What's the Number for 911 Again?: More Wacky 911 Calls

By Leland Gregory

Faster than you can dial 9-1-1, author Leland Gregory delivers his follow-up to What's the Number for 911 with more real-life calls to the country's emergency operators. What's the Number for 911 Again' answers the urgent call for more of these wacky conversations. "Can you unplug my coffeepot I left on at my house" "Where can I get rid of my Christmas tree" Amazing and hilarious!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Open Road Integrated Media
• Release date: Jul 30, 2013
• ISBN: 9780740792496

Book preview

This book is dedicated to my wife, Gloria Graves Gregory. She's all I ever wanted and more than I deserve.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

I would like to acknowledge the following men and women who not only provided me with stories of stupid 911 phone calls but who also dedicated their lives to helping others. They are all kind, intelligent, and funny people and I’m honored to know them. Thank you.

I want to send a very special Thank You! to Cheryl Valle and Kim Winward. They helped me uncover stories and transcripts, gave me advice and contacts, and went out of their way to make this book better and funnier than the first. Cheryl has been instrumental in helping my efforts become more acceptable and appreciated in the 911 community. Kim supplied me with numerous stories and, in addition to being a full-time dispatcher, is leading the fight for greater awareness of Spinal Muscular Atrophy. Please visit her site at: www.our-sma-angels.com/myheros.

I can’t thank either of you enough.

THIS EARTHQUAKE HAS BEEN SCHEDULED FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE

During the Loma Prieta earthquake of October 17, 1989, a male called the communications center time and time again asking the same question: When will the next aftershock be? The caller was told repeatedly not to tie up the emergency line with questions that couldn’t possibly be answered. He became more and more impatient with each call of When will the next aftershock be? until finally one fed-up dispatcher responded, We’ve scheduled one for about five minutes from now; hang on!

REPEAT OFFENDER

It was a mystery that even the ingenious Mrs. Marple couldn’t figure out. Why was someone repeatedly dialing 911 without speaking to the dispatcher? It could possibly be a silent cry for help—someone in real trouble who was unable to speak. When Boynton Beach, Florida, police rushed to the apartment of Barbara Marple, they solved the riddle for the recurring rings. Barbara, a twenty-three-year-old supermarket employee, denied making the calls. After some deductive reasoning the detectives quickly surmised who the culprit was. It wasn’t Ms. Marple and it wasn’t the butler (there wasn’t one this time). It was Kitten! Not a bleach-blond bimbo, but a calico cat named Kitten. Police discovered the cat in the bedroom with its paw on the redial button. But the phone wasn’t programmed to dial 911. The cat had pawed out 9, then 1, then another 1—and then continued hitting the redial button. The kitty culprit was collared and later cuddled by Ms. Marple, whose only explanation of the cat’s activity was, She was probably trying to call my mother in New Jersey. Hmm, a likely story!

--911 REPORT--

I left my car in a ditch and I’m now at home. Can I get an officer to stop by my car and grab the presents I left in it and bring them to me?

YOU GOTTA HAND IT TO HIM

Michael Murray’s hand was so damaged he knew he needed help—so he called 911. When the paramedics and the police arrived at his apartment in Albany, New York, they were a little suspicious of Murray’s explanation of his hurt hand. He claimed he had cut it mowing the lawn. The only problem with his story was that it was during the April Fool’s Day snowstorm of 1997—and the guy lived in an apartment. After a little investigation the police discovered that Murray had in fact been involved in a botched robbery of a convenience store earlier that day. During the course of the robbery Murray had struggled with the clerk and the shotgun he was carrying went off, blasting away part of his hand. The one-armed bandit was arrested and taken to jail. You can count how many years in prison Murray got on one hand—in his case, you have to.

img_03.jpg