Aubrey Ascending

By Nicole Aubrey

This is a true account of one woman's early life traumas and paranormal experience's which lead to her kundalini/spiritual awakening.  After her awakening she began having extraterrestrial contacts, out of body experiences, demonic attacks, lucid dreams, astral projections, secret space program memories and more. Through a series of hypnosis sessions she was able to confirm she was a victim of MKultra mind control programming, used in off-planet missions and a part of the hybrid breeding program.  This book also contains questionarries to help the reader determine if they are a starseed, mind control victim, abductee or targetted individual.  There is a list of helpful resources at the end for futher reading or video watching on the above topics. 

• Language: English
• Publisher: Nicole Aubrey
• Release date: Jan 27, 2024
• ISBN: 9798224685400

Book preview

Section 1: Early Years

My incarnation as Nicole Aubrey began on March 5th, 1989.  I was born to two parents who are still together to this very day. I have one sibling.  My sister is two years older than me.  We moved from a trailer park in Renfrew Ontario to just outside the small hamlet of Douglas.  My family house, (which I will refer to as ‘the house’ throughout this book, because it comes up alot) is situated out in the country. It is surrounded by crop fields, a forest and a cattle grazing pasture.  No matter how many times I've moved away, life keeps bringing me back to this house.

I had a pretty good childhood.  My parents were not super rich but they always had enough money for food, clothes and toys.   My parents would take me and my sister fishing, canoeing, berry picking, ATVing, Skidooing, horseback riding, skating etc.  My mom had big vegetable gardens and she taught me how to prepare vegetables for long term storage and taught me how to sew, cook and bake.  My dad taught me how to change my car tires and oil and build furniture, pile wood and a variety of construction projects.  My parents were good to me, I don’t remember any massive traumas.  It was always very confusing because I never really understood why I had so many mental health struggles and PTSD symptoms as a child.

I was quite advanced even as a baby.  I began walking at 7 months old and talking at 1 year old. My earliest memory is from when I was one year old.  Even though I was only 1 year old when my parents bought ‘the house’ (for $40,000 in1990), I know exactly how the trailer that we moved from was laid out.  I told my mom when I was older exactly what the trailer looked like, where the rooms were, where the kitchen was, and where the closet was that I slept in.  There were only two rooms, my parents had one and my older sister had one.  My parents put a crib in the closet in my sister's room and that is where I slept for the first year of my life.

I first became self aware while I was in junior kindergarten (age 4).  The children were all sitting in a circle.  It must've been around May or June because the weather was nice.  I noticed all the kids in the circle were either barefoot or wearing sandals.  My friend told me to take off my running shoes.  I could not. That was the first time I felt insecure and aware that I was different. I was embarrassed about my feet, and REALIZED that I was embarrassed. I realized that I had changed at that moment. I was no longer a carefree, unconscious child. I was now hyper aware of everything.  I was aware of my own thoughts, feelings and actions.  And I was aware of the thoughts, feelings, actions and intentions of others.  

I also became hyper aware of my surroundings.  Later on I learned about ‘situational awareness" from a military family member.  I was in kindergarten class talking to my friend, Tara (name changed) and I could sense another kid coming up to take Tara away.   I was in the middle of a story, when Tara ran off with the other kid.  I thought to myself, how hurtful and rude that was, but I also knew it was going to happen before it happened.  It bothered me my whole life when people would interrupt or ignore someone when they were talking.  Made me feel like no one really cares about anyone.  

I also recall a very chilling  moment with my kindergarten teacher.  Her name was Mrs. Kohn. She hated me for some reason.   She treated my best friend Tara and the other kids very well, but for some reason despised me.  One time at recess, while she was supervising the kids outside, I was walking with her.  She knew I loved cats and was telling me a story about her cat being murdered and mutilated.  I have no idea why a teacher would tell a 4-year old a gruesome story like that.  It caused me much grief and sadness at the time. It was also around that age that I started feeling something.  Something I didn't have a name for yet.  I would later recognize it as severe depression.    This was also around the time I started having nightmares.  They were very persistent. I did not tell my parents because I couldn't describe them, I was too young to know what the words were. My repetitive nightmares were about me (and sometimes other girls) being sexually assaulted with vegetables.  

