2 Why Your Family of Origin Impacts Your Life More Than Anything Else

10 The Trauma of Abandonment with Gary B: Gary explains what brought him to begin engaging his story. Through counseling with Brent Curtis, Gary came to realize that there were several characters in his life story who had a profound influence on his heart and life. Gary tells a story that... by The Place We Find Ourselves

37 min listen

4 The Trauma of Being Unprotected with Gary: Gary began engaging his story in a deep way when he was in his 50’s. In this episode, Gary shares a story of being humiliated by his elementary school teacher with his Mom standing right next to him. It is a story of mockery, but far more a story of... by The Place We Find Ourselves

53 min listen

2 Why Your Family of Origin Impacts Your Life More Than Anything Else: Your story started with your relationship with your parents. Every child needs 6 things from his or her parents. In this episode, I discuss these “Big Six” needs. I also explain two kinds of relational styles that result from being either... by The Place We Find Ourselves

32 min listen

20 Affect Regulation: Why It's Critical For Everyday Life: “Affect” refers to your moment by moment experience of your internal bodily sensations. Think of affect on a scale of 1-10, where 1 represents completely numb and shut down and 10 represents panic, rage, or terror. On this scale, 5-6 represents a... by The Place We Find Ourselves

30 min listen

8 When Your Story of Sexual Abuse Is Not Believed: In today’s episode, I have a very honest and vulnerable conversation with Robyn about sexual abuse. We talk candidly about how our bodies respond with arousal even when there is profound violation occurring. Robyn tells the story of confronting her... by The Place We Find Ourselves

47 min listen

27 God Made Our Brain To Need Others with KJ Ramsey: In today’s episode I talk with KJ Ramsey about how her suffering has forced her to rely on other people for help. There are times when our suffering puts us on the floor—either literally or metaphorically. Today, KJ talks about the rather... by The Place We Find Ourselves

41 min listen

18 Why Your Story Makes It Hard To Hope: Hope is flat out agonizing. Hope requires that you groan inwardly while, at the same time, waiting expectantly. The alternatives to hope are a deadening of desire and a growing cynicism about what you can really expect from life in this world. Indeed,... by The Place We Find Ourselves

35 min listen

7 How Your Attachment Style Affects The Way You Relate To Other People: If you want to understand your relationships, you need to understand your attachment style. In this episode, I explain the three types of insecure attachment and discuss how you can identify your own attachment style. My website: Contact me at: by The Place We Find Ourselves

46 min listen

22 Why the Practice of Awareness Heals Your Brain with Terry Bohn: In the near future, I am going to address how healing happens in the brain. But there is a prerequisite to healing, there is something that you have to be growing in if you are going to experience healing. And that something is awareness. Awareness... by The Place We Find Ourselves

39 min listen

3 The Trauma of School Shaming with Mandy by The Place We Find Ourselves

45 min listen

16 Why Lament (Surprisingly) Leads to Life and Freedom: If you take your story and your wounds seriously, then sooner or later you will find yourself disoriented by tragedy and heartache. The invitation at this point is to lament. When was the last time you just poured out your feelings to God—before... by The Place We Find Ourselves

31 min listen

49 Struggling with Sexuality: How Understanding Your Story Can (Surprisingly) Help with Jay Stringer: This is the episode about sexuality, lust, fantasy… and your story. Are you curious about how your story can help you understand your current sexual struggles? Jay Stringer presents a surprising—and deeply refreshing—approach to understanding... by The Place We Find Ourselves

34 min listen

19 The Path To Healing: Why It's So Important To Find Kindness For The Younger You: Jason reflects on why he began engaging his story and what that process looked like for him. Jason began addressing his story as part of a story group... but (surprising twist) his father just happened to be a participant in that group! In today’s... by The Place We Find Ourselves

35 min listen

6 When Your Femininity Is Assaulted with Tracy: In today’s episode, Tracy courageously shares one of her stories with us. Born to a family longing for a boy, the war against her femininity began early. Tracy learned that attention with her father could be won by performing well in sports,... by The Place We Find Ourselves

51 min listen

9 Why Engaging Your Story Requires Anger at God: Sometimes, “the place we find ourselves” is a place of anger at God. Some of us grew up in Christian sub-cultures in which anger at God was not allowed. If you were angry at God for too long, you had a sense that there was something wrong with... by The Place We Find Ourselves

34 min listen

11 Implicit Memory: The Thing That's Running Your Life: When it comes to how and why you react to things the way you do, nothing is more important than implicit memory. Do you ever feel intense emotion that you know is “more than the situation calls for”? Perhaps you think of these experiences as... by The Place We Find Ourselves

