Revive Your Heart with 52 Prophetic Ethics

By Wassim Habbal

In this book, the author invites us to an exciting journey to explore our inner self and understand our human nature, while offering practical ways to purify it so that we can reach the ultimate state of peace and contentment. To do so, we need a role model to follow, someone who has exemplary traits and virtues, someone who is free of flaws. And who else can it be other than Prophet Muhammad ﷺ.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Sila S.A.L.
• Release date: Feb 24, 2024
• ISBN: 9798215414231

Book preview

Virtue 1

Greeting with Peace

Holy Name: The Peace (As-Salam)

This virtue is derived from Allah’s (subhãnahu wa ta´ãlã) name The Peace.

Being characterized by this virtue involves refraining from harming others with our words or actions and never even bearing any evil in our hearts. Instead, we try to be the cause of people’s happiness and tranquility. Is it that simple? Yes. We can spread joy by keeping our hearts free of envy, grudge, or vanity and by greeting people gracefully, whether we know them or not.

Haven’t we all met, at one time or another, people who looked so pleased to see us that they made us feel we are the dearest to them? No matter how despondent we might be, meeting such a person alleviates our pain in seconds. We can do the same by following Prophet Muhammad’s (salla llãhu alayhi wa sallam) way of greeting people. He was the most distinguished in spreading peace and serenity with his kind greetings, making the young and the old, friends and strangers, men and women feel equally cherished.

Definition

To greet someone with peace means we approach them with a smiling face and address them with kind words that make them feel favored and treasured. The real meaning of greeting with peace is to make people we encounter feel peaceful and safe; to make them be sure we do not cheat them, betray them, or backbite them; and reassure them that we are always ready for reconciliation and harmony. Such a greeting would certainly overcome any tension or ill will.

Allah (subhãnahu wa ta´ãlã) says: ﴾When a (courteous) greeting is offered to you, meet it with a greeting still more courteous, or (at least) of equal courtesy. Allah (subhãnahu wa ta´ãlã) takes careful account of all things.﴿(¹⁹) Prophet Muhammad (salla llãhu alayhi wa sallam) said: ((It is not lawful for a Muslim to desert (stop talking to) his brother beyond three nights, the one turning one way and the other turning to the other way when they meet, the better of the two is the first to greet the other.))(²⁰) Therefore, following the Quran and Sunnah teachings, we should make sure we start greeting others and return any greeting with an even better one. That is how our greeting serves its essential purpose.

Explanation

Greeting with peace is an indirect way of expressing a state of goodwill and harmony between the one who is greeting and the one who is greeting back. Prophet Muhammad (salla llãhu alayhi wa sallam) said: ((You will not enter Heaven until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Shall I tell you something which, if you do, you will love one another? Promote greetings amongst yourselves))(²¹) The Prophet teaches us here one of the essential keys to spreading love among people, which is greeting with peace. This virtue indicates nobility, especially when we enter a decent place and find that we all share a code of respect even if we do not know one another. When someone asked Prophet Muhammad (salla llãhu alayhi wa sallam) Which act in Islam is the best? he replied, ((To feed the poor and greet those whom you know and those whom you do not know))(²²)

This amiable behavior of unconditional greeting is still prevalent in some villages, where passersby get invited over a cup of coffee the moment they greet a group of neighbors. Greeting with peace can indeed be the inception of affection and long-living friendships among humans, and the more we greet with peace, the more benevolence and compassion there will be in the world. Hence, we can learn from Prophet Muhammad (salla llãhu alayhi wa sallam),who was distinguished for his greetings, which brought people closer and closer to him.

We know about Prophet Muhammad (salla llãhu alayhi wa sallam) that he approached others with such a smiling and friendly face that the greeted would feel he was the closest to Prophet Muhammad’s (salla llãhu alayhi wa sallam) heart. Another characteristic of his greeting is that he was the last to pull out his hand from a handshake. We ought to learn from Prophet Muhammad (salla llãhu alayhi wa sallam) the principles of a beautiful, peaceful greeting and learn to start with the greeting rather than wait to test the other person’s intentions. We ought to adopt the habit of welcoming and approaching others with a cheerful spirit, for that is the spirit of a believer in Allah (subhãnahu wa ta´ãlã), the All-Hearing, the All-Seeing of our deeds, big and small.

