Finally Stop Procrastinating: When Nothing Else Works, Unlock Your Hidden Power to Succeed

By Linda Gannaway

 It's Time to Stop Procrastinating. And Now You Can!

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FINALLY! A procrastination book that goes beyond time management and goal setting techniques to help you find and release the internal blocks that have been holdi

• Language: English
• Publisher: TCS Communications LLC
• Release date: Dec 7, 2023
• ISBN: 9780998506678

Linda Gannaway

Dr. Gannaway has been fascinated with procrastination for years because of her own struggles to get things done. She taught her first class on procrastination when she was a pre-doctoral intern at the University of Texas at Austin. She loved the teaching and the topic! From there, she went on to work at universities for more than 25 years and taught classes to thousands of students on procrastination, time management, stress management, and goal setting.Today Linda calls herself a "recovering procrastinator." She finally learned how to stop sabotaging her own goals and dreams. She still gets stuck sometimes. But she doesn't stay stuck, and procrastination doesn't stop her from reaching her goals.The payoffs have been huge. The research is clear. Non-procrastinators are happier, healthier, and wealthier. Now she's on a mission to help as many other procrastinators as she can.Linda lives in California's Central Valley where she enjoys speaking, consulting, coaching, and writing.

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FINALLY

STOP PROCRASTINATING

When Nothing Else Works,

Unlock Your Hidden Power to Succeed

Linda Gannaway, Ed.D.

Copyright © 2023 Linda Gannaway

All rights reserved.

Published by Keaton Publishing, a division of TCS Communications, LLC

The author gratefully acknowledges those who granted permission to use copyrighted and previously published material. A list of permissions is included at the end of this book. See the Notes section for additional information.

Also written by Linda Gannaway

The Power of Life Lessons

The purpose of this book is to help you stop procrastinating and unlock your hidden power to succeed. It is based on the author’s education, experiences, and insights, along with the information she has learned from others, including her students and clients, as well as other authors, coaches, and mentors.

The author’s personal stories in this book are true. The stories about other people are used to describe situations the author has encountered; however, circumstances have been changed to protect anonymity and in some cases, composites are used. Any resemblance to actual identities is unintentional.

You should use the book as a general guide and resource, but as with all books of this kind, it cannot address the individual situations of readers. It is not intended to be, nor should it be, relied on or construed as medical, health, nutritional, psychological, financial, legal, or any other kind of professional advice, service, or therapy. As noted several times in the book, you should consult a competent professional in the appropriate area for any individual advice or treatment you need.

The results you get from reading and doing the activities in the book may be different from the results others achieve. All information and references in the book are believed to be accurate at the time of publishing but may change over time. There may also be typographical and other errors in the text.

The author and publisher are not liable or responsible for any loss or damage caused, or alleged to have been caused, directly or indirectly, by the information and activities contained or referenced in this book, or your application of them.

Print ISBN: 978-0-9985066-2-3

Ebook ISBN: 978-0-9985066-7-8

First edition

Cover design: 100 Covers

Interior design and image customization: MGF Designer

Dedicated to those of you who want to break free from the procrastination that has kept you from achieving your goals and dreams, that has prevented you from becoming your best self, and that has stopped you from sharing your gifts and talents and stepping into your light.

May you finally find success.

The really happy people are those who have broken the chains of procrastination, those who find satisfaction in doing the job at hand. They’re full of eagerness, zest, productivity.

You can be, too.

– Norman Vincent Peale

CONTENTS

Chapter 1: Looking for Answers

Finally Breaking Free

Chapter 2: The Good News About Procrastination

What is the Inner Game of Procrastination?

Guilt Doesn’t Help

How this Book Can Help You

Here’s the Plan for Your Success

How to Read This Book

Ask Yourself, Why Am I Reading This Book?

Chapter 3: Why Do We Procrastinate?

What is Procrastination?

