Consciousness - My Ultimate Reality: An Intimate Self-Inquiry

By Mohamed Raad

This book is an invitation to a journey that requires no physical travel or pilgrimage to a holy place. It is not a question of leaving the earthly world and pretending to arrive in paradise. It is simply an intimate self-inquiry; where there are no other realities or other beings. There exists deep within us a capacity for discernment between the Eternal and the ephemeral or between the Ultimate Reality, which does not change, and the material world, which is in perpetual change. The Ultimate Reality consists, for the author, of recognizing and manifesting the Divinity within oneself and of perceiving this Divinity in the Cosmos. As soon as this Ultimate Reality or Consciousness is found, man frees himself from the person he thought he was. Peace and happiness he has always sought outside of himself are finally found within him. It is the most important trip of his life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press
• Release date: Apr 14, 2024
• ISBN: 9798765250891

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From the same author

33 Confidences À Un Ami Intime

Printed only in French

A journey within, to better understand yourself

Published by Nombre7 éditions, 2019.

Version 2 released in 2024

Also available in eBook format

Check out this link for more information

https://mike.raad.fr/

CONSCIOUSNESS -

MY ULTIMATE REALITY

An Intimate Self-Inquiry

Mohamed RAAD

Copyright © 2024 Mohamed RAAD.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Balboa Press

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

ISBN: 979-8-7652-5088-4 (sc)

ISBN: 979-8-7652-5089-1 (e)

Balboa Press rev. date: 04/03/2024

CONTENTS

Introduction

Chapter 1 My Little Sarah...

Chapter 2 My Self-inquiry

Chapter 3 My Physical Dimension

Chapter 4 My Vital Dimension

Chapter 5 My Mental Dimension

Chapter 6 My Dimension of Intelligence and Wisdom

Chapter 7 The Relentless Ego that Haunts Me...

Chapter 8 My Realm of Unconditional Love, Peace, and Joy

Chapter 9 It is Not a Dream... I’m Conscious!

Chapter 10 The Three States of My Mind

Chapter 11 My Entire Existence is Merely A Colossal Experiment

Chapter 12 Consciousness Encompasses Everything...

Chapter 13 Consciousness is my Ultimate Reality!

Chapter 14 I Am Represents Pure Consciousness

Chapter 15 The Light of Consciousness

Chapter 16 Consciousness: A Divine Essence

Chapter 17 Separation Does Not Exist…

Chapter 18 Everything is Consciousness: Exploring the Depths of Existence

Chapter 19 Oneness: The Culmination

Conclusion

Oh Divine Consciousness... My Ultimate Reality... I bow before your glory.

You are the ocean of infinite Existence and unconditional Love.

You are perpetual Happiness and unlimited Joy.

Thank you for your Grace and Integrity.

Thank you for your Light, your Peace, and your Wisdom.

I AM you and You Are Me. We Are Ultimate Reality…

May your Wisdom preside!

May your Beauty adorn!

May your Strength be!

May your Peace reign!

May your Love fill my being!

May your Joy be in my heart!

I dedicate this intimate self-inquiry to the loves of my life and the members of my family: Tbb Nadia, my three precious children: Kaz, Talie, and Nadim, and my grandchildren.

Mohamed Raad

Mohamed Raad, also known as Mike, was born on April 10, 1950, in Syr, a town in northern Lebanon, where he discovered the beauty of Islam and the Sufis¹ tradition. This beauty resonated deeply within him, even though, at that time, he did not fully comprehend its significance.

Lebanon, a small country in the Middle East, was once a paradise during the author’s childhood, characterized by stunning mountains, the Mediterranean Sea, delicious fruits, and beautiful flowers. The natural surroundings served as a profound source of inspiration for him, with the seasons’ beauty and abundance providing a comfortable way of life. Everything he required to grow and learn was readily available.

However, Lebanon was engulfed in a devastating civil war, transforming into the antithesis of the author’s cherished memories. This experience left him deeply scarred and prompted him to grapple with profound existential questions about life: Why do people resort to violence? What drives their actions and emotions? What is the purpose of it all? Where am I headed, and where is humanity heading?

