Episode 324 – I guess it’s my pride.  It’s ego which is not a good thing.  It’s almost a year and I realized, OMG, it’s the best year of my life.   Bobbie took her last drink on December 16, 2019.  She is from upstate New York.    This is her journey of living alcohol free (AF).   Finding Your Better You – Odette’s weekly message.   Odette was inspired by Brian who hosted one of the Café RE chats.  Evolution of sobriety isn’t always linear or a straight shot.  We assume it will be an upgrade.  However, sobriety can be messy.  You can feel stuck and get into victim mentality.    Odette compared sobriety to a puzzle.  Sometimes it can feel like we are going backwards.  When looking at the puzzle, we grab different pieces.  Sometimes the piece doesn’t fit, but we make a mental note and later in the journey, the puzzle piece fits.  Traveling backwards is common because the tool or lesson may have not made sense at the time, but it does later in the journey.    Everything has a purpose and it’s there for a reason. We don’t always see the bigger picture.  We need to accept that unlike a puzzle …. the journey never ends.  There is no destination, it’s about the journey.  It’s not about being (un)loveable, morality, making mistakes, it’s about discovering our wholeness.    We don’t quit quitting.  It’s about resilience.    [11:59]  Odette introduces Bobbie     Bobbie took her last drink on December 16, 2019 She lives in snowy upstate New York.  She has family in Connecticut.  She has two business that she launched in 2020.  She loves volleyball, reading, puzzles, Zumba and is learning how to adjust the fun in our new environment.    [13:54] Tell us about your history with drinking?   Bobbie started drinking at 15.  She remembers the first time she got caught for drinking.  Her biological father was an alcoholic.  She knew she shouldn’t drink because she didn’t want to be like her father.    Growing up, Bobbie spent a lot of time with people in recovery because there was a lot of addiction in her family.  She went to Al-Ateen and many AA picnics.  She believes that she developed an addiction to gambling because she was trying to avoid an addiction to drinking.  She resented having to go to these events because it wasn’t her problem.  Now her view has evolved.  She didn’t embrace anything 12-step until 2017.   [17:32]   What was your trajectory of drinking vs. gambling?   Bobbie said she was a truck driver in her early twenties.  She didn’t party when she was driving.  She drank to excess on the weekends which she felt was normal because everyone was doing it. In her thirties she drank with her husband (he was the DD).  She was gambling in the background, but her drinking was a problem.  In 2017 she went to rehab and focused on gambling first.    She went to rehab on her own accord.  She had an executive level job, but all her perceived obstacles were removed.  She owed it to herself to address her addictions.  She was getting in trouble at work events.   [21:06] How long were you at the rehab center?   Bobbie said she was in rehab for 28 days.  Rehab left quite an impression.  She was in the gambling wing.  Her freedom was removed because she couldn’t even choose when to take a shower.  It felt like a cross between summer camp and jail.  She knew she needed to focus on herself and didn’t want to ever lose her freedom again.    [23:51] How did you handle being in the gambling wing versus the drug and alcohol wing of rehab?   Bobbie said that they were not allowed to interact with people in the drug and alcohol wing.  Everything was separate.   Before entering rehab, Bobbie interviewed for a job.   She left rehab at 28 days (vs 30) and went to after care.  She was called out frequently for drinking.  The aftercare team didn’t hold back.  In 2019 Bobbie decided not to use alcohol as a coping mechanism.  She discovered Café RE in 2018 and knew she needed to focus on her drinking.    Bobbie was frustrated that alcohol was a problem when she