episode is on our favorite (and least favorite) board games, family games, card games and more. We cover everything from Cards Against Humanity, Gloomhaven, Ticket to Ride, Settlers of Catan, Nefarious, Terraforming Mars, The Mind, and many more. Our very own Courtney Dempsey talks about her upcoming cosplay projects and life without work (she's one of the many bartenders out of work at the moment). Be sure to check out her patreon cosplay page. What are some of your favorite board/family games? Be sure to like and follow us on Twitter // Facebook // Pinterest // Instagram // YouTube // iTunes // Soundcloud // Spotify#coronavirus #covid19 #quarantine #lockdown #podcast #boardgames #familygames #cardgames #cardsagainsthumanity #gloomhaven #magicthegathering #tickettoride #settlersofcatan #themind #terraformingmars #nefarious #starwars #monopoly # by Zero Dark Nerdy - Pop Culture Podcast
23 min listen
S3E13: ”The Zeppo”: Xander Harris just wants to be cool. But what is his thing? He’s tried watching girls while they change, cheating on his girlfriend with his best friend, and generally not taking responsibility for his fragile masculinity. Nothing has worked! Then he get... by Prophecy Girls: A Buffy Rewatch Podcast
81 min listen
The Meow of the Misunderstood Cat with Brains On: The Meow of the Misunderstood Cat with Brains On by Tumble Science Podcast for Kids
15 min listen

Discover this podcast and so much more

77: Hit It With Something Wet

77: Hit It With Something Wet

Description

Titles in the series (100)

More Episodes from Hello Dysfunction

Related podcast episodes