Subsequently, after completing his education to become a school teacher in Lebanon, he chose to pursue further studies in the United States of America. He obtained a Bachelor of Science degree in Mechanical Engineering from the University of Texas at Austin before embarking on a year-long assignment in Iran, working on an oil project, for Morrison–Knudsen (MK); an American civil engineering and construction company, with headquarters in Boise, Idaho.

Iran is a magnificent country with a rich history spanning centuries, often misunderstood and unjustly maligned by the major powers. It is a land of wonders, brimming with charm and hospitality. The Persian people are known for their warmth, generosity, and kindness. Persia boasts immense cultural and spiritual wealth, making it incomparable to its neighboring nations.

For an entire year, the author traversed this country from north to south and from east to west; from the verdant shores of the Caspian Sea to the sunlit beaches of the Persian Gulf. Along the way, he encountered Sufis and Mullahs², as well as educated and insightful individuals, mingling with peasants, workers, businessmen and politicians.

However, his love for his beloved Nadia drew him back to Lebanon, where they married before returning together to Austin. There, they attended the same university. Within a few years, he earned a Master of Science in Mechanical Engineering while Nadia obtained a Bachelor’s degree in linguistics. During this period, amidst her studies, she also gave birth to their first child, Kaz.

Later, owing to Mohamed’s Franco-Lebanese nationality through marriage, he and his family chose to relocate from Austin to Nantes, a city in western France. It was there that Mohamed pursued and attained a PhD in Mechanical Engineering from the École Centrale de Nantes.

In Nantes, the family flourished, raising three children: Kaz, Nathalie, and Nadim. After three decades of dedicated service as a project manager and certified IT architect at IBM, the author retired in 2014.

At the beginning, he believed that his life revolved around his individual identity, his name, his appearance, his education, his beliefs, his possessions, his nationality, his religion and his profession. He firmly believed that his physical body and brain, in some way, had created his mind and his subjective consciousness. And through his mind, he could think, reflect, and make decisions based on his understanding of the environment he finds himself in. And through his daily empirical, subjective and local awareness, he could be aware of his sense-body-mind complex and the world around him.

Nonetheless, from a very young age, the author began to ask questions about the meaning of Life. He figured that if he understood his own life and its complex interactions, he would also understand his true nature, why he suffers, why he is alive and why he will die. This way, he would finally understand the nature of the Universe and realize who he really is. But this solution was not what he thought and all this was of no use to him. Hence the start of a true personal and intimate self-inquiry which began with the reading, research and study of numerous treatises on Sufism, Arab and Indian mystical philosophies as well as other more distant paths...

His intimate self-inquiry to explain the purpose and meaning of Existence continued throughout his lifetime. It is a profound quest that has never stopped; a quest to move from ignorance to knowledge, from the unreal to the real, from darkness to light and from death to immortality.

His research led him to many great religious and spiritual traditions, including Hinduism, Buddhism, Taoism, and Sufism, which would enable individuals to realize their true nature through an intimate understanding of the Oneness of Existence. He also practiced yoga and learned to meditate to explore not only his true nature but also the reality of the Universe.

His intimate self-inquiry initially led him to detachment, which is typical at the beginning, but this detachment gradually transformed into knowledge. In fact, some detachment was necessary at the outset because he was so immersed in his personal beliefs, concerns, and judgments that he couldn’t perceive his true nature.

However, upon discovering his true impersonal nature, he was able to once again embrace his personal life, and all that comes with it, from a new perspective. As his understanding of his true nature matured, he began to live fully and authentically, free from personal concerns, doubt, fear, resistance, hatred, anger, greed, etc.

The author suddenly discovered that there is something much deeper than his little self, than his life, and he wanted to grasp that, at all costs. He realized that his inner self could only be realized if he went beyond external values and found within himself this very peaceful reality which is the source of his reflection and his creativity. It is something much more stable in itself and not subject to change. He called this Ultimate Reality; a unified field of being that includes the entire Universe, living human beings, and all that exists. It is an ocean of infinite Existence, unconditional Love, perpetual Happiness, and unlimited Joy. It is a permanent source of Light, Peace, and Wisdom. Thus, he awakened to the wonder, the mystery, the joy, and the beauty of pure Consciousness³, of pure Existence, of perpetual Happiness, and of unlimited and absolute Love and Joy...

