The Well-Being In You: How 3 Simple Principles Can Help You Tune into Your Innate Psychological Health and Thrive

By Joanna Hill

The Well-Being in You: How 3 Simple Principles Can Help You Tune into Your Innate Psychological Health and Thrive is a love letter and a simple manual to manage life’s challenges and thrive in an abundance of opportunity. This book is a conversation that brings out what you already have inside. Personal and client stories and reflection questions give you ah ha moments, transforming how you feel day-to-day. By exploring well-being, you’ll be able to experience it more deeply and often, and to know what gets in the way.  


We all struggle at times. We get overwhelmed by decisions or lost in what feel like bigger problems. Whether you can’t shake a sense of fear, worry, anxiety or depression; or you simply want to feel better about your relationships, work, and the world, this book is your companion and guide to deeper peace-of-mind, energy, and clarity. And it doesn’t require what you might think. 


The Well-Being in You explains that there’s nothing you have to do but let go of what you think you know, and you can find a new baseline of well-being. Realizing that you have a psychological operating system is the quickest way to allow well-being to work for you! 


You will learn to:  




 Know what well-being really is  


 Notice you already have well-being and trust it in yourself and others  


 Get out of your own way  


Use your thinking (intellect and intuition) effectively, befriend feelings, and be mindful of moods  


 Ease into motivation, purpose, and flow  




How does having a new baseline of well-being feel? People are in awe of how different and limitless they can feel. For example, you’ll notice a sense of relief, calm, and okay-ness. Self-compassion and confidence become your springboard for tasks and life changes. Flow brings just-right ideas, empowering insights, and clear next steps for decisions and challenges. Resilience, worthiness, and connection—even if they previously felt impossible to achieve, are naturally yours. Your own bliss and genius lead the journey— for your benefit and the world’s. 


YOU ARE ALWAYS (at most) A MOMENT AWAY FROM WELL-BEING— no matter what. Well-being is yours to tap into. You just need to know how it works. 

• Language: English
• Publisher: Gatekeeper Press
• Release date: Feb 9, 2024
• ISBN: 9781662945052

Book preview

PREFACE

Everyone has well-being. There are no exceptions. Not only do you have well-being, but you also have access to it at all times. You are always just a moment away. You may have heard that your body is made of roughly 60 percent water. But did you know you have 100 percent well-being as an essential part of who you are? Well-being is the most essential part of yourself—because it’s your essence, and it’s of the utmost importance.

There are many ways to describe well-being:

• A state of mind

• A spiritual powerhouse

• Innate psychological health

• Clear thinking and deeply reassuring feelings

• A natural connection with yourself and others

• The mental capacity to handle the moment

• The key to surviving, finding ease and flow, and thriving

Day to day, you might not notice well-being. You may feel insecure, anxious, overwhelmed, or defeated. You might be preoccupied with worries, hardships, illness, or injustice. What you’ll discover in this book is that whatever thoughts you struggle with, and no matter how difficult the moments are in your path, they can’t harm your well-being. As long as you’re alive, it exists within you—intact, secure, and present.

Who you are at your core is well-being.

In high school, I interviewed to volunteer for a suicide prevention hotline. The interviewer asked, Who are you, really? I was stumped and embarrassed. Unable to find a deep, insightful answer, I drew a mental blank.

After a long pause, I answered, I am __ years old and I am from ____________ . Now I might add, My profession is ____________. I am a mom, wife, daughter, sister, aunt, and friend.

What would you say? Would you mention your upbringing, achievements, goals, regrets, and behaviors? Looking beyond your identity or what your life looks like, you can connect to your basic nature underneath all of that. You can notice the energy of well-being. It doesn’t change over time or require work.

Well-being is as natural and irreversible as a river flowing. It’s as plentiful a source of solutions as the sun, wind, and earth. Well-being is as full of energy and adaptability as a hummingbird. It’s a force working on your behalf. You will become increasingly familiar with well-being as you read this book.

You will learn Three Principles that offer you the most direct way to experience well-being by knowing how it works and what gets in the way. As you turn your attention to it, you can feel well-being more of the time. The following chapters are intended to serve as a flashlight and a magnet—shining the way and pulling you toward what lies within you.

