Life's Not Easy for a Girl Named Zucchini

By David J. Wighton

Readers will encounter some unusual events in Book #51. An impregnated robot tells her creator to suck on a grenade. He likes her feisty. A self-confessed harlot takes two church officials who had tried to help her to court. Teenage girls have the impunity to wear their underwear and some kitchen implements to school on top of their uniforms. And, Granny goes into the chocolate goodie business.

• Language: English
• Publisher: David J. Wighton
• Release date: Apr 6, 2024
• ISBN: 9798224997121

David J. Wighton

David Wighton is a retired educator who enjoys writing youth novels when he's not on a basketball court coaching middle-school girls. The books in his Wilizy series peek at how people lived after the word's governments collapsed in the chaos that followed the catastrophic rise in ocean levels and the disappearance of the world's last deposits of oil. Luckily today, in the 2080s, the citizens of Alberta are safe because their It's Only Fair society uses brain-bands to zap people whenever they break a rule. That way, all children grow up knowing the difference between right and wrong. Unfortunately, they're also taught that women's ankles need to be covered so that men can't see them and turn into perverts. Plus, no-one in Alberta can have babies any more because the government manufactures them in a way that ensures that no child has an unfair advantage over any other child. All of this makes sense to Alberta's dictator, but not to Will and Izzy – two teenagers who are decidedly different from everyone else.Wighton's novels have strong teenage characters driving the plot and facing challenges that, in many respects, are no different from what teenagers face today. His novels are intended to entertain and readers will find adventure, romance, suspense, humour, a strong focus on family, plus a touch of whimsy. Wighton also writes to provoke a little thought about life in today's societies and what the future might bring. Teachers may find the series useful in the classroom and the novels are priced with that intent in mind.

Book preview

Chapter 1

Hey girl! What's your name?

Scarlett Skylar.

Are you making that name up?

No, that's my real name.

You could get into a lot of trouble if you're lying to me. What are your parents' names?

I'm not lying to you. My name is Scarlett Skylar. I don't know my parents' names.

How can you not know your parents' names?

"They died when I was young. I just knew them as Mommy and Daddy."

Where did you and your parents live?

Snotbottom.

Where is that?

Where Wingham River joins Clostic River.

How did they die?

My parents fished for a living. One day they went out fishing when the rivers were flooding and never came back.

Who raised you?

My brother.

What's his name?

Sebastian.

Sebastian Skylar?

Yes. Why are you writing that down?

I'm a security guard. We take the names of everybody entering Bingbottom that doesn't belong here. Where's your brother?

I don't know.

How can you not know where he is?

He went out one morning and didn't come back.

Did you look for him?

Of course. I went to the river. His boat was gone.

Fishing boat?

Yes.

Would he leave you alone?

No. He would never do that. I would starve. He sells fish in the market and that gives us money to buy other food. I'm not strong enough to handle the boat by myself.

So, he probably had a fishing accident and is dead.

Yes.

Why didn't you say that?

You asked me where he was. I don't know where his body is. Probably in the ocean now.

Did you have any relatives in Snotbottom that could take care of you?

No.

No aunts, uncles, brothers or sisters?

No.

Did you have anybody that would help you?

No.

Why not?

I have red hair.

I noticed that. So what?

For some people, having red hair means that I am a witch.

Did your parents have red hair?

My mother did.

Was she a witch?

My brother said that everybody in Snotbottom thought that she was a witch.

Answer the question. Was she a witch? Did she grow herbs to make spells?

I remember her growing herbs in a garden, but that was so our food would taste better. Eating fish all the time is boring.

Did she cast spells on anybody in the village?

She knew how to spell words. I do too. But I learned those in school.

Did she magically heal anybody?

I fell once and she stopped the bleeding. I know how to do that too now. You just put grass on the bleeding spot. Does that mean I'm a witch?

How did you get to Bingbottom all the way from Snotbottom?

I walked.

All by yourself?

No. I met a guy who walked with me. He said he would help me.

How old are you?

Fifteen.

Did he touch you in any way?

Only when he passed me some food.

What kind of food?

Rabbit. He had a slingshot and could make a fire. I had already eaten all my dried fish packs.

Did you meet anybody else on your way?

No. We hid during the day.

Why?

I'm fifteen years old plus I have red hair. He wasn't big enough to protect me.

What was his name?

Jimmy.

Where is he now?

I don't know. He said good bye and left.

