Mr. Bill's Very Real Prostate Adventure: How to Thrive with a Prostate Cancer Diagnosis

By Bill McGowan

One in eight women get breast cancer. One in eight men get prostate cancer. And yet, there’s not much talk about it – because men don’t want to talk about it.

This silence means men are ill-prepared and ill-equipped to deal with a prostate cancer diagnosis. The silence stops now.

This book provides the in-depth, honest, un-filtered details of what it is like to live through the process of dealing with prostate cancer.

This is a “support group in a book.”

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: May 4, 2021
• ISBN: 9781667118482

Bill McGowan

Bill McGowan is the founder and CEO of Clarity Media Group. A two-time Emmy Award–winning correspondent, McGowan has conducted hundreds of interviews with newsmakers, CEOs, celebrities, authors, editors, attorneys, and athletes. McGowan now uses that experience to coach and train everyone from corporate CEOs to celebrities such as New York Giants quarterback Eli Manning, the actress Katherine Heigl, and the jazz great Wynton Marsalis. He also speaks regularly to large corporate audiences at such companies as Credit Suisse, Condé Nast, and Campbell's.

Book preview

Introduction

Everyone kept saying, You’ll get through this.  You’ll be fine, the nurse practitioner, my daughter the OR recovery nurse, even my buddy who had gone through the procedure 25 years ago.

You’ll be fine.

Okay.  Thanks for the positive prognostication.  It helped. But here’s the thing – no one clearly defined what this was.  The talk was all in abstract, general terms.  Yeah, yeah, it was a surgical procedure, a robot-assisted, laparoscopic, radical prostatectomy to be exact.  But that defines an event.  What about the process that surrounds that event? That’s the this that mattered to me.

Details.  I wanted details.

I wanted to know what I was going to be facing.  Oh, there were the outcomes to think about, to be sure. Some of them are quite concerning – incontinence, erectile dysfunction. Yeah, I was looking forward to a future living with those two conditions.... Honestly, though, I had very little control over those outcomes. They would be all rooted in the condition of my prostate and the skill of the surgeon who was working to fully clear up any mess.

No, my issue was with the this. What was I to going to have to handle during this situation? What fastballs and curve balls were going to be thrown at me? How was I to be best prepared to hit them out of the park or let them safely pass? The last thing I needed was to swing strikes.

Just please – could someone tell me what this was!!

I never got a full and proper definition.  Books and articles I read only gave bits and pieces of the process. Though I was able to piece together somewhat of a picture, there were plenty of holes.  Ultimately, the only way I was truly going to be able to get a handle on this was to go through it – take notes, personal notes, honest notes – so that those walking behind me along this path could get a fuller, less sterile, less clinical, less terminology-dominated explanation of how to make it through the process of dealing with prostate cancer and choosing a radical prostatectomy as the corrective action to best eliminate the current threat while mitigating future risk.

Whew! That was a mouthful....

That said, here’s a very strong, important, yet appropriate caveat:

I am not a medical professional.  I am not suggesting, recommending or advocating any medical procedures, techniques, or treatment options in this narrative.  I am a writer documenting my personal experience in the hope that by so doing, those who follow me in this dark adventure can have a better understanding of some of the things they could face and how one person – me -- dealt with them.

Consider my experience a baseline reference point.  It’s one man’s story. Your experience will be different, or perhaps not that different.  The point is, at least you’ll have a better idea of what paths this process leads you along so you might be better prepared for what you encounter.

In the end, you will get through this. You will be fine.

Chapter 1: And So It Began

This adventure started, as all things prostate need to, with a PSA test.  Mine came back in the low 9s. 

Not good.

A good PSA score is zero point something.  Given that, it’s easy to see mine looked out of control and worrisome. How out of control and worrisome was it? No one could really tell because genius-boy here had never bothered to get a test in my late 40s to establish a baseline. 

Was this number the result of a slow climb over 20 years or a rapid increase indicating something really nasty was brewing in my loins? 

Impossible to tell.

So why hadn’t I had my PSA tested?  I’ve been blessed with good health and rarely visited a doctor.  In fact, I didn’t have a regular doctor, per se.  I’d go every few years for a quick checkup and general blood work, but I passed on getting a specific PSA test.  Why?  Because, once again, genius-boy here had determined — with a high degree of self-affirming confidence, I might add — that prostate cancer wasn’t part of my life plan. The Universe had other trials in store for me. Besides, I’d already been told I had an enlarged prostate when I was 35.  One prostate issue was all I was going to have to bear. 

Plus, there was this bit of data I clung to like a drowning man to a life preserver -- one in eight men will get prostate cancer. There were six males in my family’s biological tree: my brother, four cousins and me.  One of the cousins got prostate cancer at an early age. That was it! He took the bullet for us – and even gave us room to spare!  Plus, to put a cap on my smugness, there was no history of it on either my father’s or mother’s side of the family tree.

I was in the clear. 

Yeah, right.

What a moron. 

Turning 65 and joining Medicare turned out to be a life saving event.  I found a nearby doctor I liked (next town over).  He put me through a battery of tests to see where I was on the general overall health scale.

Bingo!

It was through his efforts to look under my hood that uncovered the PSA red flag.

He gave me a recommendation for a urologist down the street from him and said, Make an appointment sooner than later.  We have to see what this is all about.

How stupid did I feel now?

I certainly wasn’t happy about it.  I started reading about what PSA numbers meant.  My life partner, Sue, got on board and with her superior internet research skills loaded me with articles.

Was a 9 bad news?  Turns out, there are several reasons for an elevated PSA and not all of them are related to the C-word.  One of them involved having sex within 3 days of the test.

Guilty.

So, there were multiple possibilities as to the causes and this wasn’t a certain death sentence. 

Good to know.

My appointment with the urologist was a source of anxiety.  Was it possible to get good news out of this or was it going to be bad?

The doctor looked at the test score, cocked his head as he looked me over and said, I’m going to need to do a digital rectal exam.

He pulled on the rubber gloves, told me to drop my drawers.  He grabbed my nut-sack and gave it a few tugs, twists and pokes.  He asked me to turn my head and cough.

So, Doc, why do you guys always ask us to turn our head.  What does that do for the exam?

Nothing.  It’s so you don’t cough on us.

Oh.

I guess I confirmed I was a moron in his view....

It was now time for the bend-over moment.  I don’t know how much lubricant he put on, but I swear it was enough to get his whole hand up in me.  He didn’t just poke at my prostate or brush against it.  It felt as though he grabbed it with two fingers, squeezed it, twisted it, knocked it side to side, then gave it a flick as he pulled out.

Yeah, I feel some abnormalities there.  Let’s get you in for a biopsy. You’ve got problems.

I pulled up my pants as I tried to catch my breath.

What does a biopsy involve?

I use ultrasound and a probe to extract twelve tissue samples through the rectum.  My office will schedule you an appointment.

Hmmm. That did not sound fun.

They