It took a long time for Gabrielle Union to realize she had the wrong idea of success in Hollywood. That idea came from growing up in Nebraska, in white spaces, where she often embraced a role as 'the black friend.' But in Hollywood she grew to reject those roles. Now her priorities are her own, and she's learned hard lessons about what to pay attention to — and what to ignore. In this episode of The Limits, Union tells Jay Williams how she learned to stand up for herself, why 'balance' is a myth, about her journey with surrogacy, and how she and her husband — former NBA star Dwayne Wade — overcame a turbulent time in their relationship. Union is an actor, activist, producer, and entrepreneur. She is the author of We're Going to Need More Wine: Stories That Are Funny, Complicated, and True and You Got Anything Stronger? For sponsor-free episodes, weekly bonus content, and more, subscribe to The Limits Plus at plus.npr.org/thelimits. Follow Jay on Instagram and Twitter. Email us at thelimits@npr.org.