Greeting with peace is, therefore, the heart of Prophet Muhammad’s (salla llãhu alayhi wa sallam) Hadith: ((Every good deed is charity))(²³). Prophet Muhammad (salla llãhu alayhi wa sallam) also said: ((If two Muslims met and shook hands, the one who is the most cheerful shall be loved (by Allah (subhãnahu wa ta´ãlã)), and one hundred mercy comes between them, ninety for the first to greet and a ten for the other))(²⁴)

Smiling is a kind of non-verbal communication with people, and it is the shortest way to their hearts, for a smile instantly conveys our feelings of warmth and kindness. No wonder then to learn from Abdullah bin al-Harith what he said about Prophet Muhammad (salla llãhu alayhi wa sallam): ((I have not seen anyone more smiling than the Prophet of Allah))(²⁵)

A smile has a marvelous effect on the hearts, which explains Prophet Muhammad’s (salla llãhu alayhi wa sallam) advice to us when he said: ((Do not underestimate any good deed, even meeting your brother with a friendly face))(²⁶). We get rewarded by Allah (subhãnahu wa ta´ãlã) for the amount and quality of our greetings as we learned from Imran bin Husayn’s story. ((A man came to the Prophet (salla llãhu alayhi wa sallam) and said, ‘Peace be upon you!’ He then sat down. The Prophet (salla llãhu alayhi wa sallam) responded to his salutation and said, [He will have] Ten (rewards). Another man came and said, ‘Peace and Allah's mercy be upon you!’ He responded and said, [He will have] Twenty (rewards). A third man came and said, ‘Peace be upon you and the mercy of Allah and His blessings!’ Prophet (salla llãhu alayhi wa sallam) responded to him and said, [He will have] Thirty (rewards) ))(²⁷)

Allah (subhãnahu wa ta´ãlã) teaches us how to train ourselves to show warmth and courtesy to others even if they do not show the same feelings. Allah (subhãnahu wa ta´ãlã) says: ﴾When a (courteous) greeting is offered to you, meet it with a greeting still more courteous, or (at least) of equal courtesy. Allah (subhãnahu wa ta´ãlã) takes careful account of all things﴿(²⁸)

All this tells us that we should train ourselves to show our kindness by approaching others with sincere hearts and words. We should respond to salutations with affability even if we are not approached as gently, keeping in mind, of course, that we do not show excessive feelings when greeting the opposite gender unless we are connected with a legal relationship.

Sometimes we meet people whom we do not like. Yet we need to try hard not to aggravate any hostility with them because our Islamic principles refrain us from abandoning our brothers or neglecting them. Prophet Muhammad (salla llãhu alayhi wa sallam) said it clearly: ((Avoid jealousy between yourselves, do not outbid one another (to raise the price), do not harbor hatred against one another, do not bear enmity against one another...))(²⁹) We can easily put an end to alienation and abandonment with a warm greeting coming from the heart.

The devil, however, whispers to us that keeping this habit of warm salutation could mean that we are not being sincere or that smiling to an enemy is an act of hypocrisy. The truth is that we do not have to become intimate friends with our opponents; we just need to meet them with a genial face. Our teacher, Prophet Muhammad (salla llãhu alayhi wa sallam), used to warmly greet his enemies and haters in the hope of softening their hearts, and so can we.

When Prophet Muhammad (salla llãhu alayhi wa sallam) passed by a group of children, he would greet them, and when he met a group of women, he would greet and advise them. We learned from him that riders greet pedestrians; pedestrians greet those sitting; the bigger group greets the smaller group, and the younger greets the older. We learned from him to greet upon arriving and when leaving a place. When he entered his home, he greeted his family in a voice that could reach the awake but not awaken the asleep. We also learned from the Quran to take permission before entering someone’s home. Allah (subhãnahu wa ta´ãlã) says: ﴾Believers! Do not enter any house other than your own until you have asked for permission and greeted its occupants. This is best for you, so perhaps you will be mindful﴿(³⁰)