This beautiful adventure led the author back to his own being, enabling him to finally recognize the nature of his ultimate reality, which is none other than Consciousness. When he embarked on this journey, he had no concept of Consciousness; all he knew was his personal life. However, upon discovering Ultimate Reality, Consciousness, or I Am he was truly able to live freely and fully without suffering or confusion.

As a result, the author uncovered his deep essence beyond the body and mind, and the light of Consciousness illuminated within him, revealing his own beauty, peace, and love. Gradually, his suffering dissipated, and he emerged from the shadow of his ego into the brilliant light of Consciousness, where the ego loses its grip.

Initially, his ego directed him towards his physical body and other less tangible dimensions or levels of Existence that comprise the human being or the parts within him that undergo changes. This contrasts with true I Am which guided him towards Ultimate Reality or Consciousness, unaffected by change.

This personal and intimate self-inquiry enabled him to elucidate, without the assistance of external factors, his purpose for Existence and the significance of his life. This introspective journey requires no physical movement, no pilgrimage, and no extraordinary visits to sacred places in this world—a voyage not involving departure from the earthly realm in pursuit of an illusory paradise, nor a venture into mysterious or unknown realms, space, or time, nor the anticipation of death as a means to attain happiness, nor the accumulation of knowledge and theories atop the vast corpus of existing knowledge. It is simply a profound exploration of oneself, devoid of other realities or beings.

Through this quest, the author discerns within himself the ability to distinguish between the Eternal and the ephemeral, or between the unchanging Ultimate Reality and the perpetually changing material world.

For the author, realization of Ultimate Reality entails acknowledging and embodying the Divinity within oneself, and perceiving this Divinity, or the Oneness of Existence, in the surrounding Cosmos.

Upon realizing Consciousness or Ultimate Reality, one transcends the notion of the self previously perceived. The peace and happiness sought externally are ultimately discovered within, through the recognition of one’s true nature.

At the outset, the belief in being a distinct individual, a minuscule component of a vast Universe, led the author to conceive of a Divinity beyond the world, infinitely distant. Consequently, he embraced a devotional relationship with this distant Divinity. However, the realization of Ultimate Reality achieved through recognition and understanding of oneself as an unlimited and infinite being, brought the author to perceive that he shares the same essence as this Ultimate Reality, inseparable from it.

In truth, the author acknowledges that he has long been trapped by his own ego and his daily, empirical, or personal consciousness. Nonetheless, a subtle awakening, imperceptible to external observers, led him to realize that he had always been the screen upon which the film of life was projected, and that he already embodies fully what he has always sought. He recognizes that the essence of Life is Divine Consciousness or Ultimate Reality.

All that exists, all that has ever been, and all that will be is encompassed within this Divinity, Consciousness, or Ultimate Reality. It is as it was in the beginning, as it is now, and as it always will be. For Ultimate Reality, there exists neither time nor space; rather, time and space emanate from it. Ultimate Reality is eternally present, transcending the confines of time and space.

The Oneness of Existence is not merely a characteristic of life; rather, life is a manifestation of the Oneness of Existence. Separation is an illusion; true disconnection from anyone is not feasible.

When we encounter this Divinity, this Unity, this Ultimate Reality, or this pure Consciousness in our daily lives, we perceive the Divine in everyone and everything. Consciousness serves as the link connecting us to everything within the Universe, where there can be no hierarchy as we are all united as ONE. From it radiate unconditional Love, causeless Joy, and absolute Peace.

The author hopes and prays that this introspective journey will enable readers to discover within themselves their unique Ultimate Reality. Upon opening the door, they will realize that they have been knocking from the inside all along, recognizing themselves as Consciousness, Existence, and perpetual Happiness... and understanding that they are free, infinite, and immortal.

