Grumpy and the Incurables

By DHK

Old, grumpy, and cynical, this man in his 70s complains about being riddled with incurable diseases which he describes using a lot of profanity, but in such a way that you can’t help yourself but laugh and feel sorry for him at the same time. He could be your Dad, your Grandad or perhaps you some day and this touches something in the reader.
He claims he is trying to reach out to fellow sufferers of the many diseases but he openly admits that this is only because he wants them to buy his book. He promises that if you buy his book he won’t waste his profits on any good causes other than giving himself one final celebration or blow out as he says.
He thinks he is a Senior Citizen Influencer and he shamelessly pokes fun at everyone on the planet whom he describes as little hamsters so busy running around in the wheel chasing a lost cause, until they can’t.
He is also disparaging about ‘do gooders’ and those who would try to save the planet, but there is a hint of ‘tongue in cheek’ in all he says, or is there?
Between the lines there is a serious side where he describes the suffering and indignities brought about by many of the conditions that he and millions of others endure. This book is not to everyone’s taste but everyone should read it.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Austin Macauley Publishers
• Release date: Mar 1, 2024
• ISBN: 9781035836703

DHK

DHK lives in Waterford, Ireland. Having a background in civil engineering, he spent over 45 years in the construction industry, progressing from site engineer to project director of large industrial projects such as Cement Manufacturing Plants and Large Gas Fired Power Plants. He spent half of his working life in the Far East, based in Borneo, Kuala Lumpur and Singapore. He is a keen golfer, but he is quick to point out that it does not make him a good golfer. He enjoys writing as a hobby but never before sought publication of his work.

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About the Author

DHK lives in Waterford, Ireland. Having a background in civil engineering, he spent over 45 years in the construction industry, progressing from site engineer to project director of large industrial projects such as Cement Manufacturing Plants and Large Gas Fired Power Plants.

He spent half of his working life in the Far East, based in Borneo, Kuala Lumpur and Singapore.

He is a keen golfer, but he is quick to point out that it does not make him a good golfer. He enjoys writing as a hobby but never before sought publication of his work.

Dedication

To my family

Copyright Information ©

DHK 2024

The right of DHK to be identified as author of this work has been asserted by the author in accordance with sections 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publishers.

Any person who commits any unauthorised act in relation to this publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages.

All of the events in this memoir are true to the best of author’s memory. The views expressed in this memoir are solely those of the author.

A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library.

ISBN 9781035836697 (Paperback)

ISBN 9781035836703 (ePub e-book)

www.austinmacauley.com

First Published 2024

Austin Macauley Publishers Ltd®

1 Canada Square

Canary Wharf

London

E14 5AA

Meet Grumpy

It’s the 18th of March 2023; a wet Saturday at the end of a wet week, within a very wet month. This is not a diary, it’s not a weather report, it’s not even a commentary on the shit weather, it’s just somewhere for me to start and wet weather makes me fucking grumpy.

I am over seventy years of age; I think it’s fair to say that over the years I’ve become a bit of a grump and a cynic.

I’m Irish and proud of it but I have spent most of my life living outside Ireland in the UK and the Far East. I’ve encountered all sorts of people, all nationalities and cultures and creeds and at base level, they are all the same.

I’ve been watching people on social media, on Instagram and reality TV shows and they are proper clowns that should come with a health warning but they make money from being so annoying, so naturally enough I thought to myself that surely there’s a niche in the market for someone like me.

I’ve spent my life chasing around, trying to achieve something only to find there is no something, there is just a fucking end and it’s hard to reach it with dignity.

I’ve always had fairly radical views; I swam against the current a bit and back in the day, I was considered an awkward sod but now that’s morphed into a grumpy old man.

I can swear a little, it’s a means of colouring my otherwise limited vocabulary, and it also fits my image of the grumpy old bastard I’ve become.

This is not a social-media type story where I tell you what I had for breakfast and other uninteresting shit that everyone seems to find interesting. What the fuck is the matter with all of you?

I’m writing this book as therapy; I can tell my computer all my problems, I can vent all my frustrations and if I do it right, I can sell this book and have one big blow out.

This book is about my misfortune of having been cursed with multiple incurable diseases and I want to rant. What’s the fucking point of being called Grumpy if I’m not grumpy?

The truth is no one really gives a fuck; they don’t want anyone complaining; who wants to hear all that? But some people have found a way of complaining and getting paid for it so I’m giving that a go.

I’m one of these people that doesn’t give a toss about other people’s problems; I can listen, I can feign sympathy, but in truth I only care about my own problems. There’s a name for that, I know, but I’m not a narcissist.

I’m not conceited either though I have every reason to be.

Those of you who do care, who actually care about others, I would suggest this book is not for you, there is no way you will identify with me so put it down now.

Don’t waste your time reading this book, go and do some good deed somewhere instead. There must be a cause somewhere just waiting for a good Samaritan like you.

Go save the planet that you’re never going to be around to see whether it was saved or not. It won’t matter a fuck to you, you’ll be dead, but go save it anyway.

I sometimes wonder if people really understand being dead. You’ll be gone; you’ll be no more; you won’t know what the fuck is going on in the world. DEAD.

Just a thought for all those planet savers, would you agree that there’s a lot of misery, pain, suffering in the world?

Modern-day slavery, people trafficking, child abuse, political abuse, racial abuse, poverty, diseases, natural disasters and TV shows like Loose Women.

So why the fuck do you want to save it and perpetuate this abuse, which hasn’t changed throughout history? In fact, it’s gotten worse, they never had to endure Loose Women in the Dark Ages.

So do us all a favour and let it fucking go. In the scheme of things, it matters not one iota, maybe, just maybe, life will all adapt to the new atmosphere and come back better, stronger, more resilient.

In the new order, the Snowflakes won’t be keeping everyone so PC and WOKE. The fucking losers won’t be able to turn being useless into a virtue.

Imagine a new world populated with people who survived the changes because they were the fittest in the herd and not fucking Snowflakes.

These new people would be the offspring of today’s anti-wind turbines and green energy brigade, I can see them all rolling around laughing at the ancient people in their EVs.

I can hear you say, I wouldn’t want to live in such a world! Hello! You’ll be fucking dead;