Islamic teachings have every single detail of our life managed. For example, we have exact instructions for what to do when we visit someone’s home. We stand aside and not face the door while waiting for permission to enter. Before or even after we enter, we should lower our gaze not to see what the homeowner does not like us to see. We are also guided on how we request permission. After the first knock or ring, we wait for as long as the praying of two Rakaat take. Then, we knock or ring again and wait for the same period. If no one answers after the third time, we should be satisfied and not try again even if we are sure that someone is inside. Allah (subhãnahu wa ta´ãlã) says: ﴾If you find no one at home, do not enter it until you have been given permission. And if you are asked to leave, then leave. That is purer for you. And Allah (subhãnahu wa ta´ãlã) has perfect knowledge of what you do﴿(³¹) If the homeowner asks who is at the door, we should tell our name rather than saying, It is I, which Prophet Muhammad (salla llãhu alayhi wa sallam) disliked, for it does not identify the guest. Jabir (radiya llãhu ´anhu) once told of an incident, ((I came to Prophet Muhammad (salla llãhu alayhi wa sallam) to ask him a question about a debt my father owed. I knocked at the door and he asked. Who is it? Me, I replied. He said, Me? Me? as if he disliked that))(³²)

Taking permission to enter a place applies to the family members living together, too. A man once asked Prophet Muhammad (salla llãhu alayhi wa sallam): ((Messenger of Allah, shall I ask permission of my mother to enter? He said, Yes. The man said, I live with her in the house." Prophet Muhammad (salla llãhu alayhi wa sallam) said, Ask her permission. The man said, I am her servant. Prophet Muhammad (salla llãhu alayhi wa sallam) said, Ask her permission. Do you want to see her naked? The man said, No. He said, "Then ask her permission)) (³³) .

This explains why we should teach children to request permission before entering any room so that they know they should respect others’ privacy.

Sometimes when we ask strangers for directions or for other kinds of help, we tend to forget to greet them first. Prophet Muhammad (salla llãhu alayhi wa sallam) warned us against this behavior when he said: ((If someone starts talking before greeting you, do not reply))(³⁴).

Whether we hear of them or not, many people feel they are invisible or that nobody cares for them. Some of these people might even get into a state of acute depression or commit suicide due to their dark thoughts about being neglected. If we greet with peace people who are suffering from such a state, imagine the change we could make in their circumstances. This noble yet straightforward act of approaching them with a sincere heart and an amiable smile could save their lives because we would give meaning to their existence. We would make them feel appreciated and loved. About this, Prophet Muhammad (salla llãhu alayhi wa sallam) said: ((The most beloved people to Allah are those who are most beneficial to people. The most beloved deed to Allah is to make a Muslim happy, or to remove one of his troubles, or to forgive his debt, or to feed his hunger))(³⁵).

We learned from Quran that we should respond to greetings with even better greetings, and we learned from Prophet Muhammad (salla llãhu alayhi wa sallam) invaluable details about how and when to greet others. In short, we learned that greeting with peace is the fastest road to people’s hearts and the great beginnings of successful relationships. This virtue is undoubtedly rewarded in our first life and the hereafter. Prophet Muhammad (salla llãhu alayhi wa sallam) declared this fact when he said: ((Whoever meets with his Muslim brother in a way that pleases him, Allah will please him on the Day of Judgment))(³⁶).

It would be beautiful to teach our children how to drop every activity they are doing and rush to their parents to greet them with peace when they come back home from a trip or work. It would be equally wonderful to teach our children to show the same warmth to their grandparents and relatives. Growing up with this virtue will make them such distinguished adults in their future, whether in their families or in their society.

If we get used, since a young age, to greeting with peace according to the teachings of Prophet Muhammad (salla llãhu alayhi wa sallam), we will gain the blessing of Allah (subhãnahu wa ta´ãlã) and Prophet Muhammad (salla llãhu alayhi wa sallam), as well as the love of the people around us. In addition, we will retain pure hearts and souls that lead to a balanced and joyous world.

A Story from the Life of Prophet Muhammad (salla llãhu alayhi wa sallam)

Amr bin Alaas talks about the affection and hospitality that he feels whenever he met Prophet Muhammad (salla llãhu alayhi wa sallam), who calls Amr with his most favored name. Amr tells how Prophet Muhammad (salla llãhu alayhi wa sallam) approached him so attentively and affably that Amr felt he was the best of his people, so he asked him once: ((Which people do you love most? He replied, Aisha. I said, From amongst the men? He replied, Her father (Abu Bakr). I said, Whom (do you love) next? He replied, Omar. Then he counted the names of many men, and I became silent for fear that he might regard me as the last of them)) (³⁷) That is how Prophet Muhammad (salla llãhu alayhi wa sallam) made all his friends feel they are the most distinguished and the dearest to him.