Why are you in Bingbottom?

I'll be safe here. I don't want to be tied to a stake and burned to death.

...

Did I pass your test, Sebastian?

Yes. You'll be interrogated before you enter Bingbottom. Stick to the script and you'll be fine.

Back to the Table of Contents

Chapter 2

[Narrator: I have to take you back in time a month. I didn't become aware of Nebraska's religious fervor until that began to have an impact on the Wilizy. To the best of my knowledge, this is what happened in August of 2101. I'll start in Hastings, Nebraska.]

The city of Hastings lies along the West Fork Big Blue River that is west of Lincoln. Explorers John C. Frémont and Kit Carson first visited it in 1842. The community was founded in 1872 at the junction of the Burlington and Missouri River and the St. Joseph and Denver City railroads. The city was named for Col. Thomas D. Hastings, a railroad contractor. It soon became a transportation center.

The economy of early Hastings was primarily agricultural with regional-based cattle and hogs keeping the meat packing business thriving. However, Hastings had a strong business economy and these businesses were what fueled the afore-mentioned fervor. If you think that small city businesses can't have a wide impact on people's life, consider this. Edwin E. Perkins of Hastings invented a popular drink in 1927. That drink was known as Kool-Aid and it became popular across the entire United States before The Troubles.

Kool-Aid fit in very well in this very conservative region of the state. Hastings was a rural community rooted in hometown values and civic pride that focused on maintaining their quality of life, cultural offerings and a stable economy. For example, the town had no liquor stores because lemonade and Kool-Aid were all the people needed to quench their thirst. Even colas were shunned because of their caffeine content. In this environment, a church that espoused purity was a perfect fit.

In early August 2101, a meeting was held in the basement of Hastings' Purity First Church. This was where the youngsters were taken when the adults were attending the Sunday morning service. Think of it as an activity room for children two years old to six years old. Once they entered grade two, children attended church upstairs with their parents. There, they learned how to sit still and not talk for up two hours. Their parents thought that this was a valuable skill to learn.

Back to the basement. A large basement was needed for the kids because the church attracted several hundred faithful every Sunday. Numerous crates and boxes were placed against one long wall. These containers held toys, games, balls and anything else that children might enjoy playing with. Each container was color coded so that children knew where everything went after it was used. Clean up preceded the time when plastic wrap would be removed from the trays of dessert, but only if age groups had met their goals for the day.

Periodically during the morning, the parent in charge of each age group would call for quiet time. This meant that the 3-year-olds, for example, went to their circle of chairs and sat down. They would be released from quiet time only if every child in the group sat quietly on their chairs. No talking, no fidgeting. When they met their allotted time, as indicated by a clock on the wall, they could play with the toys. At the end of the morning, if they had met their goals, they were rewarded with desserts, which were provided by the parents helping out in the basement that week. Rice Krispy squares and Kool-Aid were big winners. This way, children learned that church was a fun place to go and they received training in learning how to sit still and remain quiet.

In psychological circles, this kind of training is called Classical Conditioning. It's been around since the 1950s when a man named B. F. Skinner used it to train pigeons to play Ping-Pong, for example. The basic conditioning goes like this. Put a pigeon in a cage; ring a bell; when the pigeon pecked on a lever, that action would release a food reward. Repeat until the pigeon was 'conditioned' to peck on the lever. It's called Stimulus-Response conditioning. If pigeons can learn to do what an adult wants them to do, children can too.

We're back again in the basement, which was empty this day - a Wednesday afternoon. High Priest had called for a meeting of the church's senior members of all three of their Nebraskan congregations. Those members were the High Cardinal of Hastings, the High Cardinal of Norfolk, and the High Cardinal of Lexington. High Priestess Zucchini from the Hastings church was also attending. Yes, there were high priestesses in the Norfolk and Lexington churches, but they weren't invited. From the church's perspective, one woman at any meeting was one more than was needed.

They were sitting around a dessert table that had been positioned in the middle of the basement. The chairs were adult-sized fold-ups. The men were wearing casual clothing and had deposited a black briefcase on the floor by their chairs. High Priestess Zucchini was also in the normal garb for a woman, as will be described later. Her chair was set back from the table. She didn't have a briefcase. A multi-media computer device was positioned to project some graphics onto a pull-down multi-media screen. High Priest called for order and began his presentation.

