Blue Skies and the Dove of Peace: One Man's Journey to Find God

By Mitchell W. Pezdek

All of us experience times of joy and sorrow, times of success and failure, and times of doubt and certainty. In our lives on earth, we need to ask ourselves why we are here and what purpose does God have for us. Life is a journey. In my life, I have had the moments referred to, and my guiding light has been a belief in God and Jesus, his only begotten Son. I am not a priest or preacher, but I do have some experiences that each of you readers can relate to. My purpose in writing this autobiography is to tell you about them and hope that they will interest you and, if you need it, help you in troubled times. Modern times are truly testing all of us, and many people have turned away from God. This is a sad occurrence, and I pray that my book will convince some of you who have doubts that God does love us, cares about us, and will help us when he ask for it. God bless you, and I hope my journey will enrich your faith. Without that, we are like a ship sailing with no compass.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Feb 9, 2024
• ISBN: 9798891300477

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Blue Skies and the Dove of Peace

One Man's Journey to Find God

Mitchell W. Pezdek Jr.

ISBN 979-8-89130-046-0 (paperback)

ISBN 979-8-89130-047-7 (digital)

Copyright © 2023 by Mitchell W. Pezdek Jr.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below.

Christian Faith Publishing

832 Park Avenue

Meadville, PA 16335

www.christianfaithpublishing.com

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

Chapter 1

In the Beginning

Chapter 2

Tragedy

Chapter 3

Hometown and God

Chapter 4

Poor Man's Harvard, Chaos, and the Six Questions About Life

Chapter 5

A Semester Break, God and Government, and Naval ROTC

Chapter 6

To Sleep or Not to Sleep, That Is the Question

Chapter 7

The Making of a Rebel

Chapter 8

Golf: God's Great Gift to Some of Mankind

Chapter 9

God, Country, and Family

Chapter 10

Marriage: A Sacred Vow

Chapter 11

Women

Chapter 12

Family: The Basic Building Block of Society

Chapter 13

The Golf News Magazine

Chapter 14

Auriesville Shrine

Chapter 15

A Dream Come True!

Chapter 16

Polish People Never Retire

Chapter 17

Music—Another of God's Gifts to Us

Chapter 18

People Whom I Admire

Chapter 19

Cooperstown

Chapter 20

Banking: Hey, Brother, Can You Lend Me a Dime?

Chapter 21

Leadership

Chapter 22

Night People, Boredom, and Thinking

Chapter 23

Tragedies, Such as Mass Shootings

Chapter 24

The Conclusion

About the Author

Chapter 1

In the Beginning

And God Had Plans for the New Baby

If you do not know where you came from, how can you possibly know where to go?

July 6, 1948—what an eventful day!

At the Ilion Hospital, Rose Marosek Pezdek gave birth to her first child, a son, who was given his father's name, Mitchell Walter Pezdek Jr.

It was a terrible birth!

Dr. Liestena had to use forceps to bring the boy into this world. When his father was finally permitted to see his newborn son, he almost passed out!

Covered with bruises, the baby was blue from head to toe! The fear was that the little one might not survive!

God had other plans, though!

The boy did outlast his rough introduction to this world, and his color soon was normal! A near miracle had occurred!

This was a portent of things to come! His father's mother, Zofia, had given birth to seven children, but two boys, Chester and Louie, died at early ages. When informed of this, the young boy realized how fragile life is, and he was very fortunate to be alive! This was a lesson that affected his outlook on life forever more!

Now, dear reader, before we go too far. Why are you reading this book? Why do you care how I lived my life? My hope is that you are curious because of its title and that God has inspired you to check it out!

Let me explain this before we go on. I do believe in God and Jesus, his only begotten son! Two of Jesus's teachings constantly inspire me.

When asked by the Pharisees, Teacher, which commandment is the greatest? Jesus smiled, because he knew that they are trying to trick him. His answer is actually directed to you and me:

The greatest commandment is to love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind. This is the greatest and first commandment. The second is just like it: love your neighbor as yourself! The whole law and the prophets depend on these two commandments! (Matthew 22:34–40)

Think about it! What does this teaching really mean? It tells us to love and obey God twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week! Worshipping God does not mean only going to church on Sunday. No, instead, it means that at home, at work, with your coworkers, at school, with family, friends, neighbors, and strangers, you are to do what Jesus wants us to do!

