The Crimson Thread Through Loss

By Jean Kingery

The Crimson Thread Through Loss invites you to discover God's design for "good grief" when a loved one passes away.

At some point in each of our lives, we will personally be affected by loss. The Crimson Thread Through Loss shares God's design for death from a biblical perspective, with personal stories of what it feels like to grapple with the death of a loved one. This book will explore how to best travel through a grief journey by providing you with a better understanding of the heavenly perspective and providing practical tools for how to best support others in times of sorrow.

This is the third installment in The Crimson Thread Series, which also includes The Crimson Thread Through Disability and The Crimson Thread Through Disability Reflections. In this series, the author pauses to give space for reflection on specific questions. These pauses will allow you to "thread the personal needle of sorrow with the crimson thread of faith."

• Language: English
• Publisher: Missional Challenge
• Release date: Jan 30, 2024
• ISBN: 9781952721151

Book preview

THE CRIMSON THREAD

THROUGH LOSS

DISCOVER GOD’S HOPE ON LIFE’S CAROUSEL

JEAN KINGERY

The Crimson Thread Through Loss

Published by Missional Challenge Publishing www.missionalchallenge.com

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Copyright © 2024 Jean Kingery. All rights reserved. Except for brief quotations in critical publications or reviews, no part of this book may be reproduced in any manner without prior written permission from the publisher.

Paperback ISBN 13: 978-1-952721-14-4

Ebook ISBN 13: 978-1-952721-15-1

Manufactured in the U.S.A

Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are from the ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®) copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright ©1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked MSG are taken from The Message, copyright © 1993, 2002, 2018 by Eugene H. Peterson. Used by permission of NavPress. All rights reserved. Represented by Tyndale House Publishers.

Scripture quotations marked (NIV) are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 20011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com The NIV and New International Version are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™

Scripture marked (ICB) taken from the International Children’s Bible®. Copyright © 1986, 1988, 1999 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture marked (ERV) taken from the Holy Bible: Easy-to-Read Version (ERV), International Edition © 2013, 2016 by Bible League International and used by permission.

Scripture quotations marked (AMP) taken from the Amplified® Bible (AMP), Copyright © 2015 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. lockman.org.

Scripture quotations marked (NRSV) are from the New Revised Standard Version Bible, copyright © 1989 National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture quotations marked (NASB) taken from the New American Standard Bible®, Copyright © 1960, 1971, 1977, 1995, 2020 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. All rights reserved. lockman.org

This book is in memory of

My Forever Friends

Ricky Vincent

and

David B. Ward

… lost on earth and found in heaven in 2023.

PREFACE

Dear Friends,

Let me begin by thanking you for reading this book. Providing a glimpse into God’s design for good grief when a loved one passes away is my feeble attempt to encourage you on your grief journey. On September 10, 2018, I became a member of the widows club. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone! Even today, it feels strange to check that box when asked my status. Perhaps you aren’t a member of the widows club but of another club that is knit together by the shared experience of the loss of a special relationship. Whether you’ve lost a spouse, sibling, child, parent, or friend, know that each of our journeys are unique and personal. However, there is a crimson thread which can tie our broken hearts together.

Last year I participated in a Discipleship Group at Cornerstone Church led by my mentor and pastor, Todd Nighswonger. Our assignment was to examine a topic impressed on us by the Holy Spirit in order to discover God’s intent (design) from Genesis to Revelation. Seeing life topics through the lens of the Biblical story was an eye-opening task. No doubt, I needed this gentle push to write on my selected topic of the death of a loved one. I was so encouraged as I discovered God’s heart on this topic in pages of my Bible, and I would like to share some of these special stories with you throughout this book.

As you turn these pages, I hope you enjoy the illustrations shared throughout. I am grateful for my illustrator, Kim Glauninger, who helped me solidify my message of hope and sovereignty through her creative designs. You will notice the hand of Almighty God underneath each image—holding, guiding, comforting, and sustaining. This is a great reminder of His everlasting presence. It’s because of His everlasting peace that I am inspired to share my story with others.

This Christmas 2023 is the fifth that my late husband, Chip Kingery, is truly HOME! Honestly, I often look over these past five years and realize that my grief journey will continue until I, too, am HOME (in heaven) with Jesus and believers who have gone before me.

One of Chip’s favorite theologians—and now mine—was Deidrick Bonhoeffer. After Chip’s homegoing, this particular quote profoundly touched me. I refer to it when I am struggling with the loss of my beloved husband and best friend.

There is nothing that can replace the absence of someone dear to us, and one should not even attempt to do so. One must simply hold out and endure it. At first that sounds very hard, but at the same time it is also a great comfort. For to the extent the emptiness truly remains unfilled one remains connected to the other person through it. It is wrong to say that God fills the emptiness. God in no way fills it but much more leaves it precisely unfilled and thus helps us preserve—even in pain—the authentic relationship. Furthermore, the more beautiful and fuller the remembrances, the more difficult the separation. But gratitude transforms the torment of memory into silent joy. One bears what was lovely in the past not as a thorn but as a precious gift deep within, a hidden treasure of which one can always be certain.¹

As I’ve been on this grief journey, God has used immediate family, dear friends and members of my community to come alongside me at times when I’ve needed extra encouragement. A dear sister recently shared Elisabeth Elliott’s devotional titled, God’s Help for God’s Assignment:

Sometimes a task we have begun takes on seemingly crushing size, and we wonder what ever gave us the notion that we could accomplish it. There is no way out, no way around it, and yet we cannot contemplate actually carrying it through. The rearing of children or the writing of a book are illustrations that come to mind. Let us recall that the task is a divinely appointed one, and divine aid is therefore to be expected. Expect it! Ask for it, wait for it, believe that God gives it. Offer to Him the job itself, along with your fears and misgivings about it. He will not fail or be discouraged. Let His courage encourage you. The day will come when the task will be finished. Trust Him for it.²

My goal in writing this book is to reassure you that the triune God has perfect plans according to His sovereign will when you experience the death of a loved one. This is evidenced throughout the Holy Scriptures. Please, join me on the carousel ride of hope.

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¹ Dietrich Bonhoeffer Works, vol. 8, Letters and Papers from Prison (Minneapolis: Fortress, 2009), letter no. 89, page 238.

² Elizabeth Elliot, God's Help for God's Assignment, Elizabeth Elliot, November 8, 2023, https://elisabethelliot.org/resource-library/devotionals/gods-help-for-gods-assignment/.

INTRODUCTION

You may be asking yourself, What is the crimson thread, and what does it have to do with me? The color crimson is a deep, vivid shade of red. A century ago, Garfield T. Haywood used this word in a hymn titled I See a Crimson Stream.

On Calv’ry’s hill of sorrow

Where sin’s demands were paid,

and rays of hope for tomorrow

Across our path were laid.

I see a crimson stream of blood,

It flows from Calvary,

its waves which reach the throne of God,

are sweeping over me.¹

My desire in this book is to examine the biblical narrative looking for God’s intent through the death of a loved one. There are three sections:

Old Testament Events

New Testament Events

Christ Follower Response

Each section has three chapters. The first two sections will give examples from the Bible that display God’s heart when death occurs. The last section compares our life without loved ones to a carousel ride. My longing is that you will have