Much like learning to ride a bike, the learning in this book is an intuitive and practical one that takes you the distance. Once you know about your abilities and the abilities of other people, you’ll always have this foundation, and it will serve you whatever life brings.

For thirty years, I’ve worked in the public mental health system and in private counseling. I’ve witnessed lives change when I point people to this knowledge. I’ve seen how this information can transform someone’s experience of suffering or stuckness to being comfortable and able to manage difficult situations. From there, I see people alter their trajectory.

What you’ll read in this book will make all the difference. In my years of working with these Principles, I have witnessed the following changes:

• Adolescents unable to function from anxiety become confident and motivated.

• Couples barreling down the divorce track create relationships that improve and thrive.

• Adults trapped in decades of resentment find the freedom to pursue their dreams.

• Teachers no longer bolt from the school premises on the first day of summer but opt in to school-run well-being workshops.

• Health providers who, instead of getting burned out, improve their personal well-being at work.

These profound changes grow exponentially, creating a ripple effect. One teacher establishes a classroom climate of well-being. One CEO leads a creative, collaborative work environment. One individual helps her family heal from generations of addiction and abuse. When enough individuals learn, organizations and companies thrive. School districts become spirited. Communities are empowered.

I’ve witnessed hundreds of adults, children, and families become inoculated against stress, capable of finding innovative solutions, and prepared to offer talent and passion.

This information has been the greatest source of relief and reassurance I return to during difficult times and on routine days. While we don’t have control over what life brings, we have the internal resources to find solutions and to feel peace of mind. This knowledge is a gift that is too good not to be shared.

Think of this book as not just a gift but a love letter. Your love letter comes from someone who sees something so wonderful, exciting, and limitless about you that I want you to know how I see you. I’m so overflowing with appreciation that I need to express it. I want you to have the gift of knowing who you are—you are truly valuable, lovable, and worthy of enjoying life.

Think of this book as not just a gift but a love letter.

Just knowing that you were born with well-being and always have access to it will fundamentally improve your life. At any age and stage, you can slice through adversity. Believe it or not, there’s no situation that is too big. Well-being has your back.

To experience well-being and benefit most from reading this book, put aside what you have learned before now. Approach these chapters as if we are in a conversation. Each chapter builds on the last and ends with a story. Invite a friend or book group to join you. It helps to have others learning along with you, to talk about your insights, and share how fresh and different life is feeling.

Simply show up with an open mind and enjoy. Don’t give up before the magic happens—and be ready. You may have a shift that will last a lifetime.

This book is designed to guide you to uncover and tap into well-being. It’s not a step-by-step, linear process. It doesn’t require you to practice techniques or figure out concepts intellectually. In fact, there is no work. With a feeling of ease and an open mind ready for fresh thinking, you’ll discover an intuitive and incredibly helpful foundation.

In the first chapters, you’ll clarify and strengthen your understanding of well-being. You’ll see how well-being has shown up in your life already. Reading stories and reflecting on questions, you can articulate how well-being feels to you. You may want to make notes in a journal. However, if no words or examples come to you, that’s okay. It’s enough to simply notice your state of mind.

Chapter 1

LEARNING FROM HUMMINGBIRDS

You are outside. A small, fast object darts across the sky, entering your peripheral vision. You’re curious. Thoughts now on hold, you search for the mystery object. Luckily, you catch a glimpse of it.

You see shimmering iridescent colors—green, blue, and purple, softly covering a small, feathered body. It is a hummingbird. The tiny bird moves swiftly between blossoms. In one instant, its long, slim beak receives nectar from a flower. Just as quickly, it travels to the next. It hovers for an instant, and then it’s gone.

If you had blinked, you would have missed it. If you were close enough, though, you would have heard the hummingbird’s sound. Unlike the typical bird sound of wings flapping, it sounds like vibrating—energy vibrating.

The hummingbird is a perfect example of nature’s system of energy. A great deal of energy is required to power its movement. The nectar it drinks fuels its energy stores.¹ By drinking the blossom’s nectar, the hummingbird contributes to pollination, fulfilling its important role in the survival of plants.² Hummingbird energy is powerful and adaptable; it’s about survival, surmounting obstacles, and fulfilling purpose. The hum, the energy vibration of natural intelligence, is always present as long as the hummingbird lives.

