A Time to Heal

By Shannon Kilcullen

A Time to Heal: From Survival Mode to Healing Mode" is a gripping memoir that delves into the intense challenges of overcoming childhood trauma. The author courageously shares their journey through a turbulent upbringing with narcissistic, mentally ill parents, and the profound impact this had on their life. This powerful 

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• Language: English
• Publisher: Shannon Kilcullen
• Release date: Apr 17, 2024
• ISBN: 9798869326966

Book preview

A Time to Heal

From Survival Mode to Healing Mode

Shannon Kilcullen

Copyright © 2024

All Rights Reserved

Dedication

To God, the unwavering beacon of hope that lights even the darkest corners of my journey.

To my beloved step-sister, Jessica, and half-brother, Nick, who faced battles that tested the very fabric of their souls. Through the ache of their absence, their spirits inspire every word I pen, reminding me of the imperativeness of understanding and healing.

To my sister, Jill, and her cherished children, who have woven threads of love, resilience, and shared memories into the tapestry of my life. Together, we’ve traversed challenges, always emerging stronger, our bond a testament to familial love and endurance.

To my mother, whose love has been the anchor in tumultuous waters. Her enduring support, even in moments of unspeakable pain, has been my lighthouse, guiding me back to the shores of love and safety.

To my children and grandchildren, the heartbeats that give rhythm to my life’s song. You are the embodiment of my ‘why,’ the driving force behind each step I take on this healing journey. May my story be a legacy for you, illustrating the boundless strength of the human spirit and the transformative power of love.

To my friends, the chosen family whose unwavering love, encouragement, and support have been the wind beneath my wings, giving me strength to soar even during the stormiest of times.

To the souls of the Mystic Manor retreat, your sanctuary provided the space for introspection and growth, and for that, I am eternally grateful.

To all who are acquainted with the relentless search for clarity and serenity in life’s maze: let this memoir serve as a testament to our combined resilience, a beacon of hope, and a constant reminder that even in the throes of life’s harshest storms, healing is always within reach.

With immense gratitude and boundless love,

Shannon Kilcullen

Contents

Dedication

About The Author

Credits And Acknowledgements

Chapter 1 **Fresh Perspectives**

Chapter 2 **The Beginning**

Chapter 3 **Leaving**

Chapter 4 **New Beginnings**

Chapter 5 **Judged**

Chapter 6 **Triggers And Memories**

Chapter 7 **Food**

Chapter 8 **Money**

Chapter 9 **The Healing Journey**

Chapter 10 **The Retreat**

Chapter 11 **Mother Nature’s Embrace**

Chapter 12**Holistic Healing Practices For Trauma**

References

About the Author

Shannon Kilcullen, originally from Saint Louis, Missouri, experienced the warmth of North Carolina during her formative years and now finds solace in the vast landscapes of Oklahoma, a state that has been a significant backdrop in various phases of her life. Her journey, while fraught with challenges rooted in family histories of mental illness, poverty, and abuse, has culminated in a memoir encapsulating resilience, healing, and transformation. This narrative is not just her story but a beacon for others, inspired by personal struggles, the bedrock support of loved ones, and Shannon’s relentless pursuit of hope.

In the professional realm, Shannon has carved a niche in Information Technology. However, it isn’t just about computers and coding for her. She draws intriguing parallels between the programming of machines and the mental and physical frameworks of humans, making a profound statement about how experiences shape our internal software. An unwavering advocate for mental health awareness and children’s rights, Shannon firmly believes in the importance of equipping younger generations with the tools and support they need to thrive.

But there’s more to Shannon than her poignant words and professional endeavors. Her zest for life is evident in her diverse passions. From getting engrossed in the pages of a compelling book, traveling to uncharted territories, seeking solace in nature, savoring the flavors of new restaurants, navigating waters in her kayak, to diving into the intricate world of real estate, she embraces life in all its facets.

Today, Oklahoma City is where Shannon calls home. Surrounded by the love and laughter of her children and grandchildren, they serve as her compass, guiding her toward hope, healing, and happiness.

To connect further, readers are welcome to reach out via:https://www.shannonkilcullen-author.com

Facebook:

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Credits and Acknowledgements

Dear Mr. Jesus

Words and Music by Richard Klender

© 1985 Klenco Music (ASCAP)

Used by permission.

