Like A Large Immovable Rock: Letters From Disciples Of A Modern Sage

By Colin Mallard

In German universities there is a tradition of honouring a beloved professor. This is done by compiling letters and articles by students who have carried on correspondence with him over the years. These contributions are edited, bound in a book and presented to him. This compilation, called Festschrift, is an expression of deep appreciation for the teacher. Like a large immovable rock: Letters from disciples of a modern sage is a book of accounts written by friends of Advaita sage Ramesh Balsekar, narrating how their lives have been influenced by his Teaching. In its pages you will find the words of several men and women for whom awakening has occurred. For a few other disciples the search has ended, but the fruit is not yet ready to fall. Ramesh has said that awakening means the permanent and complete annihilation of the sense of doership. (By doership what he means is the sense of identity, the egoic structure, the conceptual framework and attendant memories of the self.) And for yet others, the meeting with Ramesh brought recognition that he was the guru they had been seeking. As Ramesh points out, Advaita Vedanta deals with the final impediment - the illusory self, the very one seeking enlightenment

• Language: English
• Publisher: Colin Mallard
• Release date: Jun 30, 2017
• ISBN: 9789385902628

Colin Mallard

Colin Mallard played in bomb craters and bombed out buildings as a child in England during the Second World War. Perhaps this was the origin of his interest in peace. He attended University in Boston and was deeply involved in the Civil Rights and Anti War Movements of the 60s. In fact, the story of the sanctuary at Boston University's Marsh Chapel, described in Stillpoint, was written from personal experience. He worked for a number of years at an inner city church in Providence with the local black population and was harassed, threatened and beaten by the police. Later the church was firebombed and destroyed. (Click on the link below and see some interesting photos from that time. He's the one with the large mustache.) Some of his many jobs have included such esoteric skills as taxi driver, magician's assistant, tree planter, mountain guide and a street counselor on Vancouver's skid-road. Colin laughs, "Jack of all trades and master of none." He spent eleven years as a Unitarian minister. His interest in exploring spiritual matters took him into the ministry and out of it again. For the next 20 years he worked as a psychologist. For some of that time he lived in Hawaii and worked with families in which children had been abused. The State of Hawaii believed the family was the best place to raise children and were prepared to provide the needed help. He taught parents effective communication and parenting kills, and helped them understand the sources of anger and conflict. It was during this time he wrote a first novel, a teaching story for his clients. Behind it all was a consuming interest in the nature of peace and who or what we are as human beings. This led him to a lengthy study of Taoism, and Zen and, latterly, the Advaita Masters, Ramesh Balsekar and Dr. Jean Klein. He has written a number of books on the subject of peace. Something to Ponder, reflections from Lao Tzu's Tao Te Ching, and Understanding, draw the reader into a deep exploration of life and how it works. A number of his books have won awards in such categories as Eastern Religion, General Fiction and Interior Design and Layout. His latest novel Stillpoint uses fictional characters to bring to life the events that took place before, during and after the creation of the State of Israel. "If there is no awareness of what took place and what continues to this day, how can there be any real understanding?" Colin asks. ...

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GEORGE

Editor’s note: The following letter is from a friend of mine. I had known him for almost twenty years. We were both seekers when we met. I stayed in touch with him over the intervening time. This summer, while visiting my family on Vancouver Island, we met several times. One day we took a drive to Gold River and, of course, shared with each other the inner journey. During our conversation I saw that something had fallen into place like the last piece of a jig saw puzzle. Shortly afterwards my friend wrote the following letter which was later responded to by Ramesh.

Nanaimo, British Columbia, Canada

July 28, 1995

Dear Sir,

I’m a sixty two year old seeker and retired lawyer (1994) who was turned to the search in 1964 when my beloved father committed suicide. I was first drawn to the Spiritualists and was latterly a student of Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, Yogananda, Krishnamurti, Bubba Free John, and others, mostly in the Eastern Indian tradition. Ramana Maharishi was studied over the years but was not even partially understood until recently. Buddhism, Christianity, and Islam have been carefully studied, especially through the mystics.

The conclusion that has been reached is that all religions lead to the same place, namely the transcendence of the me. From talking with Colin (an old friend and fellow seeker) and reading your books, I am aware intellectually that:

1. There is no such entity as me.

2. The me has no free will. Experience has led me to this belief. There seems ample evidence that it is so.

3. Life on the relative plane is an illusion. I remember, when very young, thinking that, this is not real, but it was through thoughts that had no words. I also experienced this kind of awareness in my fifties, when I did a technique known as rebirthing. Visions, in the form of memories of earlier times, were induced by the breath, with the help and guidance of a professional rebirther. Some of the visions were of infant times before I knew any language.