A Story from Modern Life

A man once told his story about a boy whom he met in the mosque. After the man finished praying, the boy nicely addressed him and said, I made duaa for you while praying. Of course, the man was surprised with the lad’s maturity and unusual internal and external serenity, so the man asked where the boy learned such an honorable behavior. It was his mother who taught him this deed of Prophet Muhammad’s (salla llãhu alayhi wa sallam), the boy replied. Immediately, the man hugged the boy and started weeping, for he was so impressed with the boy’s behavior and commitment to his mother’s teaching. The incident so touched him that he decided to follow the boy’s example and began the habit of greeting the strangers he meets in the mosque instead of directly leaving the place after prayer. He even kept a journal on which he documented instances of people’s reactions when they knew the man had made duaa for them in his prayer.

But among all of the instances he kept in his journal, one of them stood out, which is when he met a worshipper from Ghana, who said he was praying in that neighborhood’s mosque for the first time. When this stranger knew about the man’s duaa for him, he started weeping and told the man of how miserable and lonely he had been because he had missed his country and family so bitterly, and now this man made him feel welcome and loved.

Subhan Allah (subhãnahu wa ta´ãlã), He is Al-Wadud, the Affectionate. He is capable of uniting people’s hearts with one word only. He can mend a broken heart with a smile. He can grant enormous rewards for the simplest of deeds.

It is remarkable how one mother’s teaching could create this vast effect on society. She achieved this by encouraging her son to follow the path of Prophet Muhammad (salla llãhu alayhi wa sallam) ,which is the most beautiful way to revive hearts and nourish souls that are aspiring for goodness. Prophet Muhammad (salla llãhu alayhi wa sallam) once said: (( (All of you) worship Ar-Rahman, feed others, spread the (greeting of) Salam, then you will enter Heaven in security.)) (³⁸)

Virtue 2

Veiling Others’ Flaws

Holy Name: The Concealer of Sins (As-Sitteer)

This virtue is derived from Allah’s (subhãnahu wa ta´ãlã) name The Concealer of Sins.

Being characterized by this virtue involves concealing others’ sins and not exposing them to anyone. It requires staying focused on fixing our faults instead. A wise man once said, If people ever admire you, it is thanks to Allah’s (subhãnahu wa ta´ãlã) beautiful concealing of your sins.

It is not easy to refrain from criticizing other’s flaws and from judging people unless we train ourselves to manage our eyes, our hearts, and our tongues, and that requires continuous training and self-monitoring.

First and foremost, we need to deal with our faults instead of highlighting other people’s mistakes, for all humans have flaws. Instead of being scornful to people’s vices, we should advise and guide them in secret. That is how Prophet Muhammad (salla llãhu alayhi wa sallam) reached hearts with his gracefulness, both in speech and in behavior. He never hurt anyone’s feelings or criticized any specific person openly, but he used the most merciful and gentle guidance strategies in reforming people’s conduct. If he ever criticized a behavior openly, he generalized the guidance, so he would say something like, Why do some people do this and that? without naming anyone in particular.

Definition

Criticizing or denouncing others means finding faults in them, while thinking of oneself as better than others. Prophet Muhammad (salla llãhu alayhi wa sallam) taught us to refrain from looking at others’ flaws and avoid watching their conduct or expecting their slips. We should not criticize people’s looks or hurt them with our comments. Instead, we have to focus on our behavior and purify our hearts because whatever virtue we have is a gift from Allah (subhãnahu wa ta´ãlã). Knowledge, education, grace, and charm are all examples of Allah’s givings, which we take no credit for. Prophet Muhammad (salla llãhu alayhi wa sallam) said: ((A Muslim is a brother to (another) Muslim, he neither oppresses him nor does he hand him over to one who does him wrong. If anyone fulfills his brother’s needs, Allah (subhãnahu wa ta´ãlã) will fulfill his need; if anyone relieves a Muslim of his troubles, Allah (subhãnahu wa ta´ãlã) will relieve his troubles on the Day of Judgment; and if whoever covers up [the sins of] a Muslim, Allah will cover him up (his sins) on the Day of Judgment))(³⁹)