Chapter 1

**Fresh Perspectives**

I was on the cusp of a profound change. The cosmos seemed to resonate with my very being, urging me on this transformative journey. There was a pull towards embracing a new chapter filled with love, joy, and abundance. Yet, the resistance within me was palpable—it felt like a game of tug-of-war, and anomalies kept arising that I couldn’t ignore.

Stepping into the event room, I was thrust into an unfamiliar world. Booths dotted the space: crystals sparkled under lights, jewelry twinkled, sound bowls hummed softly, and an array of energy healers, card readers, and clairvoyants offered their services. Feeling both overwhelmed and skeptical, I wasn’t sure where to begin.

A woman at a table caught my eye, her sign reading donations only. Trying to maintain a semblance of anonymity, I offered minimal information—just my name. I deliberately kept my cards close, testing her. She asked, Where are you going? Her hands danced over the table, mimicking a journey. I sense motion, a journey. When she unexpectedly voiced her concern about my sister, she said, Call your sister, tell her that you love her, and ask how she is doing without judgment, I felt my defenses falter, emotions threatening to surface. How did she know?!

Not too far off, a man beckoned. His question was direct: Overwhelmed with life, aren’t you? His odd exercise of observation, though initially puzzling, eventually dawned on me as a lesson on the power of visualization. Physical presence, I realized, wasn’t always necessary.

The clairvoyant’s insights rang true. A healing retreat in California awaited me, promising a connection to something bigger than myself. It was an experience that would address years of trauma and resilience. From California, my journey took me to Oregon to heal old wounds with my aunt Cathy. My bags were next packed for Thailand, but fate had other plans—a global virus disrupted those.

However, my return to Oklahoma wasn’t a retreat to the old. I came back renewed, with fresh perspectives, deeper self-love, and fervor to share and connect through my journey.

Chapter 2

**The Beginning**

If life were predictable, it would cease to be life and be without flavor.

Most of my life, I’ve held the belief that our spirits precede our physical birth. The quandary many of us grapple with is our purpose. Why are we here? Is there a predetermined path, or do we merely exist? If God is the creator and encompasses everything, then what or who created God?

My conviction is that everything in our universe is interconnected. Our spirits are a dynamic form of energy, always transitioning and morphing. If this energy is perennial, then perhaps our souls have journeyed through multiple lifetimes, reincarnating time and again. As this energy ebbs and flows, it carries memories, emotions, and perhaps the weight of our ancestral DNA. Our very existence has been a subject of debate since humanity’s dawn, and numerous philosophers and teachers have proffered answers. For me, Jesus stands out as the beacon, teaching love and faith above all. And if you’re inclined to believe in astrology – the idea that our existence is interwoven with celestial bodies, and considering that the sun is our brightest star – then the correlation between Jesus, the light of men (King James Version, John 14:6), and the Sun of righteousness (King James Version, Malachi 4:2) seems profound. Like the sun, the Son of God bestows light and life.

I might have chosen this life before birth, but the free will granted by our creator lets me shape it. God’s intention for me is to evolve in love despite adversity. He has accorded me the grace to heal from past traumas that erected walls around my heart. Although I’ve often functioned in survival mode, I’m reminded that every season has a purpose, including one for healing.

The hardships I’ve faced were neither the result of my actions nor something I deserved. They were predestined chapters of my story. And I wouldn’t alter a single detail of my past. Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above (King James Version, James 1:17). Our earthly perspective may sometimes be clouded, but beyond the transient shadows, the perpetual light of God’s love shines, turning even our tribulations into blessings.

My Parents

Ann Marie Tack and Joseph Stephen Kilcullen hail from St. Louis, Missouri. My father’s birth coincided with Christmas, but he reminds me nothing of Jesus. My mother’s birthday falls on All Saints day, but she’s no saint either. On the 17th of July, 1980, they welcomed me into the world. That week, I was bestowed the honor of ‘the prettiest baby born in the hospital’ (this is what my mother has always been proud to tell me). Jill Hannah Kilcullen, my elder sister by a little over a year, shares with me more than just family ties – our names both embed our mother’s name,