Struggling Well with Life: Devotions from Dad

By J. Robert Dees

How many of us wish we could sit across a breakfast table and ask our dad about lessons they had learned in life?

Writing as if having a conversation with his children, J. Robert Dees exposes the heart of a loving father with practical advice that has been proven in the crucible of his life.

If you would like an example of the things you should be passing onto your children, Struggling Well with Life is a great start to the conversation.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Sep 11, 2015
• ISBN: 9781512712278

J. Robert Dees

J. Robert Dees and his wife have been married for almost twenty-five years and are parents to three children. They make their home in Alberta, Canada, and attend Rockpointe Church. Although Dees holds a number of post-graduate degrees, the title he treasures most is that of "Dad."

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Copyright © 2015 J. Robert Dees.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2007, 2013 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

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ISBN: 978-1-5127-1226-1 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5127-1225-4 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-5127-1227-8 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2015914909

WestBow Press rev. date: 09/09/2015

Contents

Struggle Well with Life

The Choice to Follow

God Loves You

Planning

Listen

Protection

Keep Quiet and Listen

Slow Down

Get Advice

Put a Sock in It!

Wise Children—Proud Parents

Confession Is Good for the Soul

Virtuous Wife

Wisdom Will Give You Real Life

Listen … Please

Sin’s Deception

Common Sense

Encouragement

Wisdom from God

Enough Is Enough

No Excuses

Sneaky, Sneaky

Blah, Blah, Blah

Maggie

It All Starts with Jesus

Clean, Clear Mind

Acceptance

Fear of the Lord

Roads Taken

Money Does Not Equal Happiness

Getting Even

Trust

Commit To Memory; Commit to Life

We Know

He Knows

Drop It!

Cause and Effect

The Light

Cornered

Camouflaged

Be Humble or Be Humbled

Mom’s Advice on Leadership

Not Worth It

The Benefits of Wisdom

Hear, See, and Say

Tempered Temper

Adultery

God’s Wisdom, World’s Foolishness

Missing the Forest for the Trees

Our Words

Forever Four

Words of Value

Driver

Envy versus Love

Too Much of a Good Thing

Stubborn

Struggling with the Inner Man

Fear God, Not Man

Clean Appearance

A Mother’s Day

Solid Foundation

Accountability Agreement

More about the Mouth

Peace and Quiet

Lasting Impression

Getting Even

Don’t Assume

Here We Go Again

Employee of the Month

180 Degrees

The Heart of the Child

What Makes Us Great?

Always Thinking of Ourselves

Right Course

A Parent’s Love

Choose to Listen

Hook, Line, and Sinker

Recognize the Voices

Know That You Know

Nicodemus’s Need

Just What I Needed

I’m Standing Right in Front of You

No Where to Go

Speaking Truth

Be Aware

Too Much of a Good Thing

Get Wisdom

Love Discipline

Be Afraid!

Association Unequal with Relationship

Contentment

Pure Thoughts

Everything is Worthless

Jesus is Lord

Completed

Be Humble

Family

Always a Father

Satisfied

Genuine Empathy

A New World Order

Living a Proper Life

Be Watching

Accept Him

He Will Return

Head Down—Bum Up

Sin that Traps

Opened Eyes

Clearing the Conscience

Forgiven Forever

Our Advocate

Stay Focused

Acting My Age

Nothing Hidden

In Control

Always the Clown

Blinded by Pride

The End of an Age

Waste Not

Unpredictable

Fading Away

Encouragement and motivation to grow in your Christian life and continually make wise decisions are what I offer in this very personal devotional Struggling Well with Life: Devotions from Dad.

The book has 118 readings, each with passages of Scripture, a personal reflection, and a short prayer. They are designed to encourage the children and wife of a loving father and husband.

This book is focused on the two things I want to do well in life: first, to be a great husband, and second, to be a great dad. I have often wondered what or where I would be today if I were alone. Being a husband and father is the calling of my life, and I want to do it well. Twenty years ago, I had no idea what a godly marriage looked like. I was a follower of Christ, but I was also very immature and selfish. Yet God was faithful and began to do work in my life, work that is still in process today. With this book, I only hope to chronicle the heart of the myriad lessons I’ve learned.

It is an ongoing conversation with my wife and children. For many years, I have read a chapter of Proverbs each day, writing down my thoughts on napkins and scraps of paper. Well, the paper notes are stacking up, and I don’t do a great job of saving them, but I would like to keep them for posterity’s sake. Read them for what they are: the ramblings of a husband and father that messes up way too much.

J. Robert Dees

With gratitude overflowing, I

dedicate this book to my own father and mother, Robert and Virginia Dees, who saw fit to teach me about life through the clear lens of Scripture and demonstrated daily an unconditional forgiveness for mistakes I made.