I was also traumatized by my friend's mother.  My friend Tara and I were hanging out at her house, playing outside.  She had a bit of a wild streak (probably because her parents were super strict).  She wanted us to take off our clothes and run around naked.  I refused.  I did not want to change in front of other girls in the locker room at school, there was no way I was getting naked.  She begged and begged me.  Out of sympathy, I said I would just take off my shirt, nothing else.  We danced around for a while and knocked over a bird bath.  Her mom caught us. She made us come inside and sent me home.  A few days later at school, Diane, Tara's mom, walked through the school into the back yard where we were having recess and grabbed me.  She got up close to my face (I was 5 at the time) and screamed at me that I was a bad influence and if I ever pulled anything like that again she wouldn’t allow me to hang out with her daughter.  I couldn't believe it.  It was Tara's idea and now I am being humiliated, getting yelled at by her mom in front of all the kids in the school.  I figured Tara must have tried to save her own ass from getting grounded by her mom, and blamed everything (getting naked, knocking over the bird bath) on me.  It broke my heart that she could betray me and lie about me like that.  That is when I first put up walls and started questioning people's motives for lying. I also started to  figure out ways I could determine who was going to be trustworthy or not.    

I excelled in elementary school.  Every subject I got straight A’s. My biggest trouble was ‘showing my work’ . The answers came to me intuitively.  I could just look at a math or science or english question on a test and ‘just know’ the answer. I never had homework because I finished all my work quickly.  My mom even bought me ‘workbooks’ from the store so I would have something to do  while I waited on all the other kids to finish their work.  In grade 4, my teacher even let me grade the other students' tests.  Since I always finished before everyone else, she would mark my test, give me the answer sheet and when a student finished their test, I would mark and grade it.

Gym was my absolute favourite.  Other than being too insecure and embarrassed to change in front of the other girls. ( I felt fat, insecure and different even at a young age). I would win at any sport I attempted, even against the ‘boys’ who were always better than the girls.  The teachers recognized how great I was at every sport that they would allow me to compete with the older grades.  

Around grade 5-6, I started to develop a real disdain for Religion class.  It was a Catholic school and we had to take Religion as a subject.  The school was also beside a church, which we would go to often. (I found it strange back then how only boys could be altar boys). Nothing about what I was learning made any sense.  It didn't sit right with my soul.  I would get in trouble for asking too many questions.  One time a pro-life anti abortion group came to talk to us.  They said that murder is wrong and you should never have an abortion.  I raised my hand and asked, what if there is a medical emergency and the baby is going to die anyways. If you don’t abort it, then the mother dies too.  Is abortion okay then?.  They said no, it's never right. So then I said, So you will let the mother die, when you could have saved her life?.  My teacher politely told me to shut up.   Near the end, I asked another question.  Is abortion okay if the baby is addicted to heroin, or severely deformed and brain dead and has no chance at life?.  They, of course, said No, the baby should still be born. I got sent to the principal’s office.

Lots of things about the bible didn't make sense to me.  We were taught that God was all loving and forgiving, but because of the sin Eve committed, all women forever were condemned to have painful periods and childbirth. Huh?. My advocacy for women started a long time ago.  I hated the way women were treated.  I still do. It bothers me to my core.  Because I was so good at all sports and was even competing with my garde and the older kids, my teachers decided to take me out of religion class and give me two gym classes per day.  I won a lot of trophies in sports.  