I taught church school at Sts. Peter and Paul Church in Frankfort and at Annunciation Church in Ilion for twelve years! No one ever fell asleep, look bored, or looked out the window or at the ceiling! I walked among the students and challenged them with questions. I was seldom up at the front of the classroom. The students were in the ninth and tenth grades, and my son and daughter were in that class at one time. Over and over again, I stressed this teaching: In this class, students, at home tonight, and in school tomorrow, each minute, you have to choose between what is right or what is wrong. God gave us free will! Use it wisely! Part of the problem in our society is that we do not accept this responsibility. If we do something wrong, we blame someone else! We refuse to say, ‘I did it. It is my fault!' Do not fall into that trap! God is watching us! He knows what we are doing! You will not get away with it!

The second teaching of Jesus is one of his parables. Do you remember that a parable is a story with a purpose? It is a way for Jesus to help us to understand proper behavior.

I am referring to the parable of the talents (Matthew 25:14–30). Some people think the parable is about money! Wrong! A man going on a journey told his three servants that he was going to give each of them money (i.e., talents), five to one, two to another, and one to the last. They are to keep them until he returns.

When he does come back, the first servant hands him ten coins (double the five he was given). The second gives him four (double the two he was given). The third servant hands him the one he was given. The owner is upset with the third servant! Why did you bury it in the yard? You could have at least earned interest on it!

Is this parable about money? No! It is about true talents—the special skills or abilities that we are born with—for example, art, music, writing, excelling at sports, public speaking, etc., that God gives to each of us. However, he wants us to use them! Do you know why?

Because the world becomes a better place for everyone! So please make sure that you understand what your talent is (teaching, running a machine, growing crops, being a salesperson, being a first responder, being a leader, raising children, whatever), and then use that talent as best as you can! Get away from the TV, cell phone, or computer, and use your talent!

Later on in this book, I will discuss more of Jesus's teachings and my way of explaining them. Maybe, just maybe, that is one of my talents! You be the judge! I believe that God wants me to write this book. If only one reader becomes closer to God or his or her belief is made stronger, then this book is a success! It is my prayer that more than one of you will be affected by what I write. I have broken it down into chapters that concern a particular topic. It is not a simple chronological story with a beginning, a middle, and an end. As I have written it, I pretended that I was you and you knew nothing about me. I do not want you to be bored, so I chose topics that may apply to each of us. For example, in the next chapter, I discuss how my dear brother was taken by God when he was only twenty years old. Needless to say, that was a difficult tragedy for me and my entire family. It was truly a test as to whether we really believed in God or not. When you reach the part where my dad and I discuss my visits to the hospital chapel, you will see how we could accept what happened, even though it was an extremely difficult task. Many of you have lost a loved one, and you understand what I mean. It is especially tough when the family member is so young. As my grandmother said to me, It should not happen that a parent outlives his or her children. Imagine how I feel, as a grandmother, who is now outliving my grandson. Never have I thought this would happen. It is only by faith in God and Jesus that I can hold up and continue on.

God bless you if you have gone through an experience similar to ours. I pray that your faith enabled you to get through it. You know, time does not heal all wounds. Every day, I miss my brother and wish we were together. Some people say to me, Well, time marches on. I do not reply, but I am thinking, Not for me. Not for me. I made up my mind to cope with the emptiness that I felt, but I knew that it would never leave me, and I do not want it to go away. When you love someone so much that you care more about him or her than you do yourself, time does not march on. Nor should it. Right now, my brother, Steve, is watching what I am writing, and he is smiling. He knows how I feel, and he is pleased that I can tell others.

Chapter 2

Tragedy

One of the worst things that can happen to an entire family is when God calls one of the youngest to be with him. It can be devastating!

How well my family knows.

My dad's two younger brothers, Chester and Louie, died at very young ages. So my grandparents had seven children, but only five of them lived on past the age of seven.

My dad's cousin and best friend, Stefan Zuchora, was my godfather at my baptism in 1948. When I was less than one year old, he fell out of his car, hit his head on a rock, and left this life. I never knew him personally, but I have his photo and have gone to his grave to pray and talk to him.

When I was ten years old, my mom and dad had a big surprise for me and my two sisters. My mom was going to have a baby! Her baby was to be a boy, and his name would be Stephen John, named after my godfather, so his first name would continue within the family.

Steve and Mom

Steve was my brother and became my best friend! My friends were his friends, and his friends were my friends. On Wednesday, May 9, 1979, an event occurred that changed all of our lives forever. Steve was twenty years old, and home from college at the University of Houston School of Architecture. He went with some friends into the Frankfort Gorge around 9:00 p.m. It had been ninety degrees during the day, and everyone wanted to cool off.

