Jesus Shrank My Dating Pool: Holding Out for a Godly Man When It Feels Like You've Missed the Boat

By Marie-Eve Dawood and Victorya Michaels Rogers

Has Your Love for Jesus Sunk Your Love Life?

You hear it over and over: There are plenty of fish in the sea. But as a believer who seeks a relationship with a sold-out follower of Jesus, you find yourself fishing in a very small pond-a fishbowl, even. You put on a brave face, but with each passing year, the doubt only intensifies: Will y

• Language: English
• Publisher: Author Academy Elite
• Release date: Jan 20, 2024
• ISBN: 9798885832151

Marie-Eve Dawood

Marie-Eve Dawood is an author who helps single Christian ladies get real about their struggles, find community, and connect with God so they can move forward with hope.

Book preview

Praise for

Jesus Shrank My Dating Pool

In the research I did for my own book on prolonged singleness, I found that many books on the topic dismissed how difficult singleness can be. Marie-Eve does a wonderful job of offering compassion to those in this situation and making them feel seen and heard. The insights she brings on this topic will be life-giving for the many readers that struggle with loneliness. I will recommend this book to any person experiencing both the heartache and the beauty of singleness.

—Kate Hurley Krause

Author of Getting Naked Later: Making

Sense of the Unexpected Single Life

When it seems everyone around you is getting engaged or married, having kids, and looking so happy, and you’re still waiting to meet the right person, you may feel like giving up. This book will give you hope! A must-read for Christian women who are struggling in their singleness, it will help you grow in your relationship with God and trust in him even when you can’t see the rainbow at the end of the road.

—Carlee B.

Age 29, Columbus, Ohio

Marie-Eve manages to pinpoint all the feelings, thought processes, and hurts of the single Christian woman, which so many people fail to do simply because they’ve never been there. I resonated with every single chapter, laughing, crying, or nodding emphatically throughout the entire book. I can’t wait to read it again. By the time I’m through, most of it will be highlighted, underlined, and marked with multiple asterisks. I already know of others who would be encouraged by it.

—Heather C.

Age 45, Windsor, Ontario

I’ve always been a bit repulsed by what most Christians have to say about marriage, so the fact that I enjoyed this book says a lot. Marie-Eve isn’t afraid to delve into the realities of single life in the church, sharing godly truths and practical advice without sounding trite. Not only will this book make you laugh out loud, it’ll introduce you to your soul sister and leave you with a hopeful message.

—Shannon G.

Age 39, Fort Worth, Texas

Jesus Shrank My Dating Pool

Holding Out for a Godly Man When It Feels Like You’ve Missed the Boat

Marie-Eve Dawood

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Jesus Shrank My Dating Pool

© 2024 by Marie-Eve Dawood

All rights reserved.

Published by Author Academy Elite

PO Box 43, Powell, OH 43065

www.AuthorAcademyElite.com

All rights reserved. This book contains material protected under international and federal copyright laws and treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without express written permission from the author.

Library of Congress Control Number: 2023908680

ISBN: 979-8-88583-213-7 (paperback)

ISBN: 979-8-88583-215-1 (ebook)

Available in paperback and ebook

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com The NIV and New International Version are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™

Scripture quotations marked (AMPC) are taken from the Amplified® Bible, Copyright © 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. lockman.org

Scripture quotations marked (TLB) are taken from The Living Bible copyright © 1971. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked MSG are taken from THE MESSAGE, copyright © 1993, 2002, 2018 by Eugene H. Peterson. Used by permission of NavPress, represented by Tyndale House Publishers. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright ©1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked VOICE are taken from The Voice™. Copyright © 2012 by Ecclesia Bible Society. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

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Some names and identifying details have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals.