You, too, have hummingbird energy. At your core, you share the same source: a limitless well of wisdom, clarity, resilience, grace, and power. And what you can expect from a glimpse of hummingbird energy in you is a new outlook for resilience and well-being. The ceiling you have come to accept as the normal limit will no longer be true. The sky’s the limit for how spacious, free, and content you can feel—not just today but for the rest of your life. And by following the flow of well-being, your unique skills—much needed in the world—will flourish.

MAKING ROOM FOR A PARADIGM SHIFT

Understanding what’s possible for your day-to-day experience involves a fundamental paradigm shift.

Imagine for a moment a sudden change. A blaring television is turned off—now there’s silence. Or you blink—a blurry photo is now crisp and clear. Or you land in a country with a language and culture completely unfamiliar to you. What happens in that moment?

Your brain is open and alert. Your previous thoughts aren’t so relevant or all-encompassing. The old information isn’t exactly what you need to get by. In time, you notice old assumptions are no longer the only way things can be. You observe what’s in front of you. Your fresh perspectives and impressions are energizing.

This is how I felt a huge shift when I learned the information I’ll share in this book. After two days of professional training, I came home feeling better than if I had just returned from a vacation. I want this book to give you a similar result: a completely fresh start, a more beautiful life experience—no matter how it has been, what you are going through, or what’s to come.

HOW TO READ THIS BOOK

We often get into a book and just keep reading. I would encourage you to treat this one more like a conversation in which we’re exploring a subject, whether new or familiar. Take time to notice your response and, ideally, suspend thinking about what you already know. If an idea resonates, if you notice positive feelings arise, and if you have a new insight, pause there!

Having an insight feels wonderful. Savor it for a few minutes. Dwell in that moment. Maybe jot down a note or two. Perhaps that can be your theme for the next couple of days—an idea to return to. Allow time for reflection and deepening rather than rushing from cover to cover.

Slowing down, settling in, and accessing your sense of calm and clarity gives you an experience of well-being. This is an immersive experience. Think of it like listening to music rather than learning a new subject. Read with a relaxed mindset. If you feel at ease and in the moment, that’s when the magic happens. It’s not about effort.

It’s not about your intellect. While it handles many important things, the intellect can easily go into overdrive and get in your way. Rather than speed up your mind, slow it down. Don’t be concerned about questions like How am I doing? or Am I getting it? To get the big shift, you want to reach something deeper in yourself—your innate wisdom. You can trust that you’ll tune in to what you already know inside.

Because this understanding fundamentally differs from how most of us have been guided, I ask you to look past your acquired learning and even to look deeper than the words on the page. Well-being is a fresh, ongoing source of intelligence already in you. Calm, clarity, and creative solutions are within you, and they are your best guides. My instructions are less helpful than pointing to your built-in navigational system.

Imagine your goal is to visit a waterfall. You say, I want to find and explore this amazing waterfall. I’ve tried three times, and something got in the way. The first time, I got lost and anxious. The next time, the trail was slippery and unsafe. The third time, it was shut down because of a wild animal. Today I looked at a trail map, and I need new glasses. So, if you write down the directions, I will follow them.

If I write directions, they can’t take into account the current conditions of the trail. External conditions, such as weather, fallen trees, and wild animals, change. Also, as you walk, you could wonder if you missed one of the directions, second-guess yourself, and become anxious. Internal conditions fluctuate. If you do reach the waterfall, you won’t be able to fully appreciate it without being able to see clearly. Insight, perspective, and gratitude may be lacking in moments, and we miss many daily opportunities.

So, instead of giving directions, I’ll help you clear your vision to see where you need to go. Notice and clarify the lens through which you are viewing life. At any given moment, is it accurate? How can you know? Once you are aware of your viewpoint and prioritize that awareness, you will be better equipped to tackle what’s in front of you—the changing circumstances.

Notice and clarify the lens through which you are viewing life.