Explanation

We are all full of flaws, so why do we not get busy improving ourselves instead of searching for others’ faults and criticizing them? Unfortunately, judging and ridiculing others have become so widespread that we are now in desperate need of the virtue of concealing people’s faults. Thankfully, Allah (subhãnahu wa ta´ãlã) beautifully rewards this virtue. When we veil others’ flaws, Allah veils ours— both in this world and the hereafter—because the reward is of the same kind as our actions. Prophet Muhammad (salla llãhu alayhi wa sallam) said: ((Whoever covers the fault of a Muslim, Allah will cover his fault on the Day of Judgement.))(⁴⁰) When we veil others, we do that by controlling both our tongues and our hearts, so we should neither talk about people’s flaws in public, especially on social media, nor mock their mistakes. Instead, we should advise them in secret if we can. Prophet Muhammad (salla llãhu alayhi wa sallam) said: ((The faith of a worshipper is not upright until his heart is upright, and his heart is not upright until his tongue is upright.))(⁴¹)

One of the most significant signs of faith is saying kind words. Prophet Muhammad (salla llãhu alayhi wa sallam) said: ((He who believes in Allah and the Last Day must speak good or remain silent.))(⁴²) Everything that we utter will, on the Day of Judgement, witness for us (for saying kind words) or against us (for saying bad words). However, it is not easy to be watchful for every word we say, so we need to train ourselves to say nothing but good words at all times. It will then become a habit to refrain from observing people. This helps us do what Allah (subhãnahu wa ta´ãlã) loves us to do, so we stop judging people even if this judging is only in our hearts. It will also help us to get ourselves busy because busy people do not have time to scrutinize others’ things or actions. Busy people are rather focused, working on improving their character or their life. They are occupied, trying to fix their faults instead of hunting others’ slips.

Prophet Muhammad (salla llãhu alayhi wa sallam) warned us of the consequences of judging and criticizing others. We learned from him that, sooner or later, Allah makes us commit the same mistake that we condemn in others. Prophet Muhammad (salla llãhu alayhi wa sallam) said: ((Whoever shames his brother for a sin will commit this (same) sin before he dies.))(⁴³) He also warned us, ((Do not express pleasure at the misfortune of a (Muslim) brother, for Allah may show mercy upon him (by relieving him of this misfortune) and afflict you with it.))(⁴⁴) In the same context, Imam Hasan al-Basri (radiya llãhu ´anhu) said, I found some people who seemed to have no flaws, but when they pointed out other people’s flaws, their own flaws were exposed; I also found people who had flaws, but they concealed other people’s faults, so their faults were forgotten.(⁴⁵)

It is a curious thing how we take pride in blessings that are given to us by Allah, and it is similarly interesting how these blessings make us feel superior to others. On the contrary, we should constantly remember to attribute our blessings and virtues to their source, Allah. In other words, we need to keep in mind that the only reason we did not commit a particular sin is due to Allah’s mercy. Therefore, we need to repeatedly thank Him and say, Thanks to Allah, who kept that sin away from me and Thanks to Allah, who has saved me from this calamity and favored me among many others of His creatures. At the same time, let us find excuses for others when they make mistakes. By doing this, we acquire the virtue of concealing others’ flaws and we learn to lay aside the I as in I am better, I am more knowledgeable, or I would never do what he did.

The best way to get rid of condemning others is to start the habit of helping them by giving them advice or guiding them. We can use the gift given to us by Allah (subhãnahu wa ta´ãlã) to help others with it, and we complement each other so that each one of us teaches someone to become a better version of himself. The result will be a healthy society, where the rich aid the poor, the educated teach the ignorant, and the skillful mentor the deprived. It would be such a prosperous society if people helped others improve in all life matters instead of condemning them. Guiding others to the proper practice instead of criticizing them results in a win-win situation. Allah (subhãnahu wa ta´ãlã) says: ﴾Allah does not change the condition of a people until they change what is within themselves.﴿ (⁴⁶)

Our best bet is to raise our children so that they become active citizens in society by being aware of their own mistakes and trying to develop themselves on the one hand and by helping others become better citizens on the other hand. Moreover, since modeling is the best way to teach children something, we should set good examples by acknowledging the merits of others rather than their demerits. That would be a significant step to help stop major social phenomena such as bullying, for example.