To all the Jesus-loving fishers of men

who’ve waited a lifetime for their fish

Contents

Foreword

Preface

Acknowledgments

Part I

Ride the Waves: Acknowledging Your Pain

1. My Boo, My Buick, and My Bungalow

Coming to Terms with Your Grief

2. The Last Jesus Freak on Earth

Owning the Pain of Being Different

3. Like There’s No Tomorrow

Being Transparent with God

Part II

Spot the Buoys: Gathering Your Crew

4. Water Wings

Making Friends with Yourself

5. Velveeta Cheese versus H2O

Accepting Help from Others

6. Robot Voice

Putting Your Heart in God’s Hands

Part III

Fight the Current: Standing Your Ground

7. Selective Amnesia

Remembering Who You Are

8. Green Veggies

Walking Your Own Path

9. The Little Neon Man

Falling in Love with the Game Changer

Part IV

Steer the Ship: Charting Your Course

10. Wild Child

Keeping Your Inner Child in Check

11. Out of Gas

Maintaining Your Sanity Along the Way

12. IKEA SchmIKEA

Inching Forward When You Can’t See What’s Ahead

Part V

Set the Anchor: Trusting Your Maker

13. A Fistful of Pebbles

Giving God the Little You Have

14. The Underwear Department

Clinging to God When Things Go Wrong

15. It’s Nothing

Taking Comfort in God’s Presence

Epilogue

Afterword

About the Author

Endnotes

Foreword

I was ready for marriage at age five. Decades passed without a husband! I could fill hundreds of pages recounting my journey to find my soul mate, but I’ve already written two books on the topic. What I will say here is that when my husband finally appeared—in my thirties, ladies—my man was absolutely worth every tear I ever shed over another! God was always there for me, even when I didn’t feel him or see him in the midst of my heartbreaking search for love. And I believe he placed specific people and books in my path to bolster me during those years of singlehood.

That is what this book is for you, dear reader—strategic hope and reassurance!

It is God’s gift to you as you await your own forever love—a timely reminder that he loves you, sees you, and cares about the details of your life. He knows your dreams and heartaches, and he has a great future for you.

Upon my first reading, I was immediately engrossed in Marie-Eve’s story (including, among other things, the ill-timed comments of her well-meaning friends). I love the raw honesty with which she describes her times of disappointment, disillusionment, and discontent along the way. I, too, lived her pain, experiencing every bit as much frustration and agony on the journey to finding my husband.

Here’s a little secret: We can love God, yet still be confused as to why our prayers aren’t being answered when we feel we are doing everything right. And we can tell him that too—God is big enough to handle all of our most honest emotions.

This is precisely where Jesus Shrank My Dating Pool begins. Its opening chapters compel us to acknowledge our pain—God already knows it all, so why hide it? Next, the book highlights the importance of seeking out the support we need to ride out the storm. Knowing it is tempting to give up and make our own rules when we face the heartache of seemingly unanswered prayer, Marie-Eve then encourages us to stand our ground and remember who we are. The fourth section shows us how to move forward with our dream even when we don’t know the future. Finally, we learn to courageously trust God no matter what comes our way.

Jesus Shrank My Dating Pool is part memoir, part guidebook, all encouragement! I am so excited for you to embark on this reflective journey. As a believer in Jesus, you will certainly face many obstacles in your search for love. Be encouraged—you are not alone. I have walked in your shoes, and so has Marie-Eve. We were where you are today, and our dreams came true—we found husbands who share our values and beliefs! Don’t give up. Don’t lower your standards to fill your dating schedule. Don’t start dating men who don’t respect your values. Yes, Jesus indeed shrank your dating pool. But you want only one man—a man who loves God as much as you do. And we are living proof that it is possible! I was thirty-four when I walked down the aisle for the first and only time; Marie-Eve was even older. And yet we both know this was God’s timing for our lives. Through all of my pain, Jesus was there. Through all of Marie-Eve’s pain, Jesus was there. And Jesus is there for you in the midst of yours.

Find yourself on these pages, make notes in your journal, grab some tissue, and hold on to hope! God is not finished with you yet. Keep living your life and pursuing your goals. Stay close to Jesus, learn lessons along the way—mature, grow, succeed, fail, repent—and keep praying for God’s timing. He is working behind the scenes right now, on your behalf, to orchestrate your future. Let Marie-Eve guide you on your journey to find meaning as you hold on to Jesus and the dreams God has placed on your heart.

Our hope is that you conclude the pages of this book with new hope for what God has in store for your life and a renewed determination to keep praying, keep growing, and keep trusting God.

—Dr. Victorya Rogers

Author of Finding a Man Worth Keeping

Preface

I believe in God.

I believe in marriage.

And for as long as I can remember, I’ve longed to share my life with a like-minded person.

I’m not here to defend my views or convince anyone to live the way I do. But if you picked up this book, chances are we’re on the same page. And if your journey’s been anything like mine, it hasn’t been easy. Something you assumed would happen early and organically—finding a godly marriage partner—has required monumental effort and taken longer than you ever imagined possible.

You’re embarrassed.

Disappointed.

Heartbroken.

You don’t know where to turn. You’ve heard all the clichés, pat answers, and trite remarks. They haven’t helped. In fact, they’ve done a fair bit of damage.

Why? Because they’ve tried to lift you out of your mess by blindly reaching into your world and grabbing your hand in the dark.

No thanks.

You don’t need sympathy. You need someone who’s ready to get dirty and sit in the trenches with you. Someone who’s willing to listen to every last bit of your pain. Someone who’s crazy enough to believe there’s hope—and tell you so.

I want to be that person for you.