How Your Subconscious Mind Sabotages Your Success

Comfort Zones

The Stories We Tell

Chapter 4: Outsmart Impulsiveness

The Importance of Mindset

How Impulsiveness Contributes to Your Procrastination

Use This Quick-Fix Technique for Immediate Results

If You’re Still Stuck, Try These Techniques

Eliminate the Cause Instead of Treating the Symptoms

Chapter 5: Strategies to Stop Procrastinating

Use Your Detective Mindset

Use These Techniques Before You Procrastinate

Use These Techniques During Your Procrastination

Use These Techniques After You Procrastinate

Chapter 6: Goal Setting that Accelerates Success

What Goals Do You Want to Achieve?

Create A Success Plan

Experiment with These Success Strategies

Set Goals to Stop Procrastinating

Troubleshooting Tips

Chapter 7: The Advantages of Healthy Habits

How Do Habits Work?

What Habits Do You Want to Start?

And What Habits Do You Want to Stop?

Shortcuts for Changing Your Habits

More Strategies to Change Your Habits

Chapter 8: Protect Your Priorities

from Too Much Screen Time

What is the Goal Here?

First Things First

Techniques for Reducing Screen Time

Chapter 9: It’s About Time

Mindset Matters

Take 100% Responsibility for Your Time

Finding Flow

Tips and Techniques for Managing Your Time

Choose Healthy Dopamine Activities

Discovering Your Inner Witness

Chapter 10: You Were Born to Shine

Congratulations

Possible Challenges Ahead

Imagine This! You as Your Best Self

You Were Born to Shine

Find a Way

Next Steps

Invitation

Recommended Reading

Discussion Guide

Permissions

Notes

Acknowledgments

About the Author

Chapter 1

Looking for Answers

The first time I remember procrastinating was when I was in the third grade. Our family used to go over to my grandparents’ house—a lot. There weren’t any kids my age that I could play with, so it was boring, and I usually didn’t want to go.

One time I kept dragging my feet when we were getting ready to leave our house, and I made our whole family late. Everyone got mad at me, my two older sisters and my parents. Did it bother me that they were mad? Not really. In fact, it felt kind of good. I didn’t realize it at the time, but it made me feel powerful to make them wait.

When I was in college, I used to put off any studying until the night before a test. Then I would stay up half the night, cram like crazy, and go take the exam. I still got good grades, so I didn’t see a downside. When I was in graduate school, procrastination became a game. I would wait until the last minute to get ready to go to a class or a meeting, fly into a frenzy, sprint out the door, and make it there with maybe, maybe three minutes to spare. Or I would intentionally stall before paying my bills, then marvel at how I always made it on time.

So basically, I would write, direct, and star in my own self-created dramas. I felt like Wonder Woman! It was lots and lots of unnecessary stress, but it was also fun and an energy rush. That’s when I started getting hooked on my own adrenaline.

Fast forward to when I got my first full-time job as a counselor at a university counseling center. After years of graduate coursework and internships, I finally landed my dream job, and I loved it. Only I started actually being late to staff meetings. No one said anything to me, but they noticed. Here I was, early on in my career, and I was jeopardizing my professional reputation. I knew it was unprofessional, disrespectful, and downright rude. It definitely wasn’t fun, and it wasn’t a game anymore. But I couldn’t stop. And I didn’t understand why.

Then one day, I went to a staff meeting—predictably late—and the only empty chair was clear across the room. I panicked and tried to slink to my seat like I was invisible, but I could feel everyone’s eyes watching me as I made that long walk across the floor. I didn’t even look up when I got to my seat. I felt so humiliated. It was horrible.

After that meeting, I went back to my office, closed the door, sat down in my chair, and for the first time ever, seriously asked myself, Why am I always late? And from deep inside came this answer, Because it feels powerful.

So that was it. This was just like me in the third grade, feeling powerful when I made other people wait on me. I felt incredibly immature and embarrassed. But it also made perfect sense. I had been a psychology major in college, and in my very first class we learned that if you keep doing something over and over, it’s because there is a reward or a payoff. You’re getting something out of it. If there is no reward, you’ll stop doing it. If it’s not meeting a need or a desire, you won’t continue.