The devil sometimes whispers the lie of we are not backbiting others; we are only telling a fact about them. That is, of course, a way to give ourselves an excuse to continue condemning people and judging them. The truth is that we cannot allow ourselves to talk behind other people’s backs just because we are listing facts. We should not even think about people’s flaws because it is not our concern to do so. Hence, we are responsible only for what we do, and we must stop thinking about what other people do or think. Allah (subhãnahu wa ta´ãlã) says: ﴾O you who have believed, no people shall mock [other] people, for they may be better than them. Nor shall any women mock [other] women, for they may be better than them. Nor shall you insult one another, nor call each other by offensive nicknames. How miserable is the one who becomes [named] sinful after being faithful, and those who do not repent have wronged themselves.﴿(⁴⁷)

Unfortunately, the circulation of certain jokes that make fun of other people has become not only accepted by our societies, but was also made wildly popular by social media. The devil beautifies this sin by whispering to us that it is only for entertainment. However, it is not a kind of entertainment to neglect people’s feelings and humiliate them, and the best remedy to this vice is to train ourselves to say only positive things about others.

When we know that our words dictate our destiny in this world and the hereafter, perhaps we become more careful when we open our mouths. Every act of worship and obedience that we do remains in our name unless we harm others. The last part of Prophet Muhammad’s (salla llãhu alayhi wa sallam) Hadith affirms this fact. He said to Muadh (radiya llãhu ´anhu): ((The head of the matter is Islam, its pillar is the prayer, and its peak is jihad. Then he (salla llãhu alayhi wa sallam) said, Shall I not tell you of the foundation of all of that?" Muadh (radiya llãhu ´anhu) said, Yes, O Messenger of Allah. So he took hold of his tongue and said, Restrain this. Muadh (radiya llãhu ´anhu) said, O Prophet of Allah, will we be taken to account for what we say with it? He (salla llãhu alayhi wa sallam) said, May your mother be bereaved of you, O Muadh! Is there anything that throws people into the Hellfire upon their faces except the harvests of their tongues?))(⁴⁸) Therefore, the main reason behind people’s going to hell is their tongues. This is a warning that no matter how much we pray and fast or give to charity, all our good deeds will be transferred to people we backbite. On Day of Judgement, they will be gathered and surprised by the number of good deeds written in their names. The reason will be that all the times we backbite people, they take away from our good deeds. We lose; they win. If they take all our good deeds and we still owe them, we start adding to our balance from their bad deeds. It is as fair as this. After knowing this simple equation, who would want to condemn others or judge them?

Prophet Muhammad (salla llãhu alayhi wa sallam) explains to us the gravity of this vice. He said: ((Do you know who is the bankrupt? They said, The bankrupt among us is one who has neither money with him nor any property. He said, The real bankrupt of my Ummah would be he who would come on the Day of Judgment with prayer, fast, and charity, but he will find himself bankrupt on that day as he will have exhausted the good deeds because he reviled others, slandered others, unlawfully devoured the wealth of others, shed the blood of others and beat others; so his good deeds would be credited to the account of those who suffered at his hand. If his good deeds fall short to clear the account, their sins would be entered in his account and he would be thrown in the Hell.))(⁴⁹)

Prophet Muhammad (salla llãhu alayhi wa sallam) said: ((The Muslim is the brother to the Muslim; he does not cheat him, lie to him, nor deceive him. It is forbidden for a Muslim to violate another Muslim’s honor, wealth, and blood. Piety is here [in the heart]. It is evil for a man to belittle his Muslim brother.))(⁵⁰)

Our best practice would be to watch our hearts and tongues and train ourselves to avoid scorning or disdaining others even in our gazes, which could be louder than the spoken words. We should also beware of being slaves to fashion and consumerism, for the best attire is that of satisfaction and gratitude.

A Story from the Life of Prophet Muhammad (salla llãhu alayhi wa sallam)

It was known that when Prophet Muhammad (salla llãhu alayhi wa sallam) disliked a meal, he never criticized it. He would just not eat it. His unique gracefulness was exhibited even in expressing his taste in food. Abu Huraira said: ((Prophet Muhammad (salla llãhu alayhi wa sallam) never criticized food which was served to him; if he liked it, he ate from it, and if he didn’t like it, he simply left it.))(⁵¹)

Al-Hassan and Al-Hussain followed this virtue as they learned it from Prophet Muhammad (salla llãhu alayhi wa sallam) . They were aged six and seven when they once saw an older man performing his ablutions, and they noticed he was missing parts of the process. Instead of criticizing him, the two boys created a story of their being competing about whose ablution was better, so each performed it perfectly well and asked him to choose who did it better. The old man told them, You taught me how to do the ablution correctly. This story teaches us again that we could improve people’s behavior in our society without having to scorn or condemn anyone.