They built a campfire in a picnic area by the creek and were talking and fooling around. Steve got bored, waded across the creek, and climbed sixty feet up the cliff that bordered on the creek. At the top, he started doing cougar yells like they do at his college.

He lost his footing and slipped.

He started slipping down the cliff.

He brushed against a tree trunk, and that threw him into an uncontrolled spin!

He kept hitting his head on the rocks.

He landed in the creek and was unconscious!

His friends ran over, fished him out of the creek, put him in their car, and rushed him to the emergency room at St. Elizabeth Hospital in Utica, about twenty miles away.

Around midnight, my phone rang.

It was Mom.

Steve fell down a cliff, and he is in the hospital. He is unconscious. I thought you should know this.

I looked at my wife and said, We have to go there.

They let me into the emergency room to see my brother. He looked fine. He had no bandages, no broken bones, and no cuts or bruises! He did have a concussion and was unconscious.

Two days later, Steve woke up! He was conscious now!

We talked about what had happened. I asked him, Why did you climb that cliff in darkness?

He replied, I was bored. I wanted to do something crazy! We all have to do that at some time in our lives.

I will never ever forget my response to his statement: No, we do not have to do it, and I hoped you learned your lesson!

As I said goodbye to him, I said, I will see you tomorrow. Take care, and may God bless you! I love you!

Steve, as always, had a simple response, Ditto!

In the next few days, we talked and talked, but something was wrong. On Tuesday, May 15, we were watching a hockey game on TV, and I asked him, What is wrong?

He answered, Everything is blurry.

I immediately called the nurse in. She said, This is normal. He has a concussion. He will get better.

She was so wrong. On Thursday morning, at 6:30, I got a phone call from the hospital. Mom said, Steve had a seizure, and they are doing emergency surgery on his skull!

I told my wife, Let's get over there!

Drs. Lin and Wei, the top brain surgeons in the city, did the surgery. Dr. Lin came out of the operating room and said, There was a lot of bleeding around Steve's brain. We had to remove part of his skull to relieve the pressure. That is what caused the seizure.

I asked him, Can I go see my brother?

Dr. Lin replied, Of course.

Steve's head was all bandaged, and he was unconscious. Dr. DeLalla, a cardiac and vascular surgeon, was now in charge of his recovery. We talked to him, and he said, We will wait and see now. Your brother is young, with a very strong heart, and that is a good thing.

We stayed in the hospital all night to see what would happen. Around midnight, we went to visit Steve. The head nurse said she needed to talk to my dad and me. That is never a good thing! She said, Your brother's blood pressure has dropped to 40 over 20. He will not survive the night. We wanted to prepare you for this.

I went into shock and was speechless. It was now a waiting game for me, my wife, and Mom and Dad. Of course, we could not sleep at all. Around 7:00 a.m., Dr. DeLalla came into the emergency room. The nurse told him about Steve. In front of my dad and me, he became very angry!

My patient has had blood pressure of only 40 over 20, and you did not call me? he said. Listen to me, I want the flow on those two IVs increased, and I will put on a third one immediately!

Within twenty minutes, Steve's blood pressure increased to 120 over 80, his normal reading! I looked at Dad, and we did not say a word to each other. We knew what this all meant. Steve remained unconscious for the next four days. His heart was so strong that he was hanging in there. Then, on Sunday, May 20, the Lord's Day (how appropriate), he went to be with the Lord, our God. My dad looked at me and said, We have to go together to tell my mom, your grandmother.

I thought, My god! Steve and I had lived with Babchi (the Polish word for grandmother) for over ten years, ever since our grandfather had passed away. Steve was still living with her, while I was living with my wife, and he was on his way to her house on the ninth, when his friends convinced him to go with them to the Frankfort Gorge.

Instead of grandchildren, we were like her own children. She prepared meals for us. She yelled at us. She told us stories. Her house was our home, too. I looked at Dad and confessed something to him.

You know that I have been going to the hospital chapel every day to pray for Steve.

He replied, Yes, I know that.

Do you know what I said to God? I asked him.

No, he answered.

I said, Dear God, do what is best for Steve, not what is best for us.

Dad responded, Do you really know what that means? You were asking God to take Steve to heaven to be with him, where there is no pain and no suffering. That is what is best for him. For us, it is best that he recovers and stay here. We believe that heaven is better than earth.