4. Life is a unicity on every level.

The most intense spiritual experience I ever had was remembering immortality. It seemed a fact that I had always been here and always would be. It was exactly like remembering. The intenseness of it makes me believe that the experience was from a deep level, but I suppose it was Maya nevertheless. It came about from reading Krishnamurti who said that the next time one wanted to know what it was all about one should earnestly stay with the question and not get distracted by switching to something else. I was very agitated with my fruitless search, and I did what he told me. I remembered.

I would like to spend one month in Bombay in January / February of next year. Would it be possible to see you, either by yourself or with others, most preferably as close as possible to my arrival? My earnestness is of the highest degree. Present plans are to arrive in Bombay in the middle of the month. Would that be convenient?

Please advise. Any information you may give with regard to accommodations would be appreciated. My needs are modest, and would be served by staying at a third class hotel. Thank you ever so much.

Yours most earnestly

George

MARC

Editor’s note: This letter was written to Ramesh less than three weeks prior to the experience of enlightenment.

Thun, Switzerland

December 11, 1993

Very dear Guruji,

Ihope this letter finds you well. Unfortunately, for health reasons, I was unable to come and see you in August as I’d hoped. I had a severe problem with my back. Now it is much better, but finances are poor. I have enough to get by with, my needs being small, but I cannot afford travel to India at this time. I’m sorry. I hope you don’t mind. I wanted to see you again, and feel sad that I cannot.

I still live a retired, almost reclusive life. It is, however, neither withdrawal from society brought about by myself, nor withdrawal forced upon me by outer conditions. Somehow or other, it turned out this way, and there is no impulse to change it. I enjoy both the solitude and the occasional times spent with people. Rarely do I find I’m the active one, the initiator. Despite a feeling of love and compassion, there is no inclination to find a job, enter a profession, or do social work. Sometimes this irritates me. Earlier, perhaps ten years ago, social, psychological, religious and spiritual things were important to me. Now, excitement about such matters is gone, and I’m no longer drawn to them. Of course, when the opportunity presents itself, I help if I can.

Despite the threat of nuclear weapons, pollution, war, social disorder, individual and global suffering, there is the utter certainty that all is well. I’m not callous; my heart is deeply moved by such things, and when faced with the suffering of people, I console them if I can.

But sometimes, when thought comes in, there is a certain fear, and concern arises over my aloofness and passivity. I do not fit the social norms, having no employment, profession, or family.

Last night a strong wind rattled the doors and windows in the house and made entrance through all the small openings. And amidst all the noise was the silence, that deep stillness that pervades all. How I love that emptiness. It is not void, but full of the essence of life, full of all that once was, and all that is to come, whether tomorrow, or in billions of years, in billions of unborn worlds. That stillness is full of the unnamable. It is the formless, all embracing, nourishing whole, completely unaffected and aloof.

The stillness is here now, as the day breaks and I sit at my desk writing.

I was always afraid of the dark, the invisible, the incomprehensible. I never thought I’d be at home in it. Now my heart tells me that this unfathomable, infinite immensity, which gives rise to all manifestation, implicit in all form, is one’s origin, one’s real nature. There is no one and no thing, just That, the One, and its intoxicating dream, both horrible and exquisite.

All this is due to you, Guruji! Since meeting you I have read many books on Buddhism, Taoism and Advaita. The works of different teachers, from different schools, came into my hands, but none were able to put truth so simply, so clearly, so directly, and with such purity as you, not even Maharaj. How fortunate to have met you!

I wish you and Sharda all the best, a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Much love and affection.

Mark

Editor’s note: Enlightenment has occurred but the realization of it took several days to sink in. This can be seen the in the following letters, culminating in the letter of January 5th, at which time the dawning realization is complete.

Thun

January 2, 1994

Dear Frank,

What joy upon receiving your letter! It always brings the love and blessings of Guruji with it. And what a priceless gift you sent me, a wonderful and precious book, Consciousness Writes. One can feel it was compiled and commented on by someone who has a deep understanding and whose heart is on fire. I’m sure many seekers will find great help from it. Perhaps, one may even get the final push, the final blow. I’m totally delighted. I’m moved when I think of how unwell you were when you did this marvelous work. That in itself is a wonder.

My dear Frank, I always feel near to you, though we’ve never met and I know nothing about you except what is printed in From Consciousness to Consciousness and Consciousness Writes. I hope you are well physically, phenomenally. From my own experience, I know that physical weakness or pain can make the body-psyche-complex so open and sensitive that the heart begins to sing for the Beloved, for That. It can nudge one’s heart and mind over the edge, to the point of no return.

I know you have found Peace, or rather, It has found you. How beautiful when the heart is immersed in That, lost forever!

When I held your book in my hands, a sudden feeling of deep sadness came over me. It lasted but a few seconds and was gone. The thought came that Ramesh’s work is done now, and it could well be that his body will remain with us for only a short time more, one or two years, perhaps. The same feeling came when I received a copy of Consciousness Speaks. It’s a rhetorical statement I know, but I hope the seekers who need Ramesh’s help will soon find their way to him. Of course they will; it can be no other way, providing it is their destiny.