A Story from Modern Life

A dentist was sitting among people who were discussing the virtues of stopping backbiting. He learned from them the harmful effects upon peoples’ hearts when they criticize others, and he felt deep remorse. He whispered to his friend shyly, As a dentist, whenever I have a new patient coming for treatment, I purposefully find fault with his previous dentist’s work, believing that I have won a new patient. The patient thinks that I am better and that my work is superior to that of the other dentist, but now I repent in front of Allah (subhãnahu wa ta´ãlã) and promise to avoid pointing out others’ misgivings, mentioning their mistakes, or even thinking about them. Also, I shall never attribute success to myself. I shall be grateful to Allah (subhãnahu wa ta´ãlã) alone for all the grace that He gives me.

Since that day, the dentist stopped criticizing others’ work. Now, whenever he sees a mistake made by another dentist, he thanks Allah (subhãnahu wa ta´ãlã), saying, Praise be to Allah, who saved me from this flaw and asks Allah (subhãnahu wa ta´ãlã) to keep improving his heart and his tongue by withholding criticism. His focus is now only on perfecting his own work, and if he sees any mistake, he fixes it without making any negative comments.

Let us say these duaas every time we notice a flaw in others. Thanks to Allah, who kept that sin away from me and Thanks to Allah, who has saved me from this calamity and favored me among many others of His creatures.

Virtue 3

Being Content

Holy Names: The Sustainer (Ar-Razzaq); The Lord (Ar-Rabb); The Wise (Al-Hakeem)

This virtue is derived from Allah’s (subhãnahu wa ta´ãlã) names The Sustainer, The Lord, and The Wise.

Being characterized by the name of The Sustainer means believing that only Allah (subhãnahu wa ta´ãlã) divides subsistence among His creatures in exactly how it should be. He is The Lord who grants His creatures just what they need and deprives them of what harms them, for only He, The Wise, knows the precise kind and amount of livelihood we need to have.

Our desire to own things can sometimes be the source of our misery when we are not satisfied with what we have. We keep having dark thoughts about being deprived of what other people have, which causes unnecessary distress. Our feelings are the result of our thoughts, which are, in turn, the result of what we see. It all starts with us gazing at things we should not see. If we know that, we could save our hearts a lot of pain.

Definition

Allah (subhãnahu wa ta´ãlã) says: ﴾And do not allow your eyes to long for the pleasures that We have given certain kinds of people to enjoy, for it is just the flower of the worldly life that We may test them with. But what your Lord has provided for you is better and more everlasting.﴿(⁵²)

Allah (subhãnahu wa ta´ãlã) has ordered us to avert our gaze from other people’s possessions and to be gratified instead with what Allah (subhãnahu wa ta´ãlã) has given us, for He bestows upon us what benefits us in this life and the hereafter. Comparing our possessions with other people will only harm us, so we should believe that what is good for us might not be suitable for others, and what is good for others might not be suitable for us.

Explanation

We sometimes unwisely wonder why we do not have what other people have of titles, possessions, education, or money. We might think that we would be happier if we have the beauty, the spouse, the home of that person or another. The truth is that although we wish to have for what we think can make us happier when, in fact, we do have what should make us grateful. Allah (subhãnahu wa ta´ãlã) The Wise has allocated His subsistence exactly where it should be, and objecting to His choice can only result in our despair. Therefore, the remedy for our disturbing thoughts of being deprived or underprivileged lies in the great Ayah from the Quran, which is comprehensive of the problem and solution of envying others. He says: ﴾And do not look, with longing eyes, to the enjoyment that We have given certain kinds of people, for it is just the flower of the worldly life to test them with it, but what your Lord has provided for you is according to your essential needs, better and more everlasting.﴿(⁵³)

By ordering us not to look, Allah (subhãnahu wa ta´ãlã) wants us to refrain from looking with our eyes and with our hearts at the possessions of others. In this sense, looking at others can make us compare our situations with others’ and think that we have less than what we deserve. This often happens on social media nowadays, where people celebrate their belongings and moments, which paves the way for others to envy them.

The part of the Ayah ﴾to the enjoyment that We have given certain kinds of people﴿indicates the blessings that Allah (subhãnahu wa ta´ãlã) has given other people. He is The Wise, and only He knows how much suits each of us, so it is not for us to decide what kind and number of blessings people deserve to have. The Quran specifically tells of ﴾...kinds of people...﴿, so people are originally meant to be born differently, and we should not desire to be born tall or short, male or female, European or non-European. One of the blessings of our difference is that we complement one another, for each of us has a role in life. If we are satisfied with Allah’s (subhãnahu wa ta´ãlã) decisions for us, we become happy indeed.