I’ve been in your boat. I don’t know all the answers. In fact, I have more questions than I can count. But I do know what got me through—and I think it might help you too.

As you read my story, I pray you find hope. I pray you find healing. Most of all, I pray you come to know deep in your soul that you never walk alone.

Acknowledgments

My most heartfelt thanks to:

Kary, my mentor, publisher, and friend, for making a lifelong dream come true. I doubt I’ll ever find the words to express my gratitude. Don’t ever lose your spark. Or that blue wig.

Everyone at Igniting Souls, for working so tirelessly behind the scenes. You make it all possible.

Frank, my resident theologian, for being willing to take on this project and answering every last one of my questions. Your gentle guidance helped me find my footing and gave me the confidence to stand on my own two feet.

Lynne, my line editor, for making my writing sing. I didn’t realize how much I needed you.

Susan, my cover designer, for bringing my story to life. You hit it dead-on.

The team at JetLaunch, for your professionalism and continued understanding. Your work is top-notch.

Victorya, for believing in my message and lending your name to it with enthusiasm. Your endorsement means more than you know.

Bridget, my so-called water consultant, for granting impromptu interviews on all things surfing and lifeguarding in the moments before Bible study to inform my writing.

Pat at HMCS Sackville, for generously giving of your time and expertise in teaching me about the inner workings of a military ship as detailed in this book.

Bev, Bridget, Carlee, Catherine, Dalia, Heather, Jan, Joane, Jocelyne, Kirstin, Shannon, and Tricia, my beta readers, for setting aside the time to read and give your honest feedback.

Diana, my copy editor, for doing the painstaking work that too often goes unnoticed. I know from experience!

Joane, my sister in life and partner in nerdiness, for allowing me to enjoy retirement in peace.

Kailey and Amelia, my real-life unicorns, for writing the world’s greatest love on the blank slate of my boys’ hearts without once running out of ink. You’ll always be family.

Sean, the brother I never had, for teaching me to dance it off. You deserve to win all the rounds.

Bev, for holding up my arms when I could no longer fight.

Sofia, for giving me the space to question while simultaneously clinging to faith.

Kirstin, my kindred spirit, for always honoring the pain in my heart. There’s no one else like you.

My parents, the best friends a daughter could have, for carrying my heart in your hands and walking me through the trenches time and time again. I wouldn’t have made it this far without you.

David, the love of my heart, for believing in me, building me up, and giving me the gift of time to pursue my dream. I love the life we’ve built together. I wouldn’t trade you for the whole world.

Jordan and Joseph, my precious little boys, for being so darn scrumptious. You fill my heart to overflowing.

Oliver, Elliot, Gwendolyn, and Sebastian, my bonus kids, for keeping me on track by incessantly asking when my book would be published. Thank you for making space for me in your home, your lives, and your hearts.

The Lord of my life, for never leaving my side. You are the breath in my lungs. I owe it all to you.

Part I

Ride the Waves

Acknowledging Your Pain

1

My Boo, My Buick,

and My Bungalow

Coming to Terms with Your Grief

Four hours.

That’s an eternity to a kid. Still, my sister and I often shared the backseat of our parents’ sky-blue 1980 Oldsmobile for that long as we traveled to and from our home in Ottawa to visit our grandparents in Saint-Jérôme, a small town north of Montreal.

Besides singing along to every word of the latest Kids’ Praise! album, bonking heads on the middle seat as we fought for the ideal napping spot, and using a plastic spoon to grate a layer of slush from the top of grand-maman’s frozen applesauce (that was my sister on the way home, who couldn’t wait until it thawed), we’d pass the time by playing a variation of our favorite game: M.A.S.H.

The acronym stood for Mansion-Apartment-Shack-House, and the game allowed us to loosely predict the future.

In preparation, we’d write category names—Husband, City, House, Car, Job, and Number of Kids—on a blank piece of paper, leaving several lines between them. Then, using our vivid imaginations, we’d fill in each other’s choices of boys to marry, places to live, and so on. My sister could end up living in a mansion or a houseboat and driving a Porsche or a station wagon. I might marry Michael Jackson or the boy up the street I had a crush on and have eight kids or none. The possibilities were endless.

Next, we’d draw a spiral on a sheet of paper and then count the spaces between the more or less concentric circles to determine the magic number—say, seven. Starting at the top of the page, my sister or I would count down the list and cross off the seventh option, repeating this until only one option remained in each category.

And there you had it. Your future, on paper.

Following the game, we returned to our respective corners. Inevitably, I’d begin sketching my prescribed future: me in an elaborate wedding gown and cathedral veil, holding an exquisite bouquet of flowers, flanked by my handsome husband and four adorable kids.

I spent the rest of the trip staring