Then I thought Wait a minute. We all want to feel powerful. There’s nothing wrong with that. But I needed to learn healthy ways to feel powerful. So I started getting really good at my job and finding more ways to feel competent in my personal life. Then I didn’t have such a strong reason to procrastinate, and it started to lose its grip on me.

My epiphany after that staff meeting was a turning point, and my life gradually got better and better. I still procrastinated on certain things, and sometimes I barely met my deadlines. But my eyes were wide open. I knew exactly what I was doing, and I didn’t get stuck in my delays the way I had before. After a long and productive career, I retired from my last university position and wrote my first book, The Power of Life Lessons, which includes lessons on procrastination. I spoke on procrastination and did life coaching with people who were struggling the same way I had. I felt like I was living my dream life, until . . .

The bottom fell out. I suddenly lost my momentum, ran into mental roadblocks, and found myself procrastinating in several areas of my life. My stuckness felt deep and unyielding, and it acted like a noose around my neck that would tighten every time I started moving toward my goals. Here I was once again. After more than twenty-five years of working as a counselor, hypnotherapist, and university instructor, I felt like I should be way past this nonsense. Yet I was still struggling. I became obsessed with figuring out why.

Part of my motivation was wanting to achieve some goals I’d had in the back of my mind for a long time, goals that were bigger, riskier, and scarier than anything I had ever done before. Those goals began to feel heavy, and I either needed to accomplish them or make a decision to mark them off my mental to-do list. I knew I would regret it if I didn’t at least try to reach my goals, so I kept searching for answers.

Another aspect of my motivation was wanting to be able to respect myself and feel proud of who I was as a person. Procrastination was stealing part of my self-esteem. I got tired of being disappointed with myself, and I didn’t want to look back when I was eighty-five years old and feel apologetic about my life.

Finally Breaking Free

I had already found most of the skills needed to stop procrastinating, and those worked well for many years. But during the same time as when I fell back into my procrastination, I got certified as a life coach. While doing that training, I realized I still had internal blocks that had been silently holding me back my whole life. These blocks mainly consisted of limiting beliefs, things I had unconsciously been telling myself again and again. Things like Don’t be too powerful and Don’t outshine others. Broad, oppressive beliefs that put the brakes on all kinds of forward movement. I already knew I had some of those beliefs. But thankfully, I learned a life coaching technique that helped me change those beliefs to empowering ones. It’s the same technique that has helped thousands of people around the world do the same, with all kinds of limiting beliefs. It gets to the root cause of people’s internal blocks and it releases them, sometimes in a surprisingly short period of time.

I started using that coaching technique with myself and others. I combined it with new information from brain research, along with principles from psychology on how to change habits. Putting all of that together meant I finally had all the puzzle pieces needed to keep procrastination from sabotaging my success. That’s when I decided to write this book. The tools and strategies I describe have accelerated how fast I reach my goals, made me much happier, opened my life to endless possibilities, and ignited a burning passion inside of me to do more and more. This has been the case for me, as well as for my clients and many others who have also learned these strategies.

Now I’m on a mission to offer those same results and opportunities to as many people as I can. Once you learn the strategies, you can take action on your goals and dreams and start to make them happen. In the bigger scheme of things, you can finally do what you came here to do and live the life you were meant to live. Without regrets. And here’s why.

After teaching classes on procrastination to literally thousands of university students, I discovered two types of procrastinators: those who are situational procrastinators and those who are considered chronic procrastinators. People who are situational procrastinators get stuck in only a few areas of their lives, often because they don’t have the knowledge or skills to complete the tasks. For instance, some of my students could learn time management skills, practice a little, and then they were fine. They made their to-do lists, scheduled activities in their calendars, and took action on their goals without a lot of internal resistance. In contrast, chronic procrastinators put off doing things in many different areas of their lives and stay stuck for years, even if they know how to get them done. I could teach the students who were chronic procrastinators all kinds of techniques to manage their time but that didn’t help, and they would continue to put things off.