The significance of the flower in ﴾...the flower of the worldly life...﴿ is that flowers have a short life, just like people’s blessings in the first life, beautiful but temporary.

These blessings are not but tests, and the beautiful flower is meant ﴾…to test them with it…﴿

We either pass the test by appreciating what we have and believing that Allah (subhãnahu wa ta´ãlã) is The Sustainer or fail the test by attributing our successes and belongings to our skills or work. We either pass the test by using Allah’s (subhãnahu wa ta´ãlã) blessings in good deeds or fail the test by abusing these gifts in forbidden manners; what we do with what we have dictates whether or not we pass the test.

The Quran is Allah’s (subhãnahu wa ta´ãlã) speech to us, and in this Ayah, He guides us to reflect on Him as the Sustainer and us as His helpless worshippers. In this contemplation, we can reach complete satisfaction with our lives because we are ignorant of what truly is beneficial to us and what is not. That trip our friends took, but we did not, could have been harmful to us, and that child we did not have could have been the cause of our misery. We are humans, and we can never tell what exactly is suitable for us. The devil might whisper to us that we deserve more properties, more happiness, so we get resentful and disappointed with our lives while, instead, we should believe that what He has given us is truly the best for us. Therefore, next time we get dismal thoughts about that trip our friends took and we did not, it is better to think again. It is better to trust the choices of Allah (subhãnahu wa ta´ãlã).

We might look at other people’s possessions and dream of having them, but we do not know that the warmth of our family might disappear in the bigger house or that the love of a content husband might fade with the new profitable job.

If people embrace this belief of being satisfied with what they have rather than envy others for their possessions or happiness, no man would have to look at any woman except his wife, and no woman would look at any man but her husband. Each married person would start appreciating their spouse and solving their problems as a family rather than looking for happiness outside their homes.

The virtue of being content can solve many other issues in our lives. When we stop focusing on the merits of other countries, other jobs, other homes, we will be able to improve our countries, jobs, and homes. The more we appreciate what we have, the less our hearts desire what belongs to others. Allah (subhãnahu wa ta´ãlã) says: ﴾And do not desire what Allah has favored some of you over others, men will get what they have earned, and women will get what they have earned….﴿(⁵⁴) We all have blessings, but we all need things, so we should ask Allah (subhãnahu wa ta´ãlã). He is The Sustainer, so He can give us more than what we can imagine; He is The Wise, so He knows just what is good for us to have. He tells us, ﴾…Rather, ask Allah for His bounty. Indeed, Allah has knowledge of all things﴿(⁵⁵) Therefore, we do all that we can do to reach our dreams, get that job, pass that test, and collect that amount, but we surrender to Allah’s (subhãnahu wa ta´ãlã) will and wisdom in the result, for He knows best.

Being content is a virtue that can also help us find good husbands and wives for ourselves. Still, instead of asking Allah (subhãnahu wa ta´ãlã) for specific qualities in looks, social class, or professions, we should simply ask Him for good husbands or wives, and He chooses what good is truly good for us. O Allah, look after all my matters on my behalf, make all the choices for me, and arrange everything in my life for me, for I am not capable of doing so by myself. This duaa is comprehensive of all that we need to ask. It shows our submission to Allah’s (subhãnahu wa ta´ãlã) will and our complete gratification, so He satisfies us even more and more.

If we have to look at other people, we should look at those who are less fortunate in worldly blessings than we are. We learned this virtue from Abu Dharr Al-Ghifari, who once sat down talking to people and said: ((My friend Prophet Muhammad (salla llãhu alayhi wa sallam) advised me to do seven things: He asked me to love the poor and to get closer to them. He asked me to look to those who are inferior and not to those who are superior. He asked me never to ask anyone for anything (i.e., to abstain from begging). He asked me to be kind to my relatives. He asked me to say the truth, no matter how sour it may be. He asked me never to be afraid of a critic’s censure. And he asked me to frequently say, ‘There is no power nor might except Allah’s.’))(⁵⁶)

Prophet Muhammad’s (salla llãhu alayhi wa sallam) advice constitutes a recipe for happiness. By asking us not to look at those who are above us in rank or position, he helps us stay focused on our blessings and stay gratified. At the same time, we learn to strive to progress and improve ourselves in both worldly and heavenly matters rather than