Suffering from withdrawals from candy hearts and someone whispering sweet nothings into your crusty ears? Well, let us cure what ails you with a review of Valentine from 2001. That's right, the movie that launched David Boreanaz's film career to... what... oh, I am thinking of The Rock. Which one is David Boreanaz then? Why am I typing my stream of consciousness?
The film is a very loose adaptation of the novel of the same name by Tom Savage. Both works center around a revenge plot by a nerd, who has been cruelly ridiculed. In the film, the young welp was accused of sexually assaulting a girl, who withdrew her consent for a clandestine smooch session after a group of boys found them and she became ashamed. Years later, the nerd, who's got a great parlor trick of making his nose bleed virtually whenever, goes on a killing spree against that girl and her friends. Interestingly, he does not beat up the boys who tear his pants off and beat him up in the middle of a school dance, but maybe they will be in the sequel... that they are DEFINITELY making... after almost 20 years. 
The serial killer gives threatening valentine cards to each of the victims. We talk about why that was a bad idea and how he should have diverted the arts and crafts time to better plotting out his murder spree. 
Aside from Boreanaz and Denise Richards, there are no real big time actors in the film. Now, we can have a chicken/ egg debate if they did not have worthwhile careers, which is why they accepted a part in this film, or if appearing in this film all but ensured that they would not get work elsewhere, but this is the description of a podcast, and there is no moderator, so let's bookmark that idea for later. 
The film has not aged very well in certain ways, but showing how obtuse and arguably toxic men could be 20 years ago, through the #metoo lens of today, adds a layer to what would otherwise be an underwhelming movie. 
We also talk about the connections between this film and the Urban Legends franchise. This is actually how director, Jamie Blanks, got his gig on Valentine. 
What do you think of the Cherub getup? Is the statuesque mask creepy or hoaky? How does the costume compare to the legendary slashers of the Halloween, Friday the 13th, and A Nightmare on Elm Street franchises? Let us know at slasherspod@gmail.com.
This week's "Hidden Track" is The Hathors by Tsunami Bomb. We are huge fans of this band and have been for decades by this point. Please support them and let them know how you found them! https://tsunamibomb.bandcamp.com/album/the-spine-that-binds ; https://tsunamibomb.net/ ; https://www.facebook.com/tsunamibombofficial/
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Theme song is I wanna Die by Mini Meltdowns. https://open.spotify.com/artist/5ZAk6lUDsaJj8EAhrhzZnh ; https://minimeltdowns.bandcamp.com/

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