If your procrastination has become not just a habit, but a lifestyle, or if your delays have resulted in negative consequences too many times, it’s probably because—like me and other chronic procrastinators—you have internal blocks. You can’t just do things differently like the experts advise. In spite of your best intentions, and regardless of your best efforts, you can’t simply change your behavior and become more productive, because inner blocks are stopping you. And unfortunately, these blocks are usually invisible. You can’t see them, touch them, feel them. You don’t even consciously know what they are, which makes it all that much more difficult to change. Your blocks have a hold on you, and they won’t let go.

Right now, you may feel confused by your procrastination. Overwhelmed. Helpless. Guilty. These feelings are common. After trying to fight an invisible enemy for years, some procrastinators give up hope and resign themselves to a life that is mediocre in comparison to the life of their dreams. I understand. I almost gave up. More than once.

It is important to know that your procrastination doesn’t mean you are lazy or unmotivated, or that you’re one of those people who just can’t develop self-discipline. If you are still stuck, please understand there is nothing wrong with you. It’s not your fault. The fault lies with your approach, with the way or ways you may have tried to stop procrastinating before now. The strategies you’ve been using haven’t worked. You need new strategies in order to get the results you want.

Brain research tells us that because of competing parts of the brain, we’re hardwired to procrastinate. But with the more recent scientific understanding about how the brain works, you can figure out what is holding you back. For chronic procrastinators, that sometimes means releasing parts of your inner blocks. Sometimes it means using brain hacks to slip through the back door, to bypass your resistance in order to move forward. You may need to try several different approaches, but now it’s entirely possible to find techniques that work for you.

One of my favorite sayings by best-selling author Louise Hay is,

I choose to make my future

the best part of my life.

What if you could stop procrastinating and actually make that quote come true for you? What if the best of your life lies just ahead in your not-too-distant future? The following pages show you step by step how to replace your stubborn habits of waiting and backtracking with new habits that help you get more done in less time. When that happens, you’ll discover a new-found confidence that helps you achieve the levels of success and happiness you want and deserve. That little voice inside of you is right when it says, I can do better than this. I know I can. There’s gotta be a way.

Will reading this book ensure that you’ll never procrastinate again? Probably not. But even if you occasionally put something off, you can stop feeling bad about yourself. And if you get stuck, you will know ways to get unstuck. You can definitely learn how to procrastinate less and less, become more productive in general, and achieve more of your goals. Plus, you can start to take advantage of opportunities that may be passing you by right now because of your delays.

The hope you feel is what made you start reading this book. You can overcome your procrastination and start to move forward in your life, feeling excited by the progress you’re making.

You have a lot to look forward to. Let’s get started.

Chapter 2

The Good News About Procrastination

I’ll never forget the time I just sat in my junior high school math class when we were supposed to be working on an assignment. My teacher walked by and noticed I was basically doing nothing, and she told me I had to go to early morning study hours to make up for the time I’d wasted. And she said it in front of the whole class. Talk about embarrassing. Or the time later in my life when I planned to visit a friend who lived out of town. From out of nowhere, I suddenly decided it was a good idea to vacuum my house right before I left. Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew that cleaning my house would make me late, which it did. But for some reason, I couldn’t finish packing my car and get on the road.

In looking back on experiences like that, when it came to doing certain things, it felt like I would run into this massive, rock-solid wall. But that wall was inside of me. I couldn’t do things like the math assignment, no matter how hard I tried. Even though I wanted to do those things and I knew how, I couldn’t MAKE myself do them.

I talk with a lot of procrastinators and many of them tell me some version of, I feel like I’m going through life with one foot on the gas pedal and one foot on the brakes. They say a part of them wants to get things done, but another part seems bound and determined to stop that from happening. They understand they are the ones putting on the brakes. And yes, they are understandably frustrated.