Next, we’ll discuss your internal landscape—empowering you to have mental freedom and flexibility. You don’t need to be afraid of your views, and you can trust your ability to navigate the circumstances through your own clarity in the moment.

Here are some anchors: Are you in the present moment? Are the ideas from the book staying with you during the day? How is your mood while reading? How’s your outlook throughout the week? Take your time. Allow it to settle in. The more you read from a relaxed and open place and gently notice your mental state in between readings, the more likely you’ll have a fundamental shift that creates a new baseline of well-being for you.

A BIG SHIFT STARTS SMALL

Let’s go deeper into this feeling that helps to bring the big, ah-ha, life-changing transformation. You can start by learning from what you’ve already experienced in life so far.

What’s one of your favorite memories? It could be from any time, long ago or recent. Big and little moments count.

Can you think of a time when you couldn’t stop laughing? Or when you were surprised to enjoy an activity when you thought you wouldn’t? Maybe it was a success at work or realizing you’re in love; or a time when your heart was filled with the kindness of a stranger; or you offered support to strangers but felt like you received so much more in return.

Imagine we are sitting together, recalling our favorite moments so far. I’ll share a few of mine:

• I was a child sitting at my friend’s kitchen table, and we laughed so hard that we spit chocolate milk across the table.

• At my eighth-grade graduation, I danced with my parents and had no worries about being uncool.

• I chatted with old classmates at a high school reunion—feeling full of curiosity and wonder, with no trace of the anxiety that I had felt beforehand.

• I was at my sister’s side when her children were born and my grandmother’s side when she took her last breath.

Now let’s go back to you. Think of a couple of examples. Simple moments are fine. Then ask yourself, What is one thing these memories have in common?

My bet is that you were fully immersed in each. Regardless of whether the experiences were milestones or everyday occurrences, things you wished for or could never have anticipated—in that moment, you were in it.

You were in the moment.

It is common to talk about being in the moment. These moments can really be basic. You are doing a chore and a favorite song comes on. You receive an unexpected compliment, gift, or hug. A pet is especially happy to see you.

How do you feel when you read the following statements?

• You are exactly where you are supposed to be.

• What you are doing is enough.

• There is nothing to change or fix at this moment.

• You will know when it is time to do the next right thing and what that right thing is.

Are you relieved? Are you feeling skeptical, ready to run, wanting to argue, or rebel? Maybe you aren’t sure how you feel.

By slowing down to be present in the moment, you will learn you can access clarity. Think of a snow globe. When you shake a snow globe, the snow spins and swirls, and you can’t see what else is inside. Once you put the globe down, the snow settles, and you can see the contents clearly. Your mind is like a snow globe, and your thoughts are the snow. When they quiet and settle, you get a much clearer picture. This picture offers you insights and solutions that were previously invisible and that are your best bet for moving forward.

Your mind is like a snow globe, and your thoughts are the snow.

ALREADY ON A GOOD PATH

Reflecting on well-being is helpful in and of itself. There is a benefit to having a touchstone to reground or a tuning fork to harmonize. The increase in well-being, ease, and acceptance comes in many ways. It is always helpful to understand what mechanisms underlie this capacity in our lives.

This book shares three foundational principles of psychology that will hand you the right eyeglasses. If you already have good eyesight, it will be like receiving a flashlight to find your way in the dark.

I was fortunate to be offered a flashlight, so to speak, when learning these principles in my twenties. My work exposed me to this well-being education that originated in the 1970s when a welder named Sydney Banks had a profound realization. He discovered the principles of psychology that are the focus of our discussion in Chapter 8. Because of the deep nature of this information, this book will introduce the Three Principles gradually, allowing you to wade into the waters of well-being with a more familiar, approachable language. When you become familiar with identifying well-being and how it shows up in your own life, learning about these principles of psychology will give you the foundation for life-changing insights.

This book is intended to bring relief and reassurance with a peaceful and empowered energy (hummingbird energy) to benefit you, your friends, and loved ones, and, ultimately, your wider community. While we face different obstacles and have unique gifts, we all have well-being. This book will help you deepen your awareness of well-being and lead you to trust it as a real, powerful force.

First, I’ll share one person’s story of finding and being her authentic