Dear friend, I know I will enjoy the many hours reading Consciousness Writes. It is touching and gratifying to open it and read. I was happy to learn of the transforming effect Ramesh’s teaching has on so many people. My heart goes out to them.

I was moved when reading the letter. It gave me the same feeling I had when reading the statement you made when you said, you were loveless.(Mentioned in the last paragraphs of Ramesh’s letter of June 9th, 1988.) It was from this deep sense of compassion that I sent a letter to Wayne in January of 1989. I thought he was the editor of From Consciousness to Consciousness. I had no idea it was you, that you were the publisher. Never had I done such a thing before. Never, from my own initiative, had I interfered with someone else’s personal affairs, particularly concerning private spiritual matters. I tell you this now because I sense your heart is burning with Love. So please forgive my intrusion. There was no intention to put myself up and you down. After I had mailed the letter it suddenly struck me what I had done. I found myself wondering how I could talk to another human being in that way? But it was too late. I was anxious when I received your reply and opened it. I was happy to receive Ramesh’s letter of December 10, 1990 in which he spoke of your awakening.

I want you to know that the paragraphs on the acceptance of the ego in From Consciousness to Consciousness had a significant impact on me. And how well you explain that problem in the Editor’s note (pp. 11-12) in the new draft of Consciousness Writes!

From the beginning, you’ve always been dear to me, and I consider you a true friend. Other than Ramesh, you’re the only one with whom I can speak, concerning the things of real importance, concerning ultimate truth.

A letter from Alf Luchow brought a request for permission to publish a photo I’d taken of Ramesh in June of 1988. I sat down to write a letter, giving my consent. I was surprised when the letter turned out to be lengthy and quite personal, despite the fact I don’t know him. He phoned after receiving my letter and we had an enjoyable conversation. Later we had more conversations in which we discussed some problems in the translation of Consciousness Speaks.

My dear Frank, when I held your letter and book in my hands, I felt an overwhelming sense of love coming over me, and I was compelled to write to you as quickly as possible.

Last week Ramesh was almost constantly in my heart and mind. When I got your letter yesterday, at 9 AM on January 1st, the feeling of his presence became so strong as to be almost unbearable. This sense of presence I knew was Love. In the middle of the night I had to go for a long walk in the deserted streets of the neighborhood where I live.

My heart is with you.

Much love,

Marc

Thun

January 3, 1994

Dear Frank,

I was so happy to speak with you by phone. I’m astonished at the vehemence of the impulse that compelled me to call. Forgive me for talking so much. I hope I didn’t fatigue you. It was only last night after our conversation, followed by a long walk, that I realized that something very definite had happened when I received your letter and parcel on January first. From the time I sat in my armchair with the letter and book in my hands, there has been the feeling of a very intense presence. I don’t know what happened, or how it happened, or what this presence is. I do not want to know. I do not care. There is no exalted or exaggerated feeling of joy, no ecstasy, no tears: all of which are well known to me from former experiences. There is just an impersonal sense of presence. I mentioned on the phone that I was overwhelmed. That was true, but it was not of an emotional nature. It is completely different, very close and intimate, and, at the same time, completely aloof and untouched. I only felt overwhelmed when I became aware of that presence. It was so powerful and so near. I don’t know exactly when it first came. It brings with it love and peace, familiar to me from experiences of I Am, over the past sixteen years.

There is the firm conviction, a deep knowing, that all there is, is God, all there is, is That. The whole world, including the body-mind-mechanism called Marc, is imaginary in a certain way, the play of That within Itself, without substance without independent existence. It is the dream of That, the play of That with Itself, for Its own sake and pleasure. Truly this whole world is nothing but God, a manifestation of Consciousness in Consciousness.

And what a joke, this knowingness was always there, and this body-mind-psyche resisted It, caught as it were, in the overpowering, blinding conditioning etched in the brains of billions of people since the time of conception, for thousands and thousands of years.

All concern for the manifest world, including Marc, is gone. Until the event of this past Saturday, there was always a certain feeling of uncertainty. This had nothing to do with the teaching, but concerned Marc, his life and his future. Sometimes concern arose over my lack of a profession. At other times I worried about homosexual tendencies that existed along with my heterosexual desires. I had difficulty accepting all of this. And now all doubts, all uncertainties, are wiped away. It happened in an instant. Not just the doubts and concerns I mentioned, but all doubt concerning anything. There is absolutely no caring about an ego, no questions left concerning truth, reality, or whatever. All anxiety and tribulation are gone. There is the utter conviction it’s been completely uprooted. There is no fear it will return; and if it did, who would be there to take charge of it? There is no one here anymore!

That’s all.

With much fondness and love

Marc

Thun

January 5, 1994

Dear Frank,

I find myself sitting at the desk and typing this letter directly into