I thought for a minute and said, My fear was that he would not fully recover, and we would have to take care of him in a new state of existence. I knew that Steve would not want that. I begged God to help us and do what was best for Steve. Are you upset with me for what I prayed for?

My dad looked at me, and I will never ever forget what he said.

Have faith. Steve is doing just fine. We are the ones that have to suffer through this, and we need to ask God for strength and help.

Steve and Bachi

Boy, no truer words were ever spoken. I had no idea what would happen if we went to Babchi's house. As soon as we walked in the door, she screamed and said, What are you doing here? You should be with Steve!

Dad answered her with the words that she did not want to hear, Ma, Steve is with God now.

Babchi screamed again and said in Polish, O god! No! Please no! She then looked at me and said in tears, Why did you let your brother die?

I was speechless. Dad told me, Babchi is in shock. Do not say a word. She does not realize what she is saying.

Then, Babchi sat down, sobbing. Here is a photo of Steve, with Babchi, in her house, at his high school graduation party. You can see the pride on her face and my brother's usual smile!

The calling hours for Steve at the funeral home were on Tuesday, May 22, in the afternoon and evening. Our family friend, Don Applegate, was the funeral director in charge. He said to me, because my dad put me in charge of making the arrangements, You have a choice. We can put a wig on Steve or leave his head bandaged.

I immediately said, Leave his head bandaged. I want people to know how he suffered.

Many people had no idea how true that was. Two hours before the calling hours started, people started lining up, and by 2:00 p.m. the line went out the door and down the sidewalk to the end of the block! Don said to me, This is the largest crowd I have ever seen! Your friends and neighbors are giving your brother a great farewell!

Don asked me about special requests. I said, There are two. First, the Knights of Columbus will do their service, with the fourth degree in their formal uniforms. Second, we want to pray the entire rosary for Steve, not just a few prayers.

Don smiled and said, Absolutely. I thought that was what you would say.

I told him that I was grateful for his cooperation.

Here are a few moments that I will never forget. You must understand that somehow, God was giving me the strength to do these things, when I really did not want to do them. It was a constant reminder that Steve had left us. My heart ached.

Two girls, friends of Steve, came in and in front of me, one said, Oh my god, that doesn't even look like him.

I said nothing, but I was upset with that comment. When people saw his bandaged head, many started crying and were unable to speak to us. It was not easy, waiting there and trying to be nice to everyone.

People were concerned about me. I was walking around like a zombie. My standard comment was to introduce my wife and say, This is my fiancée, and she is my main support!

When Babchi arrived, I took her to the nearest chair, so she would have a seat of honor, closest to Steve's casket.

I really could care less about the flowers that were there, but I did check out the cards to see who sent them since I would have to send out thank-you notes. When I got to the largest arrangement, I read the card and just stood there. My fiancée (my wife) said, What is wrong?

I told her, This is from Steve's fraternity at Houston, Delta Upsilon, and she said, Just read the card. It said the following: We just heard about Steve's accident. We are in shock. We are unable to attend his wake or funeral, but we want you to know that we are praying for Steve and you. What a great guy! We will miss him forever! Think about it: they knew Steve for only one year!

At our meeting, Don Applegate asked, Do you know who the pallbearers will be?

I said, Me, my brothers-in-law, and some cousins.

My dad asked me, Can you do this?

I said, You better believe it! He is my only brother!

As we brought Steve's casket out of the church, one of my brothers-in-law, Terry Lee, looked at me and asked, Are you okay?

Terry was the best damn keyboard player I had ever heard in a band, and he had been offered a contract to play in Nashville. He knew music, so I quoted the Hollies' song, He ain't heavy. He's my brother!

A light rain was falling down, and raindrops were on Steve's casket. The sky was very cloudy. I looked up and said to the priest and the pallbearers, God is shedding tears for us. He is sharing in our sorrow!

How true that was! God was happy to welcome Steve into his kingdom, but he was sad that we missed him so much!

Some of you reading this book have experienced the same emotions and you understand what I am saying. A tragic event like this affects the entire family, and you find out how strong your faith in God really is. Death of the body is not the end. The lamp is not put out. We cannot see it because the dawn has come! Life after the death of the body is certain, and all of us will experience it ourselves, and when it happens to family members and friends, it is not an easy time, believe me.

Here are some other incidents that are worth repeating:

Newspaper: Because Steve was taken to the hospital by his friends and not by ambulance, and he then went to God, the New York State Police had to investigate the cause of death. The local newspaper ran a big story, with this headline: Troopers Probe Death of Youth Who Fell in the Gorge.