The author and his wife have been married almost twenty-five years and together are the parents to three children. They make their home in Alberta, Canada, where they attend Rockpointe Church.

Struggle Well with Life

The book of Proverbs is filled with wisdom, common sense, and general instruction for living life. It covers the full cycle of life, all the way from the value of listening to parents to the perils and consequences of adultery. It is a life manual written by a father to his children, encouraging them to struggle well with life.

I fell in love with the book over twenty years ago by accident; I was looking for a way to be more disciplined in daily devotions. The book of Proverbs has thirty-one chapters, which fit well with a calendar (e.g., on June 19, read Proverbs 19). I often read the Proverb for the day and scribble on a napkin or scratch pad some of the advice or insight—e.g., a wise man listens to advice, a wise man thinks before he acts, and a relaxed attitude lengthens a man’s life. I usually put the piece of paper in my shirt pocket and pull it out throughout the day as a reminder of what I read that morning.

What I began to realize was that I needed to be reminded every day to control my tongue or to listen first before speaking. I am embarrassed to say that I’m twenty years into this experiment and still need daily reminders.

Proverbs is an interesting book; its author, Solomon, is considered to have been the wisest of Israel’s kings. But a detailed look at Solomon’s life shows that even he forgot about some of the things he taught. As I noted above, this book is primarily a letter from a dad to his children; the phrase my child occurs seventeen times in Proverbs, more than any other book in the Bible. It is the advice of a loving father given to the children he loves, encouraging them to live a life guided by God’s wisdom.

This book (with many references to Proverbs) is my way of encouraging you in your life’s journey and struggles. Life is not easy; you will make more mistakes than you can count. There will be times when you question why you are here and what your purpose is. But be patient, keep your head down, read your Bible, pray daily, and trust that God has your best interest at heart. Accept his discipline.

These devotions are written down for Aleta, Alex (Pumpkin), Joshua (Tiger), and Christian (Moose). Although others may find them useful, make no mistake—they were put on paper for the ones I love the most.

Thanks for making my world complete; God has used each of you to make me into the man He wants me to be.

My love always,

Dad

The Choice to Follow

I can’t remember a time in my life when I did not have an awareness of God. Even as a young child, I worried when I did something I knew was wrong that God would be angry and punish me. I made several attempts to run from this guilt by asking Jesus to save me; it never made the guilt go away, because my heart was never really in it. The thought of being a Christian interfered with my desire to live life and not miss anything, but the awareness of God and the urgency to follow after Jesus never went away. I wanted the assurance of eternal safety without the commitment to live a life of holiness.

Unfortunately, I did not understand that Jesus was not calling me to a life of don’ts; rather, He was calling me to a life of dos—a life that had purpose, meaning, and peace. So how did I join the ranks of those who are called Christians? Well, it came to a climax one day in May 1984. I had been struggling with several critical life decisions, one being uncertainty about what to study in university. At the time, I was also being challenged by a group of friends to take a closer look at what it really meant to be a follower of Jesus; when I compared their understanding and mine, they were radically different.

I wanted what they had: purpose and peace. Being selfish and always wanting my way came naturally. What I did not realize was that my desire to live life on my terms was the single thing that separated me from the purpose and peace I so desired. I physically could not rest; I wanted what my friends had. I prayed to God that Jesus would come into my life and take over, but nothing happened. I still felt empty and miserable.

Then one evening I felt the urge to call my dad; he was always there for me, praying for me and encouraging me in letters and words. He had already gone to bed when I phoned, and he asked me if anything was wrong. I blurted out that I felt God was calling me into the ministry.

And that was it; a peace and clarity of life came over me in a way that I can’t put down in words. I had finally yielded my desires to His plan. I tell people that the following morning my senses had changed; the sky was bluer, the grass greener. Something was altered. That day, I went and purchased a small pocket Bible and began reading it. It was amazing. It was as if I were reading it for the first time. Words leapt off the page at me, and I began to experience conviction for things I had done in the past. Over the next few weeks, I worked at making reparations for those things; it involved confessing and seeking forgiveness from some people and returning items I had taken from others.

Those first few months of being a Christ follower were a blur. God began to change everything about me. My desires, temperament, thoughts, and actions and a host of emotions began a radical transformation.

As I look back to that May (now over thirty years ago), I recognize that coming to a relationship with Jesus had nothing to do with the words coming from my mouth; rather, it was coming to a place in my life where I recognized I would be nothing apart from Him. He chose me, and I chose to follow. Jesus asked his disciples in John 6 if they were going to desert Him the way others had. Peter replied, Lord, to whom would we go? You have the words that give eternal life. We believe, and we know you are the Holy One of God (John 6:68–69 New Living Testament).

So that was how it started for me. I’ve made lots of mistakes over the last thirty-plus