I also got bullied a lot in elementary school.  I was very sensitive.   I had a new best friend, Eva.  (we actually hated each other at first then became inseparable). I could ‘take’ the bullying, but when the boys started to bully Eva, I went into a blind rage.  Whenever I see someone smaller or ‘weaker’ than me being hurt, my ‘protect them at all costs’ side of me comes out.  Even at age 6 I was fiercely protective of not only the people close to me, but anyone being abused, bullied or wronged.  I  told my teachers about the bullying but they did not do anything.  I complained so much (because that's what we were told to do-tell the teachers), that eventually I was told, well you will just have to deal with it yourself.  So I did.  I became the bully.  I would physically beat the crap out of my bullies.  I had to be crazier, bigger, meaner and tougher than them to make them stop.  I didn’t work out too well because I got suspended alot.  In grade 6, I bought a pocket knife to school.  I threatened one of my bullies with it.  He told the teacher.  I got suspended again.  My mom decided that it was best for me to switch schools.   This is around the time that my Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (ritualistic behavior, intrusive thoughts), Tic disorder, depression, anxiety, suicidal tendencies, eating disorders, bi-polar (later diagnosed as Borderline Personailty Disorder), anger management, and defiant behaviours all came to a crescendo. I would begin my first stay at the mental hospital.  (More about this and the underground tunnels at the mental hospital later in the book).

So I left St. Michael's Catholic school in Douglas and started attending St. Thomas’ Catholic school in Renfrew. Before moving on, I'd like to share another significant event that happened while I was attending St. Micheals.  This shook me to my core.  

The perfect family.  The Healy’s seemed like the perfect family.  They had 12 kids (one in each grade) and were very kind and loving.  They had a family band that played at church every sunday.  All the kids were smart and great students.  The parents were teachers.  I will never forget the day that I was playing with Eva at her house when her mom, Sherry, got a phone call.  Sherry kept repeating, WHAT? OH MY GOD over and over.  Eva and I were curious about what was going on, so we asked.  Turns out, one of the Healy’s kids, (Michael-he was in high school at the time). Had killed himself.  His father found an unfinished essay titled, From despair to hope, in his room with a suicide note.  His father searched through the back fields and found Michael laying there with shotgun wounds to the head.  This really affected me.  It got me thinking alot about suicide and how his parents must have felt.  (ultimately what stopped me from commiting suicide was thinking about how much pain it would cause my parents).

This also got me thinking alot about perceptions. About how just because we see a perfect person or family, does not mean that they are.  I also thought about how no one truly knows another person and about all the pain that people hide.  I also thought that even if someone has a perfect life, they can still be depressed enough to kill themselves.  This (and my own mental health struggles) started me down a rabbit hole of learning everything I could about psychology, philosophy and human behavior.

At my new school,  I made new friends and things were good for a while.  The high school (which starts in grade 9 ) was right next to St. Thomas. I attended St. Joseph's Catholic High School at 14 years old for barely two years before I dropped out. I was struggling really badly mentally and emotionally at this time.  Sports and track and field were the only thing that kept me going.  I was on all the sports teams and was so good that the parents of the other students were getting jealous and pissed that I was never benched.  They complained that their kid isn't getting enough ‘court’ time.  For the first time in my life, I was ‘benched’.  It devastated me.  I started smoking weed and cigarettes to cope.

One game that I will always remember was when I was still in grade 8, but was allowed to walk over to the high school to play basketball with the high school kids.  We had a game.  I was the point guard.   The other team's coach even told all the players to guard me.  Only me.  My coach told my teammates to pass the ball to me as much as they could.  I scored over a hundred points that game.  My  mom showed up to watch. She was standing near the garbage can. When the game was done, I walked over to her.  She thought I was going to hug her, but instead I put my head in the garbage can and puked.  I had a massive fever. I played that whole game sick and scored more points than most NBA players. She took me home and put me in bed.

Walmart

Walmart is an interesting story and was also a big part of my life from age 15-21

At age 15, I dropped out of high school and wanted to make money. There was a hiring fair at the local Walmart in Renfrew. Although you had to be 16 years old to apply. I lied on my resume and got hired.  

