Obsessed The Hidden Depths of Love Addiction

By Brittany Forrester

"Obsessed" delves into the complex and misunderstood world of love addiction, shedding light on the hidden depths and intricacies of this consuming phenomenon. Drawing from psychological research and expert insights, this book explores the relentless pursuit of love and intimacy that can lead individuals into the grips of addiction.

From the thrill of infatuation to the depths of despair, "Obsessed" navigates the tumultuous journey of love addiction, uncovering the underlying motivations, behaviors, and consequences that characterize this gripping compulsion. Through candid narratives and compassionate analysis, readers gain a deeper understanding of the profound emotional and psychological forces at play.

"Obsessed" offers guidance for those struggling with love addiction, providing strategies for self-awareness, healing, and reclaiming control over their lives. Whether you're grappling with your own love addiction or seeking to support someone you care about, this book offers invaluable insights and pathways to empowerment.

• Language: English
• Publisher: vincenzo nappi
• Release date: Apr 1, 2024
• ISBN: 9798224797394

Book preview

Chapter One

Introduction

LOVE IS A FEELING THAT permeates human life in every aspect and gives it meaning. Many types of love can be experienced, each of which can be expressed differently. However, most individuals have likely been conditioned since childhood to think that the only genuinely indispensable form of love is towards the partner with whom they choose to build a romantic relationship. Given the models proposed by the mass media, it is also likely that they have come into contact, at least sometimes, with a distorted idea of love. In many cases, loving seems to mean suffering; the only way to experience this feeling is to experience overwhelming passion. It often happens to hear stories from friends or see movies where dysfunctional and manipulative relational dynamics prevail. Usually, one of the parties involved in the relationship is obsessed with the other, and the continuous presence of arguments, anxiety, and suffering in the relationship is presented as usual. It is not always easy to realize that, in these cases, loving too much means not loving at all. Thinking that extreme gestures must be made to obtain a person's closeness and believing that one cannot live without love does not mean loving.

In these cases, the relationship becomes a sort of drug that harms the individual but from which they cannot abstain. The models internalized since childhood, combined with specific attachment experiences with one's parents and one's personality traits, may have led, in these cases, to the development of a condition known as Love Addiction (LA). Given the similarity, at the behavioral level, between the phenomena characterizing substance use disorder and those characterizing Love Addiction, one wonders if there are and what are the points of overlap, even at the neurobiological level, between the two conditions. To achieve this goal, the concept of substance dependence and its neurobiological correlates are first investigated. Then, the brain mechanisms underlying the experience of falling in love and the similarities between the latter and those present in addictions are explored. Finally, some criteria for defining Love Addiction are proposed, a condition that goes beyond the normal process of falling in love, and that is activated when being in love endangers one's physical and emotional well-being. Then, the possible risk factors for the development of LA and the possible consequences, including stalking, are discussed. Finally, the current treatment perspectives of the disorder are presented.

Chapter Two

Love Addiction

LOVE IS AN ALMOST UNIVERSAL phenomenon. In an interview with 166 cultures, evidence of romantic love was found in 147. As for the remaining 19, likely, the ethnographers who conducted the research could not pose the question in such a way that these populations could express their point of view on the matter. Several scientists argue that love is, before being a feeling, a motivational system selected by evolution to allow individuals to build and maintain relationships aimed at reproduction. Essentially, evolution would have ensured that forming bonds, like eating and all activities necessary for survival and reproduction, would bring pleasure to the individual, motivating them to carry them out. The development of bipedalism may have been a central factor in this process. Female hominids, while moving across the savannah to obtain food, were obliged to carry their offspring in their arms instead of on their shoulders, making it difficult for them to defend themselves, thus requiring the protection and assistance of a companion. Similarly, it was more accessible and functional for males to support and assist a single woman with her offspring in this specific ecological niche. Alongside the evolution of bonding and attachment systems to offspring, therefore, the brain system for positive romantic dependence would also have emerged to motivate males and females to focus their mating energy on a single partner and stay together long enough to develop the attachment feelings necessary to fulfill their parental functions.

Numerous studies conducted on mammals have shown how various characteristics inherent in their mating rituals can also be found in typical manifestations of romantic love, such as increased energy, redirection of attention and behavior towards a specific individual, obsessive thoughts, affiliative gestures, and the pursuit of control over the partner. From a neurobiological perspective, various brain areas and neurotransmitters involved in the experience of love have been identified. The brain activation patterns of individuals in love who are looking at photos of their partner are investigated, and it was found that they largely overlap with those of individuals experiencing euphoria post-cocaine injection.

Love, therefore, seems to originate from brain mechanisms similar to those involved in substance dependence. Just as many individuals start using substances to alleviate a state of discomfort, the drive to enter into a romantic relationship appears to be more significant when the individual is facing stressful situations. Acute stress, unlike chronic stress, leads the individual to seek closeness and social support to alleviate it. Just as with drug use, contact with a loved one and sexual activity release dopamine in the reward circuit areas, generating a sense of solid euphoria and well-being. The massive presence of this neurotransmitter allows the individual to focus on the object of love, which becomes a salient stimulus. The person in love experiences a general increase in energy