---

¹ Sufi: The first and fundamental meaning of the word Sufi invokes Divine Wisdom. A true Sufi is, therefore, a wise person. Strictly speaking, the term ‘Sufi’ designates an individual who has attained total spiritual realization. ‘Sufism’ refers to the esoteric heart of Islam, signifying the inner truth that enlivens and facilitates profound understanding.

² Mullah: designates a Muslim scholar in countries influenced by Persian language such as Iran, Afghanistan, the Indian subcontinent, and Turkey.

³ Pure Consciousness: Throughout this manuscript, ‘Consciousness’ with a capital C refers to Pure Consciousness, Existence, and unconditional Love, absolute Peace and perpetual Happiness. Pure Consciousness denotes Consciousness devoid of objects. The term ‘pure’ may not always be employed in this manuscript for the sake of simplification.

INTRODUCTION

Ultimate Reality is my true nature, which is Consciousness, Existence, and unconditional Love. There is no room for other intruders within this Reality. Within it, all human beings, animals, plants, and things appear, evolve, and then disappear. It is the Eternal I Am which transcends mere objectivity.

I am now deeply convinced that Consciousness shines within the minds of all human beings, giving rise to their daily empirical or personal consciousness. Furthermore, I firmly believe that this personal consciousness is unconditioned and pure at birth. Every human being receives this Light from, or even, birth, but their minds become heavily conditioned by family, education, society, and their environment.

The mind illuminates and permeates the physical body to which it belongs, making it distinct from the mind of another human being. This mind serves as the supreme instrument of self-knowledge. In its original state, it remains unconditioned by any external factors. Composed of an extremely subtle and transparent substance, it reflects Consciousness and gains consciousness in turn, despite its inert nature initially.

While it is the same, unique, pure, and original Consciousness that illuminates all beings, the reflection of Consciousness varies depending on the quality of the reflecting medium. This disparity explains the differences observed among human beings and why, despite sharing the same underlying Consciousness, they experience reality differently. These experiences are confined to specific subtle bodies and minds. It is the same Consciousness manifesting through different reflective mediums or within different subtle bodies.

The contentment and misery experienced by human beings on a daily basis are merely states of their mind, particularly their ego. Contentment arises as a result of a calm mind and ego. The ego temporarily calms when a specific desire is fulfilled, leading to contentment and pleasure. However, soon another desire arises, stirring the ego and causing misery. True and lasting happiness can only be attained when the mind is tranquil. This can only be achieved by calming desires and thoughts, which are the root cause of mental agitation. Therefore, it is evident that lasting happiness cannot be attained through the ego. Lasting happiness does not derive from external objects; it is solely the glow of Consciousness within the mind.

True happiness is intrinsic to Consciousness; it requires no cultivation. The same applies to unconditional Love, causeless Joy, and endless Peace. They reside deep within a human being but are obscured by familial, educational, societal, and environmental conditioning. These factors contribute to ignorance, which in turn is the source of human suffering.

It is ignorance that leads a human being to believe in a separate identity known as the I-thought, me or ego, capable of thinking, acting, and choosing. However, in reality, this I-thought, me or ego does not exist—it never has and never will. It is merely a falsely conceived and fictitious notion at its core. This misconception, accepted as truth, becomes the origin of existential suffering for human beings.

This suffering is not physical pain; pain serves as a warning sign, drawing attention to the state of the physical body, preventing potential serious physical and emotional issues. When experiencing pain, such as a severe headache, for example, one typically responds by taking medication. However, when one loses a beloved friend, relative, or cherished possession, profound sadness follows.

Upon the revelation of the true nature of human existence to the mind, one rediscovers that he is composed of Consciousness, pure Love, Peace, Joy, and Happiness. This truth, which signifies the absence of the I-thought, me or ego fundamentally alters one’s relationship with Existence and fulfills the quest for a fictitious and imagined happiness. It instills a serene tranquility that enriches daily life. In this state, the sense of separation from others and the Universe dissipates.

Before assuming the role of