What about you? What’s hard for you to get done? It’s common for people to procrastinate on things like organizing their finances, losing weight, or even taking vacations. Or maybe you’re like most other people who set New Year’s resolutions, but you give up on them after two or three weeks. Like many others, you may also try to console yourself by saying something like, Oh, well. I can always do those things later.

Or maybe instead, you are what’s called a successful procrastinator. You wait until the last minute to get things done but still manage to meet your deadlines. For example, you fill your time doing other things instead of working on a big project. The time you have left to get it done is running out. Several nights in a row, you wake up with a jolt of anxiety in the pit of your stomach and wonder if this time, you’ve cut it too close. Finally, you get started and work on the project almost nonstop. You may have to stay up late, scramble to get it finished, and even then, barely turn it in on time. But what a relief when it’s done. It may not be your best work, but hey, you met your deadline. You may tell yourself that the extra stress in your life was just a small price to pay for your unnecessary delays. At the same time, you may vow that you will never procrastinate again. This may seem like an extreme example, but it’s the way many procrastinators live their lives.

Some procrastinators don’t feel that bad when their own plans get derailed or when they derail someone else’s. Or at least that’s how they act. You could be the kind of procrastinator, however, who takes things to heart and regrets not following through on your promises. The time you were embarrassingly late to your cousin’s wedding still makes you feel awful, especially since now she will barely speak to you. If you’re like most procrastinators, you may also feel genuinely mystified about why you can’t change your self-defeating behavior.

Before you become too discouraged and accept the fact that you will always procrastinate, keep reading.

The really good news is that procrastination is learned.

No one is born a procrastinator. You didn’t come into this life with some genetic code that makes you put things off. Somewhere along the way, you learned to procrastinate, and you can learn to replace it with productive habits instead. The new frontier in brain research focuses on neuroplasticity, which describes how adaptable our brains are at changing and becoming healthier and more efficient, no matter how old we are. We just need to give our brains the right support and experiences in order to change and heal. We now know that our brains can heal from physical injuries, emotional trauma, years of bad habits, severe memory problems—even Alzheimer’s. There’s lots of hope for procrastinators as well.

Every time you make a promise to yourself or others and don’t deliver, it takes a toll on your self-confidence. The sooner you learn how to replace your procrastination with productive habits, the quicker you get to start feeling better and finding the success that’s been so elusive before now. And because of certain chemicals in your brain, even a little progress on your goals can make you feel happy and more motivated to keep going.

Today I call myself a recovering procrastinator. After years of last-minute dashes to the finish line, I realized I no longer wanted the extra stress and back-and-forth internal conflict that my dawdling created. Nothing about it felt fun anymore. The adrenaline rush needed to pull off miraculous feats in the final hours left me feeling tired and depleted. Something inside of me shifted, and I much preferred to feel grounded, steady, and in control, easily meeting my deadlines not just on time, but ahead of time.

Plus, all of that inner conflict and the extra energy it required was getting in the way of some of my more important big goals. I knew there was more to life than what I was living, and I wanted to enjoy it while I could. Deep down inside, I also knew that if I really put my mind to it, I could get past my procrastination and start to enjoy more of my naturally powerful potential. That I could get stronger and become more of the best version of myself. So after years of struggling, I’m beyond grateful that I found what works for me. That now I rarely procrastinate and when I do, I have lots of techniques and strategies that keep me from staying stuck.

The key to my second and final procrastination turnaround was figuring out how to release my inner blocks. Now I want to help other procrastinators do the same, without having to go through the time it took and the trial-and-error experiences I went through. Because I learned how to take my foot off the brakes, I know firsthand how much better life can be. Now, instead of wondering if I will ever achieve my goals, I ask myself, How fast can I let myself go? and How good can I let my life get? I want that for you as well. In the following pages, I give you the answers that took me so long to find.