I started out as part time in the dairy section. I was such a good worker that my boss very quickly promoted me to full time. Then, I was asked if I would ever move to Ottawa. They were opening a brand new store at the Train yards location and needed people to help with the store-set. Store set is basically putting all the shelving units together, getting the offices set up with desks, filing cabinets, unloading trucks and stocking the shelves and backroom.  I thought it would be awesome. Walmart paid for me to live in a hotel room in Ottawa near the store. They paid for a bus pass, calling cards (cell phones weren’t a big thing back then), food and other things. It was a great opportunity. After the store set was done and the store was ready to open I was offered a job as the department manager of the cooler and freezer sections, which eventually turned to all of the food section. I also got moved around and became department manager of Cosmetics, and Housewares.  One time while stocking shelves, I was having a particularly bad day.  I started to think about how many more years I’d have to work before I can just retire and do whatever I wanted all day.  The answer was 45 years.  I cannot even begin to describe the feelings I had when I had that thought.  I felt extreme depression and despair when I thought that I would have to get up early and be a slave at a job that makes someone else rich while I get 10 cent raises every couple of years.    I felt absolutely defeated and devastated.

After a short time, I was promoted to assistant store manager (where I went for training in Toronto, everything paid for). I got moved to the Lincoln Fields store for a few months (it is considered the worst store...new managers have to spend a year there to see how good they are and most of them quit because of that store). I must have done a good job because I was only there 3 months when I was asked to go work at the biggest and most profitable store- Bank street.

We had a general manager that worked for the Walmart Home Office and would often visit the stores. His name was Ken. He was a terrifying bastard.  Everyone was scared of him.  He was mean and crusty and was known to throw merchandise at managers.  But he was nice to me.  Very nice to me.  Strangely nice to me.  I found out he had a hand in all my promotions. I was the only one he ever said anything nice about.  

One time there was another department manager (a goody goody, suck up who dreamed about working at Walmart his whole life)-Jim.  He was super jealous of me because I was better than him and everyone liked me. He was also twice my age. He freaked out at me one time because I was up for another promotion and I had only worked there less than a year.  He worked for Walmart for 15 years and tried hard for promotion.  Ken was in the store that day and found out what Jim did.  He called Jim to the office.  We heard Ken yelling at the top of his lungs inside the office.  Jim walked out crying.  Ken was also from Renfrew.  I honestly naively thought that's why maybe Ken liked me, and because I was a hard worker.  Now I'm wondering if there was another reason why this big bad scary man, who tormented other people, was so nice to me.   Bank St was the last Walmart I ever worked at.  I was an assistant store manager and eventually found out about Walmarts dark side. I started to get invited to hang out with the managers after work. We would go to bars and strip clubs.    Which I thought was odd, but I was happy to be invited into the boys club.  Eventually those ‘after work outing" turned into huge parties with prostitutes, orgies, drugs, alcohol and more.  I did attend a bunch of them, but only drank and did drugs.  I did not participate in all of it.  I couldn't do it.  I only slept with one of the managers who I was already living with and getting high with.  I couldn't sleep with the others even though they tried to sleep with me... alot.  I also got addicted to cocaine at this time. I would work 10-12 hours a day then go to a party and stay up all night high on cocaine and go to work the next day. I was exhausted and had overdone it. This had gone on for almost two years before I broke.

I ended up going to my parents house one day and telling them everything.  They checked me into rehab in Pembroke the next day.  I slept for 3 days straight in rehab. After I woke up and realized three days had gone by, I felt very uneasy.  Why didn't they wake me up? What happened in those three days? I figured they just pumped me up with a bunch of drugs to help me get off of the drugs. But I felt very uncomfortable and uneasy.  

One positive thing did happen though, my sister and sister's friend Carry came to visit me.  Carry gave me two books.  The Four Agreements and The Secret.  I really enjoyed those books and felt hope for the first time in a