29 min listen

1 Why Engaging Your Story Is The Best Thing You Can Do For Your Brain: It turns out that the practice of reflecting on the story of your life actually promotes healing in your brain. There are two reasons for this: Brain health is a function of the degree to which all parts of your brain are connected... by The Place We Find Ourselves

37 min listen

32 How Life Can Come From Death with Christy Bauman: In today’s episode, Christy Bauman and I talk candidly about the reality of wounds in this life. What does it mean to enter the wounded places in one another’s hearts? And can genuine goodness really come from places of death? You can read more... by The Place We Find Ourselves

36 min listen

21 From Shattered to Whole: Reclaiming Innocence, Beauty, and Hope with Laurie: Laurie tells us how and why she began to engage her story at a deeper level. She then shares a story from when she was 12 years old. It’s a story in which her sense of innocence, beauty, and hope were shattered in an instant. We talk about how she... by The Place We Find Ourselves

50 min listen

14 How to Overcome the Shame of Sexual Abuse with Scott: In today’s episode, I talk to a fellow therapist named Scott. Scott leads groups for men who have a history of sexual abuse. Today, Scott talks about part of what it looked like for him to engage his own story of sexual abuse. In particular, we... by The Place We Find Ourselves

38 min listen

46 Warfare Part 5 : Addressing Accusations: In Warfare Part 5, we look at how to wage war against the kingdom of darkness. Warfare move #1 is to pay attention to your life and question the voices, particularly the voices of accusation that you hear throughout your day. The first tactic in... by The Place We Find Ourselves

22 min listen

34 Your Kingdom: The Purpose of Counseling: Many times clients have said to me, “What is the ultimate purpose of counseling anyway?” Their question is excellent because it grows out of their sense that healing alone is not enough. Deep down, we all intuitively know that we are made for more... by The Place We Find Ourselves

32 min listen

26 How Healing Happens Part 3: Often the place we find ourselves is a place of desert, of wilderness, of valley. Indeed these are places of death. And they are real and they are part of the process of healing. But they are not the last word. Today we look at what happens when you... by The Place We Find Ourselves

32 min listen

12 Why Trauma Makes It Hard to Trust Your Gut with Janet: One of the byproducts of trauma is that you lose a sense of being able to trust your body. You begin to distrust your gut knowledge of what is true because the people around you question your reality. In today’s episode, Janet explains how this has... by The Place We Find Ourselves

50 min listen

5 Attachment: What It Is and Why It Matters So Much: The way you attached to your primary caregiver shaped your brain more than anything else. Attachment refers to the manner in which you connect with others. It’s the emotional bond that you develop with the people you are closest to—the people who... by The Place We Find Ourselves

31 min listen

23 How to Engage a Parent Who Has Harmed You with Autumn: Autumn reads a story that is a beautiful illustration of what it can look like to engage a parent who has done harm. This story is from a very recent time in Autumn’s life when she found herself caring for her sick mother. For all of its redemptive... by The Place We Find Ourselves

43 min listen

36 How A Story From Kindergarten Can Change Your Brain For Decades: This is really two episodes in one. In the first half we talk about sexual abuse that doesn’t involve physical touch, also known as subtle sexual abuse or covert sexual abuse. In the second half, Sandy graciously reads a story from when she was in... by The Place We Find Ourselves

43 min listen

40 Love and War: Attachment and Intimate Relationships: Today’s episode focuses on how attachment styles play out in close relationships. I am joined by Rachel Blackston, who is a therapist in Orlando, Florida. Rachel begins today’s conversation by reading an essay about love and war in her marriage.... by The Place We Find Ourselves

45 min listen

28 Forgiveness: What It's Not: What does it mean to forgive? Today, Robyn and I talk about what forgiveness is NOT. In particular, we discuss the very problematic notion of “forgive and forget.” Does forgiveness really entail “forgetting the offense and never talking about it... by The Place We Find Ourselves

25 min listen

17 What It Looks Like To Actually Grieve Your Wounds: In my second conversation with Andrew Bauman, we engage the whole question of “What does it mean to actually grieve?” If you enjoy my conversation with Andrew, you may want to either pickup a copy of his forthcoming book called or spend 37... by The Place We Find Ourselves

39 min listen

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2 Why Your Family of Origin Impacts Your Life More Than Anything Else

2 Why Your Family of Origin Impacts Your Life More Than Anything Else

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