It’s time for you to start listening to that little voice inside that keeps saying, Why can’t I be like people who are successful? When is it going to be my turn? It is your turn. This is your chance to finally win the inner battle that has kept you from succeeding before now. Keep reading to find out what you’ve been up against and why your procrastination hasn’t been your fault. Part of your success will come from understanding what is going on in your mind and why that has kept you stuck for so long.

What is the Inner Game of Procrastination?

Throughout this book, I will refer to the Inner Game of procrastination. I will explain the Inner Game in more detail in the next chapter but briefly, it’s what goes on inside your brain when you procrastinate. Sometimes this mental activity is called mindset, or your beliefs, thoughts, emotions, and attitudes. I will use all of these terms interchangeably throughout this book, but I will call it the Inner Game more often, because that highlights the competition between different parts of your brain when you try to do certain tasks.

Just like in sporting events, this Inner Game usually has a winner and a loser at the end of the competition, only it is played completely in your head. The players in the game are first of all, your conscious mind—what you are aware of. The other players in this competition are all the other parts of your brain that can sabotage what your conscious mind wants to do. These players include the internal blocks that most people aren’t aware of even when they get in the way of accomplishing a goal. These blocks live in your subconscious mind, hidden from your conscious awareness. But they become your primary opponents in the Inner Game. The conscious part of you wants to win the game by getting something done, but your subconscious mind seems to be saying, No way!

The subconscious part can make you come up with all kinds of distractions and excuses that keep you from focusing on your goal. You may end up feeling bamboozled when this happens, like you just got taken for a ride. You can’t believe you just wasted all that time on social media—again—especially when your big project is due in two days.

So what are these internal blocks? They mainly consist of fears and limiting beliefs that we learned before the age of six from the people around us, usually our parents and other family members. The beliefs we learn from our childhood experiences are simply thoughts about reality that have become cemented into hard-and-fast truths in our minds, and we tend to accept them without question. For example, some parents tell their children they are worthy and capable. But sometimes children get messages, in various ways, that they are unworthy and incompetent. These messages can turn into beliefs about ourselves and get stored in our subconscious mind. They often continue to control us throughout our lives because they are usually silent and invisible. It’s like you downloaded a software program onto your computer, and then you forgot you saved it on your hard drive.

Our limiting beliefs can create conflicts around the goals we set later in life, which then cause an internal battle, a mental tug-of-war. Maybe you want to do something that would show you are worthy and capable. If that contradicts what you learned as a child, your subconscious programming can kick in and either slow you down or stop you from taking action. You may feel resistant when you start to work on your goal and can’t understand why you are suddenly anxious, tired, or just not in the mood. It is probably because you’re about to do something that goes against a belief that is a part of your invisible blocks.

Many experts agree that at least 80 percent of the obstacles we face in life have to do with mindset, with the Inner Game, with our subconscious, internal conflicts. On some level, you may already realize that you are your biggest obstacle to success. That you are the one getting in your own way. That you keep sabotaging the very goals you say you want to achieve. Wouldn’t it feel liberating if you could learn how to win the Inner Game and stop fighting against yourself? Then you would never have a reason to say, I’m my own worst enemy.

There’s an Inner Game of Procrastination, and There’s an Outer Game

Sometimes procrastinators will think: If I just had more time, I could get more done. Or If I just had more money, I could accomplish my goals. Time and money are part of the Outer Game of procrastination, where you win over all the external opponents in your environment. Outer Game opponents are anything outside of yourself that could become an obstacle in reaching a goal. Your success depends on whether you can prevent these external factors from getting in the way. Besides time and money, these opponents can include having a place to work on your goals, finding childcare, or getting up to speed with skills like time management and goal setting. The list of potential Outer Game obstacles depends on your individual circumstances at the time you want to achieve a particular goal. But basically, they consist of time, money, a suitable workspace, knowledge, skills, possibly technology support, staff or other people, and any other external resources you might need.