Article about Steve

At the funeral home, during the calling hours, some people, out of sympathy, asked me what had happened. Others whispered to each other, I wonder what really happened?

It was gossip!

Was he drunk?

Was he on drugs?

Did he commit suicide?

Did his friends push him off the cliff?

That newspaper article fueled the gossip! I was really angry! Don Applegate told me, There is nothing you can do.

I said, I will write a letter to the editor condemning what they did and the hurt they caused me and my family!

Don said, Go ahead, but they will never publish it.

The chief investigator for the New York State Police, Earl Epps, called me, and I met with him. He asked me what I knew. I told him that my brother had said at the hospital after he regained consciousness, and those fateful words I had said to Steve, I hope you learned your lesson.

Investigator Epps shook his head sadly and said, That is exactly what Steve's friends said to me. What a sad, sad story. I am so sorry for you and your family.

The newspaper then printed a small follow-up story with this headline: Death of Youth Ruled Accidental.

That appeared a week after Steve's funeral! They could have waited to print anything, but no, we had to hear those comments at the funeral home! I knew that I would become a journalist someday (and I have—I am the publisher and editor of my magazine, the Golf News), and I vowed that I would never do that to someone else's family!

Of course, I did take three days off from work for death in the family—bereavement. When I returned, I was on the elevator by myself, the door opened, and the president of Oneida National Bank, H. Russell Johnson, got on by himself. We knew each other well. He looked at me and said, I am so sorry about your brother. How are you and your mom and dad doing?

I just nodded because I was too choked up. I was unable to say a word.

For one month after Steve's funeral, I never cried. I felt numb all over. I was truly a zombie, going through the motions of life. Then, one morning, I went into the bathroom at home. I started crying and crying. It was impossible for me to keep the grief inside any longer.

My wife and I lived in an apartment thirty-five minutes from Babchi's house. I went to visit her as often as I could three or four times a week. One day, when I was there, an uncle pointed to my brother's Pioneer stereo, one of the best stereos ever made. He asked me, What are you going to do with it? Sell it?

I looked at him and immediately said, No! No one will ever use it but me!

Today, forty-three years later, I still have that stereo and use it every day, including right now, as I write this chapter. Steve is very pleased with me for doing that.

At the time of Steve's accident, my wife and I were living together, but not yet engaged. About a week after the accident, we were lying in bed, and I asked her to marry me. She started crying. I was shocked.

What's wrong? I asked.

Between tears, she said, Of course, I will marry you!

Wow! Women are really different! They cry when they are happy!

She called her mom to tell her the good news!

So I went to the pastor of the church in my hometown, Sts. Peter and Paul in Frankfort, about a thirty-minute drive away. His name was Father Andrew B. Cekovsky (Father ABC, as everyone called him). He had presided at Steve's funeral and burial.

He said this to us, So you two want to get married at this church as soon as possible? Normally, a couple has to wait six months and go to preparation classes, called pre-Cana. Let me see what we can do.

Father ABC called me and said, We can do this, and your wedding date can be Saturday, July 14, about six weeks away. You and your fiancée will be going to class every week to prepare, and the two of you must meet with the pastor in your wife's hometown. You do realize that matrimony is one of the seven sacraments of the church and is one of the most important ones?

I told him, Yes, Father, I know that. I was an altar boy (altar server) for over eight years, and I did make my confirmation. Now, I have a request of you.

What is that request? he asked.

I want to name my brother as the best man.

Of course, that is all right! Steve is not dead. He is alive and well in God's holy kingdom. That is a great idea!

So my wife and I drove to her hometown, Schuylerville, near Saratoga Springs. The two of us went to meet with Father LeMoyne, the pastor at the Notre Dame Catholic Church. Her mom and sister, Tonya, went with us.

When we got there, Father LeMoyne looked at me and said, You stay out here. I will talk to the ladies!

I knew full well what was going on. When they came out, my mother-in-law, who was a Methodist, looked at me, and said, Father Le Moyne told us that we needed to understand that my daughter is agreeing that if they are blessed by God to have children, they will be brought up in in the faith of the Roman Catholic Church. We do not require that your daughter convert to our faith. I told him that I understood that, and I agreed to support them. You Roman Catholics are very tough people. You do not fool around.

I replied, "This is a very serious, serious sacrament. When we say to each other that we will love each other and stay married until death do us part, we mean exactly that. We will be saying the words of a sacred vow, made