My Shepherd

By JR Tarin

Gage, in his misery, tries to cope with life and family. Ignoring calls from family and friends and is genuinely concerned about his well-being and emotional state, given the tragedy he's had to endure. His sister-in-law, Jane, becomes a warm, comforting woman who tries to help him through this enormous challenge. Jane, being the identical twin of his former wife, Jaden, takes them on a sinful path to lust, hot sex, and infidelity, all while she claims it is nothing more than comforting a lost soul. That was very convenient for Jane as she'd always had a voracious crush on Gage, seeing through the veil of marriage to her sister and wanting to devour Gage from a long time prior. With his spirituality now in the toilet, Gage sought to remedy his disdain for God and faith and abide by the horrifying nightmare that would prod a poke at him to release himself from this void life and kill himself, for there was nothing more to live for. The thoughts became more frequent and inexorable to the point where he decided to make one last trip to a place where he and Jaden would share their loving moments. A large crag at the top of a mountain, where he would cast himself over to his death. It seemed a viable measure, a prescription that made more sense to him because the pain had become too much for him to endure any longer. But, once at the crag and at the precipice, just before lunging, a man appears from the shadows to halt the process. This man talks to him and guides him from this terrible destiny and convinces Gage to reconsider his plight for the sake of his family: his mother, Charlotte, and dad, Cody, and let's not forget Jane! Let's follow Gage on his journey through Erebus and all the challenges he must overcom

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Mar 4, 2024
• ISBN: 9798350948875

JR Tarin

Jose was born in East Los Angeles at the L.A. County General Hospital. He was raised in the Ramona Gardens projects, where he also worked as a residence cleaner. He is 3rd to the youngest of eight children born to Eva and Robert Tarin. He never graduated high school. He finally received his GED from the L.A. Occupational Center. He is wayward, prancing and frolicking about life with no dimension or prowess—nonetheless, a happy and measurably innocent soul.

Book preview

For my brother

Edward

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, organizations, places, events, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously. Text copyright © 2017 JR TRAIN. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without express written permission of the author. Published by:

TARIN, J.R., My Shepherd. (Hocake). Las Winas Media LTD, Kindle Edition.

ISBN: 979-8-35-094887-5

Table of Contents

I

II

III

IV

V

VI

VII

VIII

IX

X

I

Night terrors emanated from a mortifying dream, sudden and frightful. Short breath pangs and a heartbeat pounded his chest with a resounding clamor that shot to the top of his head—sweating and exhausted from an exasperating tension he’d never experienced. Gage struggled to regain a semblance of reality that seemed distant from where he huddled. Curled and rigid upon his bed, sheets tangled between his legs, and pillows were strewn about. A fight, it seemed, had been levied upon him during the night. He sat up quickly, recalling the place on his bed in his room. Delicately, the morphed escapade diminished from his sub consciousness and brought forth his reality as it seemed. He looked at the corner table and noted the time; it was early morning. He struggled to remember why he had felt so disjointed and frail. Then a memory sudden and painful; as a sharp saber thrashed through his heart and memory. Jaden! His beloved, he recalled, the woman of his dreams and his life and happiness, which were no more. She had been taken only days earlier; suddenly and without warning, he thought. Why? How could this happen? Why did God allow her to perish? An angel of goodness and innocence plucked away for no reason.

Questions without answers are vague and obscure. His world had been torn from the fabric of his very existence like a thief in the darkness, inconspicuous, quiet, distorted, and sinister, leaving only this mockery of a man—a scarecrow, a straw dog left to toil in misery. But that wasn’t all! The devil had reached even further to claw and shred his sanity because Jaden had a living essence within her. Yes, a child, a beautiful baby fetus that was 27 weeks into its life formation.

Madness hovered above like a dark cloud of ash spewing forth into his meager soul. Gage needed to seek some reprieve from his desperation, or he knew there’d be nothing to live for. He’d been contemplating that thought, which was getting worse by the day. Nevertheless, he knew he still had family and friends there for him no matter how far this ache would carry. And his church and all people were here for him in this tragic time. Yet still, there was that burgeoning feeling deep inside his chest that would not relent. He was angry towards his God, who he believed had abandoned him and Jaden. He found praying difficult, which did not sit well with him either because prayer and worship were and had been a part of his life and family since childhood. His anger and frustration grew into a monster that consumed his thoughts. He remained terrified and shallow in the darkness of his mind. What truly is a man without family and God?  Gage also thought of Jaden’s parents and siblings and the pain they must have endured these past few weeks. He wanted to be there for them as well. It wouldn’t be easy, but he knew it was the right thing to do. In his limited kernel at this point, he thought to stand and make his decisions based on his inner being. To call upon his strength as a man from within because, from now on, he would be making his path without the veiled hope and faith he so naively relied upon. This is where he remained: broken, ungodly, and without faith.

The days became a chore instead of the beautiful aspirations and dreams most of us feel. The mild sunshine and subtle breeze on our faces nourish our breath of life. Those dimensions were the essence of the past. He was trying to adhere to anything that would conjure a feeling for that life he’d so embraced not a month before. But remaining in this void contemplation of pain and suffering would do nothing more than discourage his motives for seeking a better place other than this darkness where he’d been suddenly reposed. Regardless, Gage managed to escape the terrors of the night and brought himself to take charge of the many issues that needed his attention. His local print shop, his pride possession since high school, required some focus, knowing his five employees and friends couldn’t continue with an out-of-touch master. Although they all did their part in keeping his place and jobs together, each imparting condolences and empathy for the condition, he remained. But how could anyone pick up and continue with life and all its responsibilities over a tragedy of such proportions?

Jaden’s funeral was a monumental challenge for Gage, emotionally and spiritually. Listening in vain to the sermons preached, becoming more rigid in his disbelief