Most of us can find ways to work around the external obstacles we face, even when they feel impossible in the moment. We may have to wait for the right timing, but usually we can get creative, do some problem solving, and come up with a plan. If you think back on what seemed like a solid external roadblock to a goal you wanted to achieve, you may remember that you eventually found a way around it. But these Outer Game obstacles are normally less than 20 percent of what’s holding us back. Usually it’s the other 80-plus percent—the Inner Game blocks—that make us continue to procrastinate. We can’t do problem-solving with our internal opponents if we don’t even know what they are. So we keep overeating, spending too much time on our phones, or keep running late.

Most books and online advice about procrastination focus on the Outer Game. They provide external strategies aimed at changing your behavior and doing things differently: identify your priorities, complete your priorities through small action steps, then reward yourself. Much of the published information is excellent, and judging from the online reviews, this material helps many people beat their habit and turn into non-procrastinators who are happier and more productive.

Through teaching university classes on procrastination and time management for decades, I learned that this published material is a great fit for most situational procrastinators who are temporarily stuck. They just need to learn time management and self-management skills, and they’re good to go. They use those skills to complete their goals in a reasonable amount of time, without a struggle. They follow the advice for how to play the Outer Game, change their behavior, and win by achieving what they want. These procrastinators usually need to go through a learning curve to become successful, so it doesn’t happen overnight. And they may not be 100 percent successful all the time. But in general, they’re able to take action on their goals and keep moving forward in their lives.

For a certain group of long-term, chronic procrastinators, however, suggesting external strategies and asking them to change their behavior doesn’t work. Some people who procrastinate can’t win by using Outer Game techniques. Their invisible, subconscious blocks keep their self-defeating behaviors alive and well, regardless of negative consequences and even when they have Outer Game techniques that could help. I know. I was one of them.

We live our lives in the now of present moments. If your present moments are even partially filled with avoidance, delays, stalling, and back-tracking, then you will limit your ability to accomplish your goals and enjoy your life. However, once you learn how to win the Inner Game of procrastination, what’s so remarkable is that you can apply the same techniques to any and every other part of your life where you have internal blocks. It can improve the overall quality of your life in fascinating and completely unexpected ways. Ways that can lead to more opportunities. Better choices. Greater freedom. A new and improved life. And a happier you.

Guilt Doesn’t Help

One time I was presenting a workshop on procrastination at a conference for college students. Just before we got started, a young woman walked in, sat down in the first row of seats, looked straight at me, and said, You’re not going to make us feel guilty, are you? The young woman was expressing what most procrastinators think and feel. They know they struggle to get things done on time (or at all), and it makes them feel guilty. Inside, they may call themselves lazy, unmotivated, undisciplined. Chronic procrastinators, in particular, are often extremely hard on themselves.

But procrastination isn’t a character problem. Your procrastination is usually caused by invisible, competing parts of your brain. And besides that, mentally beating yourself up makes it harder to change. Guilt, shame, and name-calling make you feel worse and tend to keep you stuck. You can use the energy you spend berating yourself to move forward, so no guilt trips, please.

Guilt doesn’t help, but self-compassion does. As an example, when college students were told to forgive themselves for their low grades on a test, they did better on the next test than the students who were told nothing. For right now, try forgiving yourself for all the times you fell into the procrastination trap. As you will see in this book, you probably didn’t know how to do things any differently. You repeated the same habits that had been going on with you for a long time, maybe years, and had no way to prevent that from happening.

Regardless of what it might look like to others, you may really try to do better. You probably want to be on time and may give that a lot of effort. You buy the latest organizer. You work on self-discipline. You swear you will never be late again. But despite your best intentions, your self-defeating patterns continue. Most procrastinators long to feel normal, to just get things done like other people do, without turning them into some big ordeal. But when that doesn’t happen, besides berating themselves, they often start to feel weak and inadequate, like they have some fatal flaw.

Worse yet, they take on I’m a procrastinator as part of their identity, as if it’s gospel truth. Your identity, or who you believe you are as a person, directs and determines the majority of your behavior. That means you need to be very careful about how