# # # # # # #

This screen shows last year's membership numbers and this year's numbers. You can see that the growth in Hastings has been very high. There's been hardly any membership growth in Norfolk and Lexington.

We were roughly even with Hastings last year, High Cardinal (Lexington) observed. What did Hastings do to get that growth?

High Priestess Zucchini assumed the task of collecting weekly contributions. This screen here shows monthly incomes from all three churches.

That's amazing, High Cardinal (Norfolk) praised. Do I sense that in addition to greatly larger congregations, the average parishioner in Hastings is paying more now?

You are correct. Here are the average payments per parishioner in the three locations.

...

What's the secret? Can we do this too?

That would depend on your high priestess and that's something that we can discuss at another time. I've called you here for another reason. The large increase in revenue from Hastings gives the church the opportunity to nominate some candidates for the positions of School Trustees in the upcoming elections in Hastings at the end of August. Usually, there is very little electioneering for trustees. To date, trustees are low profile politicians with little desire to do anything substantive. But, if every member of our congregation voted, and if we posted a lot of candidate signs, it's possible that the Hastings church could elect all five of the trustees. That would give us the power to put our ideals of Purity First into the schools. All of us have voiced concerns about what the youth of our cities have become. With this revenue, we would have the opportunity to influence their behavior and morals here in Hastings.

Are you asking us to vote, High Priest?

Just raise your hand if you agree with the idea of helping our youth in Hastings become more pure.

...

High Priest wasn't done. I'm glad that all of you are so enthusiastic. I have enough funds for the church to sponsor candidates for trustees in Norfolk and Lexington as well. Raise your hand if you agree we should help the youth in those communities become more pure.

# # # # # # #

The rest of the meeting was spent planning how the church would help elect their members. Planning was important because Nebraskan laws prohibited any church in the state from interfering in state elections, which included that of School Trustees. This was all part of the principle of separating state and church, in this case by banning churches from becoming involved in such political matters as electing trustees. The candidates would have to run as private citizens and design and print their own signs. However, to assist the candidates, the church would issue inflated (i.e. false) receipts for their tithes that they give to the church weekly. Some losing candidates might complain that the election was crooked, but they'd find no proof that the church was involved.

[A tithe is a sum of money that each male parishioner would deposit in the collections basket each Sunday. Typically, it was 1/10 of the male's income. Women of the church didn't contribute a tithe because they weren't allowed to work. More on that later.]

Back to the Table of Contents

Chapter 3

Maddy and Chad were sitting at their kitchen table, hydrating. It was the evening of Labor Day, the first Monday of September, 2101. They had just finished their first workout after arriving home from their get-out-of-Tucson holiday. Classes would start tomorrow; full-scale team workouts would begin later that week.

Both Maddy and Chad were in good physical shape, in terms of conditioning at least. Neither had touched a basketball in weeks. They did an easy two-hour practice together getting used to shooting, dribbling, etc. After that, Chad found a glove and he helped Maddy ease into some pitching drills. Two hours for that. For Maddy, a four-hour practice was considered just getting up a sweat.

Of course, raising a sweat meant that the body would need to replace those lost fluids. Chad needed reminding on that. Devil bodies did not need hydrating, not that Chad practiced in a devil body. He sometimes forgot to drink fluids. One time, he and Maddy had been walking to the SUB after a workout when he suddenly felt dizzy. He had to grab Maddy's shoulder to stay upright.

When did you last drink something, she asked.

Yesterday morning?

This was yet another complication of having a devil body inside a mortal one. So, Maddy kept an eye on his hydration level along with hers. When she drank, so did he.

We need to talk, she said.

I thought we were.

[On that, Chad was right. They had been talking about their workout while they sipped water.]

We need to have a serious talk, she amended.

[Many males would take the mention of a serious talk and immediately cast their memories back to what had happened recently, as in what he must have done wrong to warrant a serious chat. Chad hadn't learned to do that yet because he and Maddy got along very well.]

What do you want to talk about? he asked naively.

What almost happened on our holiday?

[That wasn't going to work. Lots of things had happened.]

We were having a good time and you tried to steal home, she hinted.

I did try to steal. I forgot that the best catcher in university ball was behind the plate and the throw would arrive well before I would. I changed my mind.

I was going to fumble the ball. [Metaphorically speaking.]

Oh.

Yeah. Oh.

We were planning on cutting back on the necking, so what's the problem?

"Did I tell